Monogatari Series - Volume 30 - Chapter 1.05

005

Now stationed in Washington, D.C., I, Araragi Koyomi, naturally don’t have a home of my own in Japan. So, whenever I return to the country, I find myself going back to my parents’ house. Of course, I have the option of staying at Hitagi’s place—in fact, since we are married and have registered our marriage (a rather quaint expression, perhaps “in the same registry” is more appropriate), one might think it only natural to do so. However, Hitagi, herself, at the age of twenty four, still resides in her childhood home.

In other words, she still lives with her parents. With her father. The two of them.

She lived in a dormitory during university, and afterwards, when she found a job in America, she did have her own place there. However, ever since she returned to Japan to help establish a branch of her firm, she had not sought to move out and embark on a real estate hunt again.

I want to build a good relationship with her father, and reminiscing about the days when Hitagi and I became close, Tamikurasou did hold a sense of nostalgia, too. But I can’t just barge in there and spend the night.

It must be attachment.

Maybe clinging to old customs.

Before our honeymoon, we should have decided on a new home first of all, but in the end, after finishing this trip I have to return to Washington and continue my endless FBI training—though I boast about it, in reality I’m just a rookie recruit in the elite organization, a bottom-rung newbie, in other words, my usual position. And considering Hitagi’s career and status, it’s not so simple for her to leave Japan either.

Even married, it was a long-distance love.

That’s why this marriage, this formality, was necessary—no matter how modern the times, Senjougahara Hitagi had to become Araragi Hitagi. Or maybe I should have become Senjougahara Koyomi.

Well, I can spout some reasonable-sounding arguments, but the truth is that neither Hitagi nor I can leave home yet—we still have that can’t-leave-the-parents mentality.

When it comes to Hitagi, ever since she was in high school she’s been from a single-parent family. She went through rebellious and daddy’s-girl phases, so she probably has a more complicated mix of feelings. She might not be able to leave her father alone—the fact that she didn’t insist on bringing him along on her honeymoon shows she’s grown, I suppose. 

It’s a sign she’s becoming more independent from her parents.

Since I’d rather avoid another family collapse, I cannot but proceed cautiously about building a new family with someone like her. I hope this honeymoon will be a good start for us.

Huh? Us?

The Araragi family?

Well, no, as Chief Kouga mentioned, my parents, the Araragi couple—the other Araragi couple—now often go to the capital on business trips, more often than when I was in high school. I also said that I was returning to my parents’ home after coming back from my trip, but my parents were not there now.

Currently, my sister, Araragi Karen—a police officer of the Naoetsu Community Safety Police Department—is protecting the Araragi household, living alone in a single-family home. So, when I return to the country like this, it seems like I’m being supported by my sister—a far cry from the ideal future envisioned by high schooler Araragi.

“Nii-chan! The food is ready—eat up! Oh, I’ve also prepared the bath, so you can go in whenever you like.”

“…You’ve grown into one fine adult, haven’t you?”

I wonder why my high school self underestimated my sister during her junior high days. Thinking about it now, there was no other way to describe it than unjust. Should the world be different, I’d want to commit seppuku to apologize.

Let me proudly say that while I was away from Japan working a menial job in Washington, she, who still keeps growing in height and possesses an unusually large stature for a Japanese person, shockingly became the top-ranked police judoka in Japan.

The top in Japan, you say?

How on Earth did that happen?

You may have forgotten her initial characterization, in fact, she was originally a karate practitioner, not judo.

“I may be the top in Japan, nii-chan, but it’s separate for men and women, and there are weight classes in judo. So even if I’m praised, I wasn’t particularly satisfied. That’s why I’ve switched my required course to kendo now.”

“You’re always trying to break new ground.…”

I seriously worried about what kind of adult the girl who was aiming to be the strongest in the world as the Fire Sisters, would become, but now that it’s come to this, I see those worries were unfounded. 

She’s totally becoming the strongest.

And she’s protecting our home all by herself. 

“I used to think that fighting with weapons didn’t suit me, but when I tried, I found swords to be quite appealing. They have a profound depth to them. Well, my aesthetics of bare-handed combat already collapsed a long time ago when I carried a gun during my uniformed officer days.” 

