Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 5 - Chapter 3.1

CHAPTER 3 

 My Hobby Is Solving Puzzles in Video Games 

1 

The sunset paints the area around our base in shades of gold, orange, and red. 

I’m lying on the sofa in the office, playing games while Viper diligently handles some paperwork. 

I’ve been thinking the day would end uneventfully again, but… 

“…Hmm. So Alice really told you that? That you can do most of the budget allocation for the city?” 

“Y-yes. Since it’s a hassle for her to come up with everything from scratch, I’m to make proposals, and Ms. Alice will modify them… U-um, is there a problem…?” 

There are currently four of us in Viper’s office. 

First, there’s Viper and me, then Grimm, nitpicking through the paperwork like a mother-in-law, and for some reason, Rose is curled up and sleeping at Viper’s feet. 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the overall proposal, but what about this item here? The budget allocated to childcare centers is rather high. Can you explain your reasoning for that?” 

“U-um… Children are a country’s greatest treasure, so I can’t imagine there’s anything lost by putting an emphasis on childcare and education-related items… Since this city doesn’t have any settlers yet, I thought it would be important to focus on raising the next generation of citizens.” 

As Viper answers nervously, Grimm slams the documents onto her desk. 

Viper flinches, and Grimm pokes at her with her index finger. 

“Then what about households without children?! What about single women?! Taking care of children is fine, but my taxes are going toward this budget, aren’t they?! Then I can’t allow that! Why should I, a single woman, help support other people’s children so they can have a happy little family?! I’m against it! If you’re going to do that, set up a matchmaking office as well!” 

Though cowed by the gloomy spinster’s heartfelt statement, Viper responds: 

“R-right now, there’s no need for a matchmaking office in the kingdom of Grace or this city… According to Ms. Alice, once the war is officially over, the peace will bring out a wave of food and jobs, allow for a flourishing economy, and cause an unprecedented baby boom. If that’s the case, it’s a better use of resources to support people who already have families rather than forcing people to get married…” 

“How dare yooooou!” 

As Grimm throws a tearful tantrum, I come across a difficult section in my game. 

“Vi, Vi, can you come here a moment? A puzzle just came up, so I need your help.” 

“Oh… Very well. What sort of puzzle is it?” 

The game I’ve been playing for a while is a simple dungeon crawler where the main character goes into a dungeon, solves numerous puzzles, defeats the dungeon master, and acquires loot. 

It’s mostly an action game, but the puzzles that occasionally pop up have been a real thorn in my side. 

It’d be super easy if I could just ask Alice, but it feels like she’d probably read the game data, analyze its contents to start explaining the scenario, and end up spoiling it for me, so I’ve been avoiding going to her for help. 

I mean, she’s already done that to me with a different game. 

Which is why I’m having the smartest person near me, aka Viper, lend me her insight. 

“So there’s a door in front of me, and there’s a banana hanging from a rope tied to the ceiling. The only other things in the room is a stepladder and a stick. Now, thinking about it normally, it seems to be hinting I should climb the stepladder and use the stick to hit the banana, but…” 

“I see. Based on the length of the stick, you won’t be able to reach the banana even if you’re on the stepladder… I have a few ideas. The first is that you get up on the stepladder, then jump and hit the banana with the stick. Second, this idea involves a bit more brute force, but throw the heavy-looking stepladder at the banana. Third…why not make the stick longer? Your character has a sword, yes? How about using something like a rope to tie the stick to the tip of it?” 

Viper looks a little proud of herself as she proposes three potential solutions. 

I see, these are the fruits of the elite education given to the Demon Lord’s daughter… 

“Wow, Vi, those are great ideas. I’m sure at least one of them will work.” 

Evidently drawn by my game console, Grimm wanders across the carpeted office floor and peers at the screen. 

“That’s an odd thing you’re playing with… What is it? Does that door not open? Why will it open once you retrieve the banana? Why can’t you just break the door down?” 

Grimm proposes something off-the-wall, revealing she’s totally ignorant of video games altogether. 

