Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 4 - Chapter 4.1

CHAPTER 4 

 Vs.…… 

1 

Due to Alice’s relentless teasing over being terrified of a “cosplayer,” Lilith’s holed up in her tent. 

Three days have passed since I decided to leave that bothersome boss to her own devices. 

And today, it’s just getting to be evening. 

Under the direction of Alice the Ghost Hunter, the hideout is finally complete. 

It’s a fortress standing a comfortable distance from the Great Woods, its outer walls coated with antilaser paint. Now the savages and their mysterious attacks won’t be able to put a scratch on it. 

And if the monsters from the woods attack, the barbed-wire fencing surrounding the perimeter will slow them up until the scores of heavy machine guns mounted inside the fortress turn them into Swiss cheese. 

“Look at this, Alice. It’s our castle. This is where the epic story of Mr. Combat Agent Six and his useless subordinates will begin.” 

“And just who are you including among those useless subordinates? I’m not your subordinate; I’m your partner. So let’s change the story title to The Rise of Six, Alice, and Co. ” 

While we’re looking over the wastelands and woods from the rooftop of the giant fortress, a voice calls over from behind us. 

“…Hey, um, I’m nowhere to be found among any of those titles…” 

After spending the last few days shut up in her tent talking to the orange crawfish, Lilith finally emerges just in time for our move-in day. 

“The hideout’s done, Lady Lilith, so you’ll be able to go home in a month or so.” 

Lilith purses her lips in a pout at my ironclad logic. 

“So you’re just going to leave me out of it, Six? You went to the trouble of specifically asking for me to come here. Aren’t there other things you could be saying? Something like how you’ll be lonely without me here, or suggesting I stay a little bit longer. There are so many nicer things you could say…” 

I do my best to just let my bothersome boss’s bothersome complaints go in one ear and out the other, when Alice lightly tugs at Lilith’s lab coat. 

“On that note, Lady Lilith, it looks like you’ll be able to go home in less than a month. It’s the second time we’ve conducted portal stabilization. With my superior skills, I’ve managed to shorten the time to two weeks. You’re welcome to praise me, of course.” 

The emotions behind the look Lilith gives Alice are surprisingly hard to identify. 

“I—I see. Well done, Alice. But choosing now, of all times, to mention that feels intentionally cruel on your part…” 

Lilith looks totally defeated, perhaps because she hasn’t had a real win since she got here. 

“Oh, it’s not like I’m trying to get rid of you because you’re worth even less than the food you’re consuming. It’s not like I want you to leave because I’m sick of your picky orders for dinner.” 

“Alice, are you sure you’re not in a rebellious phase?! I don’t remember equipping you with the ability to mouth off to your creator! I am your god , remember?! Your loving parent! Would it kill you to be a little nicer to me?!” 

Lilith tearfully pleads with Alice. I guess all the disrespect is really wearing her down. 

“Lady Lilith, let’s focus on something more important. How are we going to annihilate our competition? I mean, that’s honestly the reason I wanted you here.” 

Yes, my true goal in requesting Lilith was to use her overpowered Supreme Leader abilities to blow away the competition. 

Now that the hideout is complete and we have a foothold for conquering the planet, our next highest priority is to take out our competitor, the Demon Lord’s Army, in order to nip any potential threats in the bud. 

Unfortunately, Lilith averts her gaze at that comment, looking a bit uncomfortable. 

“…Demon Lord’s Army, Demon Lord’s Army… Reading the reports, it seemed like they’d be easy enough to take out, but…what are they really like? Let’s remember that the giant lizard, the giant sparrow, and the giant slime weren’t in any of the reports I got.” 

Lilith’s understandably cautious, seeing as she’s been tossed up against foe after imposing foe ever since she arrived. 

“There are a few that are kind of strong, but I’m sure they’re no match for you, Lady Lilith.” 

“Yeah. The most they have is a giant robot that can damage a Destroyer and a handful of leaders that are mutant-class in terms of abilities. I’m sure Lady Lilith would make quick work of them.” 

As Alice and I try to reassure her, Lilith starts fidgeting. 

“…You know my actual role is to serve as the brains and not the brawn, right? There’s the one-in-ten-thousand chance that something will go wrong, so maybe I should go back to Earth and send Belial in my stead… I mean, think about it. With my method of fighting, I would burn through a massive amount of Evil Points in no time at all. It would be a great loss for Kisaragi if I ran out of points and lost most of my firepower.” 

Our words fall on deaf ears, and our useless boss starts fishing for excuses. 

I guess being faced with the ultimate authority of the angel was too much for our timid little science geek. 

“What’s going on? Did the angel freak you out that badly?” 

“I c-can’t help that! My instincts were screaming you’ll never win against that thing the whole time! In fact, the eviler you are, the more afraid you would be of a holy being like that. With the atrocities I’ve committed, I couldn’t hope for redemption even if I spent the rest of my life doing good deeds.” 

…I’m in the same boat, actually. 

Noticing that I’ve grown silent next to Lilith, my partner, who absolutely loathes all things supernatural, suddenly snaps. 

“You’re all just a bunch of cowards. Wave the banner of evil proudly! Give God the middle finger! Lady Lilith, how the hell can you call yourself my creator, huh? Huh?!” 

“No, the question is more why you, as one of my creations, are so hostile to the notion of gods. I’m really growing worried about you… I’m scared you’re going to do something terrible the moment I take my eyes off you…” 

Alice looks fed up, but in all honesty, I’m afraid of supernatural stuff like ghosts and angels, too. 

The reason we villains can commit to our villainy is because we don’t believe in an afterlife. 

I’m not as bad as Lilith, but I’ve done a lot of blasphemous stuff, like stealing money from offering boxes at shrines or peeing on the entrance gates. I’ve pretty much secured myself a one-way ticket to hell. 

“…Tch, what am I going to do with this wimp of a parent? Yo, Six, we’ll do something about the Demon Lord’s Army on our own. I mean, now that we’ve got this hideout, it’s just a matter of time.” 

“Huh?” 

Having my hopes for total annihilation of the enemy at the hands of a Supreme Leader utterly dashed, I can’t hold back a surprised gasp. 

Lilith, on the other hand, lets out a sigh of relief. 

“…As for you, Lady Lilith, now that we have no idea why you bothered coming here, the least you can do is go survey those weird ruins.” 

“Huh?” 

Fresh beads of sweat appear on Lilith’s brow. 

Alice’s harsher-than-expected critique has paralyzed her with shock. 

Alice continues, having caught the sympathetic glance I offered the frozen Lilith. 

“Not to spoil your schadenfreude, Six, but you’re going with her.” 

“Huh?”