“You were good in shooting training too, weren’t you?”

“I owe that entirely to my eyesight.”

As spoken by an expert.

I must say, living in the gun-infested society of America, filled with daily trepidation, can be quite a struggle. Regardless of whether the bullets are made of silver or not, guns are fearsome.

As a novice, I wasn’t familiar with pistols. I had even skimped on shooting practice as well as judo and kendo training.

My stance resembled that of Lieutenant Columbo.

A far cry from being a good cop on Hanekawa’s level.

Those high school days spent reveling in battles now seemed like a distant past. I can’t disclose the concealed details of the Hearsay Department’s operations, but shouldn’t I bring her along on the honeymoon?

With mighty fists capable of banishing even aberrations, there’s no knowing the extent of the damage she might cause.

Bringing my sister along might erase the newlywed atmosphere of the honeymoon, but there was a time when we didn’t get along. Now, I was truly proud to call her my sister.

I’d like to go on a brother-sister trip one of these days, just the two of us.

My precious only sister.

Huh? Weren’t there two sisters in the Araragi family? I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. In a different way than Hanekawa, I really don’t know anything about my sister, her whereabouts and doings are a mystery.

She even went as far as to skip my wedding.

The youngest child, true to our worries, had grown into an impressive adult. I thought I too was leading a fairly unconventional life, but compared to her, mine was a life lived on the rails. The existence of this freely spirited sibling alone could jeopardize not only my and Karen’s careers as public servants but also our parents’.

“Honestly, could she throw away the Araragi name, just her?” 

“Don’t think like that, Nii-chan. You have a lovely sister, y’know?”

Yes, I might have said too much.

I hope she takes it as affectionate harsh words.

Rather, speaking honestly from the life I had spent deeply immersed in the common sense of society, enough to steal the beloved name of my lover, I was almost enviously captivated by the freedom to be able to not attend if it was far away or too troublesome even if it was a relative’s wedding.

And when it comes to it, I might simply break into tears when she—or Karen—marries someone wonderful, but separately from that, I might have complex feelings about the fact that their last names will change.

Araragi Karen and Araragi Tsukihi will vanish. Karen especially was currently defending the family of Araragi on her own.

Despite being the most suited for the Araragi name.

“What are we to do, I wonder? If you two were to get married, perhaps I could then adopt you as my children?”

“Now that’s a crazy idea that brings me back to high school. Instead of that, why not think about how you can enjoy your honeymoon starting tomorrow?”

“I can’t help but smile thinking about it. Might be a good idea, though.”

“Silly nii-chan, you can think for half a day and still not come up with anything.”11

“Hehe.”

“Don’t smirk like that.”

Hmmm. Adoption.

“On the eve of my honeymoon, I just feel like having a long overdue heart-to-heart conversation with my little sister. I never thought I’d spend such peaceful times with you. I feel like drinking some alcohol even.”

“I’m a martial artist, you know, I don’t drink.” 

A commendable stance.

Actually, I don’t drink much either… and Hitagi had been moderate since her student days. It wasn’t so much that her physical condition wasn’t great, but more that she disliked losing her rationality due to alcohol. This is how she lived her life, exercising self-discipline at all times.

How would Kanbaru fare, I wonder? Knowing her in high school, I’m inclined to think she’d be averse to losing her rationality.

“I gotta prepare myself for the trip. By the way, Karen, before you started working, you used to go solo camping all over Japan, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. It was more like mountain hermitages.”

I was really grateful that she’d grown up so well. The workings of fate were truly intricate. 

“Since we’ll be doing that on our honeymoon—not a mountain retreat, camping—do you have any tips for someone inexperienced?”

“Don’t fight with bears.”

“Advice more suited for beginners, please.”

“That was advice for beginners. I fought one and learned the hard way.”

My younger sister has grown up so well, but her teenage years were quite wild. There is no denying our shared blood. Perhaps Tsukihi is experiencing an extended teenage phase in that sense. She’s like a phoenix, after all.

