Monogatari Series - Volume 19 - Chapter 5.12

012

The epilogue, or maybe, the punch line of this story.

My hands were too occupied to do any punching, of course, and as for epilogue─when I came to at Kita-Shirahebi Shrine, the first thing I did was check my watch, and not even a minute had elapsed since I’d been sliced to pieces there by Miss Gaen.

March thirteenth.

Early morning, past seven.

“Really? You brought li’l Hachikuji back with you? What possessed you, her? Vastly exceeding my expectations as always, Koyomin. My plan was to have you stay out of the way if you managed to come back, so that you won’t mess things up, but how can I not expect even more out of you now?”

I turned to face the familiar, aloof voice, and sure enough, it was the perpetrator of my murder, Izuko Gaen.

Yet her relaxed tone didn’t reflect her state, which was far from halcyon─ten long claws, five from each hand, were to her neck.

Behind the smirking Miss Gaen, who sat cross-legged on the shrine stairs─prepared to rip out her windpipe at a moment’s notice, was a tall and fair-skinned vampire.

With her blond hair and golden eyes, she was too beautiful for this world.

Long limbs extended from beneath her gorgeous dress.

An iron-blooded, hot-blooded, yet cold-blooded vampire.

The Aberration Slayer─a monster among monsters who had lived for six hundred years.

Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade─in her complete form.

“Koyomin, wanna start off by asking this scary, pretty lady to put her claws away? I had her stay my execution under the condition that I’d bring you back to life no matter what…”

But wow, I never imagined the girl would get this angry─Miss Gaen said, composed despite her life-or-death crisis.

Shinobu─should I be calling her that now? Anyway, Shinobu also looked at me now that I was up.

“Hey. My lord,” she said with a supremely gruesome smile.

Right… If my vampiric nature had been fully “severed”─of course Shinobu Oshino would return to being a full vampire. We’d lost our link before, and we’d boosted our vampirism beyond the limit before─but seeing the complete Shinobu like this was impactful on another level.

This was no longer about our link via my shadow.

Our master-servant relationship itself had been severed.

She’d referred to me in the same way as always…but seeing Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade in her full form for just about the first time since spring break, I was quite nervous.

Nervous. Or maybe you could say tense.

“Ka─kakak. What, my lord? Why not play with my ribs as always?”

“No, that’d look way too weird…or rather, I don’t recall ever─”

“Hmph. Well, it seems no pointless killing or futile tearing was necessary. ’Twas my first time witnessing Yumewatari in operation…”

With that.

Shinobu withdrew her hands from Miss Gaen’s throat.

She’d planned on killing her if I hadn’t come back to life… I really couldn’t let her run rampant.

Shinobu then took long strides toward me─almost like a model on a catwalk, and in a way that emphasized her chest.

“Fool. How dare ye worry me,” she said, patting my head and smushing my hair. It might have been her first time doing the head-patting… “To think that after worrying me so, thou abducted a young girl from hell─’tis insane.”

“N-No, I grabbed her instinctively…”

“Then thy instincts failed to counsel against grabbing a young girl more than anything in the world.”

There was nothing I could say to that.

Then again, it wasn’t grabbing but leg-scissoring, I thought, looking down at Hachikuji, who was still trapped tight. Apparently unable to endure the shock of the reverse bungee jump, she was out cold.

Weak as always in the face of adversity.

Or I should say, what’ve I done…

I’d brought her back from hell.

“Hey, Shinobu. This can’t be good, right?”

“’Course not. But if thy plan is to turn thyself in, do it alone.”

“Don’t be so cold. And that’s not what I mean. Won’t this be enough for Hachikuji to activate the Darkness again?”

“I’m saying that was your highlight reel-worthy move, Koyomin.”

With the two enchanted blades hanging from the belt on her waist─the look suited her, actually─Miss Gaen approached us.

“Originally, I’d sent you to the other side to remove your vampirism, to purge the seat of your disease, and nothing more, but thanks to this miracle of yours we’ll enjoy an advantage in the battle ahead. The lost young girl─was a piece I wanted.”

“…”

“Is ‘a piece’ rude? Don’t get hung up on the word─call her a weapon then, a weapon in our fight. I could not thank you enough… Now that we’re in this situation, I’m going to have to ask you, Koyomin, as well as the no-longer-former Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, and Mayoi, of course, for just a little bit more help. For now, though,” Miss Gaen said, “why don’t you go take your entrance exams?”

“E-Entrance exams…” Did she expect me to leap back into regular life from a shrine that was host to a vampire, a little ghost girl, and an expert wielding two swords?

“It’s a student’s duty to study, after all. Get going, and you’ll make it in time. Do your best.”

“W-Well─yeah, of course.”

I hadn’t foreseen no time having passed at all on this side during my journey through hell… If I could still make it, there was only one thing to do: use every bit of academic ability drilled into me by Senjogahara and Hanekawa.

I couldn’t say I was in good condition─

But you go to war with the army you have.

“I’ll put you on it starting tomorrow, Koyomin─don’t you worry, it’ll be over by graduation day. We’ve got all the weapons we need. We were getting owned before today, but the preparations are in place at last. Let’s end this, Koyomin─and what do you know, tomorrow’s White Day. Perfect for ending this tale of a town a white snake once reigned over.”

Miss Gaen spoke with an uncharacteristically aggressive smile on her lips.

“It’s counterattack time, kiddos.”