3
As you might guess, her adventure did not end there.
It didn’t end, but Emilia’s feet had stopped moving. And that was after walking for a while down a path lit only by the help of some lesser spirits.
“Stop right there. Fiends like you are not welcome beyond this point, I suppose.”
When yet another voice came from above, Emilia’s eyes darted around, looking for its owner. Then when she spotted a silhouette of someone lying down on a tree branch, her hands leaped to her mouth to suppress a shriek.
Atop the branch, lying on her side, was Beatrice, glaring down at Emilia with sleepy eyes. She wore her glamorous dress and sausage-roll curls, and she also puffed and snorted through a pipe coming out of her mouth.
“Look at you, sitting on the dirt. What an ill-mannered girl you are. I wonder what your parents are like.”
“Beatrice, you…”
“Humph. Too late now to notice who I am and realize how rude you’ve been to me. Though, if you repent, I suppose I might forgive you…”
“You’re so young; you shouldn’t smoke! And you shouldn’t smoke even when you grow up! Smoking stunts your growth—Subaru told me so!”
Witnessing the underage girl smoking before her, Emilia slammed her with a rational observation. Beatrice’s mouth opened in surprise, the pipe falling from it. Then she glared at Emilia and growled, “H-how humiliating! Treating Betty like a child—is your head on straight, I wonder?! I am a sophisticated lady! And a pipe is a mark of a sophisticated lady’s good taste!”
“See, trying to act grown-up like that… It’s kind of childish.”
“Skreee! How dare you!”
Her face bright red, Beatrice fumed, pounding the branch in frustration. But as a sensible adult, Emilia couldn’t let Beatrice’s actions slide. Furthermore, Emilia might become the kingdom’s next ruler. She would not yield an inch.
“Whoa there, you two. Leave it at that. You’re scaring the flowers of the forest.”
It was then that a mysterious person popped in suddenly to break up their fight. The black-haired boy reached a hand to Emilia and looked up at Beatrice in the tree. And even from the back, Emilia recognized him easily.
“Subaru?”
“Wrong, young lady. I’m not Subaru—I’m Cheshire Subaru!”
Cheshire Subaru spun around, held up a thumb, and gleamed his white teeth. He was undoubtedly Subaru. But upon closer glance, he did have cat ears coming out of the top of his head. And since he also had his human ears in their normal location, he had four ears. The effect was a little grotesque.
“Yikes… Why did such a deplorable person have to show his face here, I wonder?”
“If you don’t like me, then back off, Beako. Just FYI, Cheshire Subaru is a phantom who pops up in random places. I can watch you go about your life from one good morning to the next.”
“All day—how deplorable can you be?! You think you’ve won, I wonder?!”
With the words “I wonder… I wonder…” echoing behind her, Beatrice skillfully jumped off the tree branch and ran out of sight. After she was gone, Cheshire Subaru turned to Emilia and said, “Now I’ve gone and needlessly bullied another young girl. It’d be nice to taste defeat just once.”
“But I wasn’t finished scolding Beatrice yet. And those ears are ridiculous—I know you all are playing tricks on me. I’m getting angry.”
“And you’re very pretty when you’re angry— Eek! Ouch, stop pulling! You’ll rip them off!”
Taking her anger out on Cheshire Subaru, Emilia yanked on his cat ears. But what she thought were prosthetics were warm, soft, and properly attached to his head. As Emilia recoiled in shock, Cheshire Subaru fell to his knees, his eyes filling with tears.
“Look, I don’t know why you’re so pissed off, but if you keep screeching like that, everyone’ll be scared of you. A girl’s greatest weapon is to smile and playfully say, ‘PWNED!’”
“I didn’t quite understand that last part…but yeah, you’re right.”
If she responded only in anger, she would frighten everyone. Hearing the words directed at her made Emilia shrink in self-pity. Seeing this, Cheshire Subaru looked up, drew his brows together, and said, “Okay. Whenever you’re bummed out, you need to party. So I’ll bring you to a tea party!”
“A tea party?”
“You bet. It’s being held in the forest right now. A lively, loud, and mad-headed tea party!”
After an oddly worrisome invitation from Cheshire Subaru, Emilia followed him through the forest. A short walk brought them to a clearing with a small cottage. The cottage blended in with the trees, and in its garden, there was a big table set up for a large gathering of people. And the guests waiting there for the tea party were—
“Oh…hi, Cheshire Subaru. So you showed up.”
“Now this isn’t gonna feel like a funeral with just two guys in attendance…”
Two very depressed-looking boys—or rather, two Subarus with depressed-looking faces—were seated at the table. Met by the surreal tableau, Emilia forgot her malaise and blurted out in shock, “Th-three Subarus? Cheshire Subaru, what’s going on?”
“Don’t understand what you’re talking about, Emilia-tan. That’s Hatter Subaru and March Subaru. See the hat and the rabbit ears? That’s how you tell them apart.”
Emilia glanced over at the droopy pair, and sure enough, they each had the distinguishing hat and rabbit ears Cheshire Subaru mentioned. And with the cat-eared Subaru among them, it made no sense whatsoever.
As Emilia’s eyes swam in confusion, Cheshire Subaru slinked into a seat and shrugged at the two blank-eyed Subarus beside him. “C’mon, guys, don’t be so bummed. You invited a bunch of people, and nobody showed—that’s totally normal.”
“Yeah, but isn’t it also normal to hope that this time will be different? Maybe they couldn’t call because the connection was bad, and that’s why they’re late to RSVP.”
“Well, we did make it an overnighter that started yesterday. But if somebody did show up, I’d say, It’s okay, you didn’t make us wait—nice guy that I am, March Subaru.”
“Whoa, shut up, sexy.” “Ooh, I’m totally crushing on me.” “Is it finally my time? Will I finally get to taste what it’s like to be popular?”
The three Subarus looked up and jabbered nonsense at one another. The funeral-like atmosphere of the party vanished at once, replaced with a lively mood—it was surreal, really.
The lively, loud, and mad-headed tea party had objectively earned its title with flying colors.
“Ooh, that’s right! For you poor, sad, pitiful souls, I’ve actually brought you a guest today! It’s okay, clap for my epic play.”
“Who’s the guest? Lemme guess, you got our hopes up only to reveal you brought a bored Beako with you? You can’t fool us. We know you’re useless.”
“Well, Beako’s better than nobody. Okay! Let’s put a buttload of sugar in Beako’s tea and bet on how long she lasts before she blows her top! I bet five minutes!”
“As appealing as that sounds, you’re wrong, my dude. I brought a different, non-Beako girl today. And she’s crazy cute. She’s a walking oasis in the middle of the forest that will soothe our parched hearts—and her name is Emilia-tan!”
Bringing his spiel up to a crescendo, Cheshire Subaru pointed toward the forest. Hatter Subaru and March Subaru, their eyes glittering with anticipation, looked in that direction. However—
“Nobody’s there, dumbass!!”
Afraid of getting wrapped up in their madness, Emilia had run away long ago.
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