Slayers - Volume 2 - Chapter 1

1: How About Not Taking Every Job That Falls Into Our Laps?

The tavern was a war zone.

Hey, I see you over there, leaping to conclusions. This one wasn’t my fault, okay?

It was like a scene straight out of hell, though. Punching, kicking, biting. Overturned tables. Food flying everywhere—some still on the plate.

What a tragic waste...

See, we were in this little joint here in Atlas City, and while the dining wasn’t bad, the diners were bottom-of-the-barrel. Seriously. Mercenaries, punks, and lowlifes, the lot of ’em. There are certain places that just draw those kinds of people naturally, and this was apparently one of them. The melee had become self-sustaining at this point, and didn’t seem like it would be winding down any time soon.

Ah, there’s another one down.

Oh, and so you don’t go getting the wrong idea, I’m not any of those things I just said. I’m no mercenary, I ain’t no punk, and I’m certainly not a lowlife. I just wanted some good food. This place gets rave reviews, and a brawl just so happened to break out while I was there. I was under no obligation to participate. I’m a pacifist, see? So, like any good pacifist, I was crouching under a table in a corner, munching on some chicken and watching the show.

How’d this all get started, you ask? Well, it was the silliest little thing. See...

“Hey. You on your own, babe?”

The guy making a pass at me chose to do it while I was sitting at the counter, polishing off my fourth bowl of noodle soup. He was a redhead and not especially good-looking, though I guess he wasn’t without his charm. I pegged the bastard sword on his back as his weapon of choice, and his outfit consisted of a rough-hewn tunic, pants, boots, and leather armor. Basically your typical mercenary type.

I gave the guy a once-over, then turned back to my now-empty bowl.

“I’ve got a companion. I’ll try the chicken sauté next, if you please,” I responded flippantly as I put in my next order with the cook.

The man let out a whistle, then tutted at me with a wag of his finger. I guess he thought it made him look cool.

“Hey, don’t be an ice queen. If this companion of yours is leavin’ a charmer like you on her own, he ain’t much for me to worry about, is he?” he said, brazenly putting a hand on my shoulder.

I wasn’t gonna object to the “charmer” part (I am extremely charming, obviously), but if I humored every guy who laid a line like that on me, I wouldn’t last a month.

“So, what’s your name?”

“...”

“I’m Lantz.”

“...”

“C’mon, say somethin’.”

Brush.

I felt a strange sensation on my backside. Wait, did he just cop a damned feel?! My hand moved before I knew it, snatching a nearby tray from the counter and slamming it down on his head. I was expecting a proper “thunk,” but instead I got...

Crack!

Huh, that was louder than I expected... Oh, crap, I nailed him with the corner of the tray! But this was legitimate self-defense! I swear! I mean... wasn’t it?

“Blarghragh!” Lantz let out an overdramatic scream, reeled around in an exaggerated fashion, and crashed into a nearby table.

Of course, there were people sitting at that table.

“Hey! The hell’re you doin’?!”

One of them shoved Lantz hard, sending him flying... right into another table. Naturally, the same kind of ruckus repeated itself there.

And soon enough, the whole place had broken out into a brawl.

See? When you break it down step-by-step, this Lantz guy was really the one who started it! I was an innocent victim of circumstance! Don’t you agree?!

“Say, Lina, why is the person who started all this hiding down here?”

A familiar voice abruptly interrupted my thoughts, and I turned to see a good-looking blond guy wearing a black breastplate and a longsword. He was crouched down next to the table, peering at me suspiciously. This was my aforementioned (recently-acquired) traveling companion, Gourry.

“The person who started all this? What’re you talkin’ about?” I asked as I took a bite of some fried fish.

Gourry promptly reached for some of the on-the-bone meat I’d been saving on my plate and took a bite himself.

“I’m talking about you. You knocked that guy out with the corner of a tray, didn’t you?”

“You saw that?!”

“As I was coming back from the washroom.”

“Hey, I was the victim! He started hitting on me, and then he touched my freakin’ butt! My butt! And without even paying!”

“...You let people pay for that?”

“That’s not what I’m saying!”

“Do you even know what you are saying?”

“Of course not!”

“Look...” Gourry sighed, putting his fingers to his temples. “You could’ve shown a little restraint. That way, I could’ve laid him out later in a more discreet manner.”

I glared at him.

“There are times you absolutely should not show restraint, not even for a second! You only talk so high and mighty about it because you’ve never had your butt fondled by some weirdo jerk!”

“Well, I suppose that is true...” Gourry scratched his head, looking troubled for a moment before turning his attention back to the intensifying brawl. “Still, you can’t just let this go on.”

“What? You think my involvement would deescalate things?”

I mean, it’s true that rushing out there with a Fireball would give everyone something bigger to worry about... But I had one small reservation about that plan: I came here to eat, not to get arrested.

“Yeah, you’re right. You’d probably just make things worse.”

“Then it’s best if I just wait it out here, see?”

“Hmm...” Gourry fell pensively silent.

“Actually, maybe you’re right. I should do my part to try and break this up... Oh, I know!” I raised a declarative finger. “How about this? I’ll suddenly scream and fall over. Meanwhile, you’ll be standing over me, sword in hand, and say something like, ‘Heh, too easy.’ I bet everyone’ll stop fighting to gawk.”

