Monogatari Series - Volume 5 - Chapter 6.10

010

When I awoke, I was being held captive.

In the ruins of the cram school, on the fourth floor. With my hands cuffed behind my back.

After checking with Senjogahara, I learned that I hadn’t been unconscious for very long─maybe a few hours at most. That meant I came to late at night on July the twenty-ninth─or rather the very early hours of the thirtieth.

Hmm.

My memories may have been interrupted, but I could piece together the rest─that must have been when Senjogahara clobbered me.

Twenty wallops. Twenty, for God’s sake.

I bet the first blow had already knocked me out.

Since Senjogahara didn’t possess any unarmed combat skills, it seemed likely that she’d used some sort of blunt instrument. All I could say was that she’d struck without a second thought─the word “hesitation” probably didn’t exist in her dictionary.

Well, this was a woman who’d had to go through hell in order to protect herself, and she must have had more trouble dragging me here than knocking me out─or so I thought as if it were someone else’s business.

“Well, at least I remembered how I got kidnapped.” Senjogahara was standing in front of me like nothing was amiss, so I asked her, “That still doesn’t answer the question: why a kidnapping?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Who do you think you’re fooling?!”

No one at all! What kind of nonsense was that?

My shouts, however, fell on deaf ears. Senjogahara simply began unwrapping the package of diapers. I felt my blood curdle.

Given what I did remember, though, I could fill in the blanks.

“That guy, Kaiki…” I said, watching closely for any sign of a change in Senjogahara’s perpetually blank expression. “You know him, don’t you?”

“By the way, Araragi, would you like some tea? Didn’t you like that black tea with the name that sounds like a festival in Kansai?”

“If you’re trying to distract me, at least try harder! You don’t even have a cup, or a teapot, or hot water, or any tea!”

And it’s Darjeeling! The festival is Danjiri, dammit!

And set up one punch line at a time, instead of three!

“I thought you’d fall for it,” she argued, “since it’s you.”

“Just how stupid do you think I am?”

“Stupid enough to think ‘amenity’ is some brand of tea.”

“You know, even ridicule has its limits!”

“This one, actually, isn’t about stupidity, but being a chump,” Senjogahara said. Her expression didn’t change. “I’d appreciate your not asking why.”

“If that’s what’s best then I won’t. But I don’t think it is. After all, you felt you had to go this far.” To protect me─it was to protect me that Senjogahara had abducted me. “If you did, it’s got to be a big deal.”

“Are you sure? Even without a reason, as long as I had an excuse, kidnapping my boyfriend seems like the sort of thing I would do…”

“……”

Right. I’d realized that even as I spoke. But if I agreed now, we’d never get anywhere.

“Deishu Kaiki,” Senjogahara said, looking away. “That’s the man’s name. Deishu as in ‘mud boat.’ Kaiki isn’t a common name, and since you said he seemed ominous, I knew it had to be him─if any man fits that description more perfectly, I don’t know him.”

“……”

“Yes, just like you know nothing.”

Hey. Did she have to derail the conversation to badmouth me? She really couldn’t read a room. What a scary lady.

“I can’t believe he’s back in town,” Senjogahara continued. “How odd and incomprehensible─I don’t believe I even considered the possibility.”

“But who is he? It’s unusual for you to be so averse to someone.”

“Really? Is there anyone on this planet that I’m not averse to?”

“If you’re just going to keep on misrendering my meaning, this conversation won’t get anywhere.”

“Misrender unto me the things that are Caesar’s.”

“That’s just theft!”

“Indeed. And Kaiki is─a swindler.”

Upon reflection─

Senjogahara’s acid tongue wasn’t merely unchanged, but even more acidic than usual. What was going on? Right…she was having trouble broaching the subject head-on. She had to be trying to discuss something that she couldn’t abide.

“Araragi, remember how you and Mister Oshino solved that issue I was dealing with?”

“Yeah.”

Actually, “solve” wasn’t exactly what we did, but if she was using the word, then fine. I’d only correct her on a different point: it wasn’t really Oshino or I who’d done the solving but Senjogahara, herself.

“I told you, didn’t I? Before you introduced me to Mister Oshino─I met five frauds.”

─So far, five people have spouted similar lines to me.

─All of them were frauds.

─Are you one as well, Mister Oshino?

When she’d met Oshino for the first time, she’d said that to his face.

Five frauds.

“Kaiki was one of them─the first one.”

“……”

Now I understood. No wonder Kaiki reminded me of Oshino and Guillotine Cutter.

What Senjogahara had dealt with─was a crab.

Her issue had been an aberration.

Mèmè Oshino and Guillotine Cutter held different positions and stances, and also, Oshino handled aberrations of all stripes while Guillotine Cutter was an authority on vampires only─but they were both experts in the field.

Apparently, Kaiki─Deishu Kaiki─was, too. Whether he was the real deal or a fake.

“He’s a fake,” the caustic Senjogahara declared. “He’s a first-class fraud, though. That man brought tragedy to my entire family. He had his way with us, swindling us out of our money and vanishing without accomplishing a thing.”

I recalled the man, ominous in his suit, as if dressed for mourning. Kaiki─Deishu Kaiki.

“Since he was the first─I got my hopes up,” Senjogahara shared. “Having them dashed crushed my soul, but that’s trivial.”

“What’s the…non-trivial part?”

“I,” she answered me without hesitation, “don’t want you to have anything to do with him, that’s all.”

“……”

“I refuse to be robbed, to let go of something dear to me again. That’s why…” She paused solemnly. “That’s why I’m going to protect you, Araragi.”

She spoke as if she were making a promise to herself. I was speechless. It wasn’t that she convinced me, nor did I even understand what she was saying. I felt like her argument had skipped a few steps, or perhaps what was missing was information.

