Chapter 6: I never thought I would become like this
Part 1
Now then, I wonder if Cosmos is doing well?
Today is Friday and I told them that I have some business to attend to after the student council meeting in order to execute plan “Let Cosmos and Sun-chan walk home together”, and I went home straight away.
If you heard only that, you might think that I was focusing all my efforts on helping Cosmos, but that’s not the case. Tomorrow is Saturday, and Himawari will be facing her most crucial battle yet…… I also have a “Himawari and Sun-chan go see a movie together” plan.
The people in question said they would go like usual, but they had quite a lot of motivation.
Speaking of which, last week, I was also really enthusiastic too.
It hasn’t even passed a week since then, but it doesn’t feel like that.
It feels like an entire month has passed by. Just that feeling alone worries me.
Aah, right now I’m in my room. It’s time for the usual that, you know that.
Today I won’t think about those kinds of things. Changing the subject, what should I do next week?
Well, in the very, very unlikely event that Himawari decides to confess tomorrow and is successful, then this story can be over and my mental exhaustion will be greatly reduced. I’m hoping that peace and quiet will arrive, but the chances of that are very slim.
That’s why, I think that my worries won’t end next week.
……Speaking of which, Pansy said that something interesting would happen next Tuesday didn’t she.
At that time I made Pansy angry, so she was probably just saying whatever came to mind but… what’s with “Things will become interesting”?
Will Himawari and Cosmos find out about this love-square next week or something?
If that’s the case, it would be funny if my original objective was only 80% complete but, that won’t happen right?
Well honestly speaking, I don’t care about Himawari or Cosmos anymore.
They’re always going Sun-chan this, and Sun-chan that, only thinking of me as just a kind friend. Of course I would cool down after being treated like this.
Neither of them are aware of my feelings, and even if they did, they would probably grow cold and not mind it. Fuck!
I wish that either one of them, or even Pansy would just hurry up and go out with Sun-chan already.
And, I want to be freed from them. From this problem too. From Pansy too.
And encounter a lovely girl while I’m at it.
Aaah, there’s no way a good girl will just fall into my hands like that! Someone who will love me unconditionally, a really beautiful girl with big breasts. An adult-like girl with a quiet personality would be good!?
While I was shouting, my phone’s ringtone sounded out.
Is something the matter??
Not you! You flat, ugly girl!?
After reflexively screaming that out, I sent the exact same words in a text.
Jeez seriously, where is that girl watching me from?
She didn’t plant any listening devices or cameras in here did she?
Nah no way, there’s no way that girl would do something like that right?
Rather, if she did do that, I’d lose all my dignity. Okay, let’s stop thinking about that now.
Huh??
Just then, my phone rang out a second time. What is it? That Pansy, does she still need something?
Checking my phone thinking that, it turned out to be Cosmos instead of Pansy.
Can we meet tomorrow??
……This has to do with today. Something must’ve happened while they walked home right? There’s no mistake about it.
Don’t tell me, Cosmos, did she confess?
That girl has a girly side to her too huh.
Her tension would’ve been high while they were walking home, it’s not surprising for her to be caught up in the moment.
And then it was a total sinker or something!
Then after calming down, she messaged me. That’s likely enough.
The opposite is impossible. If she wasn’t rejected then instead of that short message, she would’ve definitely sent a message with more energy like “It went so well! Thanks! It’s seriously all thanks to you!” or something.
Jeez… I went out with Cosmos last Saturday, and I have to go out with her again this week too.
When I think that, I want to lament about why I am using up even my days off for the sake of someone else’s love life. However, I want to solve this problem as soon as possible, so being unable to refuse, I replied to her saying “I understand”.
***
The meeting place is the same as before. A place in front of the police office near the station.
This time I wasn’t so eager and went an hour early.
I went to the meeting place and made it there exactly on time. I am more or less still dressed stylishly though……
That Cosmos, last time she came half an hour early, but what about this time?
She’s a serious-type girl. She might have also come half an hour early this time too.
Well, that’s not my problem.
Now then, did Cosmos get here already?
I looked around at my surround…ings.
I looked… but, uwaa… That’s awful.
She’s got a completely exhausted face. As if she was trying to depict the state of her heart, she wore a pure white dress and had her shoulders hanging down. Then suddenly, her head dropped down and her prided long hair overlapped on itself, as if she was something that would fly out from a screen when you watch a certain video tape. 1
In a different sense from usual, she’s gathering everyone’s attention.
This is, the figure of someone who got rejected…
I went and more or less thought of some comforting words to say, let’s somehow get through today using those.
P-president Cosmos.?
I hesitated on whether or not to call out to her for a moment.
Saying bluntly, she’s scary. Dark Cosmos is in her own genre of scariness, but anyways she’s scary.
H-hey……?
This wasn’t her usual bright “hey” full of spirit. Being all gloomy, as if she was watching the end of the world, it was a “hey” full of despair.
Don’t meet up with people in that state. It’s rude.
Wh-what’s the matter??
Let’s not talk about that here. Let’s find somewhere else okay??
I-I understand.?
Hearing my reply, Cosmos led the way as we walked in that faithful state. 2
I’m begging you, return back to normal already. I want you to feel like me as you walk like that.
