Mushoku Tensei (LN) - Volume 13 - Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

The Wedding Ceremony

I’D BEEN PLANNING to sleep alone the night I became a Water King. This was mainly because Roxy and Sylphie were both tuckered out, so it didn’t feel like the time for romance. I was pleasantly tired myself, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself if I got into bed with either of them, so I’d decided we would all sleep in different rooms.

When I mentioned this to Aisha, though, she insisted on sleeping with me herself. This sort of thing had happened plenty of times before. I never actively invited her, but when she asked to sleep with me, I never turned her down. There was no real reason to refuse, so I gave her my permission.

Of course, this was going to be the strictly platonic kind of sleeping. As Aisha celebrated, though, I noticed that Norn was looking on with something that looked like envy in her eyes. Norn was already supposed to be staying over here tonight. Knowing her, though, there probably wasn’t much point in suggesting that she join us.

That was my assumption, at least. But when I threw the offer out there just to be polite, Norn actually took me up on it.

I ended up sandwiched in between my sisters that night. Aisha was lying on my right, and Norn took my left. Before long, they were snoring away with their heads resting on my arms.

Aisha was one thing, but I was a bit perplexed that Norn had gone along with this. Her peaceful little face wasn’t giving me any clues, either. Maybe it was her way of telling me that she’d accepted me as a kind of substitute father. I trust you enough to sleep cuddled up against you, or something like that. Maybe.

I was pinned in place with my arms outstretched, but I felt profoundly happy in that moment.

It was almost if I’d found a part of me that had been missing. Just as a bird needs two wings, perhaps a man needs two sisters on his arms.

This thought gave rise to an idea that sent a jolt running down my spine.

Man, I want to have a threesome with Sylphie and Roxy.

It was the voice of the devil, no doubt, whispering these words into my ear. Some evil snake, its tongue flickering around suggestively, was trying its best to lead me astray.

I couldn’t let myself continue thinking about this. 

In theory, it was something I’d been interested in for many years. But in practice, I had no idea how I’d even begin the conversation. They both loved me, but that didn’t mean they’d be comfortable with a request like that.

I could take “no” for an answer, of course, but what if even asking them destroyed our relationship?

I didn’t think that was likely, but I couldn’t help worrying about it.

It wasn’t like I was dissatisfied with our current arrangement. I was spending alternate nights with two very beautiful women, after all.

What’s more, I was in love with both of them. One had already given me a child. What did I have to complain about? Nothing, that’s what.

That said…I did want to try sleeping with both of them at once. 

Part of it was that they both approached it so differently. 

Sylphie was a bit on the submissive side. As a general rule, she did anything I asked her to in bed. When I suggested we try something new, she’d often lower her eyes anxiously, but she never objected.

That’s not to say she was a dead fish, though. Once we actually got started, she always enjoyed herself. Within a couple minutes she’d be gasping for air and clinging to me desperately. It was obvious how much she wanted to please me, and it was adorable.

Roxy, on the other hand, was something of a technician. She was constantly making use of the things she learned from Elinalise, trying to increase her skills. When I asked her to try something, she’d give some thought to the best way to do it. When I offered to do something myself, she’d make all sorts of suggestions. Given the difference in our sizes, we had some physical challenges to overcome, but she was creative and hard-working enough to find ways around them. And that was just as adorable, in its own way.

Sylphie was the indulgent type, and Roxy was an experimenter. They were both wonderful. I didn’t prefer one over the other.

It was possible I’d eventually start enjoying my time with one of them more, but even then, I wasn’t planning to neglect the other. My intention was to treat them as equally as I possibly could.

Right. I loved both of them equally. So was it really that wrong to think about sleeping with both of them at once?

Surely the answer was no. Any red-blooded man has some interest in such things. It’s simply in our nature!

However, that didn’t mean I was going to voice these thoughts. Sometimes it’s wisest to keep your more extreme desires to yourself if you want to maintain healthy relationships. 

This was the very reason I’d never let myself bring this up before.

