Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 13 - Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

A Lucky Man

ONE DAY, about two weeks after Cliff’s marriage to Elinalise, I headed out into town with both Sylphie and Roxy.

Our goal for the day was to purchase birthday presents for Norn and Aisha. I’d decided to make their party a surprise, which meant we needed to make all the preparations as stealthily as possible.

There was another reason why I’d dragged both my wives along on this trip, but we’ll get to that later.

We were in the middle of the harvest season by now, and the city was bustling with activity. Horse-drawn carriages were rumbling along the streets in all directions, and the vendors selling fruits and vegetables were all smiles. The food was cheaper at this time of year, but also fresher and tastier.

The harvest festival was coming up soon, too, as evidenced by the big wooden stage that had gone up in the middle of the city’s central square. 

This wasn’t the most elaborate of events. It involved campfires in the streets, big pots of stew with all sorts of ingredients, and a lot of cheap booze. People would gather around the fires to eat, drink, and express their gratitude for the earth’s blessings. There weren’t any other major events that I knew of. No singing or dancing, even.

Still, as long as you brought your own pot, you could get a big helping of the stew for free. Aisha had apparently taken advantage of this last year, while I was away. She hadn’t been too impressed, though. They sort of threw things in there at random, so the flavor wasn’t anything to write home about.

Hopefully I’d get the chance to try it for myself this year. If it was gross, that might be interesting in its own way.

“It’s certainly lively these days,” said Roxy, looking around curiously.

“Yeah, it always is,” said Sylphie. “Lots of people come into town this time of year.”

Apart from the merchants moving in all directions, there were plenty of students out on the streets, peering into the booths and stalls. Sometimes we passed farmers pushing wheelbarrows full of vegetables, or adventurers squabbling about who’d bumped whose shoulder. Sharia was the largest city in this region, but it was only this noisy around this time of year.

Also, I was noticing an unusual number of beastfolk out in the streets. Most of them were tough-looking guys carrying broad, machete-like swords. They had a “festival” of their own going on at the moment, as it happened. Linia and Pursena were both going into heat around the same time, so their bravest young fighters had travelled here from all around the world to compete for them. This year, Linia and Pursena were going to be facing them head-on. I guess they thought it was about time to find themselves husbands.

In a break with beastfolk traditions, however, they’d declared that they would be choosing their mates personally from among those who bested them. At a bare minimum, they wanted a Sword Saint, Advanced-tier mage, or A-rank adventurer. Furthermore, his fur needed to be glossy, his ears erect, and his tail straight. Oh, and he had to be both a savage warrior and a considerate gentleman. Their standards seemed a little unrealistic to me, to be perfectly honest. 

Hopefully they’d find someone nice…just like me.

On my right, I had Sylphie. On my left, I had Roxy. A woman on both sides—every man’s dream!

“Hey there, Miss Sylphiette, Miss Roxy. I’ve got a proposal for you.”

“And what would that be, Mister Rudeus?”

“Go right ahead.”

“How about we walk arm in arm?”

The idea had popped into my head suddenly, but it was sort of an extension of my previous thought. The real “dream” was to strut around with two women clinging to your arms, showing off how popular you were.

I’d seen a few men like that in my previous life, and it always made me want to puke. But deep down inside, I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to do what they could do!

“Okay.”

“…Sure.”

Sylphie immediately grabbed my right arm. Roxy hesitated slightly, then took my left.

The day had come at last. I was risen! Now it was my turn to endure the people’s jealous gazes. And how wonderful it felt!

Looking around the area, though, I realized that the merchants were busy with their own affairs, and the beastfolk warriors were hurrying off to the University. Some of the students in the crowd were looking our way, but they averted their eyes quickly. I might have gotten a few jeers from the local adventurers if we were in a tavern or something, but even they didn’t seem bored enough to harass me on the street. Overall, I was getting much less attention than I’d anticipated.

Still, I was deeply satisfied by the experience.