***
Following faithful Cosmos, we headed to the cafe from before.
A completely plain cafe.
It’s a shop with a green mark logo with a woman wearing a crown and a star mark inside it that stands out.
For the time being, because I didn’t want to line up together with her, I asked Cosmos to go secure some seats, while I was in charge of buying and transporting the drinks. Fuu… It’s a little time for me to rest.
Afterwards, from the skilled hands of a shop employee, a carried a tray with the prepared drinks on it.
….Uwao?
I’m speechless.
When it comes to Cosmos-san, then she’s drawing lines one after another in her notebook, still gloomy.
I could hear “Eliminate. Eliminate. Eliminate. Eliminate”. Where is Mikami-san I wonder? 3
I have to go over there right now!? No way, I seriously don’t want to go though….
Uhm… Are you feeling okay??
Aaah, I’m feeeling fineee.?
No matter how you look at it you’re not fine.
Peeking at her notebook, the lines were drawn through “I want to be together with Sun-chan”.
The notebook was filled with horizontal lines which could be said to represent Cosmos’ despair.
And, what’s the matter??
I asked her with a tinge of worry but, honestly, I have already guessed what happened.
Cosmos is heart-broken. No matter how you look at it, she’s heart-broken.
I could take advantage of her right now but, that feeling has already faded away so I won’t.
Well, since it’s her then other guys would seize this opportunity you know. Anyways, cheer up.
Enduring the gazes pouring in from my surroundings is painful no matter what.
That’s… On Friday you see…….?
From here on Cosmos’ story about what happened after school on Friday starts. (? Because I wasn’t there, please enjoy this monologue without my remarks this time. It seems like the setting is a park on the way home from school.)
***
Thank you for today too! It was really delish!?
I-is that so? If you enjoyed it, then that makes me happy too.?
But, only eating your food makes me feel kinda guilty. Cosmos-san, is there anyway I can thank you??
I-it’s fine! You’ve helped me out enough, I’m already satisfied with that!?
No but, I still feel sorry! Please let me thank you somehow!?
I-is that so? Let’s see… Then how about…?
Anythin’ is fine! Ah, but any unreasonable things are impossible okay??
Hahaha. What did you think I would request of you? I won’t ask you to do anything difficult.?
Then don’t worry! What should I do??
Let’s see. Hmm… If you don’t want to do it you can refuse but……?
Sure!?
From here on out too, will you talk with me on the way home like this? When I talk with you, it’s really fun and… I feel happy.?
Do ya mean, without Jouro??
O-of course it’s not a problem if Jouro-kun is there but, it would be nice if it was just… us, every once in awhile.?
That’s fine with me! There’s stuff you don’t want Jouro to hear or something right! If that’s the case, we can go home with just the two of us every now and then! If it’s Jouro, then he’ll be understanding about it.?
R-really!? Thank you……?
No problem! But, are you really okay with something like that as thanks??
It’s enough! It’s the best thing for me.?
Aight! ……Ah. That’s right. Cosmos-san.?
W-what’s up??
Cosmos-san, do you have anyone you like??
Eh, oh, m- me!??
Ah, that reaction. You do don’t you.?
W-what’s the matter so suddenly!??
No well, Jouro asked me the same question awhile ago.?
I, I see. When you were talking to Jouro huh…… So that means, you also have someone you like??
Ah! If you say it like that it’s kinda embarassin’…… Well but… That’s right. Yes! I do!?
U-uhm…… If it’s okay with you……is it okay if I hear about them??
Somehow when you ask like that it’s kinda embarrassing. But, this might be the best opportunity.?
Best opportunity??
Yes! I’ve decided to tell you! No, I’ll definitely tell only you!?
O-only me~?
I, uh……?
Y-yeah……?
I like Sumireko Sanshokuin-san!?
. . . . . . . . . . . Huh??
Sumireko Sanshokuin-san is a girl on the library committee! I have been in love with her since last year, but I haven’t been able to get closer to her so…… If you know of any good ways to get closer with her, I would like to receive some advice from you!?
Sa-Sanshokuin-san……??
Yeah! Since you’re the student council president, you’d probably know what kind of personality would go best with Sanshokuin-san! That’s why, uhm…… If you don’t mind, I want you to help me out!?
Y-you want me…… to help??
Yes! Ah…… Is it no good after all??
N-no! That’s not it! It’s fine actually! Just leave it to me!?
Are you serious! Thank you very much! You’re a life-saver!?
***
…Sun-chan what the hell are you doing!? That’s not good! That’s the worst thing you could do!
That being the case, what a good way to dump her! That way is still preferable!
You… knew about it didn’t you??
Cosmos looked at me sharply.
Scary. Too scary… Dark Cosmos is also scary but, right now her voice sounds as if it was an abyss, so let’s name this Abyss Cosmos.
-Wait, this isn’t the place for that!
I… knew…?
Why… why didn’t you say anything??
Cosmos began to cry while saying those words.
This is the first time I’ve seen Cosmos cry like this.
Because she was so tough no matter what happened, I thought she never cried.
Can’t you… tell me the reason…??
Listen to the reason okay?
Cosmos’ unsteady, tragic aura attacked me all at once.
