Monster no Goshujin-sama - Volume 3 - Chapter 10

Chapter 10: The Puppet’s Friend ~Rose’s POV~

“Mana. How do you feel about my master?”

Mana’s face twitched and then froze. My words must have touched upon an extremely sensitive part within her. Nobody had touched it before. Or maybe...she herself had no intention of allowing anyone to touch it. Here in this moment, I took a step toward the portion of herself that Mana kept hidden.

“...Let’s not, okay? Nothing pleasant will come from this conversation.”

Mana’s reply was detached, at least on the surface. The fact that she managed to regain her usual expressionless demeanor was just as I would expect of her.

“Hey, Rose. Wasn’t today lots of fun? Well, I guess some of it was pretty embarrassing for me, and I ended up hurting Gerbera... But it was a fun day, wasn’t it? Ending it by talking about something weird will spoil the entire day. It’d be such a waste. So let’s stop there, okay?”

“No. I won’t stop.”

I shook my head. It certainly had been fun. Even though we had made several blunders, we could look back and laugh at those as well. This was a fragment of our everyday lives. No matter how trivial a matter, it was a precious treasure which belonged only to us.

Just as she said, going further could possibly spoil the entire day, or maybe even send everything we had accumulated together tumbling down. What I was trying to do here was possibly equivalent to destroying our treasure.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t stop this conversation. It might be dangerous, but I couldn’t fear stepping forth. I was convinced of this. Mana’s smile when she gazed at the fortress was just that fleeting, like it could vanish at any moment.

“I’ve had a doubt in my mind for quite some time now,” I said, daring to step in. It was none other than Mana herself who gave me the strength to do so. “My master was suspicious of you. And you know that for yourself. However, you continued to support him.”

“...What’s there for you to doubt about that, Rose? I’ll apologize if I’ve offended you in some way.”

“Nonsense. There’s no need to apologize.” I shook my head. “I just wondered. With your abilities, you could’ve done things another way.”

All this time, I had been watching both my master and Mana. They were always on my mind. I wanted to understand them. I could take pride in the fact that nobody else devoted their thoughts to these two as much as I did. It was because of this that I harbored such doubts.

I recalled the night I had gone to my master to get permission to teach Mana about magic. Distrust and a lack of understanding had swirled within his heart. My master suffered from a severe distrust in humanity, stemming from his horrible experience when the Colony was destroyed. He might feel differently now, but at least up until that night, he had viewed Mana with abnormally distrustful eyes. But was my master’s trauma really the only cause for this? I couldn’t help but doubt this to be the case.

My master was suspicious of Mana. And knowing that, Mana had continued to support him. Back during the fight with the then-nameless Gerbera, Mana had not only drafted the plan, but she exposed her own life to danger. She had even taken the thankless role of helping Lily regain her composure. The reason she continued to help me understand my still inexperienced heart was obvious now that we were friends. But before that, her initial reasons for doing so were in no small part because I was my master’s servant.

She didn’t grumble a single complaint, nor did she get angry. She didn’t sulk. She had no strength in battle whatsoever. She earnestly continued searching for something she could do—without asking for a single thing in return.

It was only natural to doubt her reasons for acting as she did. I simply couldn’t understand her motives at the time. So, didn’t it make perfect sense to doubt her Wasn’t it the obvious reaction to the question of why she would do such a thing? Also, she carried a deep sickness in her heart, much like my master did. Wouldn’t one suspect she was plotting for some hidden compensation? And if that compensation had to be kept hidden, then it must’ve been born of some shady reason. Having misgivings about what exactly she was scheming wasn’t all that strange.

To borrow Mana’s own words, her behavior only showed the desire “to do something for someone.” “Wanting to do something,” and “wanting someone to do something for you” didn’t exist here. Such desires were supposed to reveal one’s human-like qualities, yet I couldn’t see any such humanity within Mana no matter how much I looked...

The mysterious thing here was how the situation was completely different with me. I had never really suspected Mana of anything like my master did, but when she had lent me her hand, she genuinely expressed her feelings. “I feel sympathy,” “I’m grateful,” “I want to be your friend.” And yet she had never put in the effort to come to such a mutual understanding with my master. In a sense, it was like she was watering the sprouts of his suspicion.

And then there was the biggest problem. If I could notice this with my immature mind, then there was no way Mana didn’t, considering her wisdom. In which case, I could only come to one conclusion.

“Mana, are you acting in a way to purposefully make my master suspicious of you?”

From my master’s eyes, Mana definitely looked suspicious. At the very least, he didn’t see the Katou Mana I knew. All he saw was the figure of a “monster,” in a sense, hiding its scheming fangs.

I was starting to wonder whether this wasn’t only because of the filter he looked through, where everything looked suspicious. It was precisely because Mana herself had been acting that way that my master continued to distrust her.

