Toradora! - Volume 5 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

“Well, it doesn’t really matter.”

As Taiga spat that out, she turned away. That’s not what I’d call honest. Ryuuji was surprised as he watched her profile.

The Takasu household’s table had gone back to its mother and son, two-person system. It had been that way for several nights. Over the days that followed, they progressed deeper into the fall season. That morning, the wind was pretty cold.

“Anyway…ahh, it’s cold…”

Her hair scattering as it was blown by the fall wind, Taiga closed her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. Ryuuji completely fastened his school jacket collar shut and thrust his hands into his pockets. The fallen leaves on the pavement were a bit more colorful than before. The rain that came around dawn had left them wet, and now they were plastered to the asphalt.

At the sweet smell of the damp leaves and the warmth of the sun that touched them for a moment when the wind died down, Ryuuji took a deep breath without realizing it. It would probably only be cold right then. In the afternoon, the sunlight, which still smelled faintly of summer, would definitely warm up the air.

Ryuuji dashed slightly to catch up to Taiga’s side. Their toes aligned as they took their steps, and their very differently sized shadows overlapped.

“When the wind dies down,” said Ryuuji, “it’s not that cold. Well, I get what you’re saying. So then, how are you planning on breaking the ice? This is Kawashima we’re dealing with, so she’s going to be difficult.”

“I’ve prepared some ‘bait.’ It’s something nice that’ll be a waste on the likes of Dimhuahua.”

Taiga held up a tote bag. Enshrined inside of it was a fashionably wrapped small box that she showed Ryuuji.

“Huh, is that dessert? From the restaurant you ate at yesterday?”

“Yeah. I thought I’d have her eat a ton of calories. It’s a famous restaurant, and Dimhuahua definitely likes stuff like that, right? I’ll give this to her and ask her for a ‘favor’…blech! Thinking about asking Dimhuahua for a favor is giving me the creeps again!”

“Well, well…hee hee…”

As he soothed Taiga, Ryuuji couldn’t hide the strange smile creeping onto his face. Taiga’s eyebrows went right up. She swung the tote bag, assaulting Ryuuji’s flat butt.

“Ow!”

“What are you giggling about?!” said Taiga. “That’s gross! Don’t you go around laughing unpleasantly like Dimhuahua, you flappy-eared mutt!”

“My ears aren’t flappy, and it’s not like I was laughing…hee hee…”

“You’re laughing!”

I can’t help it, he thought, can I? Taiga, who repeatedly said she didn’t care, was so dishonest with herself and so stubborn that he couldn’t help but be amused. Ryuuji giggled and grinned and covered his mouth with his hand. He avoided Taiga’s bag attack and quickly pulled ahead of her on the pavement of fragrant, fallen leaves.

“That’s enough!” Taiga clamored in a fit of anger. “You’re definitely laughing! You’re making me out to be an idiot! It’s not like I care about this or anything! That’s right, it doesn’t matter, what I’m asking from Dimhuahua is definitely too stupid. I’m not doing it, not anymore!”

In anger, Taiga passed by Ryuuji, and this time it was his turn to rush to catch up to Taiga.

“Wait a sec!” he said. “I’m not taking you for an idiot! Sorry, sorry, it was a joke! You have to stop being stubborn and make sure you ask Kawashima sometime today, because tomorrow is when everything happens.”

Taiga’s feet stopped in their tracks. She looked at Ryuuji with round eyes.

“Yeah, that’s right,” she groaned under her breath. “It’s already tomorrow…”

“Of course it is. Of course it’s tomorrow. I scared myself just saying that. That was quick. It’s already tomorrow.”

Yes, the cultural festival was drawing near and was already coming up on the next day. They had been practicing and preparing every day and, before they knew it, the time had arrived. They had a mountain of things to do. They needed to practice, make the scenes, make the props, and even make the costumes. Yes, they would even be setting up the most important part, the ring, after school that day.

“We don’t have time to spare anymore,” said Ryuuji. “You can’t say you don’t care. So tomorrow, show him what you got. Do it for your dad. To do that, you definitely need Kawashima’s help.”

“I just said I couldn’t care less…”

Taiga started walking again, her voice growing small. But Ryuuji understood well enough. When Taiga said she couldn’t care less, that was when she really couldn’t care more. Ryuuji really couldn’t care more, either. Ryuuji had definitively decided that he would support building the relationship between Taiga and her father, no matter what happened.

“How do I put this?” he said. “He’s trying to do his best with you, right? Your dad, I mean. Since then, he’s come to get you every night and taken you out to restaurants to eat. And he brings you back every night. And on top of that, he’s coming to see a boring public school’s cultural festival since you’ve become a high school student.”

“Like I said, that all doesn’t matter. It’s not like I plan on trusting him and forgetting everything that’s happened until now for something as small as that. Well…I just think I’ll humor him a little bit. Yesterday’s restaurant was pretty tasty, after all.”

Ryuuji just quietly looked at Taiga beside him. Taiga “humoring” her father was incredible progress compared to that kick in the family jewels the other day. That meant Taiga’s father’s effort was worthwhile. How great, he thought. He felt like applauding both father and daughter.