As of this moment, at least, I was confident that wasn’t going to change.

The next morning, I headed over to Cliff’s laboratory.

Cliff’s research was focused on the development of magical implements—specifically, ones capable of counteracting curses.

He’d insisted that I was welcome to drop in on him at any time, but whenever I dropped by, I made sure to listen carefully at the door. Depending on the noises I heard from inside, I sometimes had to turn around and leave.

Today, there didn’t seem to be anything problematic going on in there, so I knocked on the door.

“Come in. The door’s open,” called a voice from within.

I stepped into the laboratory to find Elinalise sitting by the far window. She was resting her cheek on her hand and gazing out at the street, her long curly hair glimmering in the sun.

The woman sure was picturesque when she wasn’t talking. But I knew her too well to be impressed—she was probably thinking unspeakably dirty thoughts.

“Are you the only one home, Elinalise?”

“That’s right.”

Cliff was very busy these days, and hadn’t been making much progress on his research. We’d been talking for months about finding the time to improve his existing prototypes using the stones of absorption, but it still hadn’t happened yet.

“Cliff’s off working on the wedding preparations again.”

That right there was one of the major reasons. Cliff and Elinalise were getting married soon.

“I keep offering to help out,” she continued, “But he’s determined to do it all himself.”

“Try not to hold it against him. Men can be prideful about these things, you know?”

Before we left for the Begaritt Continent, Cliff had promised Elinalise he’d marry her when we returned. When we made it back, though, he hadn’t even begun to prepare yet. That wasn’t his fault by any means. We’d told him we might be gone for two years, but we ended up making it back in six months. It would have been odd to find him ready and waiting.

However, Cliff was the kind of guy who took his promises seriously. With remarkable focus and stubbornness, he’d gotten everything arranged over the last few months. First and foremost, he’d found them a place to live, bought the furniture, and planned out everything they needed to move in. For the most part, he handled all of this on his own, although I’d helped out a bit with the real estate hunt. Unlike me, he wasn’t interested in buying a house; he’d eventually settled on renting an apartment in the Student District. If it ever got too cramped for them, he figured they could just move to a bigger place.

I was a bit surprised by that attitude, considering Cliff was something of a show-off by nature. But on the other hand, he wasn’t swimming in cash at the moment, so it was perfectly reasonable. He couldn’t have purchased a pricey home. Not without financial help from Elinalise, at least. I knew she was pretty well-off.

“Oh, and on that note… Congratulations, Elinalise.”

They were in the final stages now. The wedding was scheduled for next month. Something about Elinalise wearing a pure white dress felt slightly out of character, but as long as the two of them were happy, that was all that really mattered.

“You mind if I wait around until Cliff comes back?”

“Not at all.”

Elinalise was keeping up her side of the conversation, but she hadn’t even looked in my direction yet. And now, still gazing out the window, she let out a long, deep sigh. 

It was the kind of sigh that came with its own subtitles: I’m so very troubled. Won’t anyone ask me what’s wrong?

“Are you having second thoughts about the marriage or anything?” I ventured.

“Oh, of course not. Cliff’s so sweet and devoted that I almost feel like I don’t deserve him. I couldn’t be happier that we’re getting married.”

Fair enough. I was only a spectator here, but as fair as I could tell, Cliff was nothing but loving and loyal to Elinalise. That’s not to say that he was a perfect person. He had plenty of flaws. But he was still a young man—not even twenty years old yet, in fact. When you took his potential for future growth into consideration, the guy was a real catch.

“So why do you keep sighing, then?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Ah. I see.”

That meant it was a sex thing, presumably.

“Cliff’s been so busy that he only sleeps with me twice a week!”

Yeah. Figured as much.

“That’s too bad, but what can you do? He’s doing it all for you, Elinalise.”

“Yes, yes. I understand all that, believe me.”

“And once you finally move into your love nest, you probably won’t emerge for a solid week, right?”