Gourry scowled at this idea. “And you’ll clear me of murder afterwards... how, praytell?”

“Eh, well... we’ll figure something out.”

“I need a better plan than that! I could end up arrested!”

“C’mon, that’s just part of the fun!”

“It most certainly is not!”

“Jeez, you’re a stick in the mud. But, hmm, in that case...”

Just as I was about to share my next great idea, a sudden gust of wind blew through the pub and quickly quieted the chaos within. Traveling like a wave radiating out from the door, it hushed the shouts and jeers of combat into shocked whispers.

Gourry stood up and looked toward the pub entrance, letting out a curious hum. Intrigued by the commotion, I also got to my feet behind him and peeked out to see the source of the new disturbance.

At the door stood a man who appeared to be cloaked in darkness. He had long, ebony hair and wore some kind of black tunic made of a material I didn’t recognize. A scarf covered his mouth, and he wore a kind of longsword on his back that I wasn’t familiar with.

He looked about the same age as Gourry, not much over twenty or so... but rather than Gourry’s noncommittal air, he had a menacing quality about him that sent a chill up my spine. That was precisely what had hushed the other patrons so suddenly.

It was immediately apparent that this man was a skilled swordsman—skilled enough for Gourry to take note of him, anyway. In summary: dude was good-looking enough, but definitely also the kind of guy you want to give a wide berth at all times.

“I’m looking for bodyguards,” he said.

His voice was exactly what you’d expect, cold yet crisp... Yeah, like an over-sharpened blade, you could say.

“If you want money and have confidence in your skills, then speak up. Master Talim is the sponsor. The job pays well,” he continued bluntly.

Hmm... I’d give him a C minus on his pitch, but an A for clarity. Nevertheless, the inside of the pub remained as quiet and still as a wasteland.

See, there was currently a bit of a kerfuffle going on here in Atlas City. The chairman of the city’s sorcerers’ council, Halciform the White, went missing about six months ago. His two vice chairmen, Talim the Purple and Daymia the Blue, had been fighting for his seat ever since. Mr. All Black was apparently here recruiting for Talim’s side.

Obviously, I wasn’t interested in getting drawn into someone else’s power struggle, but...

“I’ll hear him out,” I said, standing up.

“Wait, you’re—”

The guy who cut in was the jerk who’d started the brawl by touching my butt, the vile and villainous Lantz. After his afore-described inauspicious opener, he’d spent most of the fight getting knocked around in a similar fashion. His face was accordingly in rough shape.

Aw, poor baby! Hee hee hee...

But though Lantz cut in on me, one look from the man in black silenced him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

Wait, so did this guy and Lantz know each other? Sheesh, pick better friends! Both of you!

“M-Master Rod...” Lantz stammered. “Well, see... Master Talim sent me on a little errand, and I—”

“If your errand is finished, you can head back now,” the man in black replied bluntly.

Then, without affording Lantz so much as another look, he turned to me again. I felt another chill run up my spine as his grim eyes stared directly into mine.

“You’re a sorcerer?” he asked briefly.

I was currently wearing a new outfit I’d just bought in town: a cream-colored tunic with an indigo robe and matching pants. I also had a black bandanna, my sword on my hip, and my shaved-down turtle shell pauldrons on my shoulders, complete with a black cape hanging from them. Everything was studded here and there with jeweled amulets too, so, yeah... The whole getup just kind of screamed “sorcerer.”

Of course, I’d met one idiot who’d thought I was a fishmonger or a waitress...

“You have fire in your eyes. What’s your name?”

“How these things usually go is, the guy doing the hiring introduces himself first,” I said breezily, even though I knew his name already.

Of course, internally, I was totally sweating bullets. He seemed like the kind of guy who would jump you over the slightest offense. But I couldn’t let myself be intimidated.

“Rod,” he answered, more readily than I’d expected.

I let out a quiet exhale. This guy was exhausting!

“I’m Lina.”

“Oh?” I picked up a faint tone of interest in his voice. “So you’re Lina, are you? I’ve heard the rumors.”

Bad ones, I assumed. You know, Bandit Killer and Queen of Destruction and all that jazz.

“Very well. Follow me,” Rod said, then turned around.

I figured I’d play along for now.

“Shall we, Gourry?”

“...What, me too?” he asked while standing up unceremoniously.

And just as he did... Rod leaped right at us, his hand on his sword hilt!

I was sure he was going to draw, and I clearly wasn’t alone in that. The whole pub was expecting a bloody swordfight to break out.

Everyone except, apparently, for Gourry.

Either he was oblivious to what was happening or he was just playing dumb, because the second Rod was about to strike, Gourry bent over, plucked a fried dumpling I’d been saving off of my plate, and popped it into his mouth.

The air of hostility hanging about Rod receded, though he still had an intensity about him that was far beyond that of your typical swordsman.

“Not bad,” he remarked.

“Well, I like to think I’m above average, at least,” Gourry replied modestly to Rod’s assessment.

Okay, so... My boy Gourry here might be lacking in intelligence, common sense, mental acuity, and brains, but he’s also a top-class swordfighter. I’d like to think I’m above average with a blade myself, but I knew I couldn’t hold a candle to Gourry.

Rod must have made him for a swordsman in an instant.

“I’d love to duel you sometime,” he said.

“But work comes first, right?” Gourry responded breezily.

“That’s right. Work first, then violence!” I quipped.

