Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 1 - Chapter 5.1

CHAPTER 5 

 To Become a Hero 

1 

“…What did you say?” 

Bursting through the door, Snow clenches her hands into fists and casts her eyes downward. 

“A spy? Is that what you’ve been all this time?” 

…Oh, crap. She’s the last person in the world I needed to hear that. And it looks like she caught the whole conversation. 

Okay, let’s think. How the hell do I get out of this one? Should I just play dumb? 

I mean, I’m already supposed to have a head injury from battle. I don’t think I can keep any more of these stories straight. 

Oh, I know! This problem is best solved by acting pissed off myself! Of course! 

“Barging in without so much as a knock? What are you, an ape? What if I had been doing something private…? Were you hoping to walk in on me changing, Boobzilla?” 

“Really, Snow, you can’t take the words of a drunk so seriously. At this rate, you’ll end up getting conned by some random scumbag. That’s why Six is so good at…” 

Catching my intention, Alice starts to follow up but trails off as she notices Snow is still staring at the ground. Her whole body is trembling. 

“…It’s over, Six. Just give up.” 

Seriously? If I give up here, they’ll cut my head off for spying. I have no intention of losing my head without a struggle. I’ve gotta think of a way to convince Snow… 

“I won’t ask who you really are. Think of it as thanks for all you’ve done for us.” 

Snow clenches her jaw, tightening her grip until her knuckles go white. 

“I’m giving you one chance to leave quietly, so get out. I don’t want to see you ever again…” 

Snow speaks in a deflated whisper. She never once looks up from the floor. 

“Yippee, I’m first! I call this room! Whoo-hoo! This bed is huuuuuuuge!” 

“No fair, Six! Fine! The first- and second-floor bathrooms are mine.” 

Alice and I have rented a house to serve as a temporary base of operations. It’s a small house on the outskirts of town, but it’s pretty well suited to serving as a villain’s hideout. 

“Wh-what? You have no need for bathrooms! At least let me have the second-floor bathroom!” 

“I’ll consider giving you a bathroom if you hand over this room.” 

Alice and I explore the house, going through each room and claiming them. 

“This room’s right next to mine. Right, this’ll be Astaroth’s room. I’ll just go ahead and write her name on the door. If our rooms are nearby, I should be able to catch the occasional glimpse of her after a bath.” 

“…Right. Well, knock yourself out. Oh, Six, I almost forgot to mention. While you were off playing knight, I went ahead and completed resource and life-form surveys of the surrounding area.” 

Well, that explains where she’d been disappearing off to. I was wondering what she had been up to when I wasn’t watching her. Good thing, too, since I’d completely forgotten about that part of our assignment. 

“Huh. I guess you are pretty high spec after all.” 

“Thank you for that, ex-knight-captain-obvious. I should mention I’ve also made some local connections by selling a few new material and medicine recipes. All within reason, of course. I also made a little money doing commodity speculation using our funds. We’ve got a decent amount saved up.” 

Whoa, really? 

“Miss Alice, spare a coin or two for poor old Six? I went a little too far with my spending. The rent on this house cleaned me out.” 

“…You should have a little more shame instead of begging an android for money. Anyway, this took a little longer than expected, but we can start on the last stage of our mission.” 

Right, our final task on this planet. 

“…Yeah, good point. Is the basement a good place for the teleporter back to Earth?” 

“Yeah, if we spruce it up a bit, we can fit a small teleporter. Why don’t we have them start sending the pieces today?” 

It’s a really important task, but it feels a bit anticlimactic. 

Once the teleporter is assembled, we can call more Combat Agents in from Earth and start our invasion of this kingdom. 

Once there are enough of us, the Demon Lord’s Army won’t stand a chance. This planet will be crushed by a combination of the Kisaragi Corporation’s modern weaponry and sheer material resources. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, Six? You can tell me if something’s bothering you. I was designed to support you, after all. The least I can do is lend a listening ear if you need one.” 

Alice falls into the bed, all but her face being buried by the covers, and turns her head to face me. 

“…It’s nothing specific. I’m an operative for an evil organization. After everything I’ve done, it’d be weird if I had any hang-ups about this place. The moment I get back to Earth, I’m going to drink ice-cold beer until I pop. All the alcohol here is lukewarm, ugh. When I get home, I’m going to make the Supreme Leaders pay my bar tab. As for this backwater kingdom with no electricity or gas? I won’t miss it. With all the accolades I’ve earned here, I can be promoted right to the top!” 

As I think of the bright future waiting for me back on Earth, Alice seems to lose interest, turning to stare up at the ceiling. 

“…If you say so. Anyway, Six, I’m going to start on renovating the room and assembling the teleporter. Stay out of my way for the next month or so. Wander off for a bit and enjoy yourself.” 

…A month? 

“Wait, why do I have to wait that long? Surely it doesn’t take that long to put a teleporter together.” 

“…You really don’t listen, do you? I explained it to you when we first got here. It takes at least a month after assembly for the connection to Earth to stabilize.” 

Oh yeah, I vaguely remember an explanation of that sort. 

“…That leaves me with a lot of free time…” 

“Right. Which is why I want you to spend it somewhere else so you’re out of my way… That reminds me. It looks like the Demon Lord’s Army has been making some odd moves lately. The Chosen One or whatever has driven one of the Elite Four into a cavern. The other Elite Four are taking advantage of the Chosen One’s absence from the capital, and they’re gathering their forces. They’re probably plotting to take out the kingdom of Grace while the Chosen One’s busy elsewhere.” 

Where the hell does she get her information…? 

Hmm… The Demon Lord’s Army, huh…? 

“That’s what they get! Time for that bitch to regret driving me away! I mean, sure, the whole spying thing is entirely my fault, but given all the results we produced, the least she could do was hear me out!” 

“You do realize espionage is usually a capital offense, right? The fact that she didn’t bother asking any questions and simply kicked us out was probably her way of saying thanks. Anyway, if by chance, the Chosen One loses again, this kingdom’s coffers will take a serious hit… Are you okay with that?” 

Alice’s expression is flat, but I feel like she sees right through me. 

“…Wh-what are you talking about? I’m no Hero. I’m not bailing them out.” 

That’s right, I’m a Combat Agent for an evil organization. 

It’s completely against our philosophy to put myself at risk to help others with nothing to gain for myself. 

I suppose I might consider it if that bitch comes to me and begs for help. 

Putting aside that insolent brat, Rose and Grimm were my subordinates, too. 

But that’s not really enough reason to help them. 

I go silent for a while as I struggle with conflicting emotions. 

“Hey, Six…,” my partner, the high-spec evil android, says, turning to me. “The thought of a competitor getting in the way of your invasion target pisses you off, doesn’t it?” 

The supposedly emotionless android looks over at me with an impish grin.