Chapter 5: My tragedy is still showing no signs of ending
Part 1
After returning home and entering my room, my heart felt relieved.
Some alone time at last. Was alone time always something so wonderful?
But, I can’t spend this time at ease. Bearing in mind the heavy-grade problem I learned about today, I have to think about various things otherwise…
Himawari and Cosmos’s matter…… That’s fine for now right?
Rather than that, Sun-chan’s matter.
I can’t believe it…… Why would Sun-chan like Pansy of all people……
First of all, let me once again explain the situation in an easy to understand way.
Cosmos, Himawari (like) Sun-chan (likes) Pansy (likes) Me?
Unexpectedly, the two groups have combined together, but this has created an overwhelming despair
What dreadful one way traffic. I want to change these vectors except for mine by all means.
Furthermore, I can’t tell Cosmos or Himawari about the person Sun-chan likes.
Or maybe I should say I don’t want to tell them. Instead, I want to erase it from my memories.
But, reality is uncertain and if I want?The End?to come at the timing I want, then I need to think up a solution.
From good plans to bad plans, I need to think of everything while also thinking about their implementations.
Outcome one: Himawari or Cosmos goes out with Sun-chan.
There are two plans, plan A and plan B, that can make this a reality.
Plan A is to move Sun-chan’s heart by getting him to notice Himawari or Cosmos’ good points.
I want to make Sun-chan think “Aah, rather than Pansy, she is a more pleasant girl isn’t she” for one of them. That would be the best case.
But, this is difficult. Once Sun-chan decides on something, he’s stubborn and won’t give up.
He’s the type to rush in recklessly. Charging in earnestly.
Therefore, rejected.
Plan B is Sun-chan getting rejected by Pansy. If this happens, then the following applies. During the down in his up and downs, Sun-chan is unusally frail. Because he liked Pansy, he’ll feel depressed and that time is the best time to invade his heart. In other words, after Pansy rejects him very harshly, if Himawari or Cosmos swoop in and use affectionate words then he will easily fall right?
But, this is also difficult. Sun-chan isn’t going to confess to Pansy after all.
As you just saw from today’s affairs, it doesn’t seem like Sun-chan will confess to her.
At any rate, he basically has no experience talking to her.
Therefore, rejected.
Outcome Two: Sun-chan and Pansy go out with each other.
Impossible. I can’t even imagine this. ??????? ????????????
After all, it’s that Pansy you know? That ill-natured girl doesn’t seem like she would go out with a guy like Sun-chan at all. More than anything, I can’t believe that that girl told me she likes me.
I’ve been thinking this after dealing with her recently but, that girl is also quite stubborn. She’s the self-determining type who doesn’t give up.
She even has a extremely good sixth sense for troublesome things. She might even be an ESPer 1 .
She understood everything the moment I talked about Sun-chan’s matter, and there no doubt she can be worse than the most horrible thing I can imagine.
Therefore, rejected.
Outcome three: I go out with Himawari or Cosmos.
Nope. This is also a no go. Actually, this is the one that will definitely not happen.
In the first place, there’s a fundamental problem that isn’t resolved at all.
If I date one of them, then there’s still one left and I will inevitably end up cooperating with them.
Rather, it seems like they would say something like “You’ve become happy so now help me out more”.
I don’t want to have a drawn out war, so I have no plans on doing that.
For the sake of my mental health, I want to solve this problem within one month.
Therefore, rejected.
Outcome four: Me and Pansy go out with each other.
Therefore, rejected.
I don’t even feel the need to think about this o… who is this? Who is sending messages at this time of day…
I want you to properly think about it~?
Like I said, don’t just calmly appear during my alone time!
Calm down. I only heard from the 4th one~?
I can’t calm down! Good grief, I don’t have any relief items.
Haa……?
I turned my phone off.
Jeez, should I just turn my phone off whenever I’m at home?
Now then, putting that aside, everything was “therefore, rejected” in the end.
It can’t be solved like this. Nothing can solve this problem.
What do I do? What would be the best thing to do?
I think about all the plans I thought up until now again in my head.
Think of the least risky, reliable, plan that has a peaceful ending.
……I guess it can’t be helped. If I compare it to the other plans, that plan seems to be safe so let’s go with it.