I was speaking from experience. The moment we got back from the Begaritt Continent, Elinalise and Cliff had shut themselves up in here for days. It was enough to make you wonder if all they really cared about was the sex. Not that I had any right to say so, given my own healthy libido.

“Sigh…I can’t help being jealous of you, Rudeus.”

“Why? Sometimes I go without for a couple days myself.”

“Yes, but you get to fool around with Sylphie and Roxy at once, don’t you? I’m satisfied with Cliff, of course, but I’m sure you three have a lot of fun together.”

“Wait, what? No! We don’t have threesomes or anything.”

“What, really? That’s a pity. It’s quite a good time, I assure you. Why don’t you give it a shot?”

Oh no! The devil’s tempting me again! Don’t listen to her, Rudeus. Begone, Mara! Amen!

“Scandalous! Disgraceful! I’m going to get you banned from the library, Elinalise!”

“I don’t think Sylphie or Roxy would mind, you know.”

“Easy for you to say, woman! What if I destroy my marriages?!”

“Hmm. I suppose Roxy can be a bit uptight sometimes. She might not react too well if you dropped the idea on her all of a sudden.”

“Yeah! That’s what I’m saying!”

Sylphie tended to go along with anything I proposed. It was hard to know how she felt about things, and sometimes I wondered if she was sacrificing her own desires to please me…but if I told her I wanted to try this, I was confident she’d agree.

Things were different with Roxy, though. Despite her no-nonsense personality, she had a surprisingly innocent side to her. For all I knew, the moment I proposed a threesome she’d start packing her bags to go home to her parents.

“Now that you mention it, though,” Elinalise murmured, “I could speak to them about this. You know…lay the groundwork for you.”

My god! Of course! It’s brilliant!

Roxy might not react well if I brought this up out of nowhere, but she was actively learning new bedroom techniques from Elinalise. Elinalise could easily start dropping a few lessons about threesomes into the curriculum. And Sylphie trusted her advice completely, too.

This was perfect. Almost too perfect! We’d be wrestling around in bed together in no time, and I wouldn’t even have to feel awkward about it!

“Elinalise! You’re a goddess!” 

Was that a halo I saw above her head? Overcome with emotion, I bowed deeply before my savior. 

Elinalise replied in an amused tone of voice, “Well, well. Such flattery. I’m not so sure I actually want to help you, though. It’s not like I’m getting anything out of the bargain.”

“Guh!”

She’d brought up the idea, and now she was refusing to help me? What a terrible woman.

But I couldn’t fight back now. She had me in in the palm of her hand, and she knew it. I had all the willpower of a horse with a carrot dangling in front of its nose. 

“Is there…anything at all…I can do for you, Elinalise?”

As I looked up anxiously at her face, Elinalise grinned wickedly.

The woman really was a villain. Even my smiles didn’t look this evil. Probably.

“Well, I seem to remember hearing something about a rare aphrodisiac from the Kingdom of Asura.”

“Right. I’ve still got that. Never got around to using it.”

“Would you mind giving that to me? As a present?”

She had to be talking about that little bottle of potion I’d received from Luke.

To be honest, I’d never felt the need to rely on that stuff. I had more stamina than either of my wives, so I was afraid I might end up harming them if I took it. The idea of making them take it felt a little wrong, too. I’d never figured out a good way to use it.

“How do you want to use it?”

“To spice up my wedding night.”

“Is that even going to be necessary?”

“It’s a special occasion, dear. I’d rather like to have Cliff on me like a wild beast all night long.”

Sometimes it amazed me how freely Elinalise embraced her own horniness. I mean, it wasn’t like Cliff was constantly walking around in a state of excitement.

“Delicate question, Elinalise, but do you ever get worried that you’ll drive Cliff away with your, uh…appetite?”

“Not at all. We wouldn’t have ended up together in the first place if he couldn’t handle it.”

“Ever considered trying to tone things DOWN for his sake?”

“I could try to restrain myself, but I’d explode eventually. I’d rather be consistently honest about my feelings.”

That was Elinalise for you, all right.