“Say you’re right...” Mana didn’t deny what I said and cocked her head to the side. “Why would I do such a thing?”

“I didn’t know for myself until just now.”

No one would know the answer to that, even if they had a deeper understanding of humans than I did. Who in the world would purposefully act in a way to invite distrust in themselves? In a sense, it was an act of self-harm. There was no reason to do something so absurd. That was why I had convinced myself it was just my imagination, even though I found Mana’s behavior until now to be rather strange.

“But after watching you moments ago, I figured it out. Mana...” I looked right into my friend’s eyes from behind my mask. “You don’t want my master to trust in humans.”

Mana remained silent. Her eyes widened ever so slightly. Anyone else would’ve likely overlooked this. But that faint manifestation of emotion was more than enough for me to be fully convinced. And backed by my newfound conviction, I continued to press her.

“Trusting you would mean that my master decided he could once more put his trust in humans... I can’t even imagine it. It’s surely not as simple as it sounds. It might even be impossible for him to accomplish on his own. I wouldn’t be much help, and Gerbera is the same in this regard. Ayame and Asarina don’t even need mentioning. The only one who could support him in this is the one closest to his heart, Lily.”

Having said that, my elder sister was somewhat indecisive about this problem in her own way. That was a different matter, though.

“It would be difficult for anyone to help my master restore his faith in humanity. However, if I were you, I think I’d be able to unshackle my master’s heart from its fetters.”

“...I really think you’re overestimating me here.” A genuine but bittersweet smile took shape on Mana’s face.

“Is that so? I don’t think I am, but it may be the case if you say so, Mana.”

I couldn’t deny her if she said so herself. But I couldn’t believe that to be true either. Mana was an amazing girl. She had guided my inexperienced heart to its current state. I could believe in her. I did believe in her. That was more than enough for me to continue pushing.

“We can hypothesize all we want, but the reality is you’ve never once tried to dispel my master’s misunderstanding, right?”

“...I can’t deny that. But why does that make you think I don’t want Majima-senpai to trust in humans?”

“That’s...”

Mana’s question brought back the image of her earnest gaze I saw just moments ago. She had been staring at the fortress with the same amount of passion as I was, if not more. And if her heart harbored the same feelings as mine...

“That’s because you don’t want to leave my master’s side.”

The conversation returned to the very reason I brought this up in the first place. Mana wished to remain by my master’s side, just as I did. Everything made sense if that was the case. Unlike me, Mana’s relationship with my master had a deadline, after all.

“From the very beginning, my master said he would bring you along until he found somewhere safe to leave you. As he is now, he feels deeply indebted to you. No, even without that, he would never abandon you irresponsibly. He fully intends to take responsibility and search for a place you’ll be safe... But this is a very difficult thing to accomplish.”

“Difficult, you say?”

“Yes. Judging from his personality, there’s no way my master can leave you, whom he is greatly indebted to, with anyone he can’t trust. But on the other hand, he can’t trust humans. As such, there’s no place in the world where he can safely leave you. So long as my master doesn’t trust humans, that is...”

Regardless, he would continue to search, and one day, he would fulfill his responsibility in some form. I had no doubts about this. I knew full well this wasn’t something I had to worry about. Yes. There was nothing to worry about... But it was also true it would be difficult. And because of that, it would take that much longer to accomplish. This was where I found the motive behind Mana’s practically masochistic behavior.

“Even a time-limited relationship can be extended by pushing back the deadline. If dispelling my master’s suspicions and undoing his misunderstandings would bring the deadline closer, then I don’t believe you would dare to do so. And if that’s your motive, I can understand your baffling behavior.”

However, the outcome of her actions was far too barren. Even I was pained by it. By making him continuously suspect her, Mana was able to stay by my master’s side. That did in fact allow their relationship to continue. But in exchange, their relationship would never deepen.

“You wish to remain near my master, even if he suspects you the entire time. That’s just how strong your feelings for him are. Isn’t that why you exhaust your strength for his sake without hoping for anything in return?”

This feeling of hers was perhaps something like a prayer. No matter what Mana did, there was a possibility my master would conquer his distrust of humans. If that were to happen, their time-limited relationship would come to an end. All that would be left was a girl who had been continuously distrusted. I couldn’t possibly remain silent and watch that unfold.

“Mana, I believe you harbor very strong feelings for my master. So, why do you make light of these feelings? Were you not the one to tell me not to kill my emotions?”

Even if she didn’t use such a roundabout method, she could still remain by his side. Mana was consciously choosing to take the most painful path, turning her back on her own happiness.

If she didn’t want to part with him, she could just tell him that. If she harbored some kind of special feelings for him, then she could just convey them to him. Unlike me, Mana knew what her emotions were, meaning she could express them at any time.

“I can somehow tell... Aren’t your feelings for him the same as mine?”

“You need to put in the effort to realize your dreams. Yours is one which can be fulfilled, after all.”

