Monogatari Series - Volume 30 - Chapter 1.06

006

“Nine-tailed fox? I know not.”

This indifferent reply came when I asked the young blonde girl, who emerged leisurely from my shadow, about the Killing Stone that had become my mission during a long-overdue honeymoon. Having finished a meal with my sister, taking separate baths, and finally settling down in my room—more accurately, a room that showed traces of once being occupied by the young boy Araragi—I couldn’t help prying.

“I don’t know everything, I know only donuts.”

“Wow, that’s funny.”

“I do know the Cat of Many Tails, though—it is the classic by Ellery Queen.”

After more than a decade of reading nothing but manga, this young girl had finally grown up to read classical mystery novels.

Little girls do grow up, huh.

No, had she truly grown up, not just Japan, but the entire world would be in peril—this is something one tends to forget inadvertently. It is because she remains in this childish form that she is granted the certification of harmlessness.

“Speaking of aberrations, you were once the king of them, and Oshino, being a specialist, should’ve given you some special education. Even I’ve heard of Tamamo-no-Mae’s name.”

“Ah, the name.”

“Somehow, it sounds fake,” said Shinobu as she tilted her head.

She tilted her hands and feet as well—a stretch, it looked like, due to her constant presence in my shadow.

“My history as the king of aberrations, and the nostalgic aloha boy’s expert instruction, it has been almost eighteen years—or has it been six? I have forgotten all about it.”

I wanted to say how unconvincing that sounded, but it might just be the way it is—I hardly remember even a grain of the knowledge I crammed during my entrance exam studies.

It was forgotten on a nanoparticle level.

I wasn’t even sure what I learned in college. I couldn’t even be sure if I really took the exams. Did I get in on my parents’ connections, so very like me?

Including my numerous brushes with death, memories related to aberrations seemed to be deeply etched in my mind, but in reality, these experiences may be romanticized or altered.

Hellish spring breaks, nightmarish Golden Weeks, stylish and elegant battles against vampires and cats alongside Hanekawa, uttering superb catchphrases—do these memories reflect the truth?

”Why don’t you do that thing you do? That memory technique where you stick your hand into your brain and stir it up chaotically.”

I remember it with crystalline clarity, like a trauma.

“Are you a fool? If I, now merely a squeezed-out husk, were to attempt such a violent technique, only the gruesome corpse of a young girl would appear in your room.”

“That’d be awful for sure. I’d have to wield the full might of a cop to cover it up.”

“You should not be a cop by any means. Neither a cop nor an FBI agent.”

“Hmph. That’s why I became a famous detective instead.“

“That certainly sounds like a line from a classical mystery.”

I don’t think so.

Why classical specifically, anyway?

“Right. It was a technique from your vampire days, more or less. I guess you wouldn't have memorized it.”

“Indeed, if I were to stir my brain like that, it would turn into a Tochigi specialty, Shimotsukare.” 

“How are you so knowledgeable about Tochigi’s specialties?”

“I had a period where I lived in this country, as a god.”

That’s right. I often forget that.

Rather than living here, it’s better to say that she reigned over here.

Could it be that this little girl witnessed the battle of Tochigi and Gunma at the Senjougahara, or rather, the fight between god and god, the clash of the giant centipede and snake?

Had she been watching from a vantage point engulfed in sand?

“The timing does not add up. My time as a god in Japan—that is to say, on this land, happened about four hundred years ago. The myth you are referring to may be slightly older.”

“Well, I guess.”

It wasn’t just a slight difference, but that was the scale of human beings.

Wasn’t Tamamo-no-Mae eight hundred years ago? The scale was completely different for great supernatural beings and gods.

So there hadn’t once been a connection or destiny between Shinobu and Tamamo-no-Mae in this country. 

“So you weren’t childhood friends like me and Oikura.”

“Indeed. You have no childhood friends.”

“I do. Don’t forget about Oikura.”

“I merely denied the ‘friends’ part. Although, I cannot deny my tendency to forget things. The times when I was pretending to slay aberrations are now beyond the realm of forgetfulness. Fox aberration, hm.”

”They are often mentioned alongside tanuki, but is that all there is to them?“

Foxes are indeed a common presence in ghost stories, yet their image is generally quite playful and not especially threatening. 

A fox of the size and power to destroy a country, however, would be far beyond the reach of our abilities today.

Whether in Japan or America, my accomplishments extended no further than that of a humble investigator.