“Besides mountain retreats, I haven’t done any glamping-like stuff. In terms of procuring food on-site, it might be similar to a mountain retreat, though.”

“No, we’re not going hunting or anything like that.”

Maybe the term “locally procured” could be used to describe glamping, but in any case, it was an experience that could be enjoyed without worry, even if you showed up empty-handed; there was no need for survival skills—or so I was led to believe. The ”lam” in glamping doesn't refer to the game you hunt.

“What about the tent? How will you do it?” 

“I’m sure it’ll be prepared in advance. It’s more like a shelter than a tent, really.”

I wanted advice, but instead found myself explaining what I had gleaned from guidebooks—an admittedly superficial understanding. It’s not even enough to say I’ve merely nibbled on it.

“I see. That sounds similar to a mountain retreat, I guess. When I went on one, I had to start by finding a cave.”

“Please don’t compare it to a natural shelter. It’s seriously amazing that you’re still alive.”

“It’s because of that experience that I’m here today. I underwent the same kind of training in the police academy after finding a job. Like, a trek through the mountains.“

“Are you in the Special Forces or something?”

My department is considered special too, but you’re actually in the SAT?

I’m not sure I need this kind of training. Despite being a low-level member of the FBI, I was still a suit-wearer. Young Araragi really was too lax, it seems.

Hearing such a tough story made me think that there was no particular need to be overly nervous about my first camping. It was just due to it being something new that I worried excessively, I suppose. I couldn’t help but have the strong desire not to fail.

“I haven’t even camped as a college student. It might be my first overnight trip ever.”

“Nii-chan, we used to go on overnight trips all the time, just like Tsukihi-chan does now.”

Was that so?

Well, yes, I guess it was. For example, during my hellish Spring Break I spent about two weeks in the ruins of a cram school, and in university, I had even spent some time with Ononoki-chan in an ancient castle of Europe.

If living in ruins was taken into account as glamping, it’s not like I hadn’t been on an overnight trip. I’d even been to hell, although that was a day-trip.

A day-trip to hell.

It’s a wonder I made it back at all.

“I see. Thinking about it that way, there’s no reason to be nervous. For something so unlike me, I ended up doing thorough research and preparations for the trip.”

“Nii-chan, it’s about time you fix your tendency to dive headfirst into things without thinking,” my sister admonished.

“But the reason you’re nervous isn’t because it’s glamping or an overnight trip, it’s because it’s your first time traveling with Senjougahara-san, right?” she asked, hitting the nail on the head.

Is this an interrogation?

“Ah, sorry, not Senjougahara-san, I meant Mrs. Araragi.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

Like in the manga Oishinbo.

Actually, in that manga, when Kurita and Yamaoka got married, they discussed having separate surnames. Terrifyingly, the times have not advanced a single step since then. 

“You’re also Araragi, you know?”

“Should I call her Hitagi? It’d feel like I’m suddenly closing the distance, though. How about Hitagi sister-in-law?”

Hmmm. Karen has also become my lawful sister, huh.

“Since we’re family now, I think that’s fine. When I’m away from Japan, if something happens, I want you to rely on her.”

Conversely, if something were to happen to Hitagi, I’d certainly want Karen to be there as a police officer and as a sister-in-law, and lend her strength.

“Yep, leave it to me, Nii-chan. I too, intend to entrust my precious assets in the hands of my beloved sister-in-law Hitagi.”

“Still, keep your finances separate from your relatives.”

For a harmonious relationship such as ours, I don’t want to tarnish it with petty disputes, especially when it comes to money matters. Plus, Hitagi is already grappling with an inner conflict, as she has had a troubled past involving a despicable conman, and has since taken up a profession similarly deceptive in nature.

It was, in fact, with the intention of capturing such deceitful characters that I became a police officer. Since this is not a suspense drama, I would never wish to arrest my own wife. In such a case, it would be preferable to maintain a vigilant watch over any rumors that may arise, even on our honeymoon. Since the spread of such falsehoods was, after all, akin to fraud.

“Being a police officer’s wife, I assume sister-in-law Hitagi has been thoroughly investigated, hasn’t she?”

