Monogatari Series - Volume 30 - Chapter 1.08

008

The next day would greet us with clear, blue skies—except in my hometown. As an aside, the weather in Washington, D.C., where I currently have a foothold, also seemed to be quite pleasant.

What a convenient age we live in, being able to confirm the conditions of various localities through weather cameras online. Presently, at least, there was no rain in Tochigi Prefecture; there were no approaching typhoons, no signs of tornadoes.

It seemed that the ominous prediction—or should I say, the gracious advice—of the Eleventh Witch Oikura, was not an immediate cause for concern.

However, a low probability of rain is not necessarily the bare minimum condition for activities such as glamping or car camping. After all, we weren’t going to be roughing it outside with no shelter, so we wouldn’t need to cancel our honeymoon trip unless there was torrential rain, relentless snowfall (in summer), or anything equally pressing—that is, if stargazing wasn’t the main event.

When stargazing is concerned, the problem isn’t just rain; even a hint of cloudiness would be enough to render our plans null and void.

It had been quite some time since I had last gone stargazing. In fact, the only time I could recall doing so was the starry date with Senjougahara Hitagi. And even that had been a sort of surprise attack. I had completely forgotten that, when it comes to the conditions of the sky, one can only truly leave it up to fate. While we can try to predict whether it will rain or not by resorting to long-term weather forecasts, the matter of whether the sky will be clouded over is still, quite literally, up in the air. 

“Don’t worry, I knew all that beforehand—that’s what makes it an authentic experience of stargazing, including the looming uncertainty. To enjoy such thrilling moments, knowing that it could all turn out to be a wild centipede chase, is what makes a visit to the land of the giant centipede even more compelling.“

“That’s not what the giant centipede is about.”

“Even if it happens to be cloudy or rainy, there’s nothing to worry about, really. It’s not like we’re in New Zealand; we can always make a return trip within our country whenever we please.”

That’s how Hitagi comforted me as I fumbled around in a flustered panic.

It was something an astronomy enthusiast would already know, after all.

“Family is about repeating the cycle over and over again, getting another chance to make things right no matter what. That is what makes a family.”

Yeah, that was a good point.

Although I was happy to inadvertently learn that little bit about Hitagi’s notion of family—and it became even more poignant when I thought of what her family had overcome—at the same time, I couldn’t help but be painfully aware of my own shortcomings. No matter how well I’d thought to prepare for this trip, meticulously assembling the itinerary and drafting the roadmap, the harsh reality was that I still couldn’t shake my lackadaisical, go-with-the-flow personality even at the age of twenty-four.

It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all, right?

If, on our honeymoon, we went stargazing only to be met with impenetrable cloudy skies or rain so heavy that we couldn’t even open our eyes, at least we could laugh about it later. Of course, it’s always best if the sun is shining.

The uncertain future looms ahead.

“But what I’m most happy about is finally being able to meet Shinobu, after all this time. My dream has come true. I’ve missed so many opportunities to meet her, ever since that close call at the abandoned cram school. I was starting to doubt if she was even real, or just a girl from your imagination.”

Wouldn’t that be great.

It was a big deal to be suspected of such a thing, but at any rate, Shinobu, a very non-imaginary girl, was shy, so the process of persuasion—or rather, convincing her—proved to be quite difficult. 

Even with my blood-related family like Karen and Tsukihi, she had managed to keep her secrets, so she argued that it wouldn’t be a problem to keep the same secret from Hitagi (quite a sound argument). It was a pretty tough task to break down her reasoning. The former Fire Sisters had not known about aberrations, let alone the existence of vampires, but for Hitagi, aberrations were already an open secret; there was no reason to keep hiding them. Eventually, I managed to convince her through reasoned arguments. 

Even so, if it had been old Shinobu, she would have probably withdrawn into the shadows like the elusive Sun Goddess herself. Nonetheless, she not only chose to reveal herself in this candid manner but even declared that she would accompany us on our honeymoon. Maybe she, too, was changing in some ways. 