To think that petite old man had gone this far in order to earn Taiga’s trust back. Honestly, he admired the effort. Though he was a man with status in his job, he actually went out for dinner with his daughter every day without missing a single night. He had continued to prioritize his time with his daughter no matter what business he had.

On a certain night, when the road right in front of Taiga’s condo and the Takasu house was closed for construction, Taiga’s father had sent Ryuuji a message. Come and get Taiga where the road’s closed off, it said. Ah, I’m glad I asked for your contact details! The overprotective father, who couldn’t have his daughter walk alone ten meters in the dark street at night, wore an eye-catching and beautiful V-neck sweater. Taiga was next to him in a classic houndstooth dress. Her father raised his hands and laughed under the gloomy streetlights.

At his excessively wide smile, Ryuuji forgot the bother of having to come get Taiga and reflexively returned the smile. This old man really had charm. His daughter, however, looked grumpy and sullen. She presented him with a one-word shout:

“Late!”

Ryuuji was in danger of laughing to himself just remembering it. He stopped himself. He looked down at Taiga’s hair whorl again. It wasn’t like he had a hair whorl fetish, but at this height difference and distance, he could only see the crown of her head and the tip of her nose.

“Well,” he said, “basically, your old man is coming to the cultural festival Saturday, and then he’s staying over at your condo, right? It’s the first time he’s staying over, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s the first and last time. It’s depressing, so I didn’t want him staying. He has business here on Sunday morning, so he had to.”

Looking up at Ryuuji, Taiga pushed up her hair with a poker face.

“Business?”

“That’s right. On Sunday, a real estate agent is coming to assess the room.”

“Assess?” Like an idiot, he parroted her words back at her again. Even Inko-chan wouldn’t carry on such a stupid conversation. Ryuuji hadn’t even thought of that possibility, but now that she was telling him, it was obvious.

If she was going to live with her father again, Taiga had no reason to live in that condo alone. She had her dad’s house, which her bothersome mother-in-law planned to leave.

“B-but you don’t have to go out of your way to move, do you? It’s close to school and…can’t you just keep living there with your dad?”

He nonchalantly gave her his true opinion as he tried to somehow regain his dignity. However, under the surface, Ryuuji was pretty shaken.

“He said that place would be small for two people.”

“I…see.”

Was she really moving?

For a moment, a cold breeze spitefully licked at Ryuuji’s neck. Somehow, he pretended not to notice that chill and fortified his shaken spirit to right himself again.

“Hey, don’t kid around,” he said. “Just how many times larger do you think your living room alone is compared to my house?”

Making it out to be a joke, he prodded Taiga’s hair with the tip of his finger. He went into a defensive position for the Palmtop Tiger’s counterattack, which he knew would be coming.

“I don’t have good memories of my parents’ house and don’t want to go back, so I thought we could live together in that place,” she said, “but Pa—that guy immediately started looking for properties. He’s selfish. He said that he found a good place that’s a little bit away from here. It’s a house…and we went to look at it from outside on the way home from a meal, but it was fine. It was fine… I guess maybe it was nice.”

She ignored his question. She muttered as though she were talking to herself and quietly continued walking beside him. Basically, she was completely absentminded. She didn’t look at Ryuuji walking beside her right then. Her head was filled with other things.

The inside of Taiga’s small head was filled with her dad.

They went out to dinner together every night. She was willing to move in order to live with him. She wasn’t in a bad mood, either. It wasn’t just her father who was working hard. Taiga was putting in her all for the same goal. Taiga was working hard to trust the father she had once hated. She had heard that her father was coming to the cultural festival and was even willing to ask her mortal enemy, Ami, to switch with her for the “good role.”

This is a good thing, Ryuuji muttered at the bottom of his heart. He made the effort to form his mouth into the shape of a smile. It is a good thing.

“What? You’re definitely smiling.”

“I’m not smiling.”

“No, you’re grinning! That’s it, you stay there for thirty seconds! I’m going to go ahead with Minorin. You follow only when you can’t see us…huh? Minorin isn’t here. That’s unusual. I wonder if she’s running late.”

“What if we’re the late ones?”

“Huh? But it’s not like we overslept… No way?! We’re in trouble!”

She showed him her wristwatch, and Ryuuji practically jumped when he saw the minute hand further around than he had imagined it would be. This hadn’t been the time for them to take their time having a fun chat. They started running at top speed over the Zelkova tree-lined sidewalk that was colored with red and yellow fallen leaves. As they were running, Taiga slipped and fell. He somehow pulled her right back up. Would her father be able to watch out for her, as a klutz of the same kind?

Ryuuji, for some reason, looked up at the high, blue autumn skies.

“Ryuuuji! What’re you standing around for?! Well, if you’re going to give up and go slowly on your merry way, I guess all I can do is follow suit.”

“You idiot! We’re running!”

***

“If it pleases you, please have some.”

At that line of dialogue, Ami looked at the object that was being handed to her for several seconds without saying a word.

“No way,” she said. “What is that? Is it a dead animal or something?”

Ami, seeming to actually not want it, scrunched her willow leaf-shaped eyebrows. In the after-school classroom that seemed to shake from the commotion, the corner where the two of them were taking a break turned into an air pocket. Before they knew it, the atmosphere between them turned chilly—or rather, turned prickly. Taiga didn’t back down.