Mana’s own words came to mind. If my dream could be fulfilled, what exactly was a dream that couldn’t be fulfilled? She had told me I couldn’t give up. And yet who was the one actually giving up here? Why was it that she sympathized with us servants? Why did she always say that she was jealous? Even her plan to thrust unattainable happiness in front of the white arachne to crush her heart seemed like it was a result of this self-tormenting behavior.

If so, the girl named Katou Mana was an endlessly tragic person. There was no way I could possibly let her be. Therefore...

“Mana, how do you feel about my master?” I asked her the same question once more.

Mana stared at me with a fixed gaze, as if she was probing my mind. I returned in kind. I had no intention of backing down here. And after a short while, she suddenly smiled.

“...I’m honestly surprised.”

It was a transparent smile with no shadow hanging over it. It felt so clear that just touching it would shatter it to pieces, yet it didn’t show a glimpse of what was within. It was a gentle smile, much like the one she made when gazing at the fortress... Why was that? It made my heart feel restless.

“You always lamented not being able to understand the subtleties of the heart and not being able to understand your master. I didn’t think you’d notice this quickly.”

“It’s not all that surprising, is it? I still have a long way to go.” I knew of my inadequacies better than anyone. “But you were the one who taught me everything regarding this, after all.”

“I see. You were able to realize precisely because it’s me. That makes me feel a little ticklish.”

Mana was my teacher. She was the closest person to me. That was why someone as inexperienced as me could see the truth within her. Besides, there was one other reason. Mana never tried to deceive me.

Toying with me by playing with her words would have been a trifle to her. It was her sincerity which prevented her from doing so. She wanted to face me properly as a friend. This assured me that I hadn’t made a mistake by becoming her friend. Because of that, I absolutely couldn’t leave her be.

Seeing me harden my resolve, Mana’s smile turned slightly bitter. “How do I feel about Majima-senpai, huh” she muttered, clasping her hands behind her back and turning around on the spot. Once more, the fortress reflected in her eyes. “It’s not all that complicated. It’s actually pretty normal, almost expected.”

I couldn’t see whether or not she was smiling anymore. Now clad in a somewhat ephemeral air, Mana continued quietly.

“But you may not be able to understand it yet, Rose... You don’t understand what kind of emotions a girl harbors toward the boy who saved her from something beyond horrible...”

She would collapse if I touched her carelessly. She would vanish if I took my eyes off her. Mana’s already delicate and small body now had an ominous sense of transparency to it. And yet, I couldn’t say anything as I stood next to her.

Just as she said, I didn’t understand. I still couldn’t grasp this feeling within me. I couldn’t understand the feeling in Mana’s heart, even though it was the same as mine. I couldn’t say anything. I had no choice but to remain silent.

Mana turned back to me as I stood there quietly. “I have no intention of telling Majima-senpai my feelings.”

“...Why...?!”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Her tone was quiet, through and through. Her hushed voice conveyed her resignation. I couldn’t maintain my composure.

“Why?! You know it’s important! You taught me it is! So, why...?!”

“I mean, this is all I have.”

Mana’s smile, though faded, didn’t crumble. Seeing her puppet-like expression finally made me realize... The wound in her heart hadn’t healed in the least.

“I’m not a strong person. I could have easily died in the chaos the day the Colony fell. And yet I managed to survive thanks to Mizushima-senpai. Then, she died. And this time, I should’ve died in that hut. It was thanks to Majima-senpai that I didn’t... But by that time, pretty much everything inside me was already gone.”

She wasn’t so strong that she could live through such a horrible experience, fall into despair, and still get back up on her feet. Or perhaps humans simply weren’t made all that strong to begin with.

There were certainly cases where a disastrous experience would lead one to choose their own death. For those who continued to choose life, nobody could criticize them if they never recovered.

It was truly rare for a human to swallow such malice as if it were nourishment, stand back up firmly on their feet, and march forward even while burdened with unhealable wounds. If these heroes were able to laugh it off and forgive everything without feeling anything, they were simply monsters.

In that sense, Mana was ordinary. She was a commonplace girl, as delicate as any other. And that once weak and delicate girl who went by the name Katou Mana had died in that hut. She might have had a pulse. She might even have been breathing. Her skin had surely been warm. However, back then, she lost what was most precious to her. Her heart had died.

“Majima-senpai led you two in and saved me. It was the first time he seriously thought to kill someone. He was spurred on by Mizushima-senpai’s death, the malice that had caused her demise, and the irrationality which infects this world... So much happened to him. Too much, even. I’m sure Senpai’s heart was frozen solid at the time. And yet, the first thing he did was check on me. He entered the hut and walked straight toward me. At that time, I felt like I touched his heart.”

Mana’s pigtails swayed as she shook her head.

