Monogatari Series - Volume 25 - Chapter 3.09

009 

“Multi-Stick Living Dead!” 

Along with that roar, I was revived after being hit with a mysterious stick. Having died and come back to life again and again during that hellish spring break, I was pretty disconcerted, but this was my first ever resuscitation without the use of my vampire blood, or putting it another way, not based on my immortal body. 

No wait, it’s the second time. 

“Oh! You were able to safely come back to life thanks to me, Koyomi-san! How marvelous, how wonderful, that you were able to be entrusted with my favor! Now, I shall allow you to send generous thanks and a thunder of applause in my direction for resuscitating you, someone I’ve just met for the first time, without any personal gain in mind!” 

… That line, which made me want to end it all, was likewise articulated for a second time. 

Eh? Then did I die again? 

Even though I properly inputted the password? 

I instinctively looked at the blackboard, the 4 blocks I should have filled with pi’s digits had turned back to being blank. In other words,   wasn’t the right answer. 

“You once again got ahead of yourself and got it wrong, Koyomisan.” 

I was criticized with plenty of maliciousness. 

That girl’s impressive for throwing such heartless words at someone who just came back to life. 

“That’s how it ends up when you don’t give me thanks. I’m sorry, but that makes me laugh. Hahahaha.” 

“… We don’t necessarily need to hit the time limit for me to punch you, you know? Representing not just this town, but the whole of humanity.” 

“Sounds nice, aren’t you more clever than I am? Big respects. So when you’re going to gentlemanly retort ‘How outrageous it would be to punch a girl,’ I should hit back with a progressive remark like ‘Then is it fine to punch men?’ is that it?” 

“No. I’ll simply punch you.” 

It was a shame, but with the time limit drawing near, I didn’t have the leeway to banter with her to lighten the mood… I had once again wandered into a dead end. 

Looking back at “Bauyoosakuhiramidanuowananu” once more, it didn’t even look like a game’s password anymore. 

Having something you’re confident in turn out to be wrong deals a surprising amount of mental damage. Furthermore, two times in a row. 

It makes you wonder if you got the fundamentals all wrong. 

Compared to this, randomly writing down   and getting it wrong made it easier to get back up. 

Though I properly died that time too… I don’t know about magic or rules or whatever, but dying unconditionally is absurd. 

With that, I guess I had to feel glad that I was with Chinou-chan who could unconditionally revive me. I even came to think that continually inputting the ten thousand options while using the MultiStick Living Dead for as long as was permitted was the most efficient way. 

Ten thousand times, huh. 

Even in that hellish spring break, I didn’t die that many times—as 

I was thinking that, “Hey, Chinou-chan…” I turned back. 

She was in the midst of removing her clothes—with the MultiStick Living Dead laid on the table, she was quickly removing the fluffy and easily noticeable magical girl Giant Impact’s costume entirely, even the boots. 

What!? Why was she suddenly undressing!? 

Hey, that costume was the reason why that magical girl was a magical girl, it’s not something you should take off. No, even setting that aside, I couldn’t make any sense of her act of undressing!? 

Girls taking their clothes off without a word are mega scary! 

Don’t tell me this young teen was still so fixated on “π” standing for “oppai” that she was trying to expose her breasts!? Or maybe was she trying to keep her promise of showing me her panties, now that the time-up was close!? 

If it’s the former, she would be a real idiot, and if it’s the latter, she was too quick to give up! 

However. 

Setting aside whether she was a real idiot or not, Chinou-chan didn’t try to remove the extremely plain undergarments she was wearing below the costume, and she didn’t show any intent of fulfilling that promise in her lifetime. In other words, she had a different goal for doing that. 

That wasn’t the idea of a sane person. 

But definitely the idea of a magical girl. 

In the end, whether she removes the costume or not, the magical girl Giant Impact was the magical girl Giant Impact. 

Glancing back at the confused me, she promptly and silently picked up the chalk, clack, clack, clack, clack, she filled in the 4 blocks. 

Setting aside where those numbers came from, them being inscribed so dramatically in this climax made me think that had to be the right answer for sure this time, but— 

“I’m leaving the rest to you, Koyomi-san. With dexterity, OK?” And. 

Saying that in the same insolent and annoying tone as before, the Chinou-chan in her underwear, with the chalk still in her hand, collapsed on the classroom floor. 

As if her life abruptly disappeared. 

As if she simply died, according to the rules. 

“Oioioioioioi! What was that!? Even up to this very moment, there hasn’t been a single part of Chinou-chan’s behavior I’ve been able to understand! What kind of rules are your actions based on?!” 

Don’t tell me she couldn’t bear the urgent state of being enclosed here and chose death on her own. I strongly believed that couldn’t be the case for Chinou-chan. I bewilderedly rushed over to Chinouchan’s side—at that moment. 

At that moment, without any preamble—with a clack. 

Like an automatic door, the door of the room opened.