“Oh my, oh my, Dimhuahua. I wouldn’t give you something like that.”

She shrugged her shoulders, as though this were trivial, and continued to push the package at Ami with incredible patience. The package was the pretty bag and small, decorated box—it was what Taiga had called her “bait.” She pushed it into Ami’s chest. Even when Ami dodged her saying she didn’t want it, she chased after Ami.

“I’m saying I’m giving this to you. Hey, Dimhuahua.”

“It’s fine,” said Ami. “I don’t need it. If you’re giving me something, there’s definitely got to be something shady behind it.”

That was to be expected of Ami. The one with the darkest heart would be the most sensitive to others’ ploys. She was right, of course. Taiga really did have an ulterior motive. Ryuuji, who was watching from the side, groaned. Ami’s perceptiveness was amazing.

“There isn’t any,” said Taiga. “There isn’t any ulterior motive at all.”

She tried to trick Ami by waving her hand back and forth in front of her face. Like her father, she opened her eyes wide, filled them with her charm, and pursed her lips so they were small.

“I just thought I’d give it to you, Dimhuahua. I thought you’d definitely like something like this, Dimhuahua.”

“What?”

Like a regular girl, Taiga was speaking with a kind tone. Ami looked at Taiga like she’d transformed into a weird bug, but she at least stopped trying to get away. She turned and scrunched her face, seeming like she still didn’t actually want the package. However, she was poised to listen to what Taiga had to say. Ryuuji covertly cheered on Taiga. That’s right, go on the offense, right now’s your chance.

“It’s best if you don’t take everyone to be a black-hearted, two-faced personality who only does things for Machiavellian reasons like you, Dimhuahua.”

…Why? thought Ryuuji. Why couldn’t she go on without getting an unnecessary lick in? As expected, Ami’s beautiful face turned rose red from anger in an instant.

“I can’t…just stay quiet and listen to you…”

“Take it, won’t you, Kawashima.”

Without thinking, Ryuuji stuck himself between the two. Behind him, Taiga was wearing a strange, forced smile—in Ami’s eyes it probably only looked like she was plotting something. He injected vehemently, “It’s pretty nice. Anyway, take it, here. I can guarantee that you’ll like it when you see it.”

It wasn’t like flattery from the likes of Ryuuji would make it through to Ami.

“Huh? Takasu-kun,” she said, “this doesn’t even have anything to do with you.”

She shooed him away with a wave of her hand.

“Th-that’s true, but…”

“I definitely don’t need a present from a tiger.”

Finally, she turned her face away. Ryuuji and Taiga were already at a stalemate. Though doing so wasn’t helpful in that situation, the two of them inadvertently looked at each other.

In the after-school classroom, the tension suddenly rose from the in-fighting between the two beautiful girls and the boy with a yakuza face, but no one had the time to bat an eye at them. Everyone was too busy preparing for the next day’s cultural festival show. Here and there, they laughed and yelled and made a huge commotion. It was the climax of the pro-wrestling show’s practice run. Haruta put on the airs of a director with all the gymnastics club members. He cut off their somersaults as he judged them. “No! Again!” He was being a nuisance, and it felt like the day his loyal shadow corps would overthrow him wasn’t far out.

Even though it was growing dark outside the window, it wasn’t just class 2-C making a commotion. The class next door and the class over there—all of them were starting to do carpentry work or going this way and that while holding stepladders. Some of them were putting together mysterious maid uniforms. There was no sign of Kitamura. It seemed that he was running around the school preparing for the day of the festival. Somehow, it seemed it wasn’t only class 2-C that had taken the bait the student council had set. Aside from the college-bound third years, practically every class was going to participate in the exhibition this year.

Caught as they were in the middle of the maelstrom, Ryuuji unskillfully tried to change the situation for the better.

“I-I think you’ll find it’s delicious. Just try it, even a little bit. Okay?”

“It’s food~?”

That didn’t go in their favor. The leading role, who was on break, contorted her cute face and stared at the villain and the henchman.

“Isn’t that the scariest thing it could be? I don’t need anything like that.”

It seemed she was firm about not taking something being given to her by her natural enemy. Taiga’s usual behavior really could be terrible, but he hadn’t expected Ami’s distrust of her to run this deep. Still, he just had to keep doing what he could. Without giving up, Ryuuji kept acting as an intermediary.

“If you open it, you’ll get it. I think you’ll definitely like what it is. Take it, take it. Anyway, at least try opening the packaging. Here.”

At Ryuuji’s ardent suggestion, Ami distrustfully tilted her head, “What, are you shilling for a delivery company or something?” However, it seemed she was hesitant to drop the thing being pressed on her now that she knew it was edible. Finally, she unhappily took the small box with her pale hands. Then she twisted up her face and cautiously looked at the marks on the wrapping paper. Her eyes abruptly widened.

“Huh? No way! Wait, is this for real?!”

They had caught her.

Despite the fact that Taiga and Ryuuji were locking eyes with each other, Ami pulled off the wrapping paper and gently opened the box.

“Whoa. What is this? Isn’t this super amazing?”

