Slayers - Volume 1 - Chapter Aft

Afterword

Hello there, first-timers! And a fine welcome back to our regular readers! This is the reprinting of the Slayers novels! Now, you newcomers might be wondering, “Who is this beautiful blonde writing the afterword?” So allow me to introduce myself! I’m stealing— I mean, filling in for the author, the poor clumsy sap who’s always getting knocked out and locked away and beaten up! You can call me L. Yes, I know there’s another famous character with that name, but I try not to let that bother me!

Incidentally, you’ll be seeing more of me in much later novels. I have a cameo in this one, but it’s so small! How frustrating!

I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach these afterwords, knowing both veterans of the series and newcomers alike would be reading them... So let’s say that if a joke is funny, it was all my doing! And if it bombs, it was the author’s fault! How do you like that?

Some of you who are reading this for the first time might fondly be recalling watching Slayers on TV as a child, but these books are how the story was first told about twenty years ago. The author himself is pretty old now too, though I, of course, am eternally 1*! Feel free to put whatever number you want in place of the *.

Hold it! You there thinking, “My preferred age isn’t 1*, but *!” I want you to jot that down in a letter addressed to the editorial department so they can report you to the appropriate authorities! Yes, yes, I know I’m frequently drawn to look childish on the New Year’s cards the author sends in response to fan letters... but that’s just because he’s a terrible artist.

All that aside, of course, we owe the longevity of this series to all of you. The author is also extremely grateful, and he would tell you that himself if he weren’t currently locked in some warehouse at the Port of Osaka.

Now, on a different note! As I’m explaining this Slayers business to you, I’m also traveling the world, eating and drinking all kinds of wonderful things. I’ve gone east for noodles at Tenzaru, and west for yakiniku so tender you can cut the meat with chopsticks. If you ask me, I think my gourmet adventures would make for a much more entertaining story than this!

......

Ah! Now that I think about it, these stories are basically gourmet adventures... just with a protagonist who’s not me! Grr! You win this round, author!

The author originally wrote the first volume of this series to submit for the Fujimi Fantasia Bunko awards, and it was luckily turned into a series! If you ask me, he used up three-quarters of his life’s supply of luck on that. The flip side is that he has utterly rotten luck when it comes to cards and board games! He always takes last place in the Game of Life, only rolling sixes once in a blue moon! I know what you’re thinking: every die has a one-in-six odds of rolling a six, right? Except we’re talking the author’s luck here—not probability.

Anyway, since this was originally written as a one-off and evolved into a series, there are some inconsistencies in the various stories to follow. I’ve heard rumors that this new printing might fix a few things here and there, but I don’t really know and don’t especially care. It’s not as if the author’s going to give me more screentime. Of course, if you ask me, if you’re going to do reprints, you might as well improve the story while you’re at it!

You could give me so many more appearances! Example: Summary of Slayers, volume 2: The Sorcerers of Atlas (Reimagined)!

Lina and Gourry arrive in Atlas City. But nobody cares, so on the writer’s tab, I get myself 10,000-yen sukiyaki from Shinsaibashi in Osaka. The big meanie of an author realizes this, and immediately sends assassins to interrupt my lunch! L is in peril! Fight, L!

In the end, while giving evil assassins the slip, I use my sukiyaki pot to turn the tables on them and convince them to treat me to even more food as an apology. Can I enjoy a night out in western Japan to the fullest?! What is the curse of the C*lonel S*nders statue sealed deep away in Dotonbori?! Are there any nice spas around where I can really get some R&R?!

Catch it all next time in Slayers, volume 2: The Sorcerers of Atlas. What is it that haunts the entertainment district at night? Is it blood... or the check?!

You feel me? I wanna read that so bad! I’m sure you do now too, so please send lots of letters to the author saying, “Do whatever the afterword lady says or die!”

What’s that, you ask? What happens to Lina and Gourry? Who...? Oh, don’t worry your pretty little heads about that!

Anyway, look forward to more of me in the afterword of the next volume!

Afterword: Over.