In any case, that ESPer is a problem. As soon as she sees my face, she’ll realize something is up.
If that’s the case then I’ll just say it now. ????????????????
That’s right. My choice is “Outcome two”.
***
No matter how much you don’t want to do it…… If you decide to do it, do it. That’s my motto.
During the next day’s lunch break, I opened the door to the eternally gloomy feeling library, and already, Pansy was on standby in the reading space.
Hello Jouro-kun. I baked cookies today, so let’s eat them together~?
While I sat down on a chair, Pansy took out and presented a drawstring bag containing cookies in high spirits.
Why did you make and bring these cookies? Well, whatever.
Today, I have that to be concerned about, so I have no time for fun and games.
Pansy. I have something to say.?
In response to my words, Pansy pouted. Suddenly, she forced a cookie on me just like that.
The cookies come first~?
I?
Cookies~?
Pushing a cookie strongly against my mouth, Pansy appealed to me to eat.
Because I didn’t have the time to waste on quarreling here, I grabbed the cookie from Pansy’s hands and took a bite. I ate it quickly, so that it was impossible for a “say aah~” situation to happen.
Is it delicious??
You, go out with Sun-chan.?
In response to Pansy’s quesiton, I said that.
In that moment, Pansy’s eyes became slightly sharper.
No way.?
No, go out with him.?
You’re being pushy, don’t you think??
I’m being pushy.?
How did it end up with this??
Figure it out.?
When you asked Ooga-kun about the person he liked, it ended up being me right? Then, stupid you thought about what would be good to do. One, “Hinata-san or Akino-senpai goes out with Ooga-kun”; Two, “I go out with Ooga-kun”; Three, “Jouro-kun goes out with Hinata-san or Akino-senpai”; Four, “I go out with Jouro-kun”. Out of those four outcomes, the simpleton you figured I would find out about your plan regardless and decided to pick outcome two, and now you’re trying to get me and Ooga-kun to go out with each other right? Out of all those choices, me going out with you would be the the most delightful~?
I didn’t need you to say what you understood up until there in detail! ……But, well that’s how it is!?
No way. Definitely no way.?
Pansy indifferently refused my words while using a tone in the key of B 2 .
Isn’t it fine? Sun-chan is a good guy. I can guarantee it.?
The person I like, the person that I always think of wanting to be together with… is only the person in front of my eyes right now.?
Bringing her face closer to me, Pansy said that with trembling lips.
Different from Cosmos and Himawari, a gentle scent and her powerful eyes seemed to capture my heart, and unconsciously made my heart flutter.
………Rejected. Go out with Sun-chan. It’ll be fine. It’ll go smoothly.?
Not good…… In order to avoid that moment, I may have said too much.
Oh well, I cant be worried about every little thing. Let’s just keep going like this.
I won’t go~?
Go.?
Give it up… please!??????????????!?
Ugh!?
I instinctively shrunk back from the strongest words Pansy has ever said until now.
Crazyy… As expected, maybe I went too far…?
……That was too insensitive.?
…I understand.?
Why would you say those cruel words? Even though, you know my feelings……?
This is her usual cold speech.
However that cold nature seemed to express Pansy’s feelings, making my feelings of guilt grow too much.
If the person you liked told you to go date someone else, it would hurt your feelings right??
…………………?
You won’t say anything??
What should I say? I don’t feel like dating Pansy at all.
Since that’s the case, I was thinking it would be better if she went out with Sun-chan.
So you won’t say anything. What a cruel person. Inconsiderately doing as you please. Not even thinking about me.?
It’s frustrating but it’s as she says. I didn’t think about Pansy’s feelings in the slightest.
Even though I wanted to eat cookies and talk together, we were unable to do that.?
…That’s, true.?
I somehow managed to squeeze out only those words. I… don’t deserve compassion.
You don’t have to come here for awhile.?
While strongly tying the string of the cookie bag, Pansy slammed me with that declaration.
Of course it would end up like this. Well, it’s my bad. No matter how you look at it, it’s my fault.
Goodbye to you, the worst, unkind, and rude Jouro-kun?
After glancing at me coldly, Pansy left the library with a fiercer pace than ever before.
While the door slammed shut with a bang, I unconsciously held my head in my hands. ?????????????????? ???????????????
Aah~ I really made her mad huh…..
But, I never thought she would get that angry.