But, like usual I aimed to appeal to her emotions and put together my words.
I understood how much you liked Sun-chan. Even then, Sun-chan liked a different girl… I couldn’t say it you know??
These are my true feelings.
I did help her out but, Cosmos tried her very best and worked hard in her own way.
So then to prevent her from quitting after finding out Sun-chan liked another girl, I didn’t thoughtlessly say anything.
Even if he did have a girl that he liked, there was the possibility that he would look over his shoulders. 4
That’s the reason why you didn’t tell me? Seriously… is that all??
Eh??
Cosmos’ suggestive words confused me. What is she saying? It’s the truth.
I’ve already heard from Sun-chan you know. “When I was consulting Jouro, he said that it’s better to help out people you trust, and put in all your strength when tackling a problem. Whether it’s love or baseball, give it everything you’ve got” is what he said.?
Oi oi, what’s the meaning of this? Really? I don’t remember this.
I-I never, said that!?
Enough already, don’t lie to me anymore. Sun-chan told me this, “When Jouro compared my problems to baseball, he properly answered me”.?
Baseball? Huh, baseball? Is that… No way… Was it that time!?
That’s… During a baseball match on the big stage, where one more hit would lose the game, and the other team’s 4 batter came out, what would be the best thing to do? Do you think it’s better to just give the batter the walk after all??
That’s right. If it was me then I probably would give the batter the walk… But, Sun-chan, you’re different right? Trustful and hard working. Always believing in yourself and your teammates. Never running away and always throwing the ball as hard as you can. That’s your way.?
That’s right! That’s true after all! Thanks Jouro! I’m really happy you told me this!?
You’re mistaken Sun-chan! That’s not what I meant!
That face, it seems have an idea about it.?
Y-you’re wrong! That’s not what I……!?
Enough. It seems like you’re not my ally… I’m disappointed.?
Oi oi wait a sec! It’s fine it you listen to me speak a little right!?
Why are you completely accepting what Sun-chan said to be the truth, and not listening to me!?
Until now, wasn’t I always supporting you!?
Goodbye, insensitive, cruel, the worst, Jouro-kun.?
Saying that, Cosmos stood up and left the cafe.
This is the worst…… I can only say this is seriously the worst development…
…Wait a sec, I just noticed but, that Cosmos, she didn’t pay me back!
On top of misunderstanding me and verbally abusing me, I’m still left with the cost of the drinks. ??????????????? ????????????
Haa… I can’t follow…… hm??
Immediately after Cosmos left, while I was letting out a little bit of displeasure, my phone vibrated.
Jeez, who is sending me a message at this time?
If it’s not about something serious then…………It’s from Himawari.
Can we meet tomorrow??
From just that one line I could understand what happened.
This is more worse than the worst thing that can happen. It has sunk deeply in my mind.
***
TL notes
1 I think this is a reference to this – Sadako Yamamura
2 RAW: 貞〇状態 — I don’t get this part, since the other kanji is missing. Could be referring to her chastity, virtue, faith, or maybe some other word I have no fucking clue about.
3 Teru Mikami, from Death Note
4 And notice Cosmos/Himawari right next to him and then fall in love with them instead
Part 2
It is Sunday now.
Since it’s such a pain and since I could already guess what was going to happen, I didn’t set a time to meet with Himawari.
I just told her to come whenever she felt like it.
I thought she would come right away in the morning, but she didn’t.
While I was lazily spending time in my room, I heard my mother’s voice call out saying “Aoi-chan is here” sometime in the evening.
Seeing Himawari standing in the entrance way, I felt afraid.
She also looked just like a zombie. She was groaning while she walked.
Because she was wearing her causal clothes, or rather, her sleepwear, I could see her bra straps through her worn out T-shirt.
However, since visuals are everything, she looked more scary than sexy.
Why are you coming to my house dressed like that!
You’re not very protected. If I was a police officer then I would definitely protect you.
I’d forcibly send you back home if you were like that.
Jouroo?
……Yes.?
Jourooo?
Yup. No good. She can’t speak.
F-for now come to my room.?
Jouroo?
Grasping onto Himawari’s hand as she swayed around in the entrance way, I forcibly took her to my room.
Since this was also the first time I have seen Himawari so frail like this, I had some mixed feelings.
***
Even after entering my room, Himawari didn’t say anything.
A-anyways, just sit for now!?
Silently nodding to my words, Himawari sat down on a floor cushion.
After making sure she sat down, I took a seat on my chair.
Now then, time for the real issue at hand……is what I thought, but Himawari fell over on her side in the same sitting position.
Apparently, it seems like she can’t even sit down without some kind of support.
D-did something happen? Do you want to talk about it??
Enough already.
No matter what state Himawari is in, the results will still be the same so it’s fine if she’s like this.
Still on her side, Himawari only moved her mouth while tears poured out.
On Saturday……?
From here on Himawari’s story about what happened on Saturday starts. (? Because I wasn’t there, please enjoy this monologue without my remarks this time. It seems like it takes place on the road home from the movie theatre they went to.)
***
Hey Sun-chan, was the movie interesting??
Yeah! I really enjoyed it! Thanks for inviting me Himawari!?