“That was, of course, a delusion. I know. I’m human. I’m not connected to him by his mental path. I guess this probably sounds a little insensitive of me, since you’re his servant... But I didn’t care even if it was a delusion. I lost absolutely everything. I was hollow, empty. It was the one and only warmth I could cling to.”

She put her hand to her chest. It was as if she was trying to remember the sensation she had once experienced.

“In the instant I met him, something filled that cavity within me. I didn’t know what it was at first, but I felt like I had to go with him. I only realized what this was on that night Gerbera attacked us. After I did, I had to act. That’s how I ended up as I am today.”

After being trampled down, reduced to tatters, with everything inside her dying once already, all that was left was for her physical body to follow the rest of her into death. But a certain emotion toward the boy who saved her had welled up within this once empty girl. It became her driving force. It allowed her to move what had once stopped functioning.

In a sense, this was very similar to us servants. The only difference was that we didn’t have anything to begin with, whereas she had lost everything. Mana lost everything except for that single emotion. And with nothing in her possession, she had nothing to lose. That was why Mana was strong now. So strong she could bring down Lily’s heart. So strong she could stand before Gerbera when she was our enemy without showing a single hint of fear.

She had already died. Hence, there was nothing to fear. She was just a moving corpse. Even if her body stopped, it wouldn’t change anything. She had no regrets. No fixations. There wasn’t a single thing in this world keeping her soul here. She didn’t hesitate in the face of fear, and she didn’t even flinch as death brushed by her. She simply pushed forward toward her goal. So, right now, that made her a monster.

Using that single emotion within her as fuel, she was nothing more than a living corpse walking toward her goal. That was the true identity of the monster known as Katou Mana.

“If my feelings for Majima-senpai vanish, I’ll return to being a corpse. If I told him, and he rejected me, it would be the end.”

“Is that why you refuse to tell him? Is that really all right with you...?”

“It doesn’t matter. This is the ideal result, isn’t it?” Mana was perfectly serious. “Majima-senpai surmounted the greatest crisis possible in the white arachne’s attack. Lily has already conquered her unreliable nature. You’ve accepted Gerbera. All that’s left is for you to convey your feelings to him. You won’t even really need my help to accomplish that anymore. Even if I’m gone, you’ll all be fine. Your heart has grown more than I thought it would, Rose. It may take some time, but you’ll do well all on your own.”

“Mana... Are you...?”

The transparent smile Mana directed at me made me tremble. I knew she was searching for things she could do. What she had already done for my master and us servants didn’t even need to be mentioned. Her sudden interest in learning healing magic was also linked to this. Everything she had done up until now, no matter how small a thing it was, was all done as a result of her desperately racking her mind to find something she could do for us, even though she possessed next to no power here in this world. But what if she lost everything? It was still fine while she was moving toward her goal. But what if that goal was gone?

I looked at Mana’s smile and truly felt like she could vanish at any moment. My instincts were correct. The smile before my eyes right now was the smile of one who accepted she could vanish. Mana desired to disappear with her one and only emotion still intact within her heart. Unveiling that feeling to my master and losing such a special emotion was unacceptable to her.

As such, Mana could already see “the end.” That was why her smile was so fleeting when she looked at the fortress my master was staying in.

“It’s okay, Rose. There’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m sure everyone will be fine,” she said in a considerate voice, sensing the unrest within me.

But in contrast to her words, Mana herself wasn’t part of her considerations. When she said “everyone,” she didn’t include herself. That future was far too difficult for me to accept...

“Everyone will obtain happiness, and Majima-senpai and all who surround him will have a happy ending. So...”

“Please don’t say such foolish nonsense!”

Before I knew it, I cut her off with a loud voice.

“Rose...?”

Mana looked at me with a blank gaze.

Aah, her lack of understanding is really aggravating. The fact that she couldn’t understand my anger here was an embodiment of the distortion in her heart. She had broken down a long time ago already. Despite being so sharp about the subtleties of others, her own heart was nothing more than a scrapyard. It was far too ironic.

“Please stop saying such foolish nonsense. Everyone will obtain happiness? There’s no way that’s true, is it? You’re not a part of that, after all.”

“...Aah. You really are kind, Rose,” she said with a bitter smile. “But you don’t need to worry about me. I’m human. I’m not Senpai’s servant. I’m nothing more than a minor role in the story of Majima-senpai and his servants. Besides, I was pretty much dead already. Hoping for happiness now is nothing more than an unfulfillable dream.”

My words didn’t reach her. It was practically hopeless. What was I supposed to do?

“You can’t kill your own emotions.”

“Don’t give up.”

“Your dream is one which can be fulfilled.”

I couldn’t repeat any of the words Mana had told me before. I didn’t have the strength to say them. Mana knew her own emotions, and since I couldn’t understand what this feeling I harbored toward my master was, I couldn’t overthrow her determination. No matter how much anyone told her to be happy, there was no way those words would reach her if she didn’t recognize the value of such happiness herself.