“Could you pick a less incendiary way of showing support?” Gourry quipped back as he bonked me on the head.

Atlas City was a prosperous castle town built around Castle Vale, home to Duke Litocharn, and was something of a nexus of commerce. At noon, its streets would be crammed with market stalls and carts. You know, the fun kind of place where people loved to fight, where thieves and pickpockets ran rampant, and where mob justice against suspected thieves and pickpockets ran equally rampant.

But by this time of day, all that hustle and bustle had died down. The stall merchants were packing up their wares while young girls skipped home, showing off their beautiful new hair ornaments. And sitting above it all atop the hill looking over town was Castle Vale. Burning crimson in the setting sun, it was a picturesque sight.

We walked through the streets toward it, the buildings growing conspicuously taller and taller as we went. This setup was common in castle towns like Atlas City. Public facilities and whatnot increased as you got closer to the castle. Profile and quality of life were accordingly much higher here.

As for the sorcerers’ council building, it had the privilege of sitting quite close to the castle. Any big city like this probably had a church, a sorcerers’ council, and a warriors’ guild, all of which held some sway in local politics, but... the sorcerers’ council here in Atlas City was special. While not quite on the level of the Saillune Priesthood, it was particularly influential. Sometimes even more so than the local lord, Duke Litocharn.

Given all that, I wasn’t surprised at all to hear there was infighting over something as prestigious as the chairman’s seat. It’s just... Okay, look, sorcerers are supposed to live their lives “seeking truth,” you know? And frankly, being a sorcerer myself, I found all this open grasping for power just the slightest bit gauche.

Hmm? How exactly am I seeking truth, you ask? Never you mind that!

As the town began its descent into darkness, sorcerers in the employ of Duke Litocharn were casting Lighting spells along the streets. Hmm... Given that I’d arrived at the pub some time after noon, that meant lunch and the ensuing brawl had taken up about half my day. Not a very productive afternoon, huh?

“Say, Lina,” Gourry said, lowering his voice so he could whisper to me without Rod overhearing. “What made you want to take this job? You’re the one who said you weren’t interested in working while we were here.”

He was right. I had intended for our stay in Atlas City to be all about R&R. I was still pretty worn out from a certain major incident I’d gotten wrapped up in not long ago (through no fault of my own whatsoever, mind you). I’d thusly told Gourry pretty firmly that I wouldn’t be up for any work while we were in town. But...

“It was the only way to get out of there scot-free,” I whispered back. “Besides, I haven’t agreed to anything yet. All I said was that I’d hear him out. So, once I do, I can just say, ‘Oh, okay. Thanks but no thanks.’”

“I dunno about that...” Gourry scratched his head. “Given what I’ve heard about Talim, I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who’s going to take no for an answer.”

“So we fight our way out. If it comes down to that, I’ll be counting on you, Gourry,”

He gave me a sulky scowl.

“Traveling with you doesn’t bode well for a person’s life expectancy, does it?”

“Sure doesn’t,” I said with a grin.

But that grin quickly faded. I whipped around in a daze. There were nothing but crowds of people passing by, yet...

“What’s wrong, Lina?” Gourry asked.

“I, uh, just got this feeling someone’s watching us...”

“Oh, you felt that too?” he asked like it was nothing.

Ugh, come on, man...

“...Let’s take the back way,” Rod muttered.

My nose was met with a rank odor and my ears were treated to the sound of a dog barking somewhere nearby. We were currently in an alley behind a row of dingy brick rental houses where the sun’s rays barely penetrated. We were just one road off the main avenue, but the change in atmosphere was quite stark. Of course, that was fairly typical in a big city like this.

We appeared to be the only people traveling along the dank, stagnant street. It was pretty obvious why Rod had chosen to come this way: he’d also sensed watchful eyes upon us. By moving to a deserted area, he was trying to lure the watcher out into the open. Talk about hotheaded...

Rod came to a stop all of a sudden and announced, “That’s enough.”

I knew who he was talking to.

“He’s telling you assassins to drop the games already,” I added loudly.

I sensed movement. Several men then appeared from behind nearby buildings, pouring out into the street to block our way forward. I turned around to see several more boxing us in from behind as well. Their dress was ostentatious enough that it practically announced them: “Ladies and gentlemen, we are bandits!”

Wait a minute...

I’d felt quite a few gazes on me before, but one was chilling enough to give me goosebumps. It clearly hadn’t come from any of this riff-raff. Who was it, then? I was certain it hadn’t just been my imagination...

“You workin’ for Talim?” one of the bandits asked, bringing me back to the situation at hand.

“Well, we hadn’t worked that out yet, exactly...” Gourry said, playing dumb.

“I’m sure they mean to kill you either way,” Rod said coldly.

The assassins all responded with a knowing chuckle.

“There’s no backing down now, so I guess you’ll have to show me what you can do,” the swordsman in black said to us—well, more specifically, to Gourry.

No backing down now, huh? How presumptuous of you, sir! Just who was it that led us into this mess in the first place?

“Sorry, but I’ll pass,” I said breezily. “I haven’t agreed to take your job yet, and fighting these guys here and now will basically lock me in. So if you concocted this little setup, sorry, but I’m not falling for it.”

“You think I set this up?” Rod asked, looking me up and down with cold eyes. “I’m hoping you won’t take the job.”