Why, you might ask? Well, my right arm was currently experiencing some pleasant sensations. Sylphie was pressing a certain something against it, in a way she wasn’t capable of before. No need to be coy, right? I’m referring to her chest.

I, Rudeus Greyrat, was walking through the town with a woman’s breasts pushed up against my arm. This simple fact was enough to fill me with joy. The once-barren soil of my heart, bleached dry by a miserable adolescence, was blooming with life!

I couldn’t stay in this oasis forever. Soon enough, these pillowy clouds of pleasure would return to their rightful and more modest size. But that didn’t make them any less real. They were the legendary treasure islands, and I had found them!

And it wasn’t just Sylphie offering me this joy. Roxy, on my left, was also pressing her meager chest against me. Her breasts were small, but they did exist. I could feel their distinct softness against the muscles of my arm. They were meek enough to inherit the Earth!

This was truly splendid. I said a few silent words of thanks to the muscles of my own arms; if not for their hardness, I couldn’t have appreciated this softness so fully.

Ha ha, don’t be jealous, Heracles the Bicep! You’re truly wonderful as well!

“Gnuh huh huh.”

Hmm. I hadn’t meant to laugh like that, but it had happened anyway.

As I’ve already mentioned, the purpose of our outing today was to choose presents for my dear little sisters. However, that wasn’t my only goal. 

Just the other day, Elinalise had finally delivered the news I’d been waiting to hear.

“I’ve softened them both up for you, Rudeus. You just take them both out on a date, get a nice mood going, and then take them to a classy inn.”

That’s right, my friends. Today was the day. I was going to sleep with both my wives at once!

I was boiling with anticipation. Would I be able to satisfy them both? I couldn’t wait to try!

“Rudy? Uh, Rudy?”

Sylphie’s voice snapped me back to reality. 

Whoops. Guess I was zoning out a bit there…

“You’re drooling,” said Roxy, wiping at my face with a handkerchief. “Are you ready to eat already?”

I clearly needed to be a bit more attentive. I was hoping today would end with a threesome, yes, but I wasn’t going to get sloppy about the date itself.

We’d pick out Norn and Aisha’s presents carefully. And after that, I was going to make sure they both enjoyed their day out.

All of this was equally important.

“Sorry about that,” I said with a smile, renewing my focus on the tasks at hand. “I guess I was just lost in thought.”

Picking the presents was our main activity for the day. We decided to look all around the city and take our time with the decision.

Our search got underway in the Workshop District. You could find all sorts of magical tools and implements in this area of the city. Of course, there were plenty of enchanted objects for sale in the Commerce District as well, but those were largely tested, refined products that commanded very high prices. In the Workshop District, you got a more eclectic mix, including prototypes and experiments produced by fledgling creators.

For the most part, their effects weren’t too remarkable—they were more like toys than anything else. But sometimes you’d dig through a pile of junk and find a masterpiece from an inventor who’d soon be famous. 

Or so Roxy told me, at least. One of her old classmates from the University had joined a workshop here as an apprentice, so she knew a few things about the area. Unfortunately, they’d moved to a different city at some point.

Roxy didn’t seem too optimistic about our mission. “To be honest, I don’t think we’ll find anything those two would like here,” she’d said, but she was browsing through the magical implements on display with great interest.

Naturally, I wasn’t expecting to find a suitable present for Norn or Aisha either. The reason I’d brought us here was to find a gift for Roxy.

Although we were formally married, I’d never really celebrated that with her. She wasn’t interested in a wedding ceremony, but we could still have a belated party. My plan was to combine that event with Aisha and Norn’s birthday celebration.

Roxy didn’t know about that part, of course. It was also a surprise. 

She thought she was in on the game, but I was playing five-dimensional chess here! If she expressed interest in anything on sale here, I planned to sneak back out and buy it a few days later.

Of course, magical implements could get very expensive. Right now, our family’s funding was coming from four main sources: Sylphie and Roxy’s salaries, the royalties from that scroll Nanahoshi gave me, and the money we’d earned from that Labyrinth.