So... So, what? What do I do? What can I do? Do I just give up, shut my mouth, and accept Mana’s excuse? Do I stand by as she eventually vanishes and live on happily with my master?

There was no way I could possibly accept such a thing. I had to reach her somehow or other. I was convinced. Mana was wrong. She was making a hopelessly fatal mistake. But she didn’t even realize she was making a mistake. It wasn’t like her at all. Even though she smiled as if she understood, she didn’t get it. That only stood to reason. Even if she had already accepted her own death, there was no way she understood everything in the world.

Even my master worried over his own immaturity, and Mana was a year younger than him. She knew more than I did, but there were things she didn’t know. There were things I knew of that she didn’t.

I had to get it across to her...but how was I supposed to do that? My heart was screaming, “Your way is wrong!” And yet I couldn’t build an argument for it. I couldn’t convey my feelings to her.

It was vexing. Frustrating. My own worthlessness sent shivers down my body. I thought I had grown up a little, yet was I really unable to save my one and only friend? Why weren’t we connected by the mental path? If we were, Mana wouldn’t have tormented herself to this point...

“Mana, I...”

Nevertheless, I had to do something to reach her. I obstinately started to weave my words, but I wasn’t able to tell her anything. It wasn’t because I failed. It definitely wasn’t because I gave up. I simply lost my chance to do so.

◆ ◆ ◆

“Huh?”

I heard a faint noise. It resounded from far away and was drawing closer. It was quiet at first, but it gradually grew louder and louder as it began to mix with sounds of destruction.

“Tremors?”

Something was running down the side of the hill toward this cliff. It was rapidly getting closer, and whatever it was, there were a lot of them. Danger was approaching. I had to take Mana and get—

I won’t make it. They’re too fast...!

“Th-This is...?!”

Sheer mass and momentum trampled down anything in its path, smashing thickets to pieces and sending leaves flying up into the air. A giant green caterpillar appeared before us. It was a monster we had encountered in this area after heading north from the arachne nest, a bull wriggler. Its primary means of attack was using its giant body as a powerful ram, relying on its tenacious vitality as a weapon.

Frankly speaking, it wasn’t much of an enemy. I’m a rare monster. After I became my master’s servant, I defeated dozens of monsters and accumulated combat experience to match that. Even if I was a step or two behind in combat ability compared to the likes of Gerbera and Lily, I could still defeat a bull wriggler in a one-on-one fight.

There wasn’t just one of them, however. It was rather strange, but not impossible. Once in a while, so long as they were the same species of creature, monsters would sometimes form a group and act in concert, even if they weren’t like firefangs who typically worked in packs. That was why it wasn’t their unity itself that shook me; it was the sheer number of them.

“S-So many...?!”

There were enough bull wrigglers to completely flood my vision. Some were slipping through the trees, some just trampled them down, but they were all charging down the hillside. There were nearly a hundred of them. It made me wonder if all the bull wrigglers in this entire region had massed together. It was clearly unusual. What could’ve caused this...? Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of such things, though.

A portion of the bull wrigglers charging down the slope was headed toward the cliff we were standing on. The sound of their mandibles chittering grew closer. In no time at all, those compound eyes, three on each side of their heads, closed in on us...

“Mana!”

“Eep!”

I grabbed Mana and jumped. A bull wriggler plowed through the spot she had just been occupying and tumbled off the cliff. I managed to get out of the way, but I didn’t have time to feel relieved. The ledge clinging to the side of this cliff was narrow, and there were more charging bull wrigglers heading right toward where we were about to land.

“Hyah!”

It was far too risky to collide with them with Mana still in my arms. Thus, I threw the battleaxe in my hand at the large caterpillar. Bull wrigglers were tenacious. It would be difficult to kill one with a single thrown weapon. Still, it could at least stop one in its tracks if the blow was hardy enough.

The axe crashed into the monster. The black magic blade sank into the caterpillar’s green shell. It crushed the three compound eyes on one side of its head as its sturdy shell snapped apart. A weighty and ominous sound resounded in the air as the axe buried itself into the monster’s meaty cranium.

It was a critical hit, far more than I could hope for...and yet its charge didn’t stop. It didn’t even flinch. The bull wriggler was still coming for us.

“No way...?!”

No damage at all?! That’s impossible! Its head was split clean in two. Even if it didn’t die on the spot because of its vitality as an insect, there was no way it could keep moving without stopping for even a single instant. How could such a thing—

“Ugh! You damn bug!”

I didn’t have time to intercept it with the spare axe on my back. I also couldn’t dodge it, seeing that I was still in midair from avoiding the last caterpillar. My only choice was to endure. I turned the round shield on my arm toward the incoming caterpillar, holding Mana in both arms as my feet finally landed on the ground. I supported her head and shoulders as I stuck out my left side and braced for impact.

“G-Gah?!”