With a voice three times lower than her normal tone, she oohed and ahhed. Inside the box was a pretty line of rainbow-colored macarons from a renowned French restaurant that was impossible to get a reservation for.

“My dad keeps dragging me to this place to eat out. The French restaurant we went to yesterday was pretty good, so I thought I’d buy this for you as a gift, Dimhuahua. I thought you’d like something like this.”

“With your dad? You had a meal? At this restaurant?”

As she looked at the macarons in enchantment, a black cloud seemed to suddenly spread over Ami’s gaze. Even her beautifully small chin started to steadily jut forward and get longer and longer.

“No way. What is this? None of my model friends have ever gotten inside, so how does a normal person’s old man get into that place… How did you get into that place, seriously? Hmph, I thought I’d been spotting pimples on your face lately, and it turns out you’ve been living it up?”

Before Ami’s glistening wet eyes, Taiga’s chin really did have one or two red pimples. They might have been from her feasting. Ami let more of her envy show as her nostrils flared in frustration.

“Your dad, huh… I was thinking, more or less, that your parents had gotten divorced and that you had to be super miserable living alone this year. Hmph. It seems you’re closer to him than expected.”

She was being incredibly rude with her remarks. They were the equivalent of stepping into another person’s family affairs with her shoes still on. If Taiga were her former self, she definitely would have made the planet rain with blood for seven days and seven nights. However, at that moment, Taiga was a tad different from before. No matter what Ami said, she had room to accept it. Her heart was fat and heavy after having been satisfied by the upscale French restaurant. To this queen of a tiger, a teeny Chihuahua attack was probably nothing more than a mosquito bite.

“We are close. How unfortunate for you.”

Putting on a smile, Taiga and her pimples gracefully brushed off the attack. Ryuuji was in awe. Taiga, in her own way, had taken in that burning aggression and pettiness without retaliating.

This is a good thing. He nodded deeply to himself. Yes, it’s a good thing—a good thing. Definitely.

“Dimhuahua, try eating that.”

“Huh? Right here and now? Why? I don’t want to. My mouth would get all dry. It irritates me, but the macarons haven’t done any wrong, so I’ll gladly take them home. I’ll make tea at home and eat them right up. But, damn it, to think a normal person and a spoiled brat would get there before me… I was thinking next weekend…”

“Just try eating it! Hurry up and try them, try them right now!”

“No way, you’re so insistent, what’s up with you?!”

“Eat it!”

Like a child, Taiga stubbornly wailed and then started climbing onto Ami. She took tight hold of the tracksuit Ami was wearing and stepped all over Ami’s butt with her indoor slippers.

“Wait, stop, don’t pull on my tracksuit! It’ll stretch out! Actually, don’t get on me with slippers you’ve used in the bathroom! Argh, you’re such a nuisance! I’ll eat it, okay, look!”

Seeming to give in to Taiga, who she couldn’t brush off, Ami threw a single macaron into her mouth. Taiga, who was hanging on like a monkey, quickly muttered, “You ate it…”

Then she jumped onto the floor and kept her distance. She watched intently until Ami swallowed. Ami clapped her pale hands together.

“There, I ate it, I ate it, it was great, delicious! There, get away from me! Shoo, shoo! Sometimes you’re kind of super sticky and troublesome.”

“You ate it! Now listen up!”

“There it is! That’s scary! …Cough!”

Immediately, the dregs of the macaron got caught in her throat. She coughed for a while and pointed at Taiga with tears in her eyes.

“What’s with you?! Isn’t that the worst?! Hey, hey Takasu-kun, did you hear that just now?! You said it was a gift, but in the end that’s the kind of girl you are, aren’t you?!”

Regardless of what she said to him, Ryuuji was also an accomplice, so he could only ambiguously smile. He noncommittally moved his head around and could only avert his gaze from Ami’s as the corner of her beautiful eyes went up. Taiga, however, slipped up next to Ami.

“You took the treat, so tomorrow for the cultural festival pro-wrestling show, even if it’s just once, I want to switch roles. I want to be in a good role. I don’t want to be the villain.”

Taiga had said it. She’d thrown her embarrassment, dignity, and spirit to the winds and asked Ami.

“Huuuh? Why?”

Her mouth became chubby and cat-like. It seemed she was now bashful and embarrassed. Taiga latched onto Ami’s tracksuit sleeve. She put her weight on the sleeve as she pulled and positioned herself as though she were yacht sailing.

“Tomorrow, my dad said he’s coming to see the cultural festival. But I couldn’t tell him that I was forced into the villain’s role…and when I said it was a role with a lot of lines, he got it into his head that it was like a play and that I had, like…the leading role…so, he said he definitely had to come see it… Even I know that this super sad excuse of a pro-wrestling show that the long-haired idiot thought up is crap! There’s nothing we can do about that! It doesn’t matter; if he’s coming, he’s coming! So I want to show him something good, even if it’s just with the role! I don’t want him to say that he’s not going to see it!”

“Hmmmm,” said Ami.

Based on Ami’s eyes, it didn’t seem like her heart had been moved. They coldly glistened as she looked down on Taiga. She even grabbed her sleeve and sharply pulled it back. Her lips contorted as though to say something spiteful, but she held back her words. She thought for a bit and slowly traced her mouth with her fingertips. What she muttered in a small voice was, “I see. ♥”

“Did your old man also say he’d see the Miss Festival pageant?” she went on. “Did you tell him you were in it?”