Admittedly, I failed to persuade Oikura to join us on this trip (truth be told, I genuinely wished she would have come even though I knew she wouldn’t). But, regardless, our quartet’s journey to Tochigi has taken shape, with the Nasu Highlands as our destination. It’s not exactly ideal, but we can only hope that at least in the open field of Senjougahara, it will be sunny.

When it comes to family outings, the time it takes to get everyone out the door can feel excruciatingly long. So long, in fact, that the hapless sort who forgets to check the weekly weather forecast might be tempted to just hurry up and leave, regardless of how well-prepared they are. But as much as I didn’t want to keep everybody waiting, there was still one more thing I had to take care of while we were in town.

Before heading to the rendezvous at Kanbaru’s house, I needed to pay a visit to the very place where Hitagi and I had held our wedding just a few days prior—North Shirahebi Shrine.

There hadn’t been any remarks from Oikura about it, but it suddenly hit me while I was chatting on the phone with my childhood friend. Having held our wedding at that fateful shrine and pledging our eternal love, would it really be permissible for us to visit a shrine of marriage in another prefecture, even if it was a World Heritage site? It was a question that crossed my mind, right at the brink, due to my skeptical nature. 

This was something Hanekawa had taught me when I had been studying for exams: praying too much for success at multiple shrines and temples might cause the gods to quarrel amongst themselves, so it’s better to focus on just one. Now that I think about it, that advice might have been a subtle criticism of my usual carefree attitude rather than being a mere tip about praying for success. Well, besides, an attitude of indiscriminately relying on divine intervention might not be all that praiseworthy and it’s maybe better not to indulge in it.

That said, I couldn’t help but feel that it would be a little excessive to go out of my way to respectfully avoid places like Nikko Toshogu Shrine and Futarasan Shrine, which we had already incorporated into our roadmap. Hence, I decided to settle the matter by informing the somewhat temperamental god of North Shirahebi Shrine about our plans before leaving.

When I had visited the shrine one early morning during high school, I had experienced a bizarre encounter with a huge sword supposedly slicing me into pieces. It felt like an appropriate time to overcome that trauma.

“What a surprise! If it isn’t the newlywed Sakuragi Koyomi-san.”

“Although I’m honored, don’t compare me to the recently made-into-a-film red-haired basketball genius. My name is Araragi.”

“Sorry, I stuttered.”

“No, you did it on purpose.”

“I stubbed.”

“It wasn’t on purpose?!”

“I slam-dunked.”

“Are you talking about the manga?”

“I read it back in the day without paying too much attention, but having Sakuragi, Akagi, and Miyagi all on the same team, don’t you think their surnames are quite the curious coincidence?”

“Don’t criticize an epic manga like that.”

Speaking of Akagi, the protagonist does have red hair… that, in a way, might actually make it more realistic.

“Real is also a basketball manga, isn’t it?” remarked Hachikuji Mayoi, the shrine’s resident deity, displaying her keen insight.

Although I’d like to introduce her as the same Hachikuji as ever, she appeared in her adult form in the shrine maiden outfit, just like when I saw her at my wedding. To me now, she appears to be of a similar age, but why? Isn’t she supposed to be a lost eleven-year-old fifth-grader god?

“Didn’t we explain it at the wedding? From the moment I first met you, Araragi-san, time has continued to flow without interruption, public opinion kept being updated, and it was concluded that it’s not desirable from a compliance standpoint to have a grown man and a school girl with a backpack in the same frame. So, this is how my character design was changed.“

“Is compliance stronger than even divine power?”

“Child labor isn’t a good thing either, so we changed how I look, even if just visually. My essence is still that of a fifth-grader.”

While that could be a difficult setting in itself, I suppose it’s true for everyone. We may have matured in appearance, but inside we remain fifth graders.

Since turning twenty-four, my character had not changed much from when I was a high school senior. I couldn’t plan a trip properly and I genuinely enjoyed the Slam Dunk movie.

“Yes, it was just a bit confusing with Sakuragi and Akagi.”