Now that I thought about it, though, Cliff didn’t seem to be forcing himself to keep up with her either. He did his best to please her, but I felt like he knew his own limits.

They both loved each other intensely, in their own distinct ways. That seemed like a fun dynamic for a relationship. I kind of envied them.

“Well, all right then. You’ve got a deal. I’ll bring it over next time I stop by.”

“You’re too kind, dear. Oh, I can’t wait to see what Cliff’s like when he can’t control his passion anymore…”

Elinalise began to drool, her eyes glassy with passion. I was starting to feel a bit worried for my friend, but hopefully the two of them would emerge from this even closer than before.

A month later, I found myself in the only Millis Church in the city of Sharia.

It was a majestic, solemn place; not unlike a Christian cathedral. Rows of simple benches filled most of the space. Up in front, the holy symbol of the Millis faith stood in a pool of sunlight pouring through a huge glass window. And in front of that symbol, a priest was offering a litany of praise to God.

“Saint Millis will always guide you and watch over you.”

A man and a woman stood facing the priest, wearing pure white clothing. Behind them, twenty-odd spectators looked on quietly. 

“Should anyone seek to divide you, his holy shield will protect you. Should anyone seek to harm you, his holy sword will judge them. And should your love prove a lie, his fiery sorrow will pierce the heavens.”

I was one of those spectators. Standing in the very first row, in fact, all dressed up in Asuran-style finery. 

Sylphie stood on my right, and Roxy on my left. Both of them wore modest, formal dresses. We hadn’t owned any of these clothes beforehand, so we’d gone out and bought them for the occasion. I wasn’t sure when we’d need to wear them again, but it couldn’t hurt to have them around.

Ariel and Luke stood on Sylphie’s other side, wearing what looked to be some very expensive clothes of their own. Behind us was another row of VIPs, including Zanoba, Linia, and Pursena. And behind them, there was a row of miscellaneous guests—Ginger, Julie, and two girls who were apparently Ariel’s attendants, among others. I couldn’t see them from where I stood, but Norn and Aisha were somewhere back there, too.

They were both wearing nice dresses today too, but I’d opted to rent those. They were both growing girls, so it felt premature to buy anything. They hadn’t been too pleased about that, of course.

There were some guests I didn’t recognize as well. But unsurprisingly, Nanahoshi hadn’t shown.

In Millis Church weddings, the rows of guests were apparently divided by rank. The very front row was reserved for the highest-ranking spectators, as well as the closest family members of the bride and groom.

Princess Ariel’s presence in the very front was only natural, in other words. And Sylphie was Elinalise’s only relative in the room, which earned her a spot. On the other hand, I was only up here because I was Sylphie’s husband. That made me feel slightly out of place.

Roxy had it worse than me, though. She was up here as my second wife, and the Millis Church didn’t think too highly of bigamy. I think she found the situation a little awkward, since she’d been standing stiffly in place since the ceremony began.

Luke had said there was no need to be self-conscious, since many Asuran nobles took multiple wives despite the doctrines of their church. 

I didn’t think Roxy had anything to feel guilty about either, for the record.

As the ceremony moved steadily along, one exchange caught my attention.

“Cliff Grimor. Do you swear to love Elinalise Dragonroad, and only her, so long as you both do live?”

“I swear to love her until my death.”

Apparently, the Millis Church had marriage vows, too. And Cliff’s choice of words struck me as really heavy. Knowing him, he’d keep his word on this quite literally. Elinalise would be the only woman he touched for the rest of his life.

I admired that kind of faithfulness…although I apparently wasn’t capable of it myself.

“Elinalise Dragonroad. Do you swear to love Cliff Grimor, and only him, so long as you both do live?”

“I swear to love him all my life.”

I wasn’t sure what to think about Elinalise’s vow, though.

I knew she’d try to keep her word. But she had her curse to contend with, and there was also the matter of her lifespan. Cliff was probably going to die before her, and I felt like she’d eventually go looking for someone new to love. And no one could blame her for it, surely.