As I consider this, I must admit that even current Shinobu is hardly formidable battle personnel; she’d be better described as an entertainer, mascot even. Should the rumor prove true, even with the directive from Chief Kouga, to whom I had sworn allegiance, I feared we would have no choice but to flee in terror, our tails between our legs.

“I‘d cut off my own tailbone just to get away.”

“Though my resolve is strong, the scene before us is indeed a harrowing one. I may not know of the Killing Stone, but I have heard rumors of stones splitting apart all over the place.”

“Oh, so there are other legends like it after all. I wonder if they branched off, or if they were once all one story. History really is fascinating when it’s not part of a school curriculum.”

“Even the dumpling statue at Utsunomiya Station was reportedly split in half, with its sealed juices spilling out.”

“That’s recent, isn’t it?”

That makes me wonder why she was so familiar with Tochigi Prefecture.

If she was, then she should know about Tamamo-no-Mae as well.

Falling behind the times, are you?

“If it is the ancient knowledge you seek, let your wish be fulfilled—in all seriousness, it is a good place to take the tsundere girl.”

“Not because the Senjougahara battlefield is there?“

“I think there was a tradition called the ‘Festival of Rowdiness,’ a bizarre celebration where people march while hurling insults. It would be perfect for somebody with her sharp-tongue.”

“I wish I could have told high school Hitagi about this.”

Now that she had matured, entered society, and found work, Hitagi’s sharp tongue had been considerably subdued. She could no longer become a sarcastic news reporter. Nevertheless, in the sense of recalling the good old days, it was a festival with enough impact that I’d like to visit if I can.

“Where is it?”

“In Ashikaga City.”

“Are you pulling some ancient wisdom from your brain, or did you just read a guidebook?”

Maybe it wasn’t impossible that she was more looking forward to our honeymoon than I was.

On further thought, she had been constantly bound to my shadow, denied the freedom to move on her own. She, who used to be a wandering princess, traveling all over the world.

“I can hardly remember my time as an unmoored princess. I was traumatized by the forced travel. However, you took me to live in America for over a year. It’s a fact that I have grown to miss Japanese food.”

“Weren’t you originally from Europe?” 

“Shimotsukare may vary in taste, but I’m interested in trying Nasuben.”

“Nasuben?”

It was quite puzzling that I was continually receiving local Nasu information when I summoned Shinobu to investigate a mystery as a request of the Hearsay Department. 

Despite all that, the trip was unavoidably intriguing; at its core, it was still a honeymoon.

To make amends for the name taken from my lover, I wanted to make it as good of a trip as possible.

“Ah, the nine-tailed fox is not entirely unrelated to Nasuben. It is an abbreviation of ‘Nasu no Makunouchi Bento.’ Although called a bento, it is more like a set meal; following the likeness of the nine-tailed fox, served in nine dishes.”

“Hmm, I guess the fox is deeply rooted in the local culture, unbeknownst to an ignorant person like me. I wonder what the fox dance is all about.”

“That is from Hokkaido.”

So it is.

In contrast to Shinobu, I had become quite unfamiliar with Japanese affairs. Even so, I couldn’t say that I had become well versed in Washington either. The most I had seen was the obelisk.

There was a sense of instability, as if I was losing touch with my roots. Nonetheless, it was not as destabilizing as losing my name.

…I should tell her about that, too.

It was an unavoidable topic when discussing our honeymoon to Senjougahara.

“Shinobu.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure whether to call you Shinobu or not… since I took your name. I thought that we should take this chance to delve deeper into that matter and discuss it properly.”

“It is a tad too late to be digging up something you have been glossing over with vague words. Although, I did overhear you talking about it with the tsundere girl.”

“Now that I‘m an adult, I feel that I must face the reality that I have avoided and establish a new ethical standpoint. First and foremost, the matter of when I saved you as you were on the verge of death after being torn limb from limb.”

“Is this book going to end with only that story?”

With a meta remark like that, Shinobu had swiftly cut off the conversation—indeed an impressive skill that could only have been honed over six hundred years. She tried to deal with my serious talk by turning it into a gag.

“I’ll cut it out and move on, but, it might have been necessary to neutralize you. Taking away your power may have been, but I can’t help but think, looking back on it now, that taking away your name was a bit too much.”

“Aha. Well, in the sense of the supernatural, taking away one’s name and one’s power is almost equivalent—I must say that even the name Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade was given to me for that very reason.”