I really underestimated her feelings……
Wait, what’s this? My smartphone is vibrating but… It’s Pansy though?
Come again starting on next week’s Tuesday okay??
Are you mad or are you not mad, which is it?
In the first place, why Tuesday and not Monday?
Things will probably get interesting during that time. And… Just a little delightful too~?
……What do you mean things will get interesting? And also what will be delightful?
Are you actually not angry?
That’s a secret. Of course, I am really mad you know??
Even though you’re mad, a ridiculous conversation came.
I understand. And also… Sorry.?
That last message was from me. For the first time, I sent Pansy a message.
However, I didn’t get a response from Pansy.
I didn’t expect anything from the beginning, but I felt lonely after not receiving any replies.
Reply back when you feel like it, Pansy.
***
TL notes
1 ESPers – people who have extrasensory perception, aka 6th sense
2 Music term
Part 2
***
And then, when I made BLT sandwiches for him, he ate them happily!?
Okay.?
But, the I am a little concerned about what he likes and dislikes. Does he really not dislike anything? Truth is, I’m sorry that I couldn’t take this into consideration but,?
Food that Sun-chan doesn’t like? I’ve never heard of any.
Uhm… Have you not heard of any? About the food that he doesn’t like and stuff.?
No, I haven’t really heard of any. He eats anything like it’s delicious.?
That’s a relief! Recently, since I’ve managed to build a good relationship with him, umm… Next time, I’d like for just the two of us to go home together but… Do you think you could do something??
Sitting next to me in the Student Council room, Cosmos was openly acting in high spirits, but I’m sorry, I’m not in the mood to join in.
…Aah~ I went and did it! I went and made Pansy mad!
It’s crazy right. Making that girl angry is quite unwise I think.
Honestly, making Cosmos or Himawari angry would be more preferable than this.
But, it was clearly my fault. I can’t think of anything besides apologizing.
Aah, doing something like an apology kiss is completely out of the question.
I’ve reflected on my actions but, my feelings of hatred for Pansy have not changed.
That is an unshakable truth.
Uhh…. Jouro-kun? Did something happen today??
Huh??
It feels like your spirit has been drained from your eyes. Usually you’re a little more… Aaah! This kind of abstract talk is hard. Anyways, it seems like you’re not feeling well.?
Is that so??
Yes it is.?
Cosmos’ gentle smile and warm voice added on more to my guilt.
At any rate, I betrayed her and Himawari, trying to set Sun-chan up with another girl.
Regardless, taking advantage of her kindness in this situation, is too selfish right?
I’ve decided that to be unacceptable.
Please don’t worry about it. Rather than that look, it’s almost time to meet up with Sun-chan.?
Oh, that’s true! That’s not good. Uhm, is there anything about me that looks weird??
None at all. You’re as beautiful as always.?
Is that so! Thanks!?
Ah, that’s right, president Cosmos,?
Hmm? What’s wrong Jouro-kun??
If you want to go home together with just Sun-chan, it’ll be good if you tell him “Talking together with you is fun”. I’m sure he’ll be pleased.?
Got it! I’ll work hard! ????! ????????
Well, although I won’t be apologizing to her, I’ll properly help her out today.
***
Today as well, after each of our business… after the student council and club ended, we met up at the main gate.
Thanks for waitin’.?
No, we didn’t wait that long.?
Hehe, that so??
Yup.?
With a gentle smile, Cosmos talked to Sun-chan. Seeing her being like this, she has really grown.
Even though the best she could do before was put on a fur seal-like expression and talk with a trembling voice, today, she was talking with Sun-chan in a composed manner.
And, this is about lunch tomorrow but, is there anything you want to eat??
Hmm let’s see. Anything, anything is fine I think.?
Since I’m doing it anyways, I want to make what you want to eat. Come on, I’ve been practicing my cooking too!?
Eh! Somehow when you say it like that I’m kinda embarrassed haha! But hmm….?
Sun-chan scratched his head and knitted his eyebrows together.
I see. This isn’t a face of modesty, but rather a face for when someone is troubled over not being able to think of anything.
If that’s the case, then I guess I’ll help him out.
If that’s the case, then I think that Kushikatsu 1 would be good. Kushikatsu is one of Sun-chan’s favourite foods after all.?