Still…it was kind of bizarre to see her getting married, considering the whole reason she’d enrolled at the University was to sleep around with a bunch of vigorous young men. Life’s just full of surprises, isn’t it?

“In that case, the groom may place the Necklace of Millis on his bride.”

Cliff carefully accepted a large, heavily ornamented necklace from the priest. It was a standard ceremonial prop, supposedly made in the image of a necklace Saint Millis himself had once worn. Every church had their own copy.

“Bend over a little, Lise,” Cliff whispered under his breath.

“Ah, right. Sorry.”

Elinalise lowered her head slightly, and Cliff got up on tiptoe to place the necklace around her neck. It wasn’t the most graceful moment. Poor guy didn’t seem to be getting any taller.

“And now, the bride may give her groom the promissory kiss,” said the priest.

“Of course.”

Slowly bending over, Elinalise kissed Cliff on his forehead, rather than his lips.

This part of the ceremony was based on a story from the life of Saint Millis.

On the day of his departure for the battlefield, Millis had bestowed his necklace on his “Most Beloved.” In return, she kissed him on the forehead, praying as she did so for his safe return.

Later, when Millis was in grave danger, his Most Beloved held up her necklace to the heavens. Moved by its beauty and the depths of her love, God then interceded to save Millis.

The story was said to be based on real historical events, but it was hard to say how much of it was literally true.

“God in heaven, hear my plea! Grant these two the gift of everlasting love and happiness!”

As he spoke these words, the priest’s wooden staff let out a brilliant burst of light that illuminated the entire church. The newlyweds were silhouetted against the radiance; with their pure-white clothing, it almost looked as if they were melting into it.

It was a lovely, dreamlike moment that seemed to last much longer than it did. Even after the light faded away, Elinalise and Cliff stayed as they were, smiling into each other’s faces. They looked truly happy. And it was obvious they were going to stay that way.

I almost felt guilty for thinking “Huh. So that staff’s a magic implement, right?” instead of cooing at the spectacle. Maybe I was getting a little too pragmatic.

With the ceremony at an end, the guests filed out of the church while the newlyweds looked on. It was a fairly short event, all things considered. Its purpose was solely to prove their mutual love to God, with us serving as witnesses. There wasn’t a reception afterward or anything. Members of the nobility would probably take the opportunity for an afterparty, but unfortunately Cliff was just a student.

Still, if Badigadi had been here, I had a feeling he would’ve loudly demanded that we throw a feast. And I was kind of in the mood to celebrate myself for once. It was a happy occasion, after all.

“That was amazing!”

“The bride looked so beautiful!”

Aisha and Norn were in high spirits as well. They’d been chattering excitedly about the ceremony ever since we left the church. You’d never have guessed that there was any tension between them.

Come to think of it, though, I hadn’t seen them fighting lately. If anything, they were getting along nicely.

“Millis weddings are so romantic, aren’t they?”

“Yeah! I want to wear a dress like that!” 

As my two sisters chirped away, I glanced over at them furtively.

I could see Norn falling in love with someone and putting on her own pure white dress someday. It wasn’t the most pleasant of thoughts. I’d have to give the lucky man a punch to the face as his wedding present.

Aisha, though… I wasn’t so sure about her. It was difficult to imagine her running off to get married. Maybe she’d spend her whole life as the family maid.

“I guess girls do dream about that sort of ceremony, huh?” I said, turning to Sylphie.

“Well, sure. I’m not complaining, though!” she answered with a smile. “Ours was nice in its own way. I liked how intimate it was.”

Of course, if she wanted her own proper wedding ceremony, we could manage something similar. We weren’t members of the Millis Church, though, so it would be more of an imitation than anything else. Cliff would probably agree to officiate if I got down on my knees and begged him.

I wouldn’t hesitate to grovel for Sylphie’s sake, either. A good man puts his wife before his dignity.

“…”

Someone had tugged silently at my left sleeve. I turned to find Roxy looking up at me.

