Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (LN) - Volume SS3 - Chapter 3.05

5

“I’ve knocked—now I’m coming in.”

After giving the door a soft, almost caressing knock, Rem slipped into the room. The lights were already out. The only source of illumination came from two eerie, pale blue orbs floating in the darkness—or, more specifically, Rem’s slightly intoxicated eyes.

“I knocked, okay?”

Repeating her defense for the record, Rem silenced her footsteps and made her way to the back of the room. It was a path she walked every morning and every night. Even with her eyes closed, she could navigate it effortlessly. However, she needed to keep them open for the task at hand, so she preferred to do so.

“Aww, Subaru…so precious.”

Her open eyes settled on the black-haired boy curled up in bed, fast asleep. The instant she saw him, her face melted into a smile—or rather, a smirk.

Every night, part of Rem’s bedtime routine was to sneak into Subaru’s room just to steal a glimpse of his sleeping face. She believed there was a unique charm to both his nighttime and morning expressions. Such were the thoughts of the ever-Subaru-obsessed Rem.

Tonight, however, her heart, which usually teetered between desire and guilt, felt unusually clear. That was because she wasn’t here out of selfish desire—she was merely following Roswaal’s direct command.

“I’m afraid I’ve been ordered to watch over you from within arm’s reach. If I must, I must.”

Taking her master’s command with an almost hysterical level of creative interpretation, Rem cozied up beside the bed and knelt on the floor next to Subaru. She lowered her gaze to match the height of his face, instantly closing the distance between them.

She was now close enough to feel his breath.

“Subaru…are you sure it’s okay for you to be so vulnerable around me?” she whispered.

Subaru did not answer. He was fast asleep, completely unaware of Rem’s intrusion. He was the polar opposite of his lively, talkative daytime self. Even his breathing was softer, quieter. With his sharp, slanted eyes now closed, he looked more his age—or perhaps even younger, Rem thought.

“……”

As she knelt there, helplessly swooning over his sleeping face, a blush crept onto her cheeks at the sheer audacity of it all. She had always prided herself on discipline, yet here she was—a frivolous oni indulging in something so shamefully improper.

For a long time, she had been unable to understand her sister, Ram, who devoted herself so completely, body and soul, to Roswaal.

Rem’s deep respect for Roswaal was entirely different from Ram’s deep affection for him. But unable to perceive this distinction, Rem had developed an inferiority complex.

Then Subaru Natsuki appeared. The more space he occupied in her mind, the closer she came to understanding the nature of Ram’s devotion to Roswaal.

And with that realization came another—this feeling was something far beyond her control.

“……”

With her knees still on the floor, Rem leaned forward, surrendering her upper body to the bed. Subaru’s face was almost touching hers. As she watched him sleep, she murmured softly.

“Your fingers…they’re so thin and beautiful for a man’s. Your sleeping face…it’s so peaceful, just like a baby’s. Your hair…if you don’t dry it properly before you sleep, you’ll have terrible bedhead tomorrow.”

One by one, she listed the little details of Subaru’s appearance—things he considered his flaws. And yet, to Rem, they were anything but. That was the terrifying nature of the feverish passion that afflicted her.

“Your lips—”

Her gaze fixated on the one particularly vulnerable feature of his already vulnerable sleeping face. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed. If she leaned in just a little more, she could reach them. She could already feel the warmth of his breath against her lips. Ordinarily, even approaching this close would be a violation of her own boundaries.

“—Ah.”

But the moment she remembered those boundaries, reality crashed into her at supersonic speed.

Even in her intoxicated state… It had been a minuscule dose—she had merely inhaled the scent of alcohol. And now, with her mind abruptly sobering, the disciplined girl within her regained control, pulling herself back from temptation.

“Rem…what a fool you are.”

With her drunken haze gone, regret and shame rushed in to take its place. Blushing fiercely, she ground her teeth at her own worthlessness and quickly rose to her feet.

Roswaal had commanded her to watch over and protect Subaru from a reasonable distance. That much hadn’t changed. But she had taken the liberty of interpreting it broadly, essentially giving herself carte blanche to do as she pleased—how insolent could she be?

“It’s all your fault, Subaru, for driving me crazy.”