Phew. My support is skillful today as well.
If it’s a pass like this, Cosmos will also be able to decide calmly right? ……She will be able to decide, right?
Is that so!? Thanks Jouro-kun! Then, I’ll make kushikatsu for tomorrow!?
Alright, nice job Cosmos. With this, the developments afterwards should also move in a good direction.
For reals!? Ooohoooo! Cosmos-san, thank you very much!?
You don’t have to thank me so strongly like that… It’s a little, embarrassing……?
Squeezing her hands in front of her chest, Cosmos makes a lovely gesture.
Cosmos acts quite differently from her usual adult-like impression whenever Sun-chan is concerned.
Her lady-like gestures extremely eye catching.
Somehow, it seems like I’ve misunderstood Cosmos-san.?
Huh??
In response to Sun-chan who said that with a smile across his whole face, Cosmos, who didn’t know what he was talking about, had a little colour of anxiety light up her eyes.
It’s okay Cosmos.
When Sun-chan makes a face like that, he definitely won’t say anything inconvenient for you.
I thought you were a really serious, adult-like person but, after talking with you like this, in reality you’re just a cute, wonderful girl.?
Shuuu-po~ The Cosmos train is leaving the station~.
There was smoke coming from her head with a “bo-shuuuu” sound!
When I said she was beautiful she just let that pass, but when Sun-chan said she was cute it didn’t escape her ears.
Even if I said the same thing word for word, she wouldn’t react like that.
This is the difference between a protagonist and mob character huh? What a cruel world.
But, it’s too late to complain about that.
Let’s not think about every little thing. Right now, let’s focus on the higher priority things first.
Th, th-th-th-thanks.?
Hahaha, Cosmos-san, you’re face is red you know??
T-that’s not the case!?
Suu?re.?
Ah, that’s right. Sun-chan, president Cosmos, do you guys have a moment??
Oh? What’s up Jouro??
What is it Jouro-kun??
This Friday you see, I’ve got something I need to do after school, so is it okay if just the two of you go home together??
That’s completely fine with me!?
M- me too! Jouro-kun, me too!?
Sweet. Mission complete. Good bye Cosmos, do your best on Friday.
After I went home and finished changing clothes, I got a message from Cosmos saying “Thank you. I’ve really become dependent on you”.
Looking at that message and recalling Sun-chan’s feelings, a bitter feeling spilled out in my mind.
……Seriously, what should I do……
***
Early in the morning, I was walking on the path to school absentmindedly.
Yesterday night, I desperately thought about things after coming home, but as expected no solutions came to mind.
After that, I thought about plan one, “Cosmos or Himawari date Sun-chan”.
As for the matter with Pansy…… Well, I think I have a solution for that. I’m postponing it.
That shitty girl went and said what she pleased.
But, properly apologizing is probably for the best…
He~y Jouro, are you listening??
……Huh? Aah, yeah I’m listening.?
You’re talking about the strategy plan for this Saturday, where you and Sun-chan are going to see a movie right?
Not to mention your smile is shining like usual. I seriously understand your joy you know.
Then, what kind of look would be good? Should I try to do my best and wear something sexy??
Since you guys aren’t dating, I think dressing like usual is better.?
Muu?! Well then I won’t change anything! I wish you would think about it from my perspective as a girl!?
If you dress like you do usually, then you’ll be the cutest. It would be strange if you tried to dress fashionably right??
Is that so? Ehehe.?
Oh? Himawari became bashful. Cosmos just ignored me but it seems like it has an effect on Himawari. I don’t really care anymore though.
C’mon, it’s about time you go on ahead.?
That’s true! Then, I’ll be going! Thanks!?
See ya. Good luck okay??
Yup! Ah, also Jouro,?
And then, Himawari seemed to remember something and suddenly stopped walking and looked at me.
What’s up??
When you’re not feeling good, you’ll seriously feel depressed! If you don’t act lively, you won’t be encouraged!?
Saying only that, Himawari dashed away and left.
……Annoying. I’m not particularly depressed or anything yet.
***
TL notes
1 Kushikatsu – a japanese dish of deep fried, skewered meat and vegetables
Part 3
***
Sun-chan, I’m looking forward to Saturday!?
Yeah! I’m also looking forward to it too ya know!?