“Yeah…I told him. I didn’t want to, but it slipped out…”

Ami spent a moment thinking, and then as though she had come up with a fiendishly good joke, she smiled and narrowed her eyes.

“Okay, listen up!” she said. “That’s a guarantee that you can’t run away from the Miss Festival pageant. If our class were to boycott the contest at the last moment, that would look bad for me as the emcee. Yeah, it’s fine. If your old man comes, I’ll trade roles with you, but only then. Well, sometimes even I might want the villainous role, since I’m always Ami-chan, the heroine. I’ll do a great job tricking everyone. This is you we’re talking about, so you’d be too embarrassed to tell anyone you’re doing this because of your completely obvious daddy issues.”

“Who has daddy iss—”

“Now, now. ♥”

Ami nestled up to Taiga and bent down to look at her. She made her voice strangely sickeningly sweet.

“Hey, hey, actually, what kind of work does your father do? The way you talk about him, he completely reeks of being, like, a celebrity or something. In exchange for exchanging roles, could you make sure to tell him that your friend who’s emceeing the Miss Festival pageant works as a model? And that she’s really cute but also super polite and such a nice girl? And also, like, could you tell him if he hears anything juicy to make sure and let Ami-chan know? Well, even if it didn’t get me a job, then, for example, a connection to get into that restaurant would be more than good enough. It seems like he reeks of having connections.”

“Uwah,” said Taiga, “what a despicable girl…”

“What?! I said I’d hear you out, and that’s what you have to say?!”

It seemed they had finally finished talking.

It seemed Ami and Taiga had pretty much gone past formal niceties and, in the end, started to chase each other around the classroom as they barked at each other. Ryuuji watched them, half astonished.

“I’ll make sure you introduce me to your old man! Got it?!”

It happened as Ami’s voice reached peak pitch.

“Taiga’s dad? What happened?”

As she polished the bald cap for the next day, Minori quietly stepped in next to Ryuuji. She talked to me! thought Ryuuji. He was at risk of jumping like an overjoyed puppy but restrained himself. He tried to make his expression as indifferent as possible. Though he thought it was odd that she didn’t know anything, he explained the situation.

“Her dad’s coming to see the cultural festival tomorrow. Kawashima heard that and seems to be making a big deal out of it, trying to get introduced to him. I don’t know what she’s expecting, though.”

“…”

In that moment, Minori clamped her mouth shut. Her eyes went wide and glistened. She didn’t even breathe as she watched Ryuuji dead-on. The round outline of her cheek dimpled as she braced her jaw. How cute, Ryuuji thought, entirely captivated by her round face.

“Wh-what’s wrong?”

After a while, he finally realized what was happening. Minori had been robbed of her next words as though she had heard something incredibly unexpected. Her face was stiff, as though she had frozen over. Minori, the super positive sunshine child who always reacted cheerfully no matter what the situation, was frozen over. Had he really said something that strange?

“Why…why?”

Finally, words came out of Minori’s mouth, but her voice was fluttery and didn’t seem grounded.

“Why? Well that’s—”

As he faced her, Ryuuji unintentionally cut himself off, too. What in the world happened? What could I have done wrong?

Minori suddenly and quickly looked around. Without drawing attention to herself, she turned her back to Taiga, who grappled with Ami. Then she positioned herself so she was cornering Ryuuji against the wall.

“Why? Hey, tell me,” she inquired. There was no trace of a smile on her face. Her features were hard. She frowned sternly and pursed her lips. Ryuuji had never seen Minori with an expression like this before. He hadn’t even imagined her making a face like this. Her bright smile, her silly strange faces, the momentary face of a troubled girl—those were the faces Ryuuji knew.

“Don’t be silent, tell me. Please. What’s Taiga’s dad planning on doing this time?”

“What’s he planning on doing? Like I said, he’s coming to the cultural festival.”

“I’m asking why he’s doing that!”

Ryuuji was surprised as her voice suddenly almost jumped into a shriek. It seemed to surprise Minori, too. She immediately shut her mouth. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, apparently trying to calm herself down. Then Minori opened her eyes again, took a delicate breath, and exhaled slowly. Ryuuji finally understood.

Minori was angry.

The moment he understood, doubt ran through his mind like a lightning bolt. Why had Minori suddenly become angry? Wasn’t her anger too irrational, too baffling, and too swift? He didn’t understand it at all.

Minori faced Ryuuji as he was silent and spoke quickly in a voice that was wrapped in impatience.

“Hey, tell me. I’m asking you why. Takasu-kun, if you know, tell me. What’s happening in Taiga’s personal life? Why is her dad coming into this?”

Her detached words fired at him like the automated voice of a robot. For some reason, her unusually fast words seemed to echo with blame directed towards Ryuuji. He didn’t understand why she was blaming him. It wasn’t as though he could ignore her, so he told her the facts as calmly as possible.

“Taiga’s going to be living with her dad,” he said. “You’ve probably known her situation up until now, right? I think he’s been trying to fix their relationship recently.”