As Subaru slept, blissfully unaware of the accusations being leveled against him, Rem smiled at him. As always, she would leave his bedside, having done nothing. And come morning, she would whisper a quiet apology for her transgressions.

Having made up her mind, a small impulse took over. In a playful burst of mischief, Rem traced Subaru’s lips with a slender, pale finger, and—

“—Oh.”

The moment her fingertip brushed against his lips, Subaru’s mouth instinctively closed around it.

A hot, rough sensation wrapped around her finger, and Rem’s mind went blank, flashing white with euphoric chaos.

But the licking was fleeting, and soon her finger was released.

“……”

Rem stared blankly at her right index finger and froze in place. Even in the dim light, she could see the moisture glistening on her fingertip, a suggestive sheen making it clear what had just occurred.

“I…suppose this is barely permissible.”

Any thoughts of wiping her finger with a kerchief or her apron vanished from her mind. In her heart, there were only two options: to embrace the moment or to suppress it.

Rem had imposed countless restrictions on herself regarding Subaru, but this? This was an entirely unexpected development. She had never prepared for this possibility or even considered how she might resist it. Now she was forced to confront the dilemma head-on, and the task was nothing short of monumental.

This was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence—a fleeting miracle.

“However…”

The angel and devil on Rem’s shoulders waged a fierce battle, each vying for control.

How could she, a survivor of the proud oni race, succumb to such a fleeting temptation? And yet, she was the only conscious party. No one was watching. But what would Ram say if she knew? Would this be something her perfect elder sister would be proud of?

She cursed her brain for failing to preserve the exact sensation of Subaru’s tongue against her skin.

Sparks flew between the warring sides of her mind. Her breathing grew uneven, her pulse, erratic. Sweat beaded on her forehead, her entire body stiff with stress, torn between impulse and restraint until—

“I……can’t do it!”

With a desperate cry, a white horn sprouted from her forehead as the battle within her came to a dramatic conclusion. Her trembling hand shot to her apron, wiping her finger clean with fervent force.

And yet…

The moment it was done, a hollow emptiness filled her heart.

She ignored it. She knew she had made the right choice.

“Isn’t that right, Suba—?”

Free from her inner torment, Rem turned a weak smile toward Subaru—only to have her words cut off by a sudden shock.

She had been leaning over the bed, her palms pressed against the mattress, trying to steady her erratic breath. And then, out of nowhere, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her back, pulling her forward.

“—No.”

Her mind blanked as heat shot through her body. Flames of embarrassment burned across her face as she struggled to process what had just happened.

She was lying flat on the bed. In his arms.

The rough tumble had wrinkled her uniform, and, unless she was mistaken, her skirt had flipped up—a truly scandalous position.

“—Mm!”

The arms holding her tightened their grip, pulling her even closer.

Now completely cradled against him, Rem felt her heart pound so violently, she feared it might burst.

What should she do? What could she do?

Once again, Angel-Rem and Devil-Rem clashed.

But this time, she didn’t make the next move. He did.

“Mrgh…”

The single sleepy murmur escaped Subaru’s lips, and just like that, all the tension in Rem’s body evaporated. Shifting her head slightly, she peered up at him. His eyes were still closed, his breathing even.

“Yes. That’s right. Subaru isn’t that kind of person.”

Her whispered words carried both relief and…a small pang of disappointment.

He had only hugged her in his sleep. It hadn’t been intentional.

It shouldn’t have affected her so much, and yet, a strange mix of emotions stirred within her. If he was going to do this, then surely…surely, she could indulge herself just a little, right?

Just a little.

A tiny, harmless convenience fee.

She nuzzled her nose and cheek against Subaru’s chest, savoring the warmth and scent of him.

“If I must, I must. I tried my hardest to fight back, but Subaru wouldn’t wake, so I couldn’t move. So I’ll just have to keep resisting until he does.”

Leaving this flimsy excuse as a defense for herself, she let herself savor his embrace.

I have the perfect justification. A day like this now and then is nice.

With that final reassurance, little by little, Rem surrendered to sleep.

The next morning, Ram arrived to wake Subaru—only to be greeted by the sight of her sister wrapped in his arms.

There was no room for explanations.

And Subaru, still groggy from sleep, received a merciless thrashing.

To Rem, it was all a part of her ordinary, cozy day.