Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 4 - Chapter 3.4

4 

“Commander, what should I do…? My all-too-pure wish has summoned an angel, of all things…” 

Given that she’s describing her own wish as pure, it doesn’t seem like she feels that guilty about it. 

“Well, I mean, you managed to show Alice and Lady Lilith your power, and it’s a lot better than summoning a demon or a ghost, isn’t it? I mean, she’s pretty easy on the eyes, so what’s the problem?” 

Responding to Grimm’s summons, an angel with snow-white hair and wings appears before us. 

She gives off such a divine aura that the very act of looking upon her makes me want to confess and repent for my past sins. 

Garbed in pure-white clothing, the angel has a shimmering halo of light floating above her head, and she scatters motes of light with every flap of her wings. 

The angel, still unsure what to make of the situation, slowly surveys her surroundings. 

Lilith, frozen in shock over the unprecedented development, stares wide-eyed at the angel. 

“I don’t know if it’s good or bad, actually. You know I’m a follower of Zenarith, right? The other faiths treat her as though she’s a dark god. I mean, I don’t feel guilty about it, but I’m not sure an angel wouldn’t judge me over it…” 

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re screwed. I mean, your faith’s all about undeath and disaster, right? You summon ghosts and demons, so you’re definitely in the enemy of angels camp. The whole nocturnal thing means you’re on the side of darkness, duh.” 

Hearing this, Grimm cowers behind me. 

Surprisingly, Lilith, who always pokes fun at this sort of supernatural stuff, also appears unsettled. 

“What’s wrong, Lady Lilith? You’re the sort who’d pick your nose and shrug if God himself came down and started lecturing you, right?” 

“What the hell, Six?! No, I wouldn’t pick my nose. I mean, you can feel it, can’t you? Aren’t your instincts telling you that thing isn’t something humanity should be insulting…?” 

The angel looks like a winged woman with almost frighteningly beautiful features. 

She strikes me as a calm, cool beauty, but she’s not doing much. She’s just floating in place. 

“…I mean, you’ve been shivering, too.” 

At the frightened Lilith’s words, I finally notice my trembling legs. 

Oh, so this is what fearful reverence feels like. 

I doubt any living creature could do anything other than kneel in supplication at the angel’s feet. 

As proof, Grimm, who is ordinarily a bit pale, is now white as a sheet, and she wears the expression of someone facing certain doom. 

What do I do? Maybe if I try worshipping her, I’ll receive a blessing or something. 

“What a thing to summon! Sheesh!” 

“How was I supposed to know an angel would pop out of the summoning circle?! It just means my wishes were that pure!” 

Despite the fact that she’s probably in the most danger from a religious point of view, Grimm still seems to have a shred of composure. 

“Anyway, Six, since we don’t know if it can speak or not, let’s try to get it to leave while doing our absolute best not to offend it.” 

Grimm and I nod at Lilith’s suggestion. 

Just then, I’m reminded there’s someone here who is completely unaffected by this sort of supernatural event. 

“Hey, why the hell are you wearing a fluorescent lamp on your head?” 

Please don’t, Alice! 

“…?? ??, œœ… Er, uhhh… Ah, this planet’s language is this one.” 

“Sh-she speaks,” says Lilith, shocked to find that the angel can fluently speak the local language. 

“Well, I mean, she’s got a human-ish head, so I’m sure she can at least talk, Lady Lilith.” 

“Alice, can you be a little bit more respectful? Do you know who you’re addressing?” 

Alice doesn’t spare the least bit of concern toward the angel, even as the heavenly figure spreads motes of light with her every move. 

“It’s one of those cosplay creatures, right? The kind that spawns by the dozens at comic conventions in the summer and winter.” 

“Cosplayers aren’t wildflowers that pop up after the rain, Alice! More importantly, treat that person with respect,” Lilith barks while taking cover behind me. 

“What the hell are you so afraid of anyway? Considering your designs for the Kisaragi combat armor and the racy outfits the Supreme Leaders wear, you’re pretty much the same as them.” 

“Look, just listen to me. Alice, come over here. Please. I’m begging you.” 

As Lilith pleads with Alice, her metal tentacles emerge from under her lab coat. 

…But Alice casually sidesteps and approaches the angel as though driven by curiosity. 

“…Hmm. Seems a bit different from the hologram Grimm made the other day.” 

My partner, completely unfazed by anything and everything, cups one of the angel’s boobs. 