In particular, the Labyrinth money—my inheritance from Paul, in a sense—could have kept me comfortable for a solid thirty years or so all on its own. It wasn’t enough to let me lounge around for the rest of my life, but it was a very nice cushion.

There was no telling when we might need to spend a whole lot of money all at once, so I was doing my best not to spend our cash carelessly. For a wedding present, though, I was more than willing to dip into my savings.

Hell, if Roxy muttered “I wanna drive a Porsche,” I’d get her one. There didn’t seem to be any luxury car dealers in the Magic City of Sharia, though, so I might have to settle for drawing their logo on Dillo’s forehead.

“This pot that freezes its contents when you feed it mana seems handy. Maybe Aisha would appreciate it.”

“Hmm. I get the feeling Aisha prefers cute things, honestly.”

“Oh, you’re right. I guess we shouldn’t give her something she’d use at work…”

I watched Roxy like a hawk as she chatted with Sylphie.

So far, I hadn’t noticed her yearning for anything in particular. She seemed totally focused on picking a present for my sisters, rather than finding something for herself.

“What do you think, Rudy?”

“I think it would be delightful to lick your face like a dog, Roxy.”

“Can you try to take this seriously? You’re the one who suggested the trip, you know.”

Of course, I was thinking about Aisha and Norn’s presents as well. But the stuff for sale around here just wasn’t their style.

After a while, we moved to the Commerce District. Our destination was Sylphie’s favorite clothing store. I’d bought my current robe here, and it was my go-to place for finding presents, also.

“Wow. You shop at some very fancy stores, I see…”

Roxy hesitated a little outside the shop, then looked down at her own robe with an uncertain expression. Should I be telling her there wasn’t a dress code, maybe?

“Huh?” said Sylphie. “Is it really that fancy?”

She seemed genuinely nonplussed. As a general rule, she only bought her clothes at fairly expensive establishments. It wasn’t like Sylphie was careless with her money or anything. She’d just spent many years accompanying Ariel. You tend to pick up the shopping habits of your closest friends, I guess.

I was sure she understood this place was expensive in some sense. It probably just seemed like the best option among the stores she was familiar with. Fancy is a relative term, after all.

“Well, no. I suppose the Greyrat family can afford to shop here. It’s just…I don’t usually visit stores this nice myself, personally.”

“O-oh… huh. I guess it is kind of fancy, then,” Sylphie said in a crestfallen tone, her ears drooping slightly. “Um, Rudy? I’m not spending too much money, am I?”

“Don’t worry, Sylphie. You’re fine.”

Apart from anything else, she paid for the clothes she bought out of her own salary. I didn’t have any right to complain about how she spent her money.

“I really wasn’t trying to imply that!” said Roxy. “I shopped at stores like this myself, back when I was a royal magician in Shirone. And it seems like a perfect place to find something special for a birthday present.”

“Oh, yeah. Right. It is a special occasion, so…yeah…”

That’s my teacher for you. She knows when to switch to the offensive. Better follow that up…

“You know, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying yourself some pricey clothes, really,” I said with a smile.

Sylphie pouted at this. “So you do think they’re pricey after all!”

“U-uh, slip of the tongue. I meant stylish. Stylish clothes.”

“Ugh. Should we go somewhere else after all…? The only other stores I know are even more expensive, though…”

“That won’t be necessary. Let’s buy something here.”

Originally, Sylphie had barely owned any personal outfits at all. She’d started dressing up for me. I had no reason to complain about that, to say the least.

This place was kind of pricey by my personal standards, yes. But that was just because I’d gotten used to buying cheap stuff in my years as a wandering adventurer.

I was willing to adjust my standards upward. As long as we could still afford it, at least.

The moment we stepped inside the store, an employee trotted over to greet us. I guess they made a habit of remembering their regulars in places like this.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the Greyrats! It’s so very nice to have you back in our establishment! What can we do for you today?”

“Oh, we’re just browsing,” I said. “Looking to buy presents for two children, both about ten years old.”

