Monogatari Series - Volume 5 - Chapter 6.14

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Let me spend some time on Karen Araragi’s story.

A word of caution, however. The following is a recreation, based solely on a combination of what Hanekawa and Tsukihi told me, and may differ slightly from actual events.

In any case, it’s not as if the narrative perspective has suddenly shifted, so please relax.

While Hitagi Senjogahara still held me captive, Karen Araragi, dressed in her usual sports jersey, visited a certain karaoke place located near her school, Tsuganoki Second.

At this point she had already pinpointed the “culprit” behind the charms circulating among junior-high students.

Technically, Hanekawa had. Grateful for her help as Karen was, by now all the blood had rushed to her head, and that fact was far from her mind.

Nor was she thinking about Hanekawa’s advice “not to do anything until I get there.” It had gone in one ear and out the other.

Hanekawa admitted her mistake─it was careless of her not to foresee that Karen might go alone. As for me, I blamed Karen for making Hanekawa commit such a blunder. It was just plain wrong to betray Hanekawa’s trust like that.

Could Tsukihi have stopped Karen before anything happened? No, I doubted it.

All Tsukihi ever did was rile Karen up. The brain had no interest in reining in the brawn’s excesses.

“Welcome, young lady. My name is Kaiki. As in kaizuka, shell heap, and kareki, withered tree. What might yours be?”

“I’m Karen Araragi,” my sister introduced herself, loud and clear, to a man who was dressed in a black suit as if in mourning as he sat waiting in a private karaoke room. “Take the ‘hill’ radical and add ‘possible’ for the first character of Araragi. ‘Good good’ for ‘rara,’ and finally ‘tree’ as in wakaki, young sapling. ‘Fire’ and ‘compassion’ for Karen.”

“An excellent name. You should thank your parents.” The man’s ponderous speech was devoid of feeling.

Karen began to feel nervous.

She summoned her courage quickly, however, and closed the door. The two of them were now─alone in a cramped room.

Usually, that was a highly risky situation, but Karen didn’t think so. She even believed that she had the advantage on such a field.

Was she stupid? A rhetorical question.

“Well, which are you here for?” the man asked. “Do you want me to teach you a charm, or remove one? The former will cost you ten thousand yen. The latter, double that.”

“Neither. I came here to give you a wallop,” Karen said.

Judging by her words, she was feeling pretty confident. The truth, however, was that she wasn’t.

She sensed it. She hadn’t trained for nothing, wasn’t a martial artist for nothing.

It was impossible to miss─the ominousness that was Deishu Kaiki.

There was no telling what he might do to her.

Her body sensed it. But at this point, she still didn’t think she’d screwed up─and didn’t regret coming alone.

Because she’s stupid. Or if you ask me, fake.

She couldn’t recognize real danger.

“A wallop. A-ha. In other words, this is a trap. You sent a lying email to lure me here. I see, very clever─but I have a sneaking suspicion this maneuver was not of your own contriving. Someone as brash as you could not ferret me out.”

“Yeah…”

“So whose scheme─no, I suppose you wouldn’t tell me. But few are capable of such a feat. Only someone fairly unconventional could force this encounter. To arrive at me, and not the other way around? No kid in junior high has the caliber to pull it off.”

The caliber. Well, he had a point. Hanekawa, who’d arrived at him, was in high school, not middle school. But in terms of caliber, she was hardly just a kid in high school.

If only she’d been there. It’d have played out very differently, no doubt.

Not even Oshino liked to face Hanekawa one on one.

Gulp, Karen swallowed a host of words along with her saliva.

Then─

“You’ve been causing a lot of trouble. I don’t have to explain how, do I?” she accused.

“What trouble? I simply sell you children the goods you seek. You alone are accountable for what you do with them.”

“Accountable?” Karen curled her lip. She wasn’t so naive as to find that word choice palatable. “Look who’s talking. Get real. You’ve been wreaking havoc, turning friends against each other. What are you up to?”

“Up to, eh? A profound question.” Kaiki nodded quietly.

Karen wasn’t expecting that response. A petty scoundrel who slinked around spreading rumors of dire curses to bilk middle schoolers out of their money would immediately panic when confronted and fall on his knees blubbering for forgiveness─that had been her assumption.

That was her conception of evil, after all.

That evil could be strong, and resilient…was unthinkable.

“Unfortunately,” Kaiki lamented, “I only have a shallow answer to your profound question. It’s for money, of course.”

“M-Money?”

“Yes. My objective is to obtain notes issued by the Bank of Japan, nothing more─money is everything in this world. You seem to have come here out of some mistaken sense of justice─a pity, really. You could have easily charged your client a hundred thousand yen,” Kaiki appraised like it was the most natural thing to do. “The lesson you should take home from this is that it never pays to work for free.”

“Wh-Who said anything about a client?” Karen put on a show of bravery to hold on to her courage. “I’m not doing this because anybody asked.”

“I see. Then you should have waited until somebody did.”

“Even then, I wouldn’t take their money.”

“Ah, youth. I can’t say that I’m envious, however,” Kaiki said.

He seemed more ominous with every passing minute. It was as if their confined quarters were accelerating the process. The air grew thicker and thicker with it.

“What’s wrong? You’re trembling, Araragi.”

“I’m not trembling! If I look like I am, then I’m rumbling.”

