5
“S-sob…s-sniff…sob…”
After watching Elwhatever curse Grimm and depart for the heavens…
“Could you stop crying already? I mean, c’mon. You already have a tendency to get stuck with weird men. From now on, at least you’ll know that everyone you meet has some kind of problem. That’s useful, right?”
We’ve started on our way back to the hideout as Grimm continues sulking in her wheelchair.
“How is that useful?! …Sure, I knew all the men I met had issues… I knew that! But why can’t I have a little hope?! All I wanted was to believe that maybe, just maybe, I’d meet one who might turn out to be a wonderful man with no overwhelming flaws. Was it so wrong to want that?! And now…! Now I won’t be able to hold out any hope for the men I meet from now on!”
Well, sure, but that’s not my fault.
“Now I won’t even be able to think Yeah, I know this guy’s got some weird fetish or other potential red flags, but perhaps there’s a chance … There isn’t even a smidgen of possibility for that anymore. No matter how handsome they may be, I’ll have to worry they might actually be a woman, or however kind they may be, I’ll have to worry they’re only after me for my money… I won’t be able to enjoy so much as a simple give-and-take relationship!”
Grimm’s so defeated, she can’t even be bothered to move her own wheelchair.
And so, I dutifully wheel around my whiny subordinate.
“I mean, it’s sort of your own fault for getting fed up with Alice and summoning all these weirdos. First a demon, then an angel. Aren’t you supposed to be the archbishop of the dark god who handles the undead?”
“Don’t call Lord Zenarith a dark god!”
After spending some time moaning in her wheelchair, Grimm seems to come to a realization.
“…That’s right. There’s still one path left for me! Lord Zenarith! Maybe my revered Lord Zenarith is actually super handsome, and no longer being able to take my despair…”
“I’m not one hundred percent on this, but I think your god might actually be a goddess.”
“Why are you killing my last glimmer of hope?! Are you that upset by the prospect of me meeting someone, Commander?! Then why don’t you take me yourself?!”
I mean, didn’t you mention that you were getting chewed out by some woman claiming to be Zenarith when you were dead? Wasn’t she yelling at you to stop dying for such stupid reasons?
While I wheel along the despairing Grimm, Lilith is lecturing Alice behind me.
“Listen to me, Alice. You’re an android, so I know you don’t have it, but people have this thing called instinct. And that was a presence that people simply cannot challenge. It’s brave to stand up to the powerful, but that was on a completely different level.”
“Right. Whatever you say, Lady Lilith. Now, I want to do research on the feathers and dandruff I gathered from that cosplayer, so can I go on ahead?”
“No, you may not! Also, stop calling that material ‘dandruff.’”
I’m a bit worried that my partner’s just gathering really dangerous stuff.
Hell, are we sure feathers from an angel are something that should even exist on this planet…?
“Commander, are you listening? Do you even understand why I’m so upset? It’s because you haven’t shown the slightest intention of giving me a necklace…”
“Listen, I actually did get one for you. But the Sky King took it from me during Lady Lilith’s mission.”
I didn’t mean anything by those words, but Grimm stops squirming in despair.
“…Really? No doubt you’re just getting my hopes up so you can disappointment me again, Commander. I’ve figured it out, you know. You say the things I want to hear, then blame the Sky King. I know already. I won’t be fooled that easily.”
Even as she says this, she steals little glances at me. What a pain.
…Huh.
Speaking of pains…
“Hey, Alice, can you give me some of the materials you gathered from the angel?”
“Are you kidding me? Why should I, given how freaked out you were by that cosplay girl? If you want them, you should start addressing me with some respect.”
“I’m not sure how many times I have to repeat myself, but I am your creator .”
While Alice and Lilith have their routine back-and-forth, I can’t shake the feeling that we’ve been missing someone ever since the Sky King operation…
“Hey, Commander? Could it be that you’re actually happy I won’t ever meet any decent men from now on? Are you feeling a little relieved by the fact that there won’t be anyone coming after me…? Honestly, I’m happy to know how you feel about me…but we’re still not formally engaged, you know, so getting hung up on me is…”
I ignore Grimm the rest of the way back to the hideout.
As my three companions continue fussing, I quicken my pace. Would it kill them to keep the noise down? At this rate, they’re gonna wake up the entire neighborhood.
“I mean, what sort of lousy excuse for a Supreme Leader are you, cowering from a cosplayer?”
“Is that any way to speak to your creator?! Alice, I’m running some tests on you when we get back to base!”
I’ve gotta say, these are some of the most peaceful days I’ve had since becoming a Combat Agent.
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