“I see! Why don’t you come this way, then?”

Instantly, the clerk led us to a section of the store totally occupied by children’s clothing. They trained their employees well here, from the looks of things.

The kids’ section wasn’t any less fancy than the rest of the place. They had a wide range of outfits on display, including everything from casual wear to robes and dresses.

Your tenth birthday was considered a very big deal, so people probably bought a lot of formal wear for kids around that age.

“My goodness, there’re a lot of different styles. I’m not even sure how to start.”

“Well, it’s going to be winter soon, right? Maybe something warm would be good?”

Roxy and Sylphie started looking through the outfits immediately. It sounded like they were enjoying themselves. Quite a contrast with a certain redhead whose entire attitude toward clothing was “Ugh, anything’s fine!”

“What do you think, Rudy?” asked Sylphie, turning back to me.

“Well, Norn’s winter coat’s getting a little small on her. She might be looking for a new one,” I offered.

The two of them nodded thoughtfully. 

“Okay, maybe a coat for her, then… But what should we do for Aisha?” 

“Oh. She was complaining the other day that her shoes are getting tight,” said Roxy.

“New shoes! That sounds good. Let’s see what we can find!”

Having narrowed our focus down considerably, we started browsing through the goods in earnest. Thanks to all the different options on offer, it didn’t take long to find gifts that fit my sisters’ personal styles.

For Norn, we settled on a brightly colored coat. For Aisha, we picked out a pair of boots with a nicely stitched flower pattern. They were both sized a bit large, but it didn’t seem like a problem. My sisters were both growing girls, after all.

With our main job accomplished, we took some time to wander aimlessly around the store. It wasn’t like we had to limit ourselves to a single present. And more importantly, I was still looking for a perfect gift for Roxy—although I kept that part to myself, of course.

“These cloth corsages are nice. I wonder if Aisha would like them?” I said, studying a basket of intricate little bouquets.

“Maybe. She does love flowers,” said Sylphie.

“Yeah…I’m not sure if a kid would appreciate that sort of thing, though.” 

“Come to think of it, I don’t really know what sort of things Norn likes…”

“Hmm, good question. She doesn’t talk about her tastes that often. Not around me, at least.”

“Norn has somewhat boyish tastes, I think,” said Roxy. “She likes swords, armor, horses…that sort of thing.”

“Wait, really? How do you know that?”

“Well, I’ve been trying to get to know her better, so…”

Roxy abruptly stopped in her tracks, trailing off mid-sentence.

Her eyes were fixed on a certain outfit. It was a magician’s robe, complete with hat, displayed prominently on a nearby stand. The robe was in an adult male’s size, so there was no chance it would fit her. Still, she stared intently at it. More specifically, at the hat.

After a moment, she took off her own hat and began to study it with a conflicted expression.

It was clearly an old hat at this point. I had a feeling it was the very same one she’d worn as my tutor back in Buena Village. It wasn’t exactly falling apart at the seams, and its black coloring hid some of the wear and tear, but you could tell it had been through its share of battles.

After putting her hat back on, Roxy gingerly stretched up to her full height and took the other one from its stand. She spun it around, found a price tag, and grimaced; an instant later, she’d put it right back where it came from.

Apparently, it wasn’t cheap.

With an audible sigh, she turned to rejoin us. It was clear she’d already pushed the matter out of her mind.

“Hey, Rudy…” 

Sylphie had sidled up to me at some point.

“Let’s go with that.”

“Sounds good.”

It seemed we’d both had the same thought. We’d found Roxy’s present.

A little while later, we ordered Norn’s coat and Aisha’s boots and left the store. I’d also secretly bought the hat for Roxy.

We’d be picking up the goods on the day of the party itself. The store promised to wrap everything up for us, fortunately.

I was starting to really look forward to it.

Finally, the three of us headed to the Lodging District, where many of the local adventurers congregated.

We’d been wandering across the city at a leisurely pace, so it was already early evening. 

