3
“It’s been a string of misses since coming to this tower.”
They were gathered in the base room having dinner when Ram’s murmur slipped out.
That blunt statement was an accurate enough depiction of the party’s current state that no one could really argue it. They all understood the feeling that made Ram want to grumble, too.
They’d suffered so much in order to reach the tower, but the trials and tribulations just kept coming.
The difficulties of the examination on the second floor, the problem of Anastasia and Echidna, plus Meili’s death added on top, and though he hadn’t mentioned it this time, Subaru’s memory loss should have also been included in the pile.
It would almost be easier to say their journey was cursed.
Everyone’s expressions were dark, and they looked exhausted. Changing their plans for the afternoon, they’d spent all their time searching for Meili, and yet they turned up nothing. The feeling of futility from a swing and a miss was worse than expected.
In the end, it just made dinner’s flavorless soup taste all the more salty.
“To check, I even went to ask Reid, but he said he hadn’t seen her. And that he was bored because no one had come since yesterday… I think he probably wasn’t lying.”
“As outrageous a man as he is, it is scary that Betty cannot say for sure that he is not one who would take pleasure in hurting a child…but Betty trusts Emilia’s instinct.”
Subaru’s body cowered on an instinctive level when the red-haired, one-eyed man who was the second-floor guardian came up in conversation.
That man had left nothing but the worst possible impression on Subaru, but fortunately Emilia had come back safely from taking his statement. Not that I have a right to feel relief from hearing that.
“Today’s results were unfortunate. But tomorrow…”
“Sorry, but if you intend to keep searching for her tomorrow, I’m going to have to object.”
“Echidna…?!”
Emilia had just been about to pull herself together for tomorrow when Echidna’s cold judgment interrupted. Emilia pursed her lips.
“We can’t do that! Who knows what she’s feeling—”
“She doesn’t have any ability to feel emotions like that anymore. The book of the dead Natsuki checked made that clear. We can’t afford to waste any more time like this.”
“…That’s a rather hasty judgment.”
Emilia couldn’t meet Echidna’s logic with anything other than pathos, so Beatrice quietly stared her down in Emilia’s stead.
“Even if it is a logical judgment, it makes Betty disinclined to agree. Do you have a reason for saying that?”
“…Is it really that strange? There’s a limit to our supplies, and the longer we stay here, the greater the burden for both of our camps. And we have no way of contacting her.”
“That is a reasonable assessment. Lady Emilia and Lady Anastasia—though one of them technically isn’t fully present—are both important figures taking part in the royal selection. Neither should be staying in this desert tower for an extended period.”
Beatrice parried Echidna, but it was Ram, a fellow member of Emilia’s faction, who agreed with Echidna.
The difference in how they felt about clearing the tower and their future plans was starting to show.
“I don’t like this. If you’re going to get into it, then do it somewhere away from me and Master. I’m just gonna build a happy family with Master. One daughter, two sons, and three concubines.”
“…You stay quiet.”
Shaula stuck out her and scooted over next to Subaru. Ordinarily she’d interacted with Meili a lot, but with Meili gone, she had focused her sudden flippant outbursts more on Subaru.
Even though he responded perfunctorily, he had his own thoughts about her general attitude. Not how unconcerned she was with the outcome of the current debate, but with how she’d acted in the archive.
She had looked to him for a direct order. What had she wanted to hear from him? How much would she actually do if Subaru specifically asked for it?
—What would have happened if he hadn’t given up on using the books of the dead?
“That’s enough arguing.”
Julius’s voice disrupted the tense mood and Subaru’s thoughts.
Anguish etched into the creases in his brow, he held his hand up, stopping Echidna, and nodded at Beatrice and Emilia.
“I apologize for what was a statement that could be easily misconstrued. But I would ask you to understand, she…Echidna is not just proposing it for no reason.”
“Stop it, Julius. That’s…”
“Lady Emilia’s camp may well have lost the girl who was accompanying them. On top of that, it is not desirable to hide things. We should demonstrate our sincerity as well.”
Echidna swallowed what she was about to say. Seeing that, Julius turned to the others.