“Huh?”

“After all, I can’t fight my own allies,” he said, staring past me, right at Gourry.

Talk about scary!

“But your assessment is otherwise correct,” he continued casually. “I’ll dispose of them myself.”

A murmur of excitement ran through the group of assassins. One man against ten—it was easy enough to say, but impossible to pull off without a monumental disparity in skill. Still, I had a feeling that Rod might be able to hack it. I could get a good read on a person’s ability just by watching their posture, and if I’m being honest...

These assassin guys just plain sucked! Talim’s rival, Daymia, must have been the one who hired them, but holy cow, talk about craptastic! They probably weren’t any more competent than rookie soldiers, if that.

Upon completing my assessment, I pointed at Rod and addressed the assassins: “You heard the man! If you wanna kill us, you gotta kill him first!”

“Darn... That’s harsh,” Gourry said with a wince.

He’d surely realized that these guys were no match for Rod too. He wouldn’t have been so calm about the whole affair otherwise.

“Dammit! Don’t take us so lightly!” one of the men shouted.

And with that completely unoriginal and lackluster line, he charged straight at Rod. Following his lead, perhaps, the other assassins drew their weapons. Rod watched them keenly as he reached for the sword on his back. He too then took off in a run.

One assassin crossed blades with the black gale that was Rod, and not a moment later, his head popped into the air. Rudely awakened to the power of their foe, the man behind the first victim flinched... It was too late. Rod passed him by and, just like that, the man was dead. The remaining assassins were rightly shaken.

“Tch! Retreat!” one of them shouted from the back.

Some might argue that was a coward’s line, but it was also probably the smartest idea any of these dolts had had all day. Nevertheless, as the assassin in the back turned to run, a man with a bastard sword and a face covered in welts blocked his path.

It was Lantz, the tavern jerk.

“Geh...”

The assassins all froze in place. One tried to charge Lantz, but was easily defeated after one or two exchanges.

Huh, wasn’t expecting this loser to actually be decent...

Rod—who’d already polished off his own immediate attackers—then joined up with Lantz. From there, it was a completely one-sided slaughter. The whole thing was over before either Gourry or I could get a comment in edgewise. Rod unceremoniously used his scarf to wipe the blood from his sword, then glanced over at Lantz questioningly.

“A group of guys left the tavern after you did. Looked kind of like they were following you,” Lantz rattled off before Rod could even ask. “I ended up tailing them, and it turned out I was right. I’m sure you didn’t need my help, though...”

“I didn’t,” Rod said bluntly.

Lantz was taken aback for a second, but decided not to press the issue. Instead, he turned to look at me and Gourry with disdain.

“Still, Master Rod...” he began. “You really think Miss Pint-Size and Mr. Pompous here will be useful?”

P-P-Pint-Size?!

“Lantz,” Rod hissed before I could object myself.

A visible shudder ran through Lantz’s body.

“I’m the one who recruited them.”

In other words, questioning our ability would be questioning Rod’s judgment. Realizing his mistake, Lantz turned pale.

“S-Sorry, Master Rod...”

“Never mind that,” Rod responded in his typical dour tone as he began walking once more without sparing Lantz another glance.

We followed, of course, and from behind us, I could hear the distinct sound of Lantz clicking his tongue. I whipped around with my hands on my hips. I was about to tell him to speak up if he had something to say, but before I could get the words out—

Blub!

The ground beneath my feet transformed!

“Wh-What the heck is this?!” Lantz screamed.

He’d already sunken down to his shins. The street below us, you see, had abruptly transmogrified into a sea of mud.

“Looks like this one’s on you, Lina,” Gourry said nonchalantly as he too sank into the mud.

“Way ahead of you,” I replied.

Incidentally, Rod was watching with calm interest as he also descended into the mud. I, however, turned my eyes toward the new player on the scene.

“Oho... A sorcerer, eh?”

The speaker was a man floating in the air overhead, backed by the darkening sky above. He wore a black hooded cape, a jeweled amulet around his neck, and beautifully crafted pauldrons styled after the heads of brow daemons. Though, I have to say, he was kind of on the pale side... In other words, pretty much your archetypal sorcerer.

“So, let me guess: You sent those guys after us to see what we could do, right?”

“That’s right. And they served their purpose well,” the sorcerer said with a grin.

“Entreating bephemoths—spirits of the earth—to convert the ground to mud and hold us in place while you attack from above... Not a bad plan. Too bad I’m here,” I said, looking up at the guy.

I myself was casually standing atop the sea of mud courtesy of a Levitation spell. I’d cast it the moment I felt the ground change under my feet, and it had kept me from sinking like the others.

“Your presence is irrelevant. All who oppose Lord Daymia will fall before Caluath the sorcerer!”

“Don’t go promising things you can’t make good on,” I said, floating into the air before incanting another spell. “Lei Wing!”

In a flash, I was right beside Caluath.

“What?!” he shouted in surprise.

Lei Wing was a spell that created a barrier of wind around its caster to allow for high-speed flight. It wasn’t too popular these days because it was harder to control than Levitation and wasn’t especially practical, but I personally liked it. It was quite useful in certain situations.

Caluath was currently occupied maintaining both his spell that turned the ground to mud and his own Levitation spell. And since not even the most powerful sorcerers could keep up more than two spells at once, that meant his hands were already full and I had nothing to worry about.