She’d put on some makeup for the occasion, which only enhanced her beauty. The blush on her cheeks looked to be purely natural, though.

“…Do you want to have a wedding ceremony of your own, Roxy?”

The two of us had never gotten around to formally celebrating our marriage. The timing had a lot to do with it—we’d just delivered the news of Paul’s death, after all. But in addition to that, the Migurd had no tradition of matrimonial ceremonies. Roxy had told me upfront that it wouldn’t be necessary.

Still, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she’d changed her mind after today.

“No, that won’t be necessary. But, uh…try to read between the lines, will you?”

With that, Roxy closed her eyes and puckered up.

I wasn’t entirely sure what had prompted this, but I wasn’t about to pass up on such a delightful invitation. Taking Roxy by the shoulders, I pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead.

“Wha—”

“Sorry about that. Your forehead’s particularly adorable today.”

“I-Is it…? Hee hee.”

Roxy seemed a bit confused at first, probably because of where I’d planted my kiss. But once I complimented her, a big goofy smile spread across her face.

The woman was truly easy to manipulate. But that was just another part of what made her charming. 

Okay, I think I’ve made up my mind. It has to be Roxy tonight…

“Oh! Rudy, give me one too!”

Clinging to my right arm, Sylphie pushed her head toward me expectantly.

Naturally, I wasn’t about to disappoint her. Why would I hesitate to plant a kiss on a beautiful woman’s forehead?

“Hee hee hee…”

Despite the fact that she’d initiated the kiss, Sylphie pressed a hand to her forehead and giggled bashfully.

Does she have to be so cute all the time? Gah. Now I want to sleep with her tonight! But also Roxy…

Hmm. What about both of them at once?

I wasn’t sure if Elinalise had finished laying the groundwork for me yet. It had been a while since I asked her, though, and I’d given her the aphrodisiac some time ago.

Maybe it was safe to give this a shot…

“Rudeus, could you try to control yourself?” said Norn, interrupting my leering session. “We’re in public.”

The look on her face clearly conveyed the unspoken part of her message: I just saw a very nice wedding, but your degeneracy is kind of killing the mood. I understood how she felt. It’s not much fun watching your brother seducing a woman, let alone two of them at once.

“Aw, is somebody a widdle jealous?”

“What the— Gah! Quit it!”

By ways of an apology, I gave Norn a big hug and planted a kiss on her forehead. Blushing, she pulled herself away and started rubbing furiously at the spot where my lips had touched her.

What a splendid sight.

“…”

Aisha took all of this in with an extremely envious look on her face. It was obvious she wanted to be included, but feared that I might turn her down. Not that she had any reason to be worried, of course.

“Aisha!”

With my best attempt at a warm, loving smile, I turned to her and spread my arms wide.

“Rudeus!”

Her face shining with joy, Aisha leapt toward me. After receiving her forehead kiss, she snuggled against me like a happy cat. Fwahaha! Come. Suffer in my embrace!

Still, I couldn’t say I approved of her twining her legs around mine like this in public. She was wearing a dress and all, so she was probably exposing her underwear.

“Aisha, cut it out with your legs. You’ve got a dress on, remember? I’m assuming you don’t want to flash everyone on the street.”

“Okay! Got it!”

Hopping away from me with a satisfied grin, Aisha got right back to trotting down the street.

What was I going to do with her? True, she was only eleven years old, which made her a child. But sadly, there are some gentlemen out there who regard anyone over the age of ten as fair game. I needed her to be more careful.

“…”

As I set off after my sister, a stray thought popped into my head.

In a letter he wrote some time ago, Paul had suggested that we celebrate once our family was reunited. I’d been meaning to do something along those lines, but somehow six months had slipped past without it happening.

We hadn’t held a party for Aisha and Norn on their fifth or tenth birthdays, either. I felt guilty about that, especially since I’d been treated to a big bash at their age. 

It’s always nice to have someone celebrate for you, right?

Yeah, okay. Let’s have us a party.

 Legends of the University #7: The Boss is a big shot.