Prologue
“What the hell, Astaroth?! You totally lied to meeeeeee!!”
“L-look, I’m truly sorry about that incident. How about this? They just came out with a new volume of God’s Blessing on This Wacky World! I’ll go ahead and send it to you! You really love this series, don’t you? This one’s on us!”
On this particular day, I’m aggressively hounding the person on the line with me.
Who’s on the other end of this video chat, you ask? It’s Astaroth, of course! She’s one of the Supreme Leaders running the Kisaragi Corporation.
“Are you kidding me? So you think my life’s about as valuable as a volume of KonoSawa , is that it? That’s right, I heard directly from Alice. That hunk of junk you used to send me here has a fifty percent chance of failure. I’m getting my revenge for this if I ever make it back to Earth. Tell Lilith I’m going to grope her until she cries! As for you, Astaroth…if you sincerely regret lying to me, the least you could do is marry me and financially support me for the rest of my life! That should just about settle it.”
“S-silence! You’re the one who needs to get it together! Your reports are nothing but mindless drivel! And just what do you mean by ‘if you ever make it back to Earth’…?”
Astaroth snaps back at me, completely ignoring her own responsibility and holding up my latest report in accusation.
“I told you already! As branch manager, I can’t just abandon my precious subordinates…!”
“I’m told that kingdom is short on men due to war. Alice also tells me your squad is made up of pretty young women and girls…”
“And furthermore, we can’t let this so-called Demon Lord’s Army of backward nobodies get away with disrespecting me! Not I, the elite Combat Agent representing Kisaragi on this planet! Any insult to me is an insult to the Kisaragi Corporation! Right?”
On the screen Astaroth tilts her head, frowning.
“W-well, not exactly… It’s not like we chose you for this assignment because we thought you were strong or an elite agent or anything like that… We chose you because we figured you were the person most likely to stubbornly cling to life no matter the circumstances…”
“Ouch. You could have at least tried to flatter me. Sigh . Anyway! Reinforcements! We need more! The Demon Lord’s Army uses actual magic. It makes them really annoying to fight. Even if you can’t send a hundred Combat Agents, could you at least spare a couple more mutants?”
Including myself, there are currently ten Combat Agents assigned to this planet. Mutant warriors are as overpowered as they come, but we’ve only got one.
“We’d love to send you reinforcements…but we’ve got our own problems at the moment. The Heroes are staging a massive counteroffensive. We’re stretched so thin we’ve had to send Belial and Lilith off to the frontlines. Even with their help, the situation’s bad. If anything, we’d rather have you back here…”
Astaroth casts a hopeful gaze my way…
“I doubt an old fossil like me with outdated enhancements would be much help. Let me handle the situation here. I’m confident you’ll turn things around over there.”
“Didn’t you just say you were an elite Combat Agent…?”
Nope, no way. I’m not going anywhere near battlefields so dangerous that even having Belial or Lilith around won’t guarantee victory.
“In that case, we’ll leave that planet in your capable hands. We won’t be able to send you any more support under the current circumstances, so we’re relying on your wit and ingenuity.”
Seriously?
“…Could we at least get some more of the latest equipment? Even if you can’t spare the manpower, you could at least send us supplies, right…?”
“…Based on the reports you and Alice have filed, we have a decent grasp of the situation over there. From here on out, we’d like you to focus on invasion preparations rather than spying.”
Astaroth says this matter-of-factly while blatantly ignoring my request.
“Now wait just a goddamned minute! What happened to the whole ‘you have our full support’ thing? I feel like you’re not taking me seriously. You are aware that I can still make you cry from here, right?”
“Look, we’re barely scraping by over here. I know it’s only the two of us on the line, but don’t push your luck. And you ? Make me cry? Ha! You’re welcome to try.”
Astaroth snorts dismissively, a mocking smile on her lips.
“Well, if you insist! You wanna know what they call me now? The Fly! Sure, it’s a stupid nickname, but I promise there’s a good reason for it. Feast your eyes!”
“V-very well, Agent Six! Your next assignment is to gain more territory; we don’t care how you do it! You are to strengthen our presence on the planet and secure a beachhead for invasion! We look forward to your— I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay?! Would you pleeease put that thing away?!”
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