This was about the time of day when adventurers would return from their labyrinth explorations, bearing new prizes. It was also the time of day when parties running low on funds would start selling off their goods to replenish their cash reserves. Sometimes you could stumble onto a great deal, if you knew what you were doing.

Still, magic items were always on the pricey side, and we honestly didn’t have much need for them. This was more of a window-shopping expedition.

…Or so I’d thought going in, at least.

“See, Sylphie? This is the kind of thing adventurers wear. Most people buy stuff like this when they need an outfit.”

“Okay, okay! I get it! But I don’t wear stuff like this too often, you know? I’m not sure if it’s going to work for me.”

“Hmm. I think this one would suit you, Sylphie. You’re quite slender, so capes look good on you.”

Carried away by our conversation, we ended up buying Sylphie a whole new set of clothes.

It was the kind of outfit a mage knight might wear, complete with elbow guards. It wasn’t exactly elegant, but it made her look like a novice adventurer, which I found painfully adorable. Now Sylphie could go off on an adventure any time she wanted!

Not that she really needed to. Or could, given her job.

When she was working, Sylphie usually wore a set of powerful magic items. She probably wouldn’t get many chances to wear this.

“Hee hee hee… Thanks, guys.”

Still, she looked very pleased with the gift.

By the time we were finished with our purchases, the stores in the area were starting to close. Shops didn’t stay open all night, as a general rule. We spontaneously headed toward the nearest taverns and restaurants. 

Well…it felt spontaneous to Sylphie and Roxy, at least. This was all going according to plan.

I’d actually made reservations in advance, anticipating this situation.

We’d be eating at an inn targeted at S-rank adventurers. Elinalise had recommended it to me as the perfect place to finish off a date. The food was good, the atmosphere was nice, the beds were big, and the rooms were nearly soundproof.

“Oh, I know this place. Grandma told me to take you here if we ever needed to make up after a fight.”

“You too, Sylphie? She said the same thing to me.”

To my surprise, both of my wives recognized the name of the place. At the end of the day, it seemed we were all just pawns in Elinalise’s game.

Well, whatever. It’s no big deal if they’ve heard of it.

“Elinalise mentioned something else to me, actually,” continued Roxy. “She said Rudy might take both of us here at some point. With the intention of, well… you know.”

“Yeah, she said that to me too… So that’s what this is all about.”

“Honestly. What are we going to do with you, Rudy?”

Sylphie and Roxy looked over at me with narrowed eyes. 

However, I didn’t see any real disgust or shock on their faces. Elinalise had done her job well; they seemed receptive to my plan.

I owed that woman big time. Thank you, Elinalise! You’re the best, Elinalise!

“Still, you didn’t mention we’d be spending the night. I’m a little worried about Lucie…”

The objection was reasonable enough, but of course, I hadn’t overlooked that little detail either.

“Don’t worry, Sylphie. I entrusted her to Lilia for tonight.”

When I’d explained the situation, she’d nodded seriously and promised me her full support. It was always nice to have dependable allies.

“It still feels a little wrong of us… But at least she’s in good hands, I guess.”

Sylphie seemed to think at least one of us should be with our child every night. A very understandable perspective, but…nah, I won’t make any excuses for myself.

Sorry, Lucie. I do love you, okay? Forgive your wicked, lustful father!

Roxy piped up next: “I do have school tomorrow, you know.”

Her job was important, of course. But this wouldn’t be an issue either.

“We’ll just wake up early and head back to the house before you need to leave.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to wake up early? I’m not sure I will. This is always exhausting for me.”

“Don’t worry, Roxy. I’ve got it.”

“Well, if you say so, Rudy…”

Phew.

It had taken a bit more convincing than I expected, but I’d gotten both of their approval!

“All right then, dear. Be gentle with us, please.”

“We’ll do our best.”

Seeing my adorable wives bowing their heads to me, I was ready to get right down to business.

Of course, heading straight to bed wouldn’t have been proper.