Staying true to what was said before, and even carrying out the plan as I entered the classroom, this girl, her senses are amazing.
Hmm? Taking a closer look, her gaze is looking towards me isn’t it?
I request back-up?
Ahh, I see. You want me to liven up the conversation with Sun-chan and create a good mood here huh?
Fine then. I also want to hurry and get this matter over with, so I’ll help you out.
What are you two talking about??
Good morning Jouro!?
Oh Jouro! Mornin’! Well you see, I’m going to hang out with Himawari on Saturday right? We were just talking about that.?
Heeeh. You guys kinda look like a couple before a date.?
Ehehehe??
Seeming happy, Himawari scratched her head.
That gesture is somewhat child-like but, well, it’s still in the safe zone.
What are ya saying? You and Himawari also go and hang out with each other right??
We haven’t been hanging out at all recently. Me and Himawari are already high school students. Going anywhere with just the two of us might create misunderstandings after all.?
That’s a lie, tee hee~! We went out together on Sunda~y.
Oh, is that so??
Yeah. But, if it’s you and Himawari then walking around the city suits you two, and I think you guys are good together. Since Himawari is also my childhood friend, I want you to make her happy.?
What a sacrificial service. You better be thankful Himawari.
O-oi oi?
Juust kiddin’. It’s a joke, a joke.?
I-is that so……?
But, I shouldn’t go overkill here, so let’s take it down a notch.
In the first place, I know who the girl Sun-chan likes is……
Alright then, I’m gonna head to my seat.?
Okay!?
Aye aye sir~?
When I returned to my seat, Himawari told me “Thank you” through eye contact.
Well, it’s not necessary to reply back.
But Himawari, no matter how happy you are, Sun-chan’s got his eyes set on another girl.
***
Now then, it’s already lunch break huh?
What should I do about this? Since Sun-chan always eats lunch with Cosmos on the roof, I won’t be feeling a chain of guilt right now but… I’m still feeling troubled.
By the way, I always tell Cosmos to not come to my classroom.
If she encountered Himawari, it would be bothersome.
Up until yesterday I would go to the library but I’ve been banned from there now.
How inconvenient……
Jouro-kun.?
While I was thinking about that absentmindedly, I heard a voice I would have never thought I would hear from behind me.
Uwaa! Pa………Sanshokuin-san!??
Yes that’s me.?
W-why are you here??
Because it’s lunch break you know.?
When I came back to reality, it seems like it’s now lunch break. 1
No wait, I don’t care about that.
That’s besides the point, why did the person who banned me from going to the library come to my classroom!?
And at the worst timing too.
Himawari isn’t here, but Sun-chan still hasn’t left to go to the rooftop yet.
And then, he obviously looked over here and said this while he came towards us.
U-uhm! Sanshokuin-san!?
What’s the matter Ooga-kun??
U-uhm. Are you and Jouro close with each other??
Of course he would ask that.
Yeah we are~?
Hey stop it. Don’t just say your one-sided thoughts and nonchalantly pass it off as a mutual thing.
I-I don’t think we’re that close though……?
How cruel. Even though you did that already.?
When I tried to oppose her to the best of my ability, a staggering counter-attack came.
Can you stop hugging your own body and slightly shaking?
Seriously, that will only create misunderstandings.
T-that!? Jo-Jouro! What did you do!??
N-nothing at all! Right, Sanshokuin-san??
Stop it Pansy. I’m begging you, don’t make things more complicated than they already are.
Yes. I didn’t do anything~?
Jo-Jouro!!?
Sun-chan grabbed my collars with all his might.
Thank god Himawari wasn’t here. That girl is eating with her friends in the cafeteria.
The moment she sees this situation, I will be dyed with blood.
Pansy, how are you able to find the right words to put me in difficult situations like this?
Is it that? Is this revenge? Is this revenge for what I did yesterday!?
Correct.?
Ah, is that so…… Your ESPer ability is on the ball today as well huh?
Now then, what will I do? Unless I tell Sun-chan about the situation, I won’t be able to move from here right?
Of course I won’t. Anyways, the girl that he likes came over to me, who he thought had no connections with her, and what’s more, she went and said something she shouldn’t have.
How will this play out?
First, Cosmos will start wondering why Sun-chan isn’t coming and come here.