Apparently, she wanted to see if the angel was tangible, but satisfied with the sensation, she continues to grope away. 

As Lilith and Grimm look about ready to faint, I’m treated to the strange sight of a blonde girl fondling a white-haired angel. 

I mean, sure, I did something like that to Snow, but my partner’s a little too fearless. 

The angel, despite being groped, seems unperturbed by Alice’s actions and opens her mouth to speak with an unflappable calm. 

“…Child of man.” 

“I’m not a child of man; I’m a child of machines. How much were you paid to be here? Given your looks and acting ability, you’d make more working for me.” 

Okay, my partner’s gutsiness is going way too far. 

“Since you’re the one who made that android, I’ll leave matters to you if a fight breaks out.” 

“I did create her, but it’s your fault she ended up that way. If a fight does break out, I’m running.” 

As we’re busy trying to transfer responsibility in hushed tones, Alice continues groping the angel. 

“You seem to misunderstand, child of man. I have come to this doomed world, drawn by a fervent longing…” 

“I keep telling you I’m not a child of man, you stupid cosplayer. I’m not interested in role-playing with you. Instead, why don’t you tell me how you ended up here?” 

What should I do? As her partner, do I have a responsibility to stop Alice? 

…The stalwart angel seems to find herself at a loss at Alice’s continued handsiness. 

“…Child of man, supplicate thyself before me and listen well to my words…o-ow…! For goodness’ sake, let go of me!” 

“Who’s the one who needs to listen? I keep telling you, I’m a child of machines! You want me to rip these tits off?” 

Having her breasts relentlessly manhandled, the sedate, collected angel finally raises her voice. 

Swatting Alice’s hand aside, she rises from the ground. 

“I am the Seraph of Mercy and Bonds, El—” 

“Why’s the lamp on your head floating? You using some rare earth magnet? Also, you keep leaving behind a bunch of shimmering dander every time you flap your wings. You should take responsibility and clean that up.” 

Alice, could you please shut up already? 

…As Elwhatever is interrupted in the middle of her introduction, she retains her cool demeanor but begins quivering with rage. 

“I had only come to this doomed world on a whim. However…if you insist on committing this act of blasphemy upon a servant of the gods, you shall suffer the consequences… Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…let thy soul return to the gods… S-stop it!” 

Just as Elwhatever points her finger and begins to say something, Alice wields her vacuum, using the wand to catch one of the angel’s wings in the suction. 

“Could you knock it off already? Quit making me play along with your and Grimm’s idiotic role-playing.” 

“Stop…! S-stop it! Please stop using that on my wings! It takes over five hours to get them just so!” 

With her previous intimidating aura having vanished into thin air, Elwhatever tearfully tries to avoid Alice’s vacuum. 

“Hey, Grimm, you summoned that angel. Take responsibility already and do something.” 

“N-no way! Do you understand what that thing just tried to do to Alice? ‘Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…let thy soul return to the gods’… It was using an instant-death attack. I have no idea how Alice survived, but I’m NOT getting in the middle of that.” 

Wait, instant-death attack? That sounds really dangerous. 

But I have a fair idea as to why it didn’t work on Alice. 

It’s because she’s an android. 

“Stop it! Fine, I’ll leave! Leave my feathers alone! Please!” 

“I’m cleaning your dandruff-covered wings. Least you could do is thank me.” 

“This is just my divine aura overflowing as particles; it’s not dandruff! These are actually blessed items!” 

After having various parts of her poked at with a vacuum cleaner, Elwhatever’s wings are a mess, with feathers arrayed every which way. 

“I come in response to a fervent wish, and this is what I get?! …You there, the one who summoned me!” 

“E-eeep! Y-yesh?!” 

With her feathers in disarray, Elwhatever remains floating in the air, pointing an accusatory finger at Grimm. 

“Follower of Zenarith, I see that you went through the trouble of summoning me, the Seraph of Mercy and Bonds, only to subject me to this ridicule! If you so desire to be alone, then alone you shall be!” 

Elwhatever’s eyes shimmer brightly, bringing forth a mysterious aura overflowing with divine fury. 

“What? W-wait, no, wait, wait! I don’t want that! All I did was summon you! I didn’t do anything…!” 

As Grimm desperately tries to plead her case… 

“Prophet of Zenarith, Grimm Grimoire! Your name will be cursed! From this day forward, you shall only meet men with serious flaws! Enjoy!” 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” 

Hearing the details of Elwhatever’s curse, Grimm screams from the depths of her soul.