I was, however, so focused on controlling my Lei Wing that the best I could probably muster was a casting of Lighting. Offensive spells were out of the question. But at the very least, that put us on equal footing.

The sorcerer turned to face me...

“Die, impudent girl!”

...And a set of Flare Arrows appeared in front of him!

What?! No way!

“Ack!” I shouted as I dodged the incoming projectiles.

They were weak enough that I could have deflected them with ease by altering the strength of my wind barrier, but I was too shocked to think straight.

“Heh. What’s wrong, girl? You seem rather surprised,” Caluath said with a high-pitched laugh, his pauldrons laughing right along with him.

Wait a minute. Pauldrons don’t usually laugh, do they? Unless...

“That’s right,” he proclaimed triumphantly. “These are no mere pauldrons. They’re living things!”

Living things? Those brow daemons on his shoulders? I knew that brow daemons could use some mid-level magic, and their heads were about the size of the ones on Caluath’s shoulders right now. But... where the heck were their bodies, then?! Brow daemons were quite a bit smaller than humans, but certainly not small enough to fit under this guy’s cape.

“They’re no ordinary brow daemons, you see. They’re chimeras Lord Daymia made as a gift for me. Charming little slaves, aren’t they? They allow me to maintain three spells at once!” Caluath conveniently explained.

Of all the things to brag about! Eesh...

All this really meant was that he was totally dependent on the brow daemons to get anything done. The spell turning the ground to mud, Levitation, and whatever spell he attacked with—that was one spell apiece for him and his two chimeras. If he hadn’t spelled that out for me, I would’ve assumed he was just that good... Guys like him really burn my bacon.

“Light, appear!” I called, launching a Lighting spell at Caluath.

Levitation didn’t allow for much in the way of agility, so I figured he wouldn’t be able to dodge it.

“Gah!” he screamed, proving me right.

The ball of light I released must have blinded him good.

“Wh-Where have you gone, girl?!” Caluath moaned.

“Skyeek!” the brow daemon on his right shoulder squealed.

“Above me?!”

Caluath must have understood whatever language it was speaking. He turned to look upward, even though his vision was still compromised.

Slam!

I landed right on his face. After using Lighting to blind him, I’d used Lei Wing to soar directly above him... And then I’d dismissed the spell.

Splat!

I dropped the sorcerer into his own mudpit, head-first. His upper half sank right in, while I stood victoriously atop his protruding rear end. See, I’d already started reciting my next spell on the way down.

“Freeze Arrow!”

I shot the subzero arrow I’d conjured right into the ground, freezing the mud hard in an instant. A single shiver ran through the sorcerer beneath me before he froze in place. The brow daemons on his shoulders—apparently defeated just as easily—were forced to drop their spells, thus returning the sea of mud to solid ground.

For such a dramatic entrance, Caluath had gone down pretty easily. His undoing was probably thinking that being able to cast multiple spells at once made him invincible. Everyone knows it’s not about the number of spells; it’s about how you use them!

“Easy-peasy.”

I turned back to face the other three, and... Oh.

“Yeah, great. Awesome. Now... you think you could do somethin’ about this, please?” Lantz asked.

He and the other boys were still up to their waists in the frozen ground, teeth chattering.

What delicious Loania lamb rolls! Perfectly spiced meat in a green vegetable sauté, complemented by a delicious and fragrant diluted honey wine. And these fried moule shrimp? To die for!

The dinner laid out for us was a truly luxurious feast. If I wasn’t here on business—and if Rod and Talim weren’t around—I’d be in hog heaven.

Talim the Purple, seated at the head of the table, was a portly fellow in the first years of old age. Appellations such as “the Purple” and “the Blue” were sort of like titles handed down by sorcerers’ councils—along with appropriately-colored robes and capes—to those who held important positions or had performed great service. It wasn’t a ranking system, so there was no “best color” to have.

If you’ll indulge me on a little tangent here, I myself was once given a color title by the local sorcerers’ council as a special guest. When participating in official council events, you were supposed to attend in the robe you were given, but... Like hell I’d ever done that.

Why, you ask? I wouldn’t be caught dead in that stupid outfit. It was pink! Freakin’ pink!

When I brought it home, my sister had a good laugh at my expense.

“Lina the Pink?! You know what men say about a girl who wears pink!” she’d crowed.

Shut up! It’s not my fault! I didn’t pick it!

The council had assured me it was “a befitting color for such a charming girl.” But seriously, what the hell kind of black magic practitioner wants to go around wearing pink?! I couldn’t exactly throw the robes in their faces and storm out, though, so I’d put on my best strained smile and oh-so graciously accepted them at the time, but...

Ah, I digress. The point is that Talim’s purple was also a real piece of work. Nothing against purple, of course, but it’s gotta be on the right person. Slender, mysterious bad boys could pull it off. But this fat old guy shoveling food into his mouth, clad in those dazzling purple robes? Well, all I can say is, it wasn’t exactly an appetizing sight.

Talim was completely bald, with beady eyes that were constantly blinking. But worst of all, he was smoking a cigar! At dinner! Maybe he was having it in place of wine.

I just wanted to scream, “Don’t smoke while people are eating!” Then hit him with a Bram Blazer or something for emphasis. But I just barely managed to restrain myself. My, how I’ve grown!