Then, after finishing her meal in the cafeteria, Himawari will come here.
And then, both of them will come over to me and Sun-chan.
When it comes to love, those two will be able to understand Sun-chan’s feelings very well for no reason.
After, only a scene of hell comes to mind. That’s what I think will happen.
This is bad. This is bad you know? This is extremely bad. This is the worst situation I’ve faced yet.
Oi Jouro! Why are you not saying anything!?
Uhm… That’s…?
Say something please…… We… we’re best friends aren’t we??
Holding onto my collars and looking down, Sun-chan was shaking.
Glancing at Pansy, she had an indifferent expression like always.
It was as if she was like a mannequin, sometimes blinking slightly while watching over the situation.
It’s your fault that things became like this! Do you understand that!?
I wish you would return it quickly~?
Return what!? What are you saying so suddenly!?
”Records of Insect Fables”?
……Ah!?
I remembered about what she said.
That’s right. Last Wednesday, Pansy tricked me with that book, and I still haven’t returned it yet.
My school’s library has a one-week lending period. Today is Thursday, so it’s already been one day past the due date.
By any chance, is that why you came to me?
Pansy nodded with just her neck.
This is a helping hand from Pansy! I see. If that’s the case then I can survive this situation!
What? What are you saying? I tell me so that I understand too.?
No well you see, last Wednesday I went to the library and borrowed a book. It’s past the book’s return date, so that’s why Sanshokuin-san came to tell me about that. Right, Sanshokuin-san??
That’s right.?
Whether or not my gaze full of emotion, as if I was saying “please, please forgive me already” with all my might, reached Pansy, with her indifferent expression she nodded twice in agreement.
Thank god. It seems like this girl doesn’t intend on making the circumstances any worse.
But, Sun-chan doesn’t seem to believe us as he alternated his eyes full of doubt between us.
And then, his gaze stopped on Pansy instead of me, and he raised a question while trembling nervously.
Then, what is that??
That referred to not returning the book.?
What about you guys being close??
I, don’t have many friends. I don’t usually see Jouro-kun, but when we do meet, he’s a good person who I can properly talk to~?
Is, is that so…?
How dare you! Spitting out lies like that. I’m impressed.
……Sorry about that Jouro.?
At last, it seems like Sun-chan also understood, and he let go of my collars.
N-nah, it would’ve been better if I also properly explained the situation.?
If you hand it to me, I will go return it~?
Oh really? In that case……?
I rummaged through the inside of my desk, took out a book, and handed it to Pansy.
Here. Sorry about this, I’ll remember to return it on time next time.?
It’s fine~. Alright then.?
W-wait, Sanshokuin-san!?
Wow. Sun-chan called out to stop Pansy.
Please stop it~ After this, please don’t let weird things happen~
What’s the matter??
Uhm, you see…… Did you really come here today… just to only get back that book??
That’s wrong.?
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! 2
Huh??
I saw Jouro-kun’s troubled face. And so, I came to check on him after being worried about it.?
Saying only that, Pansy left our classroom.
Don’t say lines that seem to have some hidden meanings when you leave! That’s extremely suggestive!
Aah, this is bad. Pansy is not here anymore, but Sun-chan is making an extremely baffled face.
I need to change the subject or else……
D-don’t worry about it Sun-chan. That Sanshokuin-san, is a little weird you see……?
O-oh.?
Rather than that, I think you should hurry up and go or else you’ll keep President Cosmos waiting.?
Oops, that’s right. This isn’t good! Alright then, see ya Jouro!?
Hearing that, Sun-chan left the classroom in a panic.
Phew…… I think I just barely managed to gloss over all that?
At any rate, that Pansy… In terms of her revenge, there were plenty of other ways to get it.
How is she able to pinpoint and understand what I hate better than I can?
……Huh? At this time my smartphone is vibrating….
“I am always thinking about you”
“Is that so?”
“Have you reflected?”
“I have reflected enough. I won’t do it again.”
“If that’s the case then I’ll forgive you~”
“Also…those cookies, were delicious.”
“Then I’ll make them again. Thank you for the praise. I am very happy~”
That last message to Pansy used up all my strength. I fell flat on my desk.
Damn, I’m so tired already……
TL notes
1 I don’t know why it says this again even though he said it was lunch break in the first line…
2 He’s screaming.
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