“Investigated? Considering her violence in high school… Does such an investigation even take place on a practical level?”

“It’s rather suspicious that you and I could become police officers at all.” 

The fact that she was able to become Japan’s number one police judoka could be testament to her exceptional abilities. As for me, one cannot deny the possibility of family connections playing a role.

On the flip side, if Hitagi—the stationery fanatic—became the wife of a police officer, it might not be an issue, as both Karen and I have been able to slip through the investigation net so far. When I reported our marriage to Chief Kouga, no particular objections were raised. Considering her position as Hearsay Department Chief and her profile as Gaen-san’s confidant, there’s no way she wouldn’t know about Hitagi’s past as Senjougahara Hitagi, when she was involved with the crab.

“Maybe it’s the times, but we can’t just deny someone the right to marry, not even bad guys. At most, they’re sent to the super sideline police department.”

“Which department is that…?“

It might just be the Hearsay Department. 

Being by the window, it seemed to have good ventilation for rumors.

“Well, I for one have been practically banished abroad.”

Speaking of which, it’s true that I have been on a series of constant overnight trips—or rather, I have had a wealth of experience in regularly going missing. However, neither during my time at Naoetsu Private High School nor at Manase National University did I ever go on an overnight trip with Hitagi, neither camping or staying at a hotel.

Be it domestic or overseas, my traveling companions were always little girls, juvenile girls, or adolescent girls.

Looking back, it’s astonishing that I became a police officer.

“Ah, so that’s it. I guess honeymoons had such aspects to them even in Sakamoto Ryoma’s time. I don’t think it’s like that at all now, but it’s like the first time traveling with a partner you’ll spend your lifetime with.”

“And people say that travel reveals a person’s character. Could also be an opportunity to get to know each other better. I’ve also come to know bears through our head-on clashes.“

“That conversation was something I could totally agree with, until you turned it into a mountain hermitage story. Actually, it's more like something out of the folktales about Kintarou.”

While mountain hermitages may be stories of solo journeys, Karate expert Karen, considering her extensive experience in training camps, may be worth listening to when it came to revealing one’s humanity. It may be a matter of humaneness too.

“I’m glad to see that someone who would venture overseas without a passport and engage in on-the-spot duels has begun to prepare so carefully for his trips, but why worry so much? Even if you get into a fight, the bond between you and Hitagi sister-in-law won’t be broken that easily.”

It could be said that we had been together for nearly ten years—and indeed, that’s true. However, counting from my high school days, the person I had shared this decade-long connection with was Senjougahara Hitagi, not Araragi Hitagi.

Fear not any misunderstanding: although it may be hard to avoid such, no matter how much care is taken, it felt as if I was rebuilding my relationship with Hitagi from scratch. And maybe, this was the difference between a romantic relationship and a marital one. If I were told that was the legal distinction, I'd have to concede it made sense.

Just as my relationships with Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade and with Oshino Shinobu are not only different, but polar opposites even.

“A sense of unity that a family has when they share the same surname? I find it hard to believe that this could be the case, with how scattered we are.”

“The Araragi family may be almost separated, but Nii-chan, don’t you think it’s because of our minimal sense of unity that we can barely stay connected?”

That might be true. Particularly from the perspective of those who were separated. 

However, I had never thought about it until I found myself in such a position, but if that sense of unity—or something like it—was born from my mother changing her surname in the first place, then I, the oldest son, was entirely too unconcerned with that historical fact.

It was obvious, but from the time I became aware of my surroundings, my mother had always been surnamed Araragi—Although I knew as knowledge that she had belonged to a different family name before marriage, I hadn’t really thought about it, at least not consciously. There must have been a different sense of unity before that.

And on getting married, she was torn away from that unity.

In a way, didn’t that mean we hadn’t acknowledged her individuality and personality prior to being our mother? It felt like we were ignoring who she was before, after all.

“Ah, well, I guess I gotta go then, to Senjougahara.”

“I think meeting a kindred spirit as your partner makes you the luckiest guy in all of Japan, Nii-chan.”