His story about his conflict with Daymia since the chairman’s disappearance wasn’t too different from the rumors going around the city. The main difference in his account was that, rather than a mutual clash, he claimed that Daymia was the one picking a fight, and thus he was only hiring mercenaries for his personal protection.

“I just want the two of you as bothyguards, little miss.” He had a bit of a lisp, and his voice was higher-pitched than you’d expect based on his appearance. The way he pronounced “bodyguards” was particularly noteworthy. “He may send assassins after me from time to time, but of course, I won’t stoop to his level.”

I had to wonder about that...

“Of course, once I’m chairman, I’ll deal with him properly— Well, that wording might give the wrong impression. Really, I’ll probably just strip him of his position.”

“But what if Daymia is elected chairman instead?” I asked plainly, but he just laughed me off.

“Oh, he won’t be. I’ll be the next chairman, no doubt about that. I can’t deny that his magic is rather powerful. A fair margin better than mine, even. He’s also the second son of a noble family, so he’s quite well connected. But he’s, you know...” He stopped there to lower his voice and point to his head. “A little off in this department.”

“Ahh...” I responded vaguely.

Gourry, who didn’t seem to care about any of this, was singularly focused on picking out every single green pepper from his vegetable stir-fry. I guess I couldn’t hold that against him, but c’mon. Rod, meanwhile, stood next to Talim, silently watching Gourry with his usual hostility flaring. It was honestly exhausting to be the only adult in the room.

“Sorcerers are supposed to take their research seriously, but he treats it all like some sort of game.”

“I bet your ears are burning,” Gourry suddenly interjected.

Why was that the only part he decided to pay attention to?! I kicked him under the table as hard as I could, but Gourry didn’t even blink. He just kept picking the green peppers out of his dinner. There was something almost admirable about his determination.

Talim continued on, not seeming to notice any of our shenanigans.

“He claims to be researching immortality when, in reality, he’s just locked himself up to play with his homunculi and chimeras. Toying with life for fun... It’s a disgrace to our profession, honestly!” he said, sounding genuinely worked up about it.

“Immortality, huh?” I echoed in a quiet voice.

Plenty of people out there were desperate for the secrets of immortality. Five hundred years ago, the sovereign of the prosperous Principality of Letidius had offered an enormous bounty across the land to sate his quest for eternal life. It threw the country into a frenzy, with people committing all kinds of atrocities in their sovereign’s name. In the end, civil war and invasion brought his nation to ruin, and all the guy had to show for it was his head on a pike.

It all happened over a period of two years, and the whole affair was ugly enough that sorcerers now referred to it as “the Dark Ages.” I hope I don’t have to give examples, but apparently there were some very public and very distasteful experiments performed during that period. I mean, think about it. After you dose someone with a supposed elixir of immortality, what’s the easiest way to test if it worked? All sorts of experiments were carried out, none of them successful.

They say there are some sorcerers who’ve lived longer than two hundred years, but records are spotty. Some even say there are those who’ve made pacts with demons for eternal life, but what they achieve is only a facsimile of immortality. Entropy is the law of the universe, plain and simple, and trying to circumvent that with magic is a fool’s errand.

So, long story short, based on what I’d heard about him so far, this Vice Chairman Daymia guy was not someone I wanted to voluntarily associate with.

“The council election committee knows about it, too. They’d never instate him as chairman.”

“Ahh...”

I couldn’t do much but nod in response. What was there to say?

“As for me, I study the language sorcerers use,” Vice Chairman Talim said, suddenly changing the subject.

Oh, crap... Is he about to start talking about himself?! You see guys like this all the time! Ones who’ll take any excuse to start bragging! Then they go on forever and ever until the listener is begging to be put out of their misery!

“Obviously, much of magic requires tools and rituals, but the most important element of spellcasting is the words that govern the laws of cause and effect. Specifically, the incantation. But how is it that mere words hold such power—the ability to make the impossible mundane? That’s my field of research.”

Aw, hell. The guy was clearly building up steam for a long-haul lecture, so I decided to try and steer things in a different direction.

“So what was Council Chairman Halciform studying? Before he disappeared, I mean,” I interrupted forcefully.

A jolt ran through Talim’s body.

Huh?

That certainly wasn’t the reaction of someone mad about being interrupted. He seemed genuinely shaken.

“Ah, the chairman... Yes, the chairman...”

He hesitated there.

“He was researching... life. Yes, he was researching life,” he said, clearly dissembling.

It was obvious as hell that he was hiding something.

“By the way, are you sure you should be dishing all this dirt on the inner workings of the council?” I asked, watching Talim closely. “We haven’t actually agreed to take your job yet.”

“No matter,” the vice chairman said with a light wave of his hand. “Naturally, if you don’t accept my offer, we’ll just pretend this never happened.”

“...Huh?” I found myself bleating.

“You can’t get good work out of people if you’re constantly manipulating them with the carrot and the stick. It’s important to me that you want to do this.”

Hmm...

I’d expected him to try and twist my arm a little more. To be honest, I was kind of prepared for this to turn into a fight. But whether or not Talim really meant what he said, his perfectly reasonable demeanor took the wind out of my sails a little.

“The point is that while I’m getting up there in years, I’m not ready to die yet. I really am looking for skilled bodyguards, so I’m hoping for an enthusiastic response,” he declared, shooting me an awkward wink across the table.