“That does feel like an adult perspective, but when it comes to last names, there’s quite a bit to think about in recent times. It’s the perfect topic. Would you listen, Hachikuji?”

Since we had a meeting time and couldn’t spend too long in conversation, I got straight to the point. This, too, might be the mark of being an adult. When I was a high schooler and Hachikuji a fifth grader, we would have spend three hours just talking about Slam Dunk. We would get carried away with Rukawa’s story.

And now, as I transitioned into describing the ever-flowing theme of honeymoon, I couldn’t help but feel a certain melancholy. The days of being able to control time, back when it seemed impossibly long, had slipped through my fingers.

“I see. So, you’re going to Mount Akagi.”

“Listen. To me. Properly.”

“Mount Nantai, then? I can’t really discourage you from going there, I guess.” 

She may have had a complicated sentiment as a god, as Hachikuji had been living in such an unknown mountain. But she was a novice deity, and she takes pride in having protected the town from an infectious disease, even leading the virus astray. She’s done some pretty scary things, when you think about it. 

“Personally, I think if you’re going to introduce Shinobu-san to Senjougahara-san—pardon, it was the missus.”

“The missus? Are you also taking the stance of Lieutenant Columbo?”

“If you’re going to introduce Shinobu-san to Mrs. Araragi, I’d really like you to introduce me as well, and soon.”

“But didn’t you more or less meet the other day at the wedding?”

“She can’t see me at all. That means she’s completely devoid of doubt. It seems she’s gone through a lot, but maybe, she’s never lost sight of her home.”

“Her home.”

“Or her family.”

That made me wonder if I had always been just floating aimlessly—from the day I first met Hachikuji Mayoi, the day I had that fight with my sisters and up until today when I was leaving for my honeymoon.

“If you were to remove your doubts, there would be nothing left of you, Araragi-san.” 

“Spoken by you, it sounds like it’s over for me, like a divine prophecy. Well, honestly, it would be a sad story if my doubts were gone and I couldn’t see you anymore. From morning until night, I want to gaze upon you only.”

“Even the adult version of me?”

“I wouldn’t be deceived by appearances, you see.”

“That means you see a fifth-grader in the adult me as well.”

Though the image of a high school senior and a fifth-grade girl messing around together may indeed not be modern, the reason for such a bond could be the length of our relationship, and how we’ve grown to have such conversations—sitting side by side at the shrine.

I wouldn’t want to lose this. This sense of who I am.

“It may be for the best that doubts, like feeling lost, stay hidden. But it seems that you continue to be lost, both at home and abroad, so this ill-fated bond may persist for a while longer. I said it myself but I must admit, ‘ill-fated bond’ is quite the phrase.”

“Fateful alone would already be exceptional, but this is a persistent illness, It almost seems like I’m about to become unfaithful.“15

“There’s danger in using the word ‘unfaithful’ as a newlywed. In your case though, you’ve been unified with Shinobu-san for a long time, and so, regardless of your doubts, you might be able to see me. Being a member of the Hearsay Department makes you almost an expert, I’d presume.”

“Mhm. I hope that’s the case. It’s undeniably true that I’m feeling lost at the moment. You could say I’m wandering aimlessly—as ever. I’ve had a wedding, and we’re legally married, of course. The honeymoon we’re about to go on could also be called a product of this hesitation.”

“It’s admirable that you’re pondering over a surname so much, Araragi-san. After all, names are very important.”

“Really? You say that after you just called me Sakuragi-san? And for that matter, all eighteen years of mispronouncing my name?”

“I’ve over-chewed it, and my jaw is growing tired.”

“Don’t go chewing someone’s name like it’s gum.”

“I’ve brought it up a few times before, but when my parents divorced and my last name changed, I was bothered too. I was really fond of the name Tsunade, you see.”

“Yeah. It may sound strange to say, to me, you’ve always been Hachikuji, so now the name Tsunade feels new.” 

Tsunade Mayoi.

Maybe for a snail, that might be more fitting.

“Well then, why don’t you become Araragi Mayoi at this point?”

“Isn’t that being too wishy-washy for the Araragi family? Are you trying to create a legitimate Araragi Harem?”