A terrifying shock assaulted my wooden body. My feet just barely managed to gain traction, carving their way through the ground. To think I was forced to take a direct hit from a power-type monster of all things. My joints were screaming. At this rate, some part of my body was sure to break. But even though I knew that, I couldn’t leap back to escape the impact. All that was behind me was a sheer cliff.

“Ugh, hnngh...!”

Unable to withstand anymore, my feet began to slip. I dug my toes into the ground like a rake, but they couldn’t endure the force and several of them snapped off.

“Guh...”

I managed to stop the charge right on the very brink. One more step back and we would’ve tumbled down this cliff.

“Somehow, we’re...”

I felt a small sense of relief. My entire body was creaking, but I withstood its charge. With that attack negated, a bull wriggler was nothing to fear. All that was left was to lower Mana to the ground and then my hands would be free.

“Rose! Not yet!”

“Wha—?!”

Mana screamed, and just a moment later, I realized the situation we were in. A giant shadow circled around the body of the bull wriggler, appearing right before me. It was a giant beast-type monster. Its fiendish red eyes looked down at me from its rabbit-shaped head while its bear-shaped body prepared to strike. This was a rough rabbit. Unlike the bull wriggler, the rough rabbit had closed in with agile movements and was already taking a swing with one of its thick arms.

Why are a bull wriggler and a rough rabbit in the same place...? That question was smashed to bits by the thick arm coming down at me.

◆ ◆ ◆

My memories of what happened weren’t clear. I had been solely focused on moving my body. Before I knew it, I was clinging to the side of the cliff, about halfway down to the bottom.

“...Ma...na...”

The first thing that came to mind was my precious friend Mana.

Mana... Where’s Mana...? Good. She’s still in my arms. She was looking up at me, her face pale. The scratch on her cheek looked painful, but she didn’t appear to be badly injured.

“Are you...hurt...Mana?”

Nevertheless, I had to be sure. I couldn’t leave anything to chance. Lily, the only one among us who could use healing magic, wasn’t here. I couldn’t afford to let Mana get badly injured.

“Rose! Rose!”

A crying voice answered my question. Mana’s cute features were stained with tears. I cocked my head ever so slightly, wondering what could’ve happened to make her cry. And with a clunk, my left eyeball tumbled out of its socket. The fabricated eye bounced about and fell down the cliff, vanishing into the distance.

“...Oh.”

Now I remembered. I had been struck right in the face by the rough rabbit. The blow wasn’t fatal, and I couldn’t sense the monster anywhere nearby. Perhaps it was under the impression we had died from the fall.

The mask I had been wearing was now smashed to pieces. Judging by how my eyeball just fell out, the face I had put so much effort into was already cruelly damaged. Having said that, it was just decorative, so losing an eyeball didn’t affect my combat capabilities.

In any case, I had to get a grasp of my own condition. I carefully pressed myself against the steep cliff and touched my face with my empty hand.

But nothing actually touched my face.

My left hand was completely missing from the wrist down.

My memory came rushing back. The hit from the rough rabbit sent me tumbling down the cliffside with Mana still in my arms. As I fell at full speed, all I could focus on was the danger to Mana’s life. I had stabbed my left hand into the cliff on the spur of the moment, but because we had already built up a significant amount of speed, the rock just filed down my hand from my fingertips all the way to my wrist.

It hadn’t been a pleasant experience to have my hand shaved off like that, but it wasn’t as bad as losing my life. All I had to do now was desperately cling to the cliffside. It was actually quite fortunate I had somehow managed to kill our momentum.

I had held up my knee during the fall so that Mana wouldn’t hit the side of the cliff. There was a fair bit of damage there too. The clothes I had borrowed from Lily were also torn here and there. My feet dug into the cliffside, keeping us from falling, but I couldn’t feel any of my toes.

Having finished my self-examination, I turned to look at Mana. “So, Mana. Let me ask you once more, are you hurt anywhere?”

“Forget about me!” Mana uncharacteristically screamed as she stretched her hand out to my face. She pressed her palm against it as if covering the broken left half. “What about you?! Are you okay?! There’s so much damage... Your entire body is a mess!”

“I don’t really mind.”

“There’s no way you don’t!”

“I don’t. I mean, you’re safe and sound, Mana.”

Mana’s eyebrows rose considerably. It was an extremely rare display of her anger.

“What are you saying?! Please have more concern for yourself!”

“I do,” I replied immediately.

Mana’s lips were trembling. She was at a loss for words. She could tell I wasn’t just answering her noncommittally. A faint sense of bewilderment ran across her dirtied face.

“I’m properly caring for myself,” I said to her. “I’m not making light of myself. You taught me this, Mana. My master also told me the same thing.”

It didn’t really need to be said after all this time. I wasn’t particularly smart, but I felt like I couldn’t possibly be that stupid. Even I had grown up somewhat.