For a moment, Minori was speechless.

He could see that she had sucked a deep breath in by how her shirt and the tracksuit she wore over it rose. The color in her face vanished before Ryuuji’s eyes. She was at such a loss, her lips trembled. She couldn’t even exhale the air she had breathed in through her half-open lips. She wasn’t holding her breath like Yasuko would when she was being petulant. It seemed like something much larger was happening.

“Are you okay? Hey, what’s wrong? There’s definitely something the matter with you.”

Though he was hesitant, he gently reached his hand to her shoulder. Keep it together, he thought as he tried to grasp her.

“What is this…”

Minori’s eyes were no longer locked on Ryuuji. Swaying, she pushed away Ryuuji’s hand and chewed on her short-trimmed nails.

The bald cap still dangled from her other hand.

“What is this? Don’t joke about that.”

Her mouth contorted as she once again spat that out. He didn’t know to whom those words were addressed. Then Minori turned around in front of Ryuuji’s eyes, took a step, and tried to walk towards Taiga.

“Wait!”

He had unintentionally grabbed her hand to stop her. The heat of love was nonexistent in that touch. Minori’s eyes were still dimly lit with something that looked like hostility as she turned around.

“Let go, Takasu-kun.”

“Where are you going? What are you going to do? You weren’t acting normal just now. Calm down a little. Please.”

“The one who’s not acting normal is Taiga.”

What? It was Ryuuji’s turn to hold his tongue.

“There’s something wrong with Taiga. I need to open her eyes. I have to tell her that she can’t believe in a dad like that.”

“Wha—”

The hair on Ryuuji’s whole body stood on end from shock. Goosebumps rose on his skin and, this time, he was repeating to himself over and over again, Calm down, calm down.

“Why are you saying that? Aren’t you supposed to be Taiga’s best friend? Why are you saying something so terrible… Why aren’t you happy for her?”

“Happy? Me? Why would I be? With Taiga’s dad appearing at a time like this. And Taiga is even believing in what he says. What are you saying I should be happy about? I could never stand back and smile while my friend gets hurt. Not me.”

In other words, he thought, you mean that I’m smiling as I watch Taiga get hurt? He felt like it was a miracle he was able to swallow back the impulse that ran through his body. This is Kushieda Minori, the girl I like, he recited in his heart like a spell. Somehow, he kept his voice composed.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting? Taiga’s dad is really ordinary, but he loves his daughter way more than a normal person. He’s a good and decent guy. He definitely made mistakes, but he also got hurt. He’s trying his hardest to make up for those failures now. Taiga’s also trying hard. Don’t say stuff like that when you’re just watching from the sidelines. You don’t even know anything.”

Minori didn’t try to consider any of his thoughts at all. She didn’t try to cooperate with Ryuuji as he breathed deeply in order to calm himself. She twisted up her lips, narrowed her eyes, and spoke vehemently as though she were placing blame on him.

“Takasu-kun, you met with Taiga’s dad? So you met him. You met him and then…I see. That’s it. So you were the one who lit the fire under Taiga. Takasu-kun, when you met Taiga’s dad, were both of your eyes actually open? Did you really have them open?”

“What? I don’t get what you’re trying to say. Of course I had them open.”

“All right, fine. I got it. There’s no use talking to you.”

“What did you just say?!”

The more he tried to keep his voice controlled, the lower and hoarser it went. His voice barely came out.

“Don’t talk like you know anything! Why are you, of all people, not happy for Taiga?! Open your own eyes and actually take a look at the situation!”

He had believed. He had believed Minori, this girl who was like the sun, would have wished more straightforwardly for Taiga’s happiness than anyone. He believed she would have given her blessing to Taiga and her dad the most readily. He believed she would have been happier than anyone at the revival of Taiga’s family. She should have been with him watching Taiga and smiling, knowing that this was the best thing that could have happened.

The wound of her betrayal was as deep as the trust he had had in her. It was so deep, even he couldn’t comprehend how far it went. The more he looked into it, the more his head filled with blood.

“I don’t believe it,” she said. “I don’t believe Taiga’s dad.”

“Are you the one who gets to decide whether or not to believe him?! That should be Taiga!”

“That’s why I’m going to tell Taiga right now! I’m going to tell her not to believe in whatever he says!”

“Don’t do anything uncalled for!”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with you, Takasu-kun!”

“It has even less to do with you!”

What an overbearing person—why is she saying this stuff? he thought.

With eyes that seemed to glow, Ryuuji glared at Minori. Minori, though, wasn’t the type of girl to back down at that. As they glared at each other and their shoulders heaved, the people around them finally started to notice their fighting.

“Kushieda? What’s wrong? You seem kind of…”

“Was Takasu the one shouting just now…?”

In the middle of the commotion, Taiga spun around. It seemed she had just noticed their argument. With surprise in her eyes and her mouth half open, she looked at Ryuuji and Minori. Then, looking frantic, Taiga ran over.

“Ryu…Ryuuji!”

“Minorin!”

She had an expression on that he had never seen before. She was anxiously looking into their faces but trying her hardest to smile. It was as though she were trying to wipe everything clean by treating it all as a joke.

“Now, shake hands!”