“Although there has never been such a dubious organization, now the mere thought of one is incredibly exhausting. It feels like there wouldn’t be a single fun thing about Araragi Harem.”

“It’s so sad seeing you withered away completely… I can’t bear to look at you, Araragi-san. I feel like saying I hate you. Please don’t talk to me.”

Being told this by her adult version carried a different weight. On the other hand, the memory of a full-blown fistfight with a fifth-grader was far from becoming for a police officer.

“I’d like to bury you just to erase that memory.”

“What on earth are you saying in these harrowed grounds? Anyway, the idea of adopting Shinobu-san far outstrips the former Araragi-san.”

“So I thought I’d adopt you as well at this point, but it just doesn’t work out.”

“Please, don’t create a project like a philanthropic attempt to adopt orphans from all around. No, you may create such projects, but… In your case, Araragi-san, the impression that you are indiscriminately collecting these orphans isn’t a good one.”

In any case, adopting an adult version of Hachikuji as my child had a completely different sense of criminality than adopting a fifth-grade girl.

“If anything, I’d rather become your adopted son, Hachikuji. Hachikuji Koyomi—doesn’t it sound dated and cool?”

“It certainly slides smoothly like the Iroha slope. There’s a miraculous appeal to it… but what’s a vampire to do by joining the ranks of god’s retinue?

“What’s more,” Hachikuji said while looking at my shadow that had fallen within the shrine grounds. “What does Shinobu-san think about it? I doubt that she’s very keen on the idea of meeting your wife, let alone becoming an adopted child to you.”

“Should we just ask her? Would have to wake her up, though.“

Since the early hours of a human morning were the late hours of a vampire night, Shinobu was currently fast asleep inside my shadow.

“You could say she’s sleeping bloody amd dead, completely exhausted from our debate.”

“There’s a debate going on? What do you mean, sleeping bloody and dead—is that some kind of vampire slang?”

“It’s ‘cause we’re family that we fight like that, you know.”

“Oh, you sound like you know what you’re talking about, coming from a dysfunctional family.”

“Who’s from a dysfunctional family?”

Actually, me.

Now, I may be slightly exaggerating with my words, but it was true that, especially during my first and second years in high school, the Araragi family had a tendency to lose its functionality as a family.

The sixteen-year-old Araragi could barely imagine a future where he could enjoy a carefree dinner with his sister—let alone one where she works the same job. I fell on hard times in high school, I had no expectations from my parents, and I had fallen out with my sisters. On graduation—or dropping out—I planned to move out of the house immediately.

It was a mess, pretty much.

“A mess, huh.”

“And it’s not like we’re functioning even now. My parents have both been dispatched to Tokyo, I’ve based myself abroad, and my other sister is nowhere to be found. The family’s dysfunction is barely being maintained.”

“Please don’t maintain it.”

As I pondered repeatedly, Karen, the most untamed and liberated person I know, was beyond my imagination, protecting our home all alone.

“And that’s precisely why I want the home I build to be filled with warmth and ceaseless laughter. Is that too much to ask?”

“A home filled with laughter? It’s undoubtedly better than one filled with ceaseless abuse.”

“Don’t even try to joke about that. You can’t compare laughter with abuse.”

“In all seriousness, though, I’m rooting for you. Make sure that nothing like the cycle of abuse continues. Here’s to proving wrong the ridiculous notion that children raised in dysfunctional families can’t build healthy homes. Show them what you’re made of.”

“I never thought I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but that’s probably what it was.”

If anything, it might be that this reflects Hitagi’s unwavering resolve. It wasn’t about function or dysfunction, her family had already crumbled once before. And even as a single-parent household afterward, they were far from well-balanced or stable—there was a time when Hitagi was losing weight and had to continuously visit the hospital.

So, the idea of building a new family must have been a great leap that she resolutely took. It was for these reasons, her view of what makes a family, that I wanted to respect and support her.

If we really wanted to, we could have chosen to move in together, have a common-law marriage, or live together without changing our names to leave an escape route should things turn sour. But maybe she wanted to cut off any chance of escape entirely. 