“Ah, yeah—by Death.”

“Don’t you dare call her Death.”

Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide Master—the purebred vampire who transformed the wandering princess Shinobu into a vampire.

Now deceased.

When I was in university, Shinobu and I journeyed to Europe—almost as if stowing away—to witness the passing of that purebred vampire. I must mention that this was a tale from before I became a cop.

“I see, that’s how it came to be. Before that, what was it again? When you were a wandering princess—a noble princess?”

“It was Princess Acerola.”

“Princess Acerola.”

“Do not ridicule my former name.”

“I’m not ridiculing it.”

“Before that, it was Lola. Yes, Lola.”

“You’re trying to make me laugh, aren’t you? The way you say it.”

“It was Road Roller.”

“Ah, there’s no escape.”

She was trying to make me sound insensitive. What a wicked little girl. There’s no way she was Lola.

“But that’s the hard part. I wonder if you became a wicked little girl because you ceased to be Lola, or if you ceased to be Lola because the name no longer suited such a wicked little girl. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

“If you put it this way, the chicken certainly came first. The reason why I became a wicked little girl was certainly because of you. You sucked my blood. Do not blame it on the name.”

To be precise, I had sucked her blood just up to the point where she ceased to be Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade.

But it’s not that I wanted to avoid responsibility. On the contrary, I wanted to take responsibility.

“The name Oshino Shinobu has become almost synonymous with a blonde little girl, hasn’t it?”

“I doubt that was the intention when aloha boy named me that. The reputation has been unfairly forced upon both the names ‘Shinobu’ and ‘Oshino’.”

“Don’t you think it’s that you refuse to acknowledge their individuality by calling Oshino ‘aloha boy’ and Hitagi ‘tsundere girl’ instead of their real names?”

“You seem to be hell-bent on shelving me as a non-compliant character from the start. You used to call the aloha boy ‘dirty old man’ and ‘aloha bastard.’ In fact, it’s quite disrespectful to the spirit of Aloha itself.”

“I wonder if giving someone a random nickname or continuously mispronouncing their name is no longer the trend. It used to be the hallmark of a great detective character.”

“On the other hand, when you were called ‘Heart-Under-Blade’s servant’ by the vampire hunters, did it not feel like it suited you perfectly?”

It did.

I could hardly believe that the version of me called ‘Araragi-kun’ by Senjougahara Hitagi and the one called ‘Koyomi’ by Araragi Hitagi were the same person. Also, when referred to as ‘Araragi-senpai’ by Kanbaru and as ‘Araragi’ by Oikura, even the differences between the two felt insurmountable.

Just as there ia no single truth, I’m not uniform either. With each different call, there is variety.

Araragi the boy and Araragi the detective; young Araragi and Investigator Araragi, they are all strikingly similar yet so distinctly different.

“It seems unexpectedly crucial how one is referred to, and I suppose a mere symbol like a name can’t be easily discarded.”

Yet, I had done so, for Hitagi and Shinobu both.

“Maybe I really have no choice but to run for office. I’ll soon have the right to stand for elections.”

“To think someone like you already poses a threat by merely possessing the right to vote, and now you seek to enter the realm of candidacy?”

“I presume that when you became a vampire six hundred years ago, there must have been extraordinary determination behind your decision, but what did it feel like to be named by Death?”

“Do not call her ‘Death’ again. While I cannot recall the experience accurately, I believe it wasn’t bad. It was a rather cool name.”

And so, I had compelled her to let go of that cool name. On the other hand, you could argue that there is nothing wrong with either Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade or Oshino Shinobu, as long as she’s happy with it.

“To sympathize arbitrarily is also a feeling of blasphemy against the laws of nature.”

“Law is not a law of nature. As far as that tsundere girl is concerned, I think it is sad and pathetic to put a sinner’s name on her.” 

“Who’s a sinner?”

“But that may be what it means to be a servant. To bear half the name and sins.“ 

That was precisely the relationship between her and I—in this context, it might be unjust to bind Shinobu to the name Oshino forever. A producer’s name is not displayed.

If one must bind, let it be my name.

“What is with that strange look in your eyes, staring at me after such a long time?”

“Don’t say it as if I used to look at you with strange eyes often. No, no, I just thought that one day I’d have to take you to the Eight Seas of Oshino, too.”