She stuck herself between them and grabbed their wrists with her hands. Then she tried to force them to shake hands. Ryuuji firmly clenched his fingers together and prevented the handshake. His hand rammed right into Minori’s knuckles and reflexively brushed aside Taiga’s hand. He glared at Minori. Minori’s eyes were no longer looking at Ryuuji’s and were only pointed down to her slippers.

He didn’t turn around to see what happened after that. No matter what anyone else was saying, no matter what kind of expression Minori had on her face, no matter what was happening, he didn’t look back to check. Who cares about any of it? he thought.

His mind filled with static. The inside of his brain had practically whited out as Ryuuji left the classroom and all of it behind as fast as he could.

***

Those who didn’t know Ryuuji would call him a delinquent, or a thug, or a criminal with a record.

Those who knew Ryuuji well would say he was a kindhearted guy. They’d say that he was nice and scrupulous and like a mom, which was strange for a high school student.

He was probably born with that personality. There was also the argument that he had become that way because he was raised by that laid-back scatterbrain Yasuko. As soon as he became self-aware of the world, he took on the role of son-slash-full-time-housewife-slash-Yasuko’s-guardian. He had to be better and more self-reliant than other kids. He had to hold back any childish indulgences and discontent, and take things in stride.

In other words, Yasuko had brought Ryuuji up so he became a kid who would keep his complaints to himself, and go through the days taking things for what they were. Ryuuji had to face any day-to-day situation with a heart as flexible as a willow tree. If he didn’t, the Takasu household and the two’s somewhat vague parental relationship wouldn’t exist as peacefully as it did now.

The gangster face Ryuuji had inherited from his old man through some twist of fate had also spurred on his gentle personality. That was a fact.

Even if he didn’t do anything, people would get it into their head that Ryuuji was exactly what he looked like—a violent hooligan. They’d get scared and nervous, and then they’d say terrible things about him. Believing they were justified, people would exclude Ryuuji from their circles. After encountering that time and time again, Ryuuji came upon a realization. He realized that he had to be kinder and more honest than others. No matter what happened, he couldn’t blame others, and he couldn’t sulk. If he lived as straightforwardly as he could, someone would eventually understand. Those people would become his friends. As long as he had friends that understood, they would help him if something happened. Ryuuji really was a good person and, no matter what happened, they would know that.

So until that day, Ryuuji knew that no matter what happened, in the end, he would be the one to suffer the most from showing his anger or frustration. He did his best not to show those emotions on his face. At least, he hadn’t until now.

“I wanna die.”

Is this my punishment?

Feeling like Thanatos, he sat in the fifty-centimeter gap between the juice vending machines on the landing of the vacant staircase. He held six ice-cold coffees in his hands. Incidentally, the temperature at that moment couldn’t have been higher than ten degrees Celsius. His fingers felt like they were being torn to pieces from holding the cold aluminum.

In the midst of his frustration, Ryuuji had done the one thing he shouldn’t have. He kicked one of the faultless vending machines as hard as he could. The name of the move: venting his anger. The results: a dent in the vending machine’s frame and cold coffees scattered at Ryuuji’s feet as though the machine had thrown them up.

He probably could have left the cold cans on the ground, but his body had hardened up, and he couldn’t move even a single fingertip. He felt like punishing himself, so he remained like that, even when he lost feeling in his hands.

Minori’s wrong, he thought.

But I also yelled at her.

If he could only go back in time, then he probably could fix everything, but he couldn’t. He definitely couldn’t reverse time. So now he just wanted to die.

He no longer knew how many minutes he had been sitting there like that. The area around him fell into silence and he didn’t feel the passage of time. Ryuuji couldn’t think properly. He didn’t want to look back at what had just happened.

If he just died right here as he was, then maybe Minori would cry for him a little.

“You. I-di-ot.”

Suddenly a voice gently tickled Ryuuji’s ears.

“Lay off,” he said.

Even without looking, he knew the identity of the person who had appeared from the sweet smell of her wafting perfume and her elegant gait.

“That gap is my gap, though.”

She folded her arms. Her long eyelashes dropped a shadow over her starry eyes as they closed. With a pale smile on her lips, Ami stood right above him, looking down at Ryuuji where he crouched.

“Who decided that?” he said.

“Me. Look, move, out of the way. Get up.”

She grasped Ryuuji’s ice-cold hands with her fingertips, which were so thin it seemed as though her bones could show through. Her touch was soft, and she made no indication she would give him any more trouble, but her grip was firm and strong as she pulled Ryuuji from the gap between the vending machines. Then, Ami slipped into the open gap and sat down.

“See. This is exactly Ami-chan-sized. This is definitely my gap.”

She snorted proudly through her nose. Because he couldn’t do anything else, Ryuuji sat cross-legged in front of her. Oddly, in that moment, he didn’t feel that uncomfortable around Ami’s haughty eyes or even her spiteful smile. No matter how depressed he looked, this girl wouldn’t console him at all. Just knowing that might have made him feel better. He didn’t have to worry that she would tiptoe around him, and he didn’t need to tiptoe around her. He could lay on the depression as thick as he wanted.

“What happened to Kushieda?”

“What’s with all this coffee? I don’t really like canned coffee much, but oh well. Minori-chan went home.”