Yay~! Ehehe~ don’t mention it.?
But, is Jouro okay? Somehow, it feels bad leaving him out like this since you two usually hang out……?
Sun-chan, we already talked about that before! Jouro and I might be childhood friends, but that doesn’t mean we’re going out or that we have romantic feelings for each other!?
Ah that’s right. Hehe, sorry! But, I just subconsciously said it.?
Please don’t say that anymore! I’m troubled by it after all.?
Huh? You’re troubled by it??
That’s right! What if the person I like misunderstands…… Ah!?
Oho, Himawari, that means……?
Wait a sec Sun-chan! Don’t grin like that! Forget it! Forget what you just heard!?
Sorry but, I can’t forget that. Heeh~ I see. Himawari, you’re in love with someone huh??
Uuu~?
But well, whoever you’re in love with sure is a lucky guy! If it was me, I would immediately say yes if a good person like you confessed to me.?
Eh!??
Oops, if I say it like that it will create misunderstandings huh! Sorry!?
No! That’s fine! I see…I see~!?
Hmm, but Himawari is also in love huh? Somehow, it feels like everyone is feeling the season of love.?
Huh? Season of love??
Yeah. Cosmos also told me she has someone that she likes. And also…?
Also??
T-that’s…… I was hoping to talk about this today! I’m going to be talking about weird stuff, so if you don’t like it you can stop me!?
Eh…? O-okay.?
You see I…… I, have someone that I like.?
I-is that so.?
Cosmos and Jouro are the only other people I’ve told this to. You’re the last person I’ll tell this to. After this, no one else will know.?
…Eh? You’re also going to tell me??
Yeah! Or rather, I decided from the beginning that I would tell you!?
Tell me… From the beginning….?
I… I……?
Y….yeah.?
I like Sumireko Sanshokuin-san!?
……hwat??
Sumireko Sanshokuin-san is a library committee member! I have always been in love with her since last year, but I haven’t been able to get closer to her, so…… If you know of any good methods to get closer, I would like to receive advice from you Himawari!?
Sa-Sanshokun-san….??
Yup! Since you’re such a bright person Himawari, you can get along with anyone, so I think you can also get along with Sanshokuin-san! That’s why uhm…… If, if you don’t mind, I want you to help me out!
Uhh….. Me??
Yes! Oh, uh… Do you not want to??
N-no! That’s not it! It’s fine! Leave it to me!?
Seriously!? Thank you! You’re such a big help!?
***
……As expected. I’m not even surprised. I knew this would happen, the same lines.
Wait a sec, Sun-chan, from what I remember you said you’d only tell Cosmos didn’t you?
Why did you tell Himawari too I wonder? Your determination crumbled too quickly you know.
You knew about this, right Jouro??
Himawari said that while swaying her body around in one big motion.
See~ Here it comes~ Just as I thought it would~
I am the one taking the damage here. But, it’s fine. Not only do I have counter measures, we’re also in my room today.
There’s no way she can leave here any make me pay for drinks. There’s no opportunity.
However, the fact that Himawari is scary hasn’t changed.
This isn’t Dark Himawari, but rather Bloody Himawari.
A thick aura that seemed like it was dying the whole room with the colour of blood is coming out of her.
Whether or not it’s real, the fact that I would’ve used even a magazine to protect myself is a secret.
I did know.?
Yup. I said it clearly this time. Now, saying what I said last time should be fine too… No wait.
This is just a guess but, I bet Sun-chan told Himawari about his misunderstanding of my words. So, if I say what I said last time, it’s certain death.
Why…… didn’t you tell me??
I didn’t have a reason to.?
……Why??
I could see on my own how much you like Sun-chan. Even then, telling you Sun-chan likes someone else…… I couldn’t bring myself to say it.?
I’ve said this before but, I’ll say it again.
These are my true feelings.
She’s my childhood friend so I know her well after being with her for so long. This girl has seriously tried her best.
If she didn’t, I wouldn’t have even helped her out in the first place.
……Well, up until now it’s been the same as with Cosmos. But, from now on I’ll be applying my countermeasures.
That’s why I refused when Sun-chan told me that he wanted me to help him out. Well, I did also reply to him honestly when he talked about baseball though.?
How’s that! Before Sun-chan’s made up story comes out, my story comes out! Things should go well now!
If he’s going to tell you fake info, then I’ll tell you real information first!
Now Himawari won’t believe Sun-chan’s misunderstanding????
……Liar.?
Huh!??
No, that was an unconscious voice that was let out. I’m not lying in the slightest you know!
Sun-chan told me already! “Jouro is the greatest friend I could ask for. Even though we were talking about baseball, he properly understood that I was talking about love and responded appropriately, supporting my feelings” is what he said!?
Sun-chan, I’m happy about the first thing you said but, you overthought too much about what my words meant.
I, from the bottom of my heart, totally thought you were talking about baseball……
That’s wrong! That’s not what I meant when I said?????
You’re not my ally! Jouro, I hate you!?
Hearing those words, blood rose to my head instantly.
Don’t fuck with me! I’m the one who should be hating you after all that’s happened!
Why won’t you or Cosmos listen to what I’m saying!?
Unlike Sun-chan, I’m the one who’s been closer to you guys you know!