“Taking the heroine all over Japan is too troublesome. Do you intend to become a great travel mystery author?”

“Well, I don’t know where the Eight Seas of Oshino are, though.”

“They are in Yamanashi Prefecture.”

“Seriously, you know every nook and cranny of Japan better than I do. Yamanashi, yeah? The seas. Not seven seas but eight.“

“I shall be honest, they are not seas.”

“They’re not?”

“They are springs. It is probably there that a woodcutter dropped his ax. With eight of them, it is bound to happen in one.”

“That was supposed to be a foreign fairy tale. Choosing between a gold ax and a silver ax, it’s like choosing between separate surnames for married couples. The truth remains submerged in the spring.”

“The Eight Seas of Oshino is a nice place, but I would prefer to visit Futarasan shrine in Nikko, where the legendary sword, Nenekirimaru, is said to be. I’d like to compare its length with that of the Aberration Killer.”

Our honeymoon plans were being continuously incorporated with outside arrangements.

I’d heard about the Nenekirimaru. I suppose the force pulling us toward battle wad quite strong. However, resolving issues through battle and violence was no longer the modus operandi of our times.

Futarasan Chugushi shrine? I remember hearing about Nikko’s Futarasan Shrine from Hanekawa, but maybe it was a different place.

“The location is different. The Futarasan Shrine is a World Heritage site along with the Nikko Toshogu Shrine, while the Nakamiya Shrine is close to Lake Chuzenji. Well, although I have never been there myself, so I cannot say anything for certain. If you’d like, I could scout out the location for you. With a grand jump, perhaps?”

“It’s not like we can allow ourselves a preview of our honeymoon, it would spoil the experience entirely. Revealing any plans beforehand is strictly forbidden. That being said, if we’re going to be near Lake Chuzenji, I suppose it wouldn’t be too far out of the way to visit Senjougahara since it’s along the path. Was it Ashikaga where that rowdiness festival you mentioned takes place?” 

“Indeed, the birthplace of the shogun family.”

“Ashikaga is also in Tochigi. Had the Muromachi shogunate been established there, history might have been different. So, Ashikaga City is at…”

Ungracefully, I checked on my smartphone, and found that it was far from both the Nasu Highlands of the Killing Stone and the center of Nikko’s Senjougahara. It was basically on the opposite side of Utsunomiya. Since we can’t eliminate those two, it seems we have no choice but to give up on the rowdiness festival this time. Although it would have been extraordinarily interesting in terms of tracing Hitagi’s roots, surely such an odd festival couldn’t be held year-round.

We just couldn’t build our plans around a rowdiness festival.

“Considering our rigorous adjustments for a two-night, three-day trip, it’s just impossible to cover the entirety of Tochigi Prefecture. Still, Shinobu, is there anywhere else you’d like to visit? If it’s included in our route, we’ll prioritize it.”

“That reminds me, was Irohazaka not in Tochigi as well?”

“Irohazaka…”

“It’s a slope with forty-eight hairpin turns leading to Lake Chuzenji. To be exact, there are separate slopes for ascending and descending. Each slope is assigned one of the fifty sounds of the kana, apparently.”

“Forty-eight slopes is impressive, but the Iroha song’s forty-seven syllables—or even its fifty—don’t quite match, do they?”

Should I search for an answer to this mystery on the internet? No, such knowledge must be acquired through experience, without prior research or preconceptions. If this is the slope leading to Lake Chuzenji, then it must be the very path to the battlefield.

“We’ll be going by car, you know. It’s not a bridal car, not a camping car either, it’s a slightly larger minivan.”

A larger minivan may sound like a contradictory description, but yes, it’s the only way to describe the size of the car that had been settled on after various replacements.

My Volkswagen was sold because I couldn’t maintain it while I was away for overseas training. I’m sure it’s in good hands somewhere by now.

Maybe the car you are driving was once my Volkswagen?

“Don’t worry, I’ll arrange for a proper child seat.”

‘Who could feel relieved after hearing that…? Wait a minute, master.”

“What’s going on? Is this an emergency?”

“Although it is inevitable that I shall accompany you on your honeymoon due to our shared soul and body, do you truthfully intend to place me in a child seat before the tsundere and the monkey girl?”

“Ah, child seats may be embarrassing, but traffic safety takes precedence above all else. I’m also in a complex position with the Hearsay Department, the FBI, and the like. I still maintain that traffic safety—in this automobile-driven society founded on the auto industry—is of ultimate importance.”