“Seriously? Ugh…”

He held his knees and pressed his face into them. Ahh, this is the end. Ryuuji knew the meaning of the word despair. He had no hopes. There was no tomorrow. There was no future.

“You reap what you sow, right? Well, you really did it yelling at the girl you’re crushing on like that.”

Ami pulled on the can’s tab. At the words she said, Ryuuji faltered without thinking.

“That was Kushieda’s fault! This happened because what she said was horrible!”

“Hmmm? Well, I dunno what you were fighting about, but you normally don’t get in fights, right? Especially with a girl. And especially with the girl you like.”

“You’ve sure got a lot to say… It doesn’t matter anymore. Kushieda doesn’t matter. I’m actually, seriously mad. I can’t believe her. That was the worst. It’s like I saw her true self. I didn’t think she was the kind of person who could say stuff like that.”

He knew what he was saying was petulant. He knew that he was being childish, but he couldn’t take back the words he had already said.

“Waah, shut up. Could you keep that lame gossip out of my ears? It’s not like I’m kind enough to sympathize with something like that or like I’d console you.”

“Right, yeah.”

Ami’s eyebrows sprung up as though she were surprised. She indifferently brought the can of coffee to her mouth. Without saying anything, Ryuuji watched Ami’s throat for a while.

“Hey. Could you bring my bag over here? Then I can just go home.” With nothing left to lose, he tried being petulant again.

“No waaay.”

Her spiteful look and the contemptuous way she answered were within his expectations.

“I’m going to take a break for a little bit longer and then I’m going back. Can’t you just come back with me to the classroom?”

“That’s impossible. Everyone was so excited, and I ruined the mood…”

“About that. I think that’s okay now. I covered for you. I told everyone it’d be best to leave the two of you alone for now, so they went on practicing like normal.”

“You covered for me? You of all people?”

“I can do that much. Well, that teenybopper Palmtop Tiger was the only one who was anxious. All her hair was standing on end. She was menacing everyone around her.”

“She didn’t go home with Kushieda?”

“She tried running out to follow her, but then she slipped and fell. She got left behind. She scraped her knee and was starting to cry, so Nanako took her to the nurse’s office. She should be getting back to the classroom around now.”

The whole scene seemed completely plausible as it played out before his eyes. Ryuuji sighed. Whose fault was it that things had become like this? The voice shouting, It was Minori and the sinking voice saying, Maybe it was me echoed like surround sound in his head.

But, regardless of that, he couldn’t forgive what Minori had said. He couldn’t understand it. He had prayed to go back in time, but even if he did, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to agree with her. No matter how many times he returned to that time, no matter how many times he repented, no matter how many times he tasted this despair, Ryuuji might not have been able to keep himself from trying to change what he considered to be her obnoxious viewpoint. This is a good thing, so be happy, he’d tell her.

“Let’s cut this break short soon and get back to the classroom.”

Finishing up the coffee, Ami threw the empty can into the garbage in a single shot. She pumped her fist.

“Hey. Let’s go. It’s going to be okay.”

Almost as though she were one of the guys, she grabbed Ryuuji’s school jacket and stood him up. Then she grasped his shoulder a little roughly, as though she were bumping into him. Because their heights weren’t very different, Ami’s beautiful face was in close vicinity to his. Even in a time like his, her beautiful double-lidded eyes couldn’t help but steal his gaze.

“As long as you’re with me, you can go back, right? It’ll be fine if you act like nothing happened.”

For some reason, the teasing look that was usually in her eyes was absent. The indecipherable allure she had, which he normally didn’t know whether to interpret as her seducing him or toying with him, completely eluded him.

She was simply looking at him with genuine friendliness and trying to cheer him up. That was probably because, at that moment, Ryuuji really was down on his luck.

“You really have changed,” he said. “Like, actually.”

He was thankful. That was what was running through his mind.

“Is that what you think?”

“You went ahead and matured before everybody else.”

Hmph. Ami looked away. She didn’t turn towards Ryuuji but instead in the opposite direction where they needed to go forward.

“I was mature way before you. But, well, I might have changed in some ways. I’ve been thinking a little. There were times when I thought, I want to change, I really want to change. I wanted to change a lot of different parts of myself.”

As she said that, he felt very slightly like there was still something in her profile that was hesitating and that she was hiding.

“I want to change, too. What should we do? What do you think, Kawashima?”

“Don’t depend on me. Think for yourself.”

When she turned around, her familiar spiteful smile was plastered to her face.

“I’m not going to cling to you like that Palmtop Tiger, Takasu-kun. I won’t become that radiant sunshine Minori-chan is to you, either. I, Kawashima Ami, will walk on the same path, at the same level as you, but just a little further ahead. Now, let’s get back to the classroom. We have to practice. Tomorrow is our exciting cultural festival. The show is about to go live.”

Turning on her heel, Ami started walking in front of him. Ryuuji looked at his own feet for a while and then finally raised his eyes to watch her back.

In the deserted corner, someone had left behind six hundred yen wrapped in tissue inside the change slot of the middle vending machine. It was accompanied by a sticky note that read I broke it, I’m sorry, along with the culprit’s class and name.