Regardless─Senjogahara had let go of something precious long ago, and that experience weighed on her. Heavily.

It weighed on her, and pained her.

She, who knew nothing of hesitation and thus of regret, probably saw it as the one blot on her history. And that’s why she was acting, in all earnestness, for my sake. That much seemed certain.

“Is this guy Kaiki…such a problem?” I asked her. “Why don’t you want me near him?”

“He is. He’s too pungent for you, Justice Man.”

“Justice Man…”

What was that supposed to mean? Like I was with the Fire Sisters.

“At the very least,” Senjogahara said, “until I know what Kaiki is up to─why he’s back in town─be a good boy and stay here. In fact, even if he’s visiting for no reason, until he’s gone, I want you to stay put.”

“What if Kaiki moved to our town?”

“In that case…” Apparently the possibility hadn’t occurred to her, and she stopped to consider before stating, “You’ll just have to live here forever.”

Talk about going overboard.

“Miss ’Gahara…”

“Or,” she continued, her voice extremely level, “I kill him.”

“No…” Throwing words like that around didn’t do.

“You’re right… How about I just ‘punch his ticket’ then?”

“His ticket?!” A cutesy phrase didn’t make it any better! It still didn’t do! “Anyway, what sort of guy is this Kaiki─”

The talk was turning to violence, so I tried, tied up as I was, to obtain a little more information, when─

That was when my phone’s ringtone went off, inside my jeans pocket. It was the incoming text ring.

“Can I see who it is?”

Senjogahara paused for a moment, and then, without answering, reached toward my pants and began fumbling around in my pocket.

“Wh-Whoa! That’s a little too much fumbling! What do you think you’re reaching for there?!”

“It’s down deep so I’m having trouble getting it out.”

“My pockets aren’t that deep!”

“Right, they’re as shallow as your life.”

“Can’t you even get my phone for me without insulting me?!”

Having insulted me, though, she did pull it out.

She held its screen up to my face.

Obviously, I couldn’t read the message without working the buttons─but the sender and subject line were already displayed, and that was all I needed to see.

“From: Littler Sister / Subject: Help!”

Clink.

That very moment, the handcuffs─the chain on the handcuffs─just snapped loose.

Then, without further ado─I stood up.

“Araragi…”

Even Senjogahara looked surprised; even then, her mental composure was impeccable, and she didn’t panic one bit, merely fixing a sharp gaze on me as I stood there.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked me.

“Something’s just come up. I can’t play around anymore. I’m going home.”

“And you think I’m letting you?”

“I’m going. It’s my home.”

And my family.

“I’ll have you know─” Senjogahara said, “I’m not such a coward that I’d back down just because I’m facing a vampire, and I’m not kind enough to back down just because you’re my boyfriend.”

“I do know. That’s why I love you.”

“Heh,” chuckled Senjogahara─like she was actually having fun. Like she couldn’t be happier that she had someone on whom to sic her emotions. “If you want to pass, you’ll have to defeat me first─do you think you can?”

“I can and I will. That line only works on me if the other person is doing the upside-down crab. You said you want to protect me. I appreciate it, but I have things that I want to protect, too.”

You aren’t the only one─who’s lost something precious.

“You think a little speech can persuade me?” defied Senjogahara.

“Why should I have to?”

“Really? Don’t start confusing me for a reasonable woman.”

“Then what about me did you fall for?” I said, returning her stare. “Would you be proud about loving a guy who’d sit on his ass now?”

“Oops… Super-cool…” murmured Senjogahara, barely audibly.

Hey, don’t get back to normal all of a sudden. You’re gonna make me blush.

She added, “If I were a man, I’d find you irresistible…”

“How about as a woman?!”

“Who says I don’t?”

“Ah, well…”

We both fell into an uncomfortable silence amidst all the tension, but this time my phone, which Senjogahara was still gripping in her hand, rang to announce not a text but a call.

“Hello? We’re busy,” answered Senjogahara, annoyed by the sound perhaps, and without asking for my permission first. Her voice was impassive, and she never removed her eyes from me.

I expected her to hang up immediately─but instead, she froze. Well, not that her face could freeze any further. But somehow she appeared shaken.

Senjogahara, who didn’t panic one bit when I stood up despite my restraints, felt shaken?

“N-No.” Her voice was feeble, too.

I wasn’t close enough to overhear, but had the other person told her something? And who was it, anyway? I’d assumed it was Tsukihi─

“I…didn’t mean to. That’s a misunderstanding. I never said that. Yes, uh huh─true. You’re right. Wait, you don’t need to. That wasn’t our agreement. No, please, give me some time. Understood. I’ll do exactly as you say… Is that fine?”

She hung up.

Closing her eyes, as though in resignation, she tossed the phone at me─like she was taking something out on me. Confused, I peered into her face, but as if my very gaze were irritating, she said, “You can go home.”

I had no idea what had happened. I really didn’t have a clue, but one thing was clear. She’d stepped out of the way and allowed me access to the door.

“I can? Are you sure?”

“You can… A-And, Araragi, um, how do I, uh…”

Bitterly, or grudgingly, like what she was about to say totally went against her will, Senjogahara, who usually spoke in such a flat and inflectionless tone, stammered out the words.

“I-I’m…I’m sor…ry!”

Whoever had called must have insisted that she apologize to me─a demand so unpalatable that fulfilling it made Senjogahara bite her bottom lip and shake with humiliation.

………

Hey, if it’s that harrowing, don’t bother on my account…

“Um…Miss ’Gahara? If you don’t mind, who was that on the phone?”

Her answer was concise.

“Hanekawa.”