“As we discussed, Echidna currently has control of Lady Anastasia’s body. On top of that, this state is wearing away at Lady Anastasia’s Odo and it cannot be maintained indefinitely.”
“Wearing away at her Odo… Wait, has that been happening the whole time she’s been sleeping?” Emilia asked.
“…I see. I suppose that is why you want to hurry to clear the tower.”
The secret Julius revealed left Emilia and Beatrice stunned.
Hearing the word Odo, Subaru couldn’t really understand anything other than the vague nuance. Odo and mana sounded like the usual terms that came up in magical fantasies. But judging from everyone else’s reaction, it was an important thing not to lose.
Echidna heaved her shoulders.
“There’s not much point in keeping up appearances now. Julius is telling the truth. Just by being in this state, I’m shortening Ana’s life. I want to give her body back to her as soon as possible.”
“Even if it means letting go of the human body that has given you freedom, I wonder?” Beatrice intimated.
“I never wanted this to happen, either. Even with control of Ana’s body, my heart is still bound. And, it might be strange for an artificial spirit to say this, but…I think things should stick to the containers they were meant to have. If you just borrow someone’s appearance, so long as the contents don’t match it will come out in the end. It becomes unnatural. It’s a revolting thing.”
“—!”
Echidna was deliberately avoiding their eyes, and it sounded as if she was cursing herself. But the same words tore deep into Subaru’s heart, too, just when he was least expecting it.
Borrowing appearances when the contents didn’t match… Coming face-to-face with that idea was a heavy blow.
“It might not be any consolation, but if the knowledge of the sage who was said to be all-knowing is hidden away somewhere in this tower, then it might also be able to guide us to wherever she ended up. In that sense as well, it’s logical to prioritize clearing this tower… Though I admit it is an unfair argument,” Echidna concluded.
“No. Thank you. You were worrying about me and Meili, too, weren’t you?”
When Emilia indicated she was willing to go along with her proposition, Echidna looked away, embarrassed. “…Hard to say. Maybe I only care about Ana’s body.”
Smiling faintly at that, Emilia’s cheeks tensed, and she affirmed the decision.
“I am really worried about Meili. But I understand Echidna’s feelings, too. So starting tomorrow, let’s do what we can to get to the top of this tower. Of course, I intend to search for Meili as much as I can as well…”
“That is putting the cart before the horse if you let it get in the way of clearing the tower, Lady Emilia.”
“I understand, Ram. I have to think for myself about what is most important.”
Putting her hand to her chest, Emilia warned herself.
And then she turned to Subaru, who had been watching the exchange at a distance. For a second, he was overwhelmed by the force of her gaze, but what followed was not an accusation.
“Are you okay with that, too, Subaru?”
“…Yeah, that’s fine. That’s what Meili would… Wait, why are you asking me?”
“Since you were the one who read her book, obviously. With how bad it seemed, you would be the one most worried about Meili.”
Subaru gulped at her reminder.
A quick look revealed that Emilia wasn’t the only one staring at him. Beatrice, Ram, Echidna, Julius, Shaula, they were all studying him.
His mind couldn’t begin to imagine what intent lay behind their gazes.
And with his head not working, he followed his cowardly heart.
“—I am worried. But I don’t think Meili would want us to end up stuck here, either.”
“Wow, so wonderful, mister. Even though you don’t believe that at all yourself.”
The girl watching from the back of his mind laughed at his terrible, superficial answer. But even knowing that, Subaru managed to hold his act together and desperately think.
—What do I take and what do I abandon? I have to decide where I stand soon.
As a bit of an aside, there is a famous saying.
Murder is a habit.
This is a quote from the famous detective Hercule Poirot.
Not because humans who kill people grow fond of killing and eventually repeat their crimes in order to fulfill those desires. No, it’s because someone who resorts to murder once in order to resolve a problem will, when faced with a new problem, inevitably be tempted to consider the same method they used once before.
From the moment they consider the possibility of murdering someone who need not be killed, they have already made a grave mistake.
Even if they hadn’t killed of their own volition the first time, even if they despised the act of killing, even if they had seen the entire murder from the victim’s perspective, the habit becomes harder and harder to shake.
It becomes something that won’t go away.
—Murder is a habit.
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