“But it can’t really be helped, right? I think of my master as more important than myself, even after I learned to treat myself dearly... And I think of you in the same way, Mana.”

“M-Me...?”

Mana was clearly dismayed. Her eyes shot wide open as if she couldn’t believe it. This was perfectly understandable. There was a time I thought I’d never meet another human who I could speak of on the same level as my master. But now I was different.

I nodded in affirmation. “Yes. So please don’t die, Mana.”

I finally realized what I needed to convey to this girl who had given up on everything. I didn’t regret becoming a total mess as a result of desperately trying to protect her. By doing so, I was able to once more realize what was important to me, and just how precious it was.

“Please stop saying ‘someone like me.’ Please don’t disappear on me. I need you, Mana.”

“R-Rose...?”

“Didn’t you just say that the day we spent together was fun? Didn’t you truly enjoy yourself talking with my master? I was really happy to see you like that, Mana. Really, really happy. So please...”

I stopped thinking about the minor details. I stopped thinking about how to convey my feelings to her. If doing such things made me hold my tongue, then logic and reason were meaningless. I decided to simply voice all of these feelings within my heart. It would be fine. Mana would surely understand. I believed so. Thus, I spoke.

“Please live. Please be happy. There’s no way my story can have a happy ending if you don’t get one as well, now is there?”

“Well...”

Mana looked utterly astonished. She had just realized her own miscalculation.

In truth, Mana had failed. She didn’t find any value in her own happiness. She merely kept walking, keeping her feelings for my master to herself without sparing a single glance toward her own happiness. Just walking and walking. She had perfected this way of life to the point that I could do nothing about it up until now.

On the other hand, she genuinely valued the happiness of everyone other than herself. If not, she wouldn’t have helped me so sincerely in trying to grant my wish. Mana had thrown away her own happiness, yet she couldn’t disregard mine. It was like she was denying her very own efforts in doing so.

Above all else, however, her heart was unable to make light of others by nature. Thus, seeing as I couldn’t establish my own happiness without her, she couldn’t ignore me. In other words, Mana had lost the opportunity to give up on her own happiness.

“U-Uh...”

The ephemeral atmosphere that had wrapped around Mana all this time vanished. That feeling like she could disappear at any moment was no longer there. She was right here. She was definitely in my arms looking up at me.

“B-But, that can’t...that can’t be...” Her objection was awkward and hesitant. So much so that one would never expect it was coming from Mana. “Your happiness...has nothing to do...”

“I’ll get angry if you say it has nothing to do with you, Mana.”

She trembled with a start. She was like a small, frightened child. So, I spoke to her in as gentle a tone as I could.

“Weren’t you the one to say you wanted to be friends?”

“...Ah.”

This was the one mistake Mana had made. I didn’t think myself so cruel and heartless that I could know of my friend’s tragic intentions and go on to be happy all on my own. If she truly wished to quietly disappear, she should never have become my friend. It was a massive failure that she could no longer take back. I wouldn’t let her take it back.

“Please don’t say something so sad like you have nothing left other than your feelings for my master.”

If Mana truly had nothing, then she was a monster. And if so, then just by becoming my friend, she was no longer a monster. She was just a girl. She was my precious friend. And seeing that she wasn’t a monster, my words could reach her.

“Please let me pray for my friend’s fortune. Please show me your own happiness. I don’t want a happy ending where you’re not there with me, Mana.”

I tried to wipe away the tears flowing from her eyes, but then I noticed I didn’t actually have a hand to do so. After thinking it over a bit, I used the hand I was carrying her with to push her face against my body. Tears began staining the clothes on my chest. I could feel the slightest shuddering against me.

“Rose, I-I’m...”

She couldn’t say anymore. This was likely the first time since we met that she returned to being a normal girl and cried. She was crying into my chest. Her hands wrapped around my back and tightly clung to me. She simply sobbed in silence. As her friend, I wanted to let her cry to her heart’s content. The situation didn’t seem to want to let that happen, though.

“How boorish,” I muttered.

“Rose...?”

Mana raised her head. Her expression was innocent, her reddened eyes looking right at me.

“Sorry, Mana. Could you lean against me and hang on so that you don’t fall off? I only have one hand right now.”

Mana nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck. I grabbed the spare axe with my now free right hand. My eyes were fixed on a viscous liquid sliding down the steep cliff.

“This time it’s a slime...? No, there’s even more?”

My focus shifted away from the cliff, where I spotted multiple shadows running down the hillsides adjacent to us. There were my fellow magical puppets. Gray wolves, firefangs, joined the fray. There were squirming trees, treants, and giant beetles armed with lances, stab beetles. They were all running down the mountain at their own speed. There were also monsters we had never seen before, like large insects armed with two scythes, humanlike shadows composed only of an upper body, and dogs with heads as large as their bodies. The majority were bull wrigglers, but there were dozens of other monsters. Put together, there were hundreds of them. It was clearly abnormal.