It wasn’t like I was completely devoid of such sentiment while deciding to marry, after all this time of being together since Mother’s Day during our third year of high school.

I can’t be a student forever. 

“I still see you as a student of sorts, going to the FBI Academy and all.”

“When you put it that way, I can’t really deny it…”

“Still, once you and the missus start sharing your life together, it’s clear that you can’t just leave Shinobu-san as she is.”

“Isn’t there any other way to call her? It’s a bit confusing for a goddess to call her missus.”16

“Should we call her your spouse?’”

“Weird how wife doesn’t seem appropriate, but spouse does.”

“Your wife knew about Shinobu-san and accepted her proposal with that knowledge, so I think there must be some understanding between them.”

“Yeah, she looks enthusiastic. Even said she was looking forward to meeting her today.”

“And she approved of the adoption too?”

“I have that prepared as a surprise for our honeymoon.”

“Sounds like a recipe for divorce.”

Hachikuji showed a concerned look.

With her adult version, it didn’t feel like a joke, there was a serious impression.

She really was a talented actress. 

“I’m just dumbfounded. Making big life-changing decisions in some surprise. Regardless of whether or not it’s Shinobu-san, adoption is a major step that will steer the direction of your married life. Are you planning to push through with such a monumental decision just because of the starry, romantic atmosphere?” 

“Maybe I should mention it beforehand?”

“It’s not a ‘maybe,’ it’s a must. If you don’t bring it up beforehand, you’d do better not saying anything at all.”

Oh, such grown-up advice.

If she were still in fifth grade, she would’ve most probably gone along with the mischief and agreed enthusiastically, “Yeah, let’s surprise her!” But being chastised seriously, she did make a point.

This wasn’t a conversation to have under a starry sky, and besides, it might be cloudy anyway. 

“But… as long as you’re considerate of your wife’s feelings, I do believe that adopting Shinobu-san into the Araragi family would be the best course of action.”

“As a friend?”

“A god.”

Quite the grand scale we’re talking about here.

I made things that way, I suppose.

“I’ve been training with Gaen-san, so I’ve learned a thing or two about sealing away powerful aberrations simply by knowing their names. Shinobu-san was sealed away by Oshino-san more than six years ago, and yet, Oshino-san himself has been away from this town for a long time. The seal grows weaker.”

“It does?”

That’s certainly not a comforting thought.

In other words, it suggested the potential revival of Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire—an event that a god could not overlook.

I hadn’t considered this possibility. Not considering it felt practically like inviting risk.

“If anything, it’s a miracle that Shinobu-san stayed restrained with Oshino-san’s name, the wandering specialist. If she were a Killing Stone, she would’ve broken free long ago.”

I’m not overly keen on singing his praises, but it’s impossible not to recognize that Oshino was a remarkable specialist—it would be off the mark for an amateurish FBI agent to think that Shinobu’s seal would break if the current situation was left unchanged, and it may be nothing more than a novice deity’s unfounded fretting.

I didn’t expect it to last for one or two centuries, but it could very well endure until Oshino’s death. In any case, I believe that time has come. Rather than allowing the seal to continue under the name of a random old man, it was only right that she was sealed under my name, both as the responsible party and her guardian.

“Well, yeah, there’s no denying he was also a participant in that hell. Even if we leave out the name Oshino, it’s perfectly fine to keep the Shinobu part.”

“That’s an exceedingly condescending attitude toward our benefactor. But from a divine standpoint, it’s probably for the best that Oshino-san’s name isn’t completely removed. For example, giving her a name like Araragiaaaa wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“From a human standpoint as well, that would be a bad idea.”

This isn’t some RPG, after all.

However, once it’s brought up, the matter of what name I should give Shinobu became a tantalizing question. This wasn’t mere whimsy. In fact, it was the pureblood vampire who had transformed her—or rather, Princess Acerola, or Lola—into a vampire: Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide-Master had fully designed her current name.