And yet, why is it that you always trust Sun-chan, but never believe in me!?
You…. Buho 1 -!?
Goodbye! The worst and meanest liar Jouro!?
The limits of my patience were surpassed, but before I could shout at her in anger, Himawari made her move.
She threw the floor cushion she was sitting on right at my face and left my room as fast as she could.
Anyways, how can I not get mad if things end like this?
Well, I’m kinda okay with how things ended up, but everything was nearly exposed.
Hmm??
While I was relaxing myself, my phone rang out.
……It’s not Sun-chan this time right?
With that thought…. I fearfully peeked at the screen,
Make sure you come on Tuesday okay~??
Phew, it’s just Pansy………
It’s shameful how I’m feeling happy like this but, I’m seriously glad it was Pansy……
Haa~…… I seriously wish I could get a break from everything……
***
The situation has already become the worst possible one, you can even say it’s impossible to fix things already.
Though I really desperately tried to somehow think about the situation, I couldn’t easily come up with any ideas on how to fix things like how I did last time. And then before I knew it, it was already Monday.
If it was like before, then I’d be going to school together with Himawari in the morning, but today is different.
Himawari isn’t here. There’s no sign of anything about to hit me with a surprise attack at all.
Well of course it would be like this after all what we said yesterday. With that, I don’t want to talk with her today. Even if she talks to me I will ignore her.
When I arrived at my classroom, Sun-chan and Himawari were already there.
Both of them noticed me, and Sun-chan greeted me but Himawari immediately averted her gaze away. You don’t want to get along huh? Well me neither.
Without greeting anyone, I headed towards my seat.
Oi~ Jouro!?
Sorry Sun-chan. I don’t really want to talk with anyone right now.?
Sorry Sun-chan, I’m not in the mood to go along with your usual enthusiasm right now.
Oh, okay. I understand.?
Sorry……?
Sun-chan left my vicinity immediately.
As expected he can read the mood during times like this. It’s honestly helpful.
He returned back to where Himawari was, and the two of them seemed like they were having fun talking.
While looking at their situation, I absentmindedly spent my time.
***
As soon as it became lunch time, I started being cautious of my surroundings.
I think that she probably won’t come but, during last Friday’s lunch break Pansy, who in my opinion is the incarnation of fear, came here. If she does come to my classroom, then I will immediately run away.
Even though we’re not suppose to run in the halls, I will run at full speed.
Then, just now my phone vibrated. While my heart started beating faster, I checked my phone’s screen.
I won’t come today~?
You don’t have to report to me every little thing you know.?
Are you relieved??
I’m relieved, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.?
Maybe I should come after all??
Please give me a break.?
There’s no helping it then. I’ll be patient for you~?
Thank you very much.?
Thank god. It seems like Pansy isn’t coming.
That girl, even though she’s like that, she won’t lie. Now I can have some peace of mind without any worries right?
If that’s the case, I will slowly spend my time alone at ease.
***
TL notes
1 he got hit, I’m bad with sounds effects, so I just literally translated the sound.
Part 3
***
With still a little bit of time remaining for lunch break, Sun-chan returned to the classroom.
He must have finished eating lunch with Cosmos. While in a good mood, he headed towards me.
Mann! As expected, Cosmos’ lunches are soo good!?
Is that so. I’m happy for you……?
I don’t want to hear about Cosmos anymore for the time being though……
……Hey Jouro??
What’s the matter??
Did something happen between you and Himawari and Cosmos??
Eh? No, nothing happened……?
Liar. Just looking at your face is enough for me to understand. You didn’t talk with Himawari at all in the morning, and now when I was talking about Cosmos you face became gloomy.?
Did it??
Yeah it did. You know……if anything happened you can talk to me about it.?
Sun-chan……?
Though it’s a little embarrassing to say this, I think of you as my closest friend. When you told me you wanted to be alone in the morning, of course I’d become concerned if you made a face like that.?
My eyes were involuntarily moved to tears. My best friend is such a nice guy isn’t he?
But, even so I can’t tell him the truth. Even if we argue about it, a promise is a promise.
While I was in pain from my feelings of guilt and hesitating to say something,
Ah, Sun-chan do you have a minute??
Oh, what’s up Himawari??
For just a second, Himawari focused her gaze on me, but she immediately looked away.
Well, since the two of us will resist till the very end, things like this will be common right?
I don’t want to talk about it here. It’s about what we were talking about the other day you see.?
Oh I see! I understand…… Alright then Jouro, sorry but I gotta go.?
Ah… Okay.?
Sun-chan got up and separated from me.
While he did that, I thought Himawari would follow him but for some reason she was staring at me.
……It’s, Jouro’s fault.?
Leaking that out in a small voice, Himawari left to go catch up to Sun-chan.
It’s my fault? Hell no it isn’t.
But, that was good timing.
I was quite troubled about what I should tell Sun-chan.
As far as that problem goes, I’ll praise you for your help.
***
As soon as classes ended, and since I didn’t have a real reason not to go, I headed towards the student council room.
After knocking on the door, I heard an uninterested voice say “Enter”.
Hearing that, I loudly flung the door to the student council room open and saw Cosmos dispassionately writing something down in her notebook. Of course, she didn’t look at me.