“How delightful to meet a girl with such cataclysmic sensibilities.” Ah yes, to be young, Kaiki added. He glanced at Karen appraisingly. “Regardless, I suggest that, next time, you think before you act. Not doing so halves your charms. The lesson to take home from this case, Araragi, is to think before you feel. Now, I’ve answered your question. I have explained myself, I believe. Your turn─what is your objective?”

“I already told you. I’m here to wallop you.”

“Is that all?”

“And to feed you my boot.”

“Violence?”

“Force. And I’m going to put an end to what you’re doing. You’ve got some nerve plying your filthy trade among middle schoolers. You call yourself an adult?”

“Indeed. And I can’t help it if my trade seems filthy. After all…” said Kaiki, almost proudly, “I am a swindler.”

“……”

Appalled as she was, Karen denounced him again.

“Against middle school kids? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

“Not particularly. Children are simply easier targets to deceive. But Araragi, neither punches nor kicks will be enough to stop me. It would be more expedient to come back with cash. My target in this endeavor is three million yen. It has taken me over two months to lay the foundation for this project. I seek at least that amount in profits for my troubles. However─if you insist, I will not be unreasonable. Pay me half of that sum, and I will gladly depart.”

“You punk…”

“That’s a rather cheap word.”

Kaiki smiled a little.

What did he find so funny?

Was it a sneer? A grimace?

Karen wondered aloud. “You call yourself human?”

“My apologies, but that is precisely what I am. Just a human─willing to dedicate his life to a precious cause. You fill your heart through good deeds, while I fill my wallet through bad. Are we so different?”

“Wh-What?”

“Exactly, it’s not different at all. Perhaps what you’re doing makes lives better for some─but I stimulate our capitalist economy by squandering the money I earn, which has the same effect. The lesson for you to take home from this: just as there is no issue that is immune to justice, there is no issue that is immune to money.”

“Nrk…”

“My ‘victims’ would certainly agree with that assessment. They all paid me. Which is to say, they recognized the monetary value of our transaction. And this is no less true of you, Araragi. Or did you not pay money for that jersey you are wearing?”

“L-Leave my jersey out of this!”

Karen was incensed.

She was certainly silly to feel that way on behalf of her jersey.

But that was when she decided that the time for talk was over. When it came to verbal exchanges, without her sister, Karen was at a disadvantage. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d defeated an older opponent through logic.

“Make your decision,” she said. “Do you want me to punch you, or─”

“I don’t want to be punched. Nor kicked. Therefore…”

Kaiki moved─unexpectedly.

For some reason, despite her martial arts training, Karen failed to react. It wasn’t as if she’d let her guard down or wasn’t prepared to strike─

“I present you with this bee,” the man announced.

He didn’t rush her. Rather, it seemed as if he were trying to slip his body past Karen, who was still standing by the door to block his way.

He wasn’t interested in a fight, but rather, flight.

He’d been summoned and trapped. Ready to do business but called out instead, and cornered, he was turning tail.

That was all. Put into words, his move couldn’t be shabbier. However…

Tup.

As he slipped past Karen, he extended the index finger of his left hand─

He stung with his forefinger.

A gentle poke─to her forehead.

“…? …nkk? …nkk?!”

Karen gasped once, twice, three times in surprise.

The first gasp was when his finger stabbed her forehead.

He could have punched her in the face. If Kaiki had made a fist and swung with all his strength instead of tapping lightly, even Karen, with all of her training, would not have fared well for the blow.

The second gasp was in bewilderment. Why hadn’t he punched her?

And the third gasp.

“…………nkk!!”

It was from a sudden wave of nausea that brought her to her knees.

Fatigue. Malaise. And most of all…

Her body was on fire.

The heat. It was burning her. Like she’d hurled herself into a furnace and real flames.

“Gah…ah, ahh?”

Her throat felt so scorched that she couldn’t piece together any words.

Gazing down at her, Kaiki said, “I see the effect was immediate. You must be very susceptible to belief. The lesson for you to take home from this is to assume that everyone you meet is a swindler. Do not trust so easily. Did you think that I would beg for forgiveness? If so, you are a fool. If you wish me to mend my ways, then bring money. My starting price is now ten million yen.”

Karen could hear him. She was fully conscious. But her body─wouldn’t listen. Not her arms, legs, or head, nor her eyes, ears, or mouth were functional.

“Wh-What did you…do?”

What had been done to her?

What…done?

What…done… What…done?

What─stung?

“What did you─do to me?”

“Something very bad. And not for free. I expect to be paid.”

Kaiki reached into Karen’s jersey pocket and took out her wallet as she crouched helplessly. She could do nothing but watch as he began rifling through it without permission.

No, not even watch. Her vision was hazy.

“Four thousand yen… That will have to do. Consider my lecture a gratuity. I’ll leave the spare change so that you have enough to get home… Oh? You have a bus pass. Then you don’t need your change.”

Karen heard jingling. Kaiki was scooping out the coins.

“That’s an additional 627 yen… Hmph, not much. This point card doesn’t have your name on it. I’ll take it, too.”

Kaiki set Karen’s wallet, now practically empty, on the table.

“The poison will settle soon, and you should be able to move again. I suggest you use your cell phone to call for help─in the meantime, I’ll beat a hasty retreat. Of course, I plan to continue my entrepreneurial efforts. In the future, however, perhaps I should avoid meeting customers directly. Most edifying. Farewell.”

With that, he opened the door and stepped outside─without a second glance at Karen, who now lay crumpled on the floor.

Karen─Karen Araragi.

Still her stubborn self, it was some time before she called for help.