4
“I don’t know why, but I’m really tired…”
Emilia liked to think she was used to talking with Subaru…but three Subarus was a bit too much to handle. Though she felt guilty doing so, when she saw a chance to slip away from the tea party, she’d made a beeline for the forest.
Luckily, the forest exit was not too far from the Subaru Natsuki Mad Hatter Tea Party, so in a matter of minutes, Emilia’s mind and body were both rejuvenating under the shining sun.
“Besides, there’s a landmark that’s been very comforting to see.”
When Emilia got out of the forest, she saw her destination—a tall building that was just ahead. If Emilia wasn’t mistaken, it looked exactly like the castle in Lugunica’s royal capital.
Surely, there was somebody there who could help her. By then, Emilia didn’t feel any confusion over why she had fallen down a hole or what a castle was doing there. All she felt was a mysterious sense of duty and the maternal urge to give Puck a good spanking.
“I’ve arrived! Okay, I need to find someone to ask for help…”
Now at the foot of the castle, Emilia gave not even a passing glance to the spray of flowers in the garden surrounding the castle as her eyes darted to and fro in search of a person. Until—
“The trial! The trial is about to start!”
—a tiny cat darted across the flower bed, yelling loudly. It was Puck’s grand entrance, after his slam against the window and subsequent disappearance. He darted straight into the castle, without noticing Emilia.
“Puck again! And what trial? Ugh…now’s no time to play around!”
Her cheeks puffed over Puck’s cold shoulder, Emilia darted into the castle after him. The bright white light that met her as soon as she entered made her hands shoot over her face.
She timidly peered between her fingers. And the scene before her—
“Is this…a court?”
It was a spacious room with a ceiling so high that it couldn’t be seen, and bleachers mounted all around the walls. The seats were packed with spectators, whose noisy murmurs took control of the space.
“Off with her head.”
And in the center of the space was a girl with pink hair, coldly delivering the sentence.
She wore her usual maid’s uniform, save her headpiece, which had been swapped out for a crown—it was Ram.
She gazed down on the witness stand without a trace of compassion. And the person seemingly on trial was—for some inexplicable reason—Beatrice. She was tied up, lying on her side, red in the face, and screaming.
“I d-demand a retrial! Is this tyranny, I wonder?! I was framed!”
“Off with her head.”
“Is that the only thing you can say, I wonder?! You must be kidding me!”
Beatrice’s pleas of not guilty and false charges fell on deaf ears—Ram was dead set on executing her. And beside her was a girl with blue hair—Rem. She touched her big sister’s shoulder and said, “Um, Sister, couldn’t you at least hear Lady Beatrice’s side of the story? Besides, if it’s the cookies you’re worried about, I can always bake you some more.”
“But I was so looking forward to eating the cookies you baked me, Rem. How will she atone for the humiliation I went through when they were stolen from me? I won’t feel even slightly vindicated until I’ve beheaded the thief and used her skull as a cup.”
“All over a silly cookie—a bit tyrannical, no?! You demon! You devil! You hell spawn!”
With each raging insult, Beatrice only added further crimes to her charge. With lèse-majesté to top it all off, her looming death sentence was palpable in the court. Unable to tolerate the sight of it any longer, Emilia cried out:
“Wait! Now, I don’t care what she’s done—you’re being too hard on her!”
“What’s this? Defending Betty, are we? What audacity! Defying Her Majesty Queen Ram, you conceited little brat. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Puck was the one who answered Emilia’s plea with awfully servile responses. Given the gavel in his hand, it was probably safe to assume he was the judge. He ordered Emilia to take the stand.
“I don’t understand what’s happened, but Beatrice is not that naughty. Cutting off her head is simply out of the question. What’s come over you, Ram?”
“Impudent girl. How dare you address Ram with such familiarity. And if Lady Beatrice didn’t steal Ram’s cookies, then who did?”
“I don’t know that… But I wonder what that sweet aroma permeating from this girl’s mouth is? That’s the impression I get from her.”
“Beatrice?!”
Still tied up and lying on her side, Beatrice sold Emilia out even though she was trying to defend her on the witness stand. And in fact, Emilia did recall eating a cookie. She wanted to claim it was a gift from Clind, but the mood in the court immediately turned against her.
“Wait, wait, not so fast! I don’t know why, but I’ve got a really bad feeling about this!”
“Well…I suppose if this girl genuinely is the thief, all she needed to do was sit back quietly and watch Beatrice’s head fly. Yet she came forward… Guilty conscience got the better of you?”
“Won’t you even entertain the possibility I’m not a thief?!”
Emilia’s face went pale. At this rate, she would be found guilty. But a hand of mercy reached out to this pitiful defendant—it was the kind little sister who stood behind the icy queen.
“Sister, Sister, I really don’t think that young lady is even capable of crime…”
“I see. Well, if you say so, Rem, then it very well may be true.”
Rem’s intercession finally got Ram to accept how irrational her argument was. As Emilia sighed in relief, narrowly escaping her predicament—
“That’s right, it’s pure nonsense—Emilia-tan could never be a criminal!”
“Cuteness is justice! Pretty girls are treasures! Emilia-tan is my waifu!”
“While we’re at it, threaten Beako more and make her cry! Take her to the edge!”
One rowdy voice after another shot from the bleachers until all eyes turned to them. And sure enough, there were the three Subarus: cat-eared, rabbit-eared, and hatted. Apparently, the tea party was over.
“Subarus, are you acquainted with this young lady?” Rem asked the three Subarus.
All three flashed their white teeth and said, “Yeah, she’s an acquaintance!” “She’s our tea-party friend!” “Let’s just say it’s complicated!”
“Is that so?” Ram gave their three replies a satisfied nod. Then with a glance at Emilia, she smiled lovingly—enough to make a person swoon—and made her decision.
“Off with her head.”
“WHAAAAT?!”
“Very well. Off with her head, then.”
“Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Guys, don’t you think this is crazy?! What’s come over all of you?!”
Flustered, Emilia pleaded her innocence, but Queen Ram and Prime Minister Rem ignored her completely.
The gavel loudly pounded on the platform, and a bunch of Pucks dressed as soldiers pushed themselves inside in a solid wall. Look right, look left—nothing but Pucks.
“Ah! Why’re they cute?!”
Surrounded by these strange Pucks—some in armor, some dressed as gardeners, some as playing cards—Emilia tasted a mixture of terror and bliss.
“S-Subaru!”
“I just hope somebody uncovers the truth someday—that’s our earnest wish.”
“Subarus, you big dummies!”
“Pehhh!”
The three Subarus each stuck out their tongues as the herd of Pucks swallowed Emilia, who had no means of escape.
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