Well for now, since I don’t want to stand the whole time, I headed towards my seat and sat down.
……………………??
The student council room was filled with silence. This continued on for another 5 minutes.
……Here, take this.?
Using her slender hands, Cosmos took out some change from her lovely wallet and handed it to me.
This is for not paying for her drink the other day.
I properly wrote down a reminder in my notebook, and this was just a convenient time.?
Cosmos held up her notebook with her right hand like she usually does and smiled, but there was no spirit behind it.
I mean, the matter with Sun-chan is still going on after all.
This morning, I talked a bit with Himawari-san.?
When I accepted the change, Cosmos said that.
And then, we decided on what we should do from now on.?
You really didn’t want to say that right? You’re biting down strongly on your lower lip, and you look like you’re about to cry right now.
We’re going to help Sun-chan with his love life. So, you’re not needed anymore.?
After saying those words, Cosmos returned back to the usual Cosmos and the student council meeting started with no problems.
***
As I wished, peace and quiet came and Monday ended and it became Tuesday.
In the morning when I woke up and checked my phone, there was a message.
The sender was Pansy. I haven’t even seen the message yet, but I can already tell what it is about.
Make sure you come today okay~??
Tsk. I seriously don’t want to go to the library again, but there is the other day’s matter to deal with.
I have no choice, so I guess I’ll go.
***
As soon as it became lunch time, I headed to the library and opened the door with a lot of force.
And then Pansy, who was sitting at the reception desk, beckoned me to sit down in front of her.
With violent actions and movement, I followed her instructions and sat down in front of her.
What do you want??
Ara, that’s a mean thing to say when you came here on your own~?
You’re the one who called me here though.?
That’s true.?
Pansy turned her gaze downwards after letting out a breath.
However, that was only for a brief period, and she immediately looked back up at me.
Things have become interesting haven’t they??
Huh??
Even though you gave it your all and went through great pains, all your hard work up until now has gone poof. Everything has become useless now right?
Y-you……?
Even though Akino-senpai and Hinata-san don’t want his wishes to come true, they want to be next to the person they like. So they have to support Ooga-kun. They are really pitiful people aren’t they~?
Hearing this really pissed me off. Why is she so good at making me mad like this.
The thing that happened the other day was my fault so I apologized but, this negates…no this brings you into the negatives.
You have the nerve to even think about saying these bad things.
Enough……?
But you see, Jouro-kun,?
The moment it seemed like I was about to scream out in anger, Pansy started talking, and I stopped.
What is it??
While playing around with her braids, Pansy kept her cold gaze away from me and moved only her mouth.
Things will truly get interesting starting now~?
Hearing the sound of a door opening behind me, I looked over my shoulder in response and saw three visitors.
They were Sun-chan, Himawari, and Cosmos.
The three of them were all surprised, seeing me and Pansy together.
Especially Sun-chan. You could clearly see his anger as he glared at me.
Huhh!? Why did they come here?
During lunch time, no one comes to the library.
Every once in a while there would be someone who was looking for a book they want to borrow but, that happens at most once a week.
Jouro… What’s the meaning of this??
Fiercely stepping forward with his feet, Sun-chan was forming a fist with his hands. This is definitely an explosive situation.
That’s…… Uh…?
Jouro, I also want you to also explain too. Why are you and Pansy-chan together??
Uhm….. Uhhhhh……?
Of course things would be like this.
Those guys are probably thinking I’m meeting with Pansy in secret after seeing just the two of us here like this.
They might conclude that what I said about lunch time is my own time was all a lie, and that I’ve been secretly acting before them.
So you’ve come to get closer to me Ooga-kun. Are the two of them here to help you out??
Sorry, Sanshokuin-san is it okay if you be quiet for a little bit??
Pansy, you need to shut up!! Don’t you understand the situation!?
I’ve realized it now after all this, instead of the usual reading area, you had me sit down at the reception desk! All so that I wouldn’t be hidden!
Correct.?
After hearing Pansy mutter that quietly, I felt really angry, but I didn’t have the time to show it.
Anyways, in front of my eyes there are three demigods 1 standing with their eyes full of distrust.
Hey Jouro-kun, would you care to tell us why you and Pansy-san are with each other??
She said it in a gentle way, but her tone was not gentle at all. Cosmos is also serious.
Jouro, you know about my feelings right? Was what you said when we had that conversation all a lie??
Sun-chan, I have never lied to you, you’re just getting the wrong idea.
Hey, Jouro. You said you were helping us out right? Then why are you here? Have you been deceiving us??
It’s just as Himawari-san says. I heard you were hiding yourself during lunch time since a while ago, but I never imagined that you would be here of all places. What have you been talking about with her huh??
Uh, uhhh……!?
Don’t tell me you, are you going out with Sanshokuin-san!? Even though you knew all about my feelings…….?
You’re wrong! Why would I even do that! This is all just a misunderstanding! You’re all being weird aren’t you!?
The whole reason why I’ve come here in the first place is because of Cosmos and Himawari asking me for advice!
And also, me and Pansy aren’t going out with each other.
Pansy has told me that she likes me, but I don’t like her. To say it clearly, I hate her.