While I had no intention of defying the divine advice that it’s better to retain Shinobu’s name, it might be amusing to play with the idea as an idle pastime—like considering names for my own child, what about giving her a new one? 

“Hmm. It’s not derived from anything in particular, but how about Araragi Tsubasa?”

“That’s too heavy! Besides, I think your wife mentioned something similar a long time ago.”

Was that the case? Well if so, we were a couple cut from the same cloth. 

“Araragi Nadeko?”

“Not just heavy, that’s a precursor to a dysfunctional family. Please don’t name the adopted child after a woman you’ve cut ties with.”

“It’s not just the names of women I’ve cut ties with.”

“I guess you’re going to say Araragi Sodachi next?”

“I was going to say that, yes, but I’m not actually estranged from Oikura. She’s more of an ill-fated bond.”

“Whether you call her a childhood friend or an ill-fated bond, it certainly changes things quite a bit… Who else? Any other estranged women in Araragi-san’s life? Tsukihi-san, maybe?”

“Though her whereabouts are indeed unknown, I have no intention of severing ties with her. She’s my sister.”

“You’ve always been consistent in that regard. Well, it’s not ideal to name a living acquaintance after a great figure, a deceased one or the like.”

“Right, it isn’t.”

“Oshino-san didn’t name her something like Oshino Mememe either.”

“Mememe?”

Shinobu’s character would have been quite different. She might not have been as shy.

“Who knows, she might’ve been a young girl who loved neatly prepared mackerel rather than donuts.”

“Oshino Shimeshimeshime17 doesn’t sound right either. So, in the spirit of you who is not only a great figure but also a divine being, how about Araragi Mayoi?“

“Terrifically heavy. And it’s just plain creepy if you name your daughter something like that. Why are you so desperate to bring Araragi Mayoi into existence?”

“If we take you and Shinobu, divide by two, we might just end up with the perfect little girl.”

“What’s with this little girl idea? It’s creepy when you look at adoption like that. No one like that should be a foster parent. It’s not cunning, it’s just recklessly said.”

Hmph.

We had come up with many thought experiments, but in conclusion, Araragi Shinobu seemed to be the most suitable choice for now. There was no sign that an idea greater than that would emerge, whether in terms of this process or sealing.

The world works in wonderful ways, doesn’t it?

“But you know, I can’t help but think that if my name wasn’t Araragi Koyomi, I might have turned out to be a completely different person.”

“Yes, you may have ended up dating someone else entirely, too.”

Although I didn’t want to believe that fate could be so drastically altered by a single name, actually, even during my junior and senior high school days, a different attendance number could easily change my position within the class.

Having a starting letter “A” in my name, my attendance number was always either one or two, and just after the class change, it was inevitably a conspicuously awkward position for self-introductions.

I had thought of it like a vile, loathsome four-syllable word that smeared on my beloved wife’s name, but I found myself grateful for the name given to me by my parents: Araragi.

And technically, it was the name of my father’s father’s father’s father—maybe. It may have originated from a grandmother somewhere along the line, but the further back in time we go, the more unlikely that becomes…

“I should get going, though. I may not go on as many tangents as before, but I still lose track of time when I talk to you.”

“It’s such an honor for a goddess to hear that.”

“Do you want to come with me? To Senjougahara?”

“Even the adult version of me is still a novice. I dare not venture into Takamagahara.”

Takamagahara? Oh right, that sacred place at Futarasan Shrine. Everyone’s so knowledgeable about Tochigi Prefecture. If only I had paid more attention in geography class…

“Right, I’ll pray from this distant mountain for a sunny day at Senjougahara.”

“That’s thoughtful of you, but you’re the god of lost children, not the god of weather. Or are you going to make me a teru teru bouzu to ward off the rain?”

“Oh, no, I do serve as a goddess at this snake-themed shrine now, but I was originally just a lost snail. I may not be as powerful as the sun goddess Amaterasu, but I still have some control over the rain.”

Hachikuji’s smile was radiant, almost childlike, filling me with warmth like the sun itself.

“Rain or shine, it remains elementary for me.”