“Why are so many different species of monsters working together...?” Mana asked, also realizing the situation we found ourselves in. She gulped as she clung to my neck.

Just as she said, it was pretty much unprecedented for multiple species of monsters to appear at once. It wasn’t guaranteed that monsters would clash when they encountered each other, but fundamentally, monsters of different species didn’t flock together.

“Not only that, there are monsters you don’t see in this area,” I commented.

Including the rough rabbit who attacked us, there were multiple monsters here who didn’t actually inhabit the region. The situation was getting even more bizarre. I wanted to figure out what was happening as much as I could, but...

I immediately brought my thoughts to an end and left it for later.

“Mana. I also find this strange. But first, we must overcome the danger before us.”

“Yeah... You’re right.”

The slime oozing down the cliff was slowly and surely closing in on us. Normally, I wouldn’t think much of such an enemy, but right now I was halfway up a precipitous cliff. I couldn’t move properly. Any major movement could shake Mana off.

“This is quite serious. What do you plan on doing, Rose?”

“It’s basically sink or swim, but I’m thinking of throwing my axe.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say, but I think you’re better off not doing that. Considering the angle, that slime will end up falling on us if you do.”

“So...shall we try slowly descending while buying time?”

Fortunately, the angle of the cliff wasn’t so steep. I could manage if I was careful. The problem was whether or not the slime would catch up to us...

“It’s better to take action than waste time thinking it over,” I said. “If it becomes necessary, then I can intercept it. If we go down far enough, we might be able to leap off to the bottom.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s a bit irritating just having one hand for this.”

It was a hindrance in both descending the cliff and intercepting the slime. But I couldn’t do anything about my current condition. We would need to come up with some sort of countermeasure if we somehow managed to overcome this.

“Considering the situation, I should’ve prepared some form of long-range attack. I suppose I should also carry around some spare parts for my arms and legs at all times. But if I do so, there’ll be too much luggage to—”

“Rose.”

As I began descending the cliff as quickly as possible while keeping my attention on the slime, Mana called my name.

“What is it, Mana?”

“Please protect me, okay?”

“...!”

It was clear her words referred to more than just this situation. It was a sign of change in this girl who had accepted she would disappear one day.

I gave one big nod. “Of course. With all certainty.”

I would prove that I could definitely protect this small, dainty, and delicate friend of mine. No matter what. I firmly swore to myself that I would, when suddenly, a white shadow appeared.

It seems I won’t have to do anything, this time at least.

“Please be careful, Mana. She’s coming.”

“Huh? Wah? Eek?!”

I stopped our descent and once more held onto Mana. In the next instant, a white bullet slammed into the cliff. The slime, which was in the center of the impact zone, burst apart into smithereens. A great tremor ran down the cliff as I hung on tightly with Mana in my arms. Small pebbles rained down on us incessantly, accompanied by the drizzling sticky fluid from the ruptured slime.

“Are you alright, Rose?”

The cloud of dust cleared, revealing an enormous white spider. The way she gripped the cliff’s side with her eight legs gave her a great advantage on this terrain. Even without that, there weren’t many out there who could hope to match her.

Upon spotting me, Gerbera’s well-shaped eyebrows knitted together.

“It seems you’ve had a rough time of it. That was quite the dangerous situation you were in.”

“Almost falling from the shockwave just now was the most dangerous part, just so you know.”

“That wouldn’t have been a problem. I was already prepared to catch you.”

This was likely true, considering her specialty in manipulating threads. Her more unfortunate aspects were quite prominent in our everyday lives, but when it came to combat, there was nobody more reliable than her in the world.

“You have my thanks, Gerbera. You really saved us.”

“It was nothing. I shall pull you to the top now.”

Gerbera climbed down to us and firmly affixed us to her threads. I kept hold of Mana and walked up the cliff as Gerbera pulled us up.

“In any case, this is a rather peculiar situation. This riffraff even surged all the way over to where I was.”

It seemed Gerbera had also encountered this large army of monsters. It was peculiar. Even she, who had lived far longer than I, had no idea what was going.

“Are you alright, Gerbera?”

“There’s no need for you to ask. I crushed all who came at me. I had no choice but to neglect those I couldn’t reach, though. They seem practically endless... Besides, you two had me worried. When I found you hanging halfway down the cliff, I thought my heart would...”

Gerbera suddenly stopped talking just as we reached the top.

“Gerbera? Is something wrong?”

I pulled my body up onto the cliff together with Mana and looked up at Gerbera’s beautiful face. Her red eyes were wide with surprise. Whatever she was looking at left her speechless. I turned to look in the same direction...and was left equally silent.

“The fortress...”

Mana’s dumbfounded voice resounded in the air. The enormous fortress found itself in the center of hundreds of monsters swarming around it like insects.