But even then, why are you guys criticizing me like this?
Why haven’t I been able to raise any objections this whole time?
Jouro!?
Jouro-kun!?
Cosmos’ and Himawari’s voices resounded in my head. The two of them intensely stared at me.
Why do I have to be looked at by eyes like those?
Up until now, I’ve always been helping you guys out you know?
Himawari, when you really messed up with your plans to get closer to Sun-chan, who do you think it was who helped gloss over your blunders?
Cosmos, when you were acting all shy and moved in a feverish haste, who do you think it was who was there to luckily follow up on your failures?
Can’t you think about it for a little bit? I have my own situation to deal with you know. Can you not even do something so simple?
For me, I thought you were my rea~lly important childhood friend Jouro. Was it only me who thought that??
Me too. I was reassured when I thought of my cute kouhai helping me out as my ally.?
Change! Jouro! Switch! On!
Don’t fuck with meeeeeeeee!!!!?
I’ve had enough. I don’t care anymore. I won’t think about what will happen after this.
If I don’t let these two idiots hear what I have to say, this feeling won’t go away.
I’m done acting all submissive now! ??? ??????????
I was keeping quiet earlier, but an important childhood friend!? A cute kouhai!? Are you guys in any position to talk!? Just cut it out already!?
The three of them were surprised at my sudden change this time. Their eyes opened up about 10% more than usual.
I never looked forward to whenever you guys were either foolishly laughing or acting all timidly! If you guys are going to come at me like this, then I’ll say what I want to say so prepare yourselves!?
You guys are treating me like I’m the bad guy as you please after all. If that’s the case then I will meet your expectations.
I’ll show you guys everything about my other self.
Sun-chan is fine! He’s got his own understanding of the situation, and I can see why he would be angry right now. Aah, there’s no helping it. But, Himawari, Cosmos, you guys are different!?
The two of them shrunk back at the sight of my furious gaze.
Aaah!? Don’t think that I’ll forgive you if you act scared. C’mon you can do better than that.
W-what……?
What’s different about the two of us and Sun-chan??
Ha! You can’t even understand something as simple as that? I really pity you guys.?
With composure, I ridiculed them.
When things are going good, you guys come and ask me to help you out. When things are going badly, you guys quickly throw me away as if I was nothing. When I was your “ally” I desperately tried to tell you the truth, but you wouldn’t even listen to me. You guys didn’t even consider my situation at all.?
In order to grant their wishes, I did many bothersome things that didn’t even benefit me.
Treating me like I’m a stick, treating me like I’m a traitor, I’ve seriously had enough!
You guys dare to call me your important childhood friend or cute kouhai? Don’t make me laugh. That’s the funniest joke I’ve heard all week!?
The moment I said those words, Himawari and Cosmos were taken aback.
I hope that the two of them have finally realized what I meant.
And with that, do you guys have any words to say to me after using me as you pleased? Did you guys really think we were like that? Tell me clearly. Tell me what you really think.?
……………??
Oi, Himawari, Cosmos.?
When I called out their names and glared at them, the two of them trembled while returning their own determined glares back.
But, the strength in their eyes was clearly weak.
W-what do you want??
That was Himawari. While being scared and panicked, she managed to somehow get out a reply.
With eyes full of fear from somewhere, Cosmos quietly waited for me to talk.
I am not your guys’ important childhood friend or cute kouhai!?
I knew. I knew but I tried to desperately endure it. In order to not think about it.
It is hard for me to say the truth, since more importantly than anything else, saying it will lead to our relationships breaking. But, I’m at my limit. I can’t endure it any longer.
I’m just……….just a convenient tool you you guys aren’t I?!?
……………??
With all of that in mine, you guys don’t have the right to criticize me!!?
After I straight out told them that, they were still in a state of shock so they did not say anything.
Ha! This much is appropriate for a situation where they should feel like “reflecting”.
………I’ve won! I’ve won against those two!
O-oi, Jouro. I think that’s enough.?
While confused, Sun-chan came to stop me.
Aah, I get it.?
Kukekekeke, how’s that Cosmos! Himawari!
Have you reflected on yourselves? It was effective right? Look at your pitiful selves! It’s my complete victory!
If things have come to this, then the misunderstandings from before should be resolved right?
In addition, Sun-chan should understand that me and Pansy don’t have a special relationship, and everything will be settled!
My real personality has been revealed but, in Sun-chan’s case, he’ll probably accept me with a smile right? There’s no doubt he’ll say something like “So you were this kind of guy huh” while laughing.
That’s one matter dealt with! Well after this, it will be awkward around Himawari and Cosmos, but I don’t care.
Saying what you want to say, feels so good!
No! It’s super refreshing! You better remember this Cosmos, Himawari!
People who get carried away will definitely be argued into speechlessness and end up in an unpleasant situation eventually. Just like how you two are right now!
Even though you didn’t have any allies, you were splendid. Mr. White Elephant Jouro-kun.?
While holding Kenji Miyazawa’s book “Obbel and the Elephant 2 “, Pansy said that to me.
Ooh, I see, I see. Pansy also thinks so huh?
That’s right isn’t it? I’m not in the wrong here right?