“Why won’t it open? Well, that’s because of the game’s overall gimmick. The door just generally opens when you figure out—” 

As I try to show Grimm that the door is locked, it just opens normally. 

“What are you talking about? It just opened really easily. What’s the point of that banana?” 

“No idea.” 

I mean, I really don’t know what the game developers were thinking. 

…Oh! 

“Don’t worry about it, Vi. The important thing is that it opened! And look, if the hunger gauge starts getting low, I can use your solutions to get that banana!” 

Viper covers her face and turns away, seemingly embarrassed by how confidently she gave those wild proposals. 

…Just then. 

The base quakes, and Alice’s voice comes over the loudspeaker. 

“That damned mole is here again. Remember the plan I explained during our morning meetings. All Combat Agents, take your positions and don’t you dare use the B-Equipment.” 

Since the day after the first attack, the Sand King’s been randomly attacking us. 

“You’ve readied the harpoon guns, right? All agents, fire at will!” 

With those orders from Alice, the agents begin firing harpoons at the Sand King. 

There’s a sturdy rope attached to the back of each harpoon, and the other end is secured to an iron spike driven deep into the ground. 

The plan is to use these to immobilize the Sand King and cut off its escape, then gradually chip it down. 

“Take that!” 

“We’ve got you, dammit!” 

All Combat Agents other than myself are either firing harpoons from their launchers or chucking them with their enhanced strength. 

Since my Evil Points are still in the red, I’m stuck guarding Alice. 

“Whoo-hoo, I got ’im! Pull in the rope!” 

“You’re not getting away this time! Tonight, we’re dining on mole soup! …Er, wait.” 

A harpoon lands a direct hit on the Sand King, but rather than burying itself in its flesh, the whole thing bounces right off. 

“Not again! I knew its hide could deflect bullets, but harpoons, too?! What the hell is it made of?!” 

“How are we supposed to beat this thing?!” 

The Sand King, annoyed by this onslaught, starts flailing wildly. The agents scream as they flee the mole’s giant limbs. 

Watching the scene unfold before her, Alice tilts her head and appears very unsatisfied. 

“I’d received reports that gunfire doesn’t work on it, but why aren’t the harpoons working, either? It might be huge, but it’s still a mole. I can’t imagine its hide is that tough.” 

Harpoons might be a primitive weapon, but given that the agents have all been cybernetically enhanced, I can’t understand why the projectiles they’ve been throwing have been so ineffective. 

The harpoon guns aren’t doing anything, either. 

Since it’s a mole, could it be that it dug deep into the ground and found some mystery metal that it absorbed into its skin? 

I pick up one of the deflected harpoons off the ground. 

“Release restraints!” 

<Releasing power-armor safety restraints. Proceed?> 

At my statement, the other agents look at me in shock. 

<With restraints disengaged, the power armor will require a three-minute cooldown period for every one minute of activity. Continue?> 

“Yeah, do it. This is the sort of situation where the difference in one’s experience shows. A veteran Combat Agent really oughta shine here. Sheesh…” 

<Releasing safety restraints. To cancel, please issue cancellation order at any point during the countdown. Ten…nine…eight…> 

If the harpoon doesn’t have enough power behind it to pierce the skin, then all we need to do is add more power. 

Seems that simple fact doesn’t occur to the weaklings who are completely dependent on guns. 

“I’ll show you how a real Combat Agent operates. We’re assault troops who are most valuable when fighting on the front lines! Now’s no time to hide in the back! Hey, you stupid mole! Get ready to meet your maker!” 

As I challenge it straight on, the Sand King turns its nose toward me. 

Seems it’s decided from my sheer presence that I’m not an opponent it can ignore. 

That, or it just likes the smell of the snacks I’d been munching on earlier. 

“Yo, Six, you weren’t listening to me during any of the morning meetings, were you? If the harpoons don’t work, sure, release your restraints. But in that case, you’re supposed to drop back for safety’s sake and wait until the other agents draw its attention… You know I went to the trouble of explaining the plan every morning in case the mole showed up again, right?” 

“Come to think of it, I can’t remember participating in any of the morning meetings…” 

… 

<Power-armor restraints disengaged.>