Monster no Goshujin-sama - Volume 3 - Chapter SS

Extra Story: The Loving Dead ~Katou Mana’s POV~

Up and down. Up and down. I shook about. The oscillation brought me assurance, like a baby rocking in its mother’s arms. It made me feel somewhat ticklish, and a small smile spread on my face.

“Are you alright, Katou?” Rose asked as she turned to look at me.

“Yes.”

Rose was carrying me as we proceeded through the forest. The only ones with me were Gerbera and Rose. Gerbera was carrying pretty much all of our luggage. Rose’s only luggage was me.

How pathetic. I shouldn’t have been here, but right before contacting the group made up of locals and students together with Majima-senpai and Lily, I thoughtlessly collapsed. It happened only moments ago. I couldn’t do anything about the physical backlash. My condition was at its worst. I likely wouldn’t be able to walk for the rest of the day. Honestly speaking, it was still a little painful.

Having said that, after resting for several hours under Rose’s attentive gaze, I had somehow managed to recover from my shameful state. While I was resting, Gerbera had gone to confirm where Majima-senpai went.

The soldier wearing a white helmet who had detected us was a bit of a problem, but fortunately, Gerbera was connected to Majima-senpai by their mental path. She could tell where the other party was, so she was able to make chase while remaining out of visible range.

According to her, there was an enormous stone structure in the middle of this dense forest. The people we encountered had guided Majima-senpai and Lily there. Gerbera didn’t really get it, but it was probably a fortress constructed by humans. Seeing that it was inside this dangerous forest, its defenses were probably flawless.

If something were to happen to Majima-senpai, Rose and Gerbera would have to charge in. But those girls didn’t know the purpose of a fortress, so it was my role to explain what it was and warn them of the dangers. Although, that would only happen after we managed to settle down somewhere.

As I thought of such things, I rode on Rose’s back as we proceeded steadily through the forest. This wasn’t the first time she’d given me a piggyback ride like this. Walking in a forest devoid of any human tampering was far more painful than I could possibly imagine. I was nothing more than a girl brought up in Japan, where pretty much all the roads were paved asphalt. Rose often helped me like this so that my weak body didn’t slow down their progress.

Fortunately, because Gerbera was in the lead, I didn’t have to worry about holding Rose back. No matter what monster attacked us, Gerbera could handle them on her own.

“Be careful, Rose. The ground over there has become rather brittle.”

“Understood.”

Rose kept walking even as Gerbera warned of the dangers every now and then. Her puppet feet trod through the soft earth. The way she dragged along was similar to a plow reclaiming ground. The scent of greenery saturated my nose, but I could sense the vitality of the soil. It was the smell of life, of the fallen leaves and broken branches returning to the earth.

This was a forest filled with death because of the rampant monsters, yet it was also choking with life. It made me feel like the trivial life of a single human would only get crushed beneath it all. It made me wonder why I was even alive. It was a mysterious sensation.

It didn’t really need to be said that this was due to a chance meeting. Lily had saved Majima-senpai, and in turn he saved me. Ever since then, he always protected me. There were even a few occasions where I helped him. I could tell he was fretting over being unable to repay me for such.

I don’t need anything like that, so I thought. My very existence here continued because of him. Not just my life, but even my heart. That was why it was perfectly natural to devote everything I had to him. Doing so was more than enough. I didn’t need recompense. I never desired such a thing in the first place.

And precisely because I was like that, I didn’t fear anything. There was only one thing I feared losing within me: this one precious emotion in my heart. I knew I was broken. At this rate, I would certainly die somewhere with ease. That happened when one’s sense of fear didn’t work properly. I would simply become a corpse, clinging to this one and only emotion I had acquired in that hut, without gaining anything else.

But that’s fine, so I thought. In truth, I wouldn’t have been able to stand before the white arachne’s colossal bloodlust if this wasn’t the case. My peculiarity ended up becoming useful to him.

I was already something like a corpse, anyway. A walking corpse. The living dead. When the time came, something which began moving by accident would simply stop once more. That was all I thought of myself...

“Katou,” Rose called to me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Please tell me if this is too hard on you.”

Oops. I ended up worrying her for no reason because I didn’t reply fast enough.

“Oh. No. I’m okay.”

I shook my head at the featureless face right in front of me. I was grateful she worried about me, but on the other hand, I also felt guilty. Rose treated me far more dearly than I did myself. I was her very first friend, after all.

If I were to die one day, Rose would undoubtedly grieve. That sent a squeezing sensation through my chest, despite my supposedly unfeeling and empty heart. Why did I ask Rose to be my friend? I couldn’t understand what I was thinking back then.

I could’ve helped Rose without becoming her friend. And yet I did, despite knowing full well it would cause her sorrow in the not so distant future. Was my head malfunctioning that badly? That stood to reason. Her words had been so impulsive. I spoke before I even knew it. I had been careless. I had a weak body; all I was capable of was thinking. And yet I couldn’t think it over properly at the time. I just said what came to mind. Something was wrong with me back then. One could even call it a suicidal act.

A suicidal act... A suicidal act? That phrase didn’t really fit someone who was pretty much as good as dead. It brought my thoughts to a halt. There was no point thinking over something that had already passed.

I was already Rose’s friend now. I couldn’t take it back. I really liked Rose, and I really, really hated the idea of causing her sorrow because of my blunder, but I couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

So I thought.

I still didn’t know anything at the time.

I didn’t know how two negatives made a positive.

I didn’t know what a suicidal act really meant for someone who was already dead.

I didn’t know how wonderful a girl Rose was, far surpassing my expectations.

I knew nothing. And within that fog of resignation, I kept walking on, a corpse in love.