You’ve worked hard haven’t you. Between Hinata-san and Akino-senpai, you just wanted to make one of them happy. But the results of your efforts are just too cruel aren’t they~?
It’s exactly as she says! That’s right. My efforts were magnificent.
I had a lot of unpleasant thoughts the entire time! Yup. I said what I said earlier out of consideration of????
Then, why did you tell me to go out with Ooga-kun I wonder??
uhm, Pansy-san?
Why did you choose those words?
Isn’t this where you become my ally?
You like me don’t you? Why would you do something like that to the person that you like?
The moment he heard Pansy’s words, Sun-chan pressed down on my shoulders with a lot of power.
Jouro, what does she mean by that? You said you were helping out president Cosmos and Himawari earlier right??
Uh, well you see…..?
This is weird. How did things become like this?
It was suppose to end up like that right? The two girls would reflect on themselves and then apologize to me and then everything would be over right?
Right??
Between Hinata-san and Akino-senpai, you said you would make one of them yours~?
I didn’t say thaaaaaaaat! I never said that to you!
I only said that in my head!
In that moment, the two girls who were in a state of speechlessness since earlier started to revive.
Uuuohhh! Furthermore, the two of them have blank looks on their faces! From behind them a black aura is spewing out into the room!
Jouro-kun, you will explain everything right??
Jouro, I also want to hear what you have to say~?
I-I don’t have those feelings anymore!?
You said “anymore”. So that means you were thinking about it before??
I’ve dug my own grave! What a terrible grave I’ve dug! It’s deep! This grave is deep!
It’s so deep that if you enter it you can’t even see out of it! 3
Don’t tell me, is the reason why you told me to go out with Sun-chan is so you can get those girls perhaps? That’s cruel~?
Pansyyyyyyy!!
As I screamed her name in my mind, Sun-chan’s eye’s opened wide and he raised his fist.
Heh. Watch closely Cosmos, Himawari.
People who get carried away will definitely,
Gya-phun!? 4
Be beaten hollow and end up in an unpleasant situation eventually. Just like me right now.
Yes. Sun-chan punched me with all of his strength.
As a result of that tremendous power, I was on the floor, unsightly trying to cower.
Sun-chan……..you’re a pitcher…….you should take care of your hands……….
Aa…….. Ugh……..?
While I was like that, Sun-chan approached me with an extremely cool sound effect behind his steps.
Fuu. This much is enough to make me feel like “repenting”…..
You scum bastard! Apologize to Cosmos-san and Himawari!?
Buoghhh!?
As if there was no point in talking about it, he swung his fists down at me.
My face was swelling, and my prized stylish nose had been transformed into a bruised and ragged nose. I told you to take care of your hands…….
Aa, aau–…… a……. aa………..?
Himawari and Cosmos were just staring at my pathetic figure while I was twitching on the floor.
Jouro….. I’m shocked you know. You look like natto that has been boiled deep in the ocean.?
Is it okay if I think of that as an expression for a beautiful person? Even though it’s a little sticky?
Me too. I didn’t think you were………. You seemed like a guy who cooked well with a taro sludge……?
Dirty! I’m dirty! That’s why it’s common to be sticky. 5
You should be….. No, you have no relation to the three of us anymore.?
Ahbii………?
As if our friendship until now was all just a lie, Sun-chan lifted me up with a detached expression, and started to bring me out of the library in order to separate me from the rest of them.
It’s unfortunate Jouro. I thought that we would be best friends forever you know.?
I-I alzo…….. zhought deh zame……..?
Is that so. Our friendship…… is already over though……?
Sun-chan’s words cut up my heart like a sickle used for decapitation.
Haa……… Everything is seriously over. It’s all over.
Himawari looked at me dumbfoundedly, Cosmos looked at me with eyes of pity, and Pansy looked at me with her usual indifferent gaze.
By the way Pansy, why would you make me go through this cruel thing if you told me you like me?
Was it actually just a lie when you told me you liked me?
I wasn’t lying~?
While hearing those words from Pansy, Sun-chan carried me out of the library on his shoulder.
***
See ya, the worst, hypocritical, garbage bastard Jouro.?
After carelessly throwing me into one of the stalls in the boys’ washroom and saying that, Sun-chan left me as I was.
And just like that, I lost everything.
TL notes
1 RAW: 修羅 – Shura —- Jisho gives the following, there are multiple definitions, but I’m using the one that makes the most sense.
2 A book about a greedy capitalist exploiting a friendly white elephant
3 In this sentence there is the following kanji: 墓児, unfortunately I’m not getting any results of what they mean together, and I don’t get the connection between them separately. I swear I’m not typing the wrong kanji either. So, this sentence is kinda made up as a result. orz
4 Gyaphun in this case is a sound effect, but it can also be a verb (when combined with some other stuff e.g. the lines above and below this dialogue line) which means 1.to be beaten hollow or 2.to be argued into silence. The joke(?) here is that earlier in this part Jouro said the same sentence in his head using definition 2 when he made Himawari and Cosmos speechless, but in this case he’s using definition 1 since hes being beat by Sun-chan.
5 I dont know what the fuck they are talking about with all this vegetable shit, but i swear thats whats written guys trust
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