We needed to have a nice meal, get a bit tipsy, and whisper some loving words to each other first. You’ve got to set the mood, you know?

Accordingly, we started things off with dinner at the restaurant that occupied the first floor of the inn. The food here was very good in its own right, after all.

I wanted to make sure they both understood that lust wasn’t the only thing I felt toward them. It was there, of course. But I also loved just spending time with them.

When both of them were in the room at once, each of them could only get half the love that I could show them individually. I intended to compensate for that through sheer effort.

“Wow, this looks incredible!”

“I don’t think I’ve seen a meal like this too often…”

As plate after plate of food was delivered to our table, Roxy and Sylphie’s eyes went wide with amazement.

In the Northern Territories, raw ingredients were expensive and hard to buy in bulk, which meant ordinary meals tended to be a little meager. But this was the season where food was most plentiful, and we were also in a very expensive restaurant.

Among other things, we had a huge bowl of salad full of fresh, juicy vegetables; a spicy soup packed with freshwater fish; and a glistening, well-seasoned black and blue steak. None of it was the sort of stuff you got to eat very often in these parts.

In addition, the meal had come with a bottle of whisky-like liquor with a rich aroma.

“This soup is delicious. I wonder how they seasoned it?”

“Hmm. Maybe oil infused with mustard…?”

Sylphie wasn’t touching the alcohol, probably because of Lucie. She was entranced by the soup, though, and kept taking additional servings.

“I should see if I can find a recipe. Rudy, would you try it if I made some?”

She tilted her head at me in a particularly adorable way as she asked this question. It really stoked my appetite, if you know what I mean.

“I’ll gobble it all down. And then have you as a side dish.”

“Oh, come on, Rudy!”

Finally, we had dessert. It was actually a standard part of the meal at this place.

Still, their offering wasn’t exactly comparable to the more complex cakes and sweets you’d find in a place like the Holy Country of Millis. It mainly consisted of fruits that looked a lot like apples. I’d eaten these before, but they were much sourer than the apples from my old world.

At this restaurant, however, they chopped them up into bite-size chunks for you and immersed them in a gooey, honey-like syrup. It tasted something like a candied apple, or maybe a thicker variety of fruit punch. 

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I would have expected apples and honey to taste more like sweet Japanese curry, but apparently, I was mistaken. 

“This is incredible!”

Roxy was particularly pleased by the treat, though. Her eyes shining with excitement, she shoveled it rapidly into her mouth. 

It seemed my dear teacher had something of a sweet tooth. Either that, or the Migurd people had an ingrained preference for sugar.

“It’s so good… I didn’t know you could get anything like this in the Northern Territories!”

Either way, the joy on her face was very real. I was starting to worry she might have an explosive foodgasm in the middle of the restaurant.

“Oh…”

All too quickly, her dessert had disappeared. She stared down at her empty plate regretfully.

“Here, Roxy. You can have mine.”

As I pushed my share over to her, Roxy looked at me in shock. “Really?! Are you sure?!”

I’d been enjoying the dessert myself, of course. But I enjoyed seeing that look of pure delight on her face even more.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Here, say ‘aah’.”

“Hmph. I’m not a child, you know… Aaaah.”

With every bite I fed her, Roxy’s face lit up, and she held a hand to her cheek in bliss.

It made me want to keep going indefinitely, but sadly, my share of the dessert had disappeared as well. We’d have to continue this the next time we came here.

Okay then. We’ve had a nice dinner, and I’ve softened them up with sweets… I think it’s about time.

“You know, ladies…”

“What is it, Rudy?”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve actually reserved a room here, as it happens.”

Ah, this feels good. That was another line I wanted to say at least once!

“…Right. Um, Roxy, I know we talked about this a bit, but…are you sure you’re okay doing this with me?”

“Yes, I think I’m ready for this. Let’s do it.”

Roxy and Sylphie nodded to each other, blushing slightly.

This was going to be a night to remember.

 Legends of the University #8: The Boss is loaded.