“It may be your call to subject me to the shame of sitting in a child seat, but that is besides the point. As for the monkey girl, she will do just fine in any case.”

“Calling people monkeys is rather outdated, wouldn’t you say? But monkeys come to mind when talking about Nikko. There might really be something to the notion that, in their ability to express remorse, monkeys are the more venerable creatures.”

“Do not impose upon me that trio of wise monkeys—see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. I share a bond with the monkey girl, born of a fleeting moment. Clashing souls—hers, and mine—it was a rap battle that I remember well.”

“Your memory’s distorted.”

It was the time I clashed with Shishirui Seishirou.

Details were sparse, but reflecting on that occasion, I wonder whether ‘she’s fine’ would suffice to describe the connection that arose between them. For that matter, even the relationship between Kanbaru and me, forged in bloody battles, left much to be desired. 

“That’s right. To one such as I, acts of killing are no more than a daily, mundane occurrence.”

“An assertion as lofty as that of a divine being.”

“But really, master. What I wish to discuss is the tsundere girl.”

“Wassup?”

“There has not been a meeting, or so it would seem, between myself and the tsundere girl.”

Strictly speaking, there has been.

Before Shinobu had yet to be bound within my shadow, in the ruins of the abandoned cram school, under Oshino’s instruction—there was a little girl sitting cross-legged, with a deeply-donned helmet, tucked away in the corner of a classroom, and she had been spotted by Senjougahara Hitagi.

But that was it.

I couldn’t call it a meeting, nor could I say that they had exchanged any words—and as such, it could be considered that Senjougahara Hitagi’s bonds with both the King of Aberrations, and the vampire husk, were nothing much.

However, when it came to Araragi Hitagi, things were not that simple.

“We’re living separately across the sea now, but in the not-so-distant future, we‘ll be living under the same roof with Hitagi. It’s only natural that I introduce you to her then. This honeymoon serves as an excellent start for that.”

“I had intended to follow you stealthily by hiding in your shadow. Well, if need be, I can move to the shadow of your sister again, and stay at home like I did before.”

The former King of Aberrations, who used to treat everyone with arrogance, grumbled shyly.

It goes to show how heavy the sin of stealing a name can be, turning a king into such a timid character.

“I want to introduce my proud partner to my new partner.”

“Shall the Senjougahara battlefield become a true battlefield?”

“I chose my words poorly. I want to introduce my trusted comrade to my wife.”

Is the term “wife” even still appropriate in this Reiwa period? Unfortunately, I still lack enough information to gauge Japanese standards, let alone determine whether or not it is politically correct. But it feels quite proper and historically accurate.

Whether or not Senjougahara became a battlefield for real was another matter entirely, but there was a delicate balance that had to be struck—if handled poorly, Araragi Hitagi could revert back to being Senjougahara Hitagi. Nevertheless, this was not simply negligible.

Yes, it was to my younger sisters—Karen and Tsukihi, and even to my parents who were still at home—that I managed to conceal the existence of Shinobu during high school (as well as that of Ononoki-chan, who was living with us for a time). However, when it came to my wife-to-be, the story was different.

I had made a promise with Hitagi from the very beginning.

When we started dating, we vowed not to keep secrets about the supernatural from each other—so, in that sense, introducing Shinobu to her was long overdue. I cannot help but be astonished that I had neglected to address such a subplot for almost eighteen years.

“We live in a time when people get angry if you don’t tie up loose ends. I can’t believe it. The beauty of a story lies in the cobwebs it weaves, whether they are resolved or not—wasn’t it always a secondary concern?” 

“I understand what you are saying, but it becomes a big problem when you are the one saying it. No, there are many other unresolved subplots, are there not? Why is it that only now you are meaning to arrange a meeting between me and your tsundere girl? Was it not more beautiful to leave it up in the air?”

“Now that Senjougahara Hitagi has become Araragi Hitagi, it’s time to finally change that ‘tsundere girl’ title, too.”

“Why would that be?”

Personally, I would like Kanbaru’s title as the “monkey girl” to be changed as well, but chronologically, it should be the tsundere girl first, because—

“Because, you will be the girl, the daughter. Araragi Hitagi will be your mother.”

“Mother of all that is good, what?”

“Not of all that is good, just your mother. I plan to adopt you.”

The time has come—for Oshino Shinobu to become Araragi Shinobu.