Brrr!

I almost spat my pork stew out of my mouth.

Darkness settled over the city as Gourry and I walked down the now-empty streets.

If we headed a little further downtown, we’d hit inns and bars catering to travelers, the red light district, and other areas still well lit in the dead of night. At present, however, we were in the middle of a residential district. With all the windows of the houses dark, it appeared everyone was asleep.

The streets were dark too, of course. There were lamps along the road with Lighting cast on them, but they were intentionally dimmed in order to extend their longevity. All in all, the full moon overhead provided more light.

I’d given Talim a vague response when I left his residence. I told him I’d think about the job, but I just couldn’t muster any real interest in it. Really, what bugged the most was that when I told Talim who I was, he didn’t react at all.

It’s not like I’d expected special treatment or anything. It’s just that... Not to brag or whatever, but I’m pretty famous. Okay, maybe “infamous” is a better word for it. Rumors about me say I chuck Dragon Slaves around willy-nilly and destroy natural landscapes, that I turn beaches into inlets of death in the name of “magic experiments.” And yes, the fact that all the rumors about me are true makes it even worse! So you’d think the vice chairman of a sorcerers’ council in a big city like this should have at least heard of me. But he didn’t show the slightest bit of recognition when he heard my name!

Most likely, he didn’t believe me. He was probably thinking something along the lines of, “She’s just pretending to be someone famous, but as long as she’s good, that’s all I care about.”

Any time I’d brought up Council Chairman Halciform, Talim had looked right shaken, so I could tell there was more than met the eye about what was going on here... but I didn’t pry further because I never intended to take the job.

While I was mulling all this over, someone grabbed me by the back of my collar. It was Gourry.

“Uh, the inn is that way,” he said in a patronizing tone. “You know, even if they water it down for kids, alcohol is alcohol. Guzzling it down because it tastes good is still going to get you drunk.”

Hey, who’s drunk?

“Who’re ya callin’ drunk?” I asked.

Okay, okay, so maybe I was slurring my speech a little, but I was still all there! The only reason I’d taken a wrong turn was because I was thinking so hard. That said, despite having drunk quite a bit of real wine himself, Gourry was both walking and talking perfectly straight.

“Just follow me, okay?” he offered.

I burped in the affirmative and followed after him, keeping my eyes locked on his back. After just a few steps, however, I smacked right into him.

“Hey, don’t jus’ stop...”

As I started to complain, I felt the familiar dark of night take on a sinister shade. I turned my eyes in the same direction Gourry was looking and saw that a shadow had overtaken the moon. It wasn’t a cloud... but rather two figures sitting atop a nearby roof, blocking out the moonlight.

Their forbidding presence sobered me instantly.

“Izzat—”

Okay, so maybe I was still slurring my words a little. But I wasn’t drunk, I swear!

At the very least, I can assure you that the two silhouettes squatting on the roof were not some alcohol-induced hallucination. And their menacing aura... I’m not sure how to explain it to anyone who’s never met a magical being before. It prickled like a chill, like a foul smell.

“Demons, eh?” Gourry whispered.

One stood with legs spread wide, its cape billowing in the wind. It wore a mask made of alabaster stone—like a white version of the devil masks used in masque—and a pitch-black headwrap that hid everything but its eyes. Perhaps because it was backlit by the moon, but apart from the eyes of its mask, the demon appeared to be nothing more than a silhouette of a cape flapping in the darkness.

A dark, more-or-less humanoid figure crouched next to it. It wore the left half of a white mask that seemed to be made out of interlocking pieces overtop a featureless, full-face black mask.

Okay... It was all snapping into place. This had to be who was watching us just before Daymia’s assassins had attacked this afternoon.

Rustle...

Long coils of black hair danced in the wind from the head of the demon wearing two masks. It pointed to us with one unusually long hand.

“Guests of Talim?” it said in a voice that could only be described as “sticky.”

A green gem mounted in the white half of its mask glimmered briefly. Was that its eye?

“It appears you haven’t yet taken his job offer. See that you don’t... If you care to leave the city alive, that is.”

“Heed us. Or don’t, if you so choose. But know that your decision will change the course of your lives,” the one in the stark white mask said.

In contrast to his friend, his soft voice almost seemed majestic. If he were a church priest, I bet he’d have a ton of female followers.

I let out a snort in reply, however.

“Oh pleashe! You guysh can’tellush whaddado...”

Intimidated by my forcefulness (I think), the two demons drew back.

“She’s trying to say, ‘Oh please. You guys can’t tell us what to do,’” Gourry translated earnestly.

Two-Mask clicked its tongue and said, “What do you advise, Lord Seigram? We can’t have a conversation with a drunk...”

“It is of no concern, Gio. Our mission was to issue a warning and nothing more. We’re done here,” White-Mask—the demon called Seigram, apparently—said distastefully.

Two-Mask Gio sighed, then turned back to us: “So... just stay out of this. Understand?”

“He said, ‘Ju’shtay outtadis. Unnershtan?’” Gourry translated earnestly.

Thank you! That was totally unnecessary! I started to wonder if maybe he was a little drunk after all.

“Now, consider yourselves warned,” the demon said. Following that, they both rose into the air and melded into the darkness. Once the seething miasma of their presence dispersed, the shining white light of the moon returned.

“Heh heh... Takeshom gutsh ta pikafite widda great Lina...”

“She said, ‘Heh heh... Takes some guts to pick a fight with the great Lina,’” Gourry said, translating my monologue for no one in particular.

He’s drunk! He’s definitely drunk!

We both rested soundly enough that night. After stirring, I woke up Gourry in the room next door, and we moved downstairs to enjoy a light breakfast while we discussed our next move.

“So who do you think those guys were? You think Daymia’s raising demons or something?”

“Which guys?” Gourry asked, looking confused as he held his fork midway to his mouth.

Ha! You left yourself open!

My right hand moved in a flash. I skewered a strip of stewed chicken on his plate, and it disappeared into my mouth before anyone knew what happened.

“Ahh! Hey!” Gourry snapped out of his stupor, raising his voice to a shriek.

“That was your own fault for letting your guard down!”

“Okay, if that’s the way you want to play it... Take this!”

“Ah! My precious fried egg!”

That was unforgivable! Thunder clapped behind me as I flipped him the bird. (Oh, Lina! You’re so crass!)

“Gourry, you knave! Just because we’re traveling companions doesn’t mean you can filch eggs off the great warrior-slash-sorcerer Lina Inverse! Even if the world might forgive you, I never shall!”

“Have you ever considered that all your bluster might just be compensating for a fundamental selfishness?”

“You shut up! If that’s how it’s gonna be... Take this! And this!”

“Hey! My sausage! Then... take this! And this!”

“Excuse me, sir, miss...”

“You brute! I’m not done yet! Take this!”

“Urgh! A devilish move! Now take this! My shocking two-level attack! Feint!”

“Monster! Fiend! Well, if it’s come to that...”

“Sir? Miss?”

“Take this! My secret finishing move! Hah!”

“Curse you! You’ll never get my last piece of chicken! Take this!”

“Sir! Miss!”

Silence.

Gourry and I snapped out of our frenzy, right in the middle of locking knives and forks across the table. The innkeeper was looking at us with a very strained expression.

“Could you please eat your meal in peace?”

A piece of chicken dropped from our locked silverware to the table with a splat.

“So, really, who did you think those guys were?” I tried asking one more time after we moved our discussion to Gourry’s room.

“Seriously, which guys?” he asked again from the other side of the small table.

“Uh, the two demons we met last night? Duh.”

“Demons?”

Oh, come on...

“You know, the spooky dudes who showed up on our way back from Talim’s place?”

“Oh!” Gourry exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “I don’t remember that at all.”

Erk! I nearly fell outta my chair.

“See, when I have too much to drink, I totally black out. Can’t remember a thing from that point on. People say I don’t seem the slightest bit drunk when I’m like that, though. So, as far as last night goes, my memory cuts off around dinner. Everything after that is a blank.”

“You almost sound proud of it...”

Ha, I knew he was drunk off his ass! With no recourse, I recounted to Gourry the events of the previous night.

“Huh? That really happened?”

“Sure did.”

“Hmm, I really don’t remember it at all. But I’ve gotta hand it to myself... It’s pretty impressive that I can drink so much that I black out, but still stay conscious.”

“Don’t admire your own stupidity. Besides, you’re getting us off-track.”

“Hmm...” Gourry pensively put a hand to his chin. “Well, I guess the most likely scenario is that the demons are assassins hired by Daymia.”

“I guess so. That’s the usual pattern, anyway.”

“Wait, does this mean...” Gourry started with a wince.

“You bet,” I said, rising from my chair. “I wasn’t gonna take the job before, but if I turn it down now, it’ll look like I got scared off by some silly little demons. Ergo, we’re taking the job!”

The city was teeming with life. The marketplace was open now, which meant the stores and streets were jam-packed with people.

Argh! So annoying! Where did all these people come from?! They make it hard to walk! Not to mention breathe! Make way, jackasses!

We stepped off the main avenue onto a less crowded street, and I let out a sigh of relief. Of course, “crowded” is relative—there were still quite a lot of people here too. Certainly enough of them that Gourry and I would have trouble finding each other again if we got separated.

“What the hell are so many people doing out here? There a party or something?” I muttered.

“I mean...” Gourry said. “We’re here too.’”

“I know that! I just wanted to vent,” I responded, continuing to grumble to myself as I walked along to Gourry’s right.

As we went, however, I detected someone approaching from the side. There was no sign of hostility or ill intent, but they were clearly focused on me.

“Please,” called a girl’s voice.

I turned in her direction. She was dressed all in white, her hair the color of the setting sun. Her eyes were focused forward, though she didn’t make a move aside from speaking again.

“Please stay out of this.”

“Huh?” I gawked, finding myself slowing to a stop.

“What’s wrong, Lina?” Gourry asked.

“Well... I just...”

I turned around again, but the girl was already gone. I quickly scanned the area and spotted her on the other side of a crowd of people. She glanced back at me and bowed with a strange kind of desperation in her eyes.

“Wait!”

I tried to follow after her, but it was too late. She’d long vanished into the throng. All I could do was stand there and stare.

Crash!

As I did, someone ran into me.

“Hey! Don’t stop in the middle of the road, you shrimp!”

“Shrimp?!”

Whack!

I let fly an unhesitating kick into the balls of the old jerk who ran into me, then went back to staring off into the crowd.

Don’t you hate it when assholes ruin a good mysterious atmosphere?