Monogatari Series - Volume 25 - Chapter 10.03

003 

A chosen genius. 

How honorable it sounded. 

No one has ever, and probably will never say this to me in the future, a denomination so magnificent I even thought it was an auditory hallucination. However, that denomination also made me glad from the bottom of my heart that Hanekawa herself wasn’t here. 

That was probably the appellation this class president would hate the most. There was no doubt she would much prefer being called “fancy glasses president” than this. 

But well, if there was a foundation not yet taken down in Japan, and if there was a young mistress exiled from that foundation to an island, and if that mistress was creating a salon gathering geniuses on that island (at this point how likely would that be?), Hanekawa Tsubasa would, without a doubt, be an outstanding enough talent to be invited. 

For instance, a painter without a style. 

For instance, a scholar whose studies are complete. 

For instance, a chef who has already tasted success. For instance, a fortune-teller who has transcended too far.  And for instance—a holy class president. 

That’s how I came to know the reason these triplet maids, these heretic existences, came to this town. That said, I couldn’t really part with the triplets by saying, “I see, so that’s what it was. I totally got it. Well then let me tell you, I’m not in fact Hanekawa Tsubasa. I’ll give you a memo with the real Hanekawa Tsubasa’s location so please head there. I’m glad I got to talk with you, enjoy!” 

My connection to this class president wasn’t so light as to let it be and proclaim that this was only a matter between those triplets and Hanekawa, that it was a decision Hanekawa should make on her own. Don’t mess with me, like I’d let you take Hanekawa to this unknown island with that unknown mistress. 

I’m not even fine with her quitting high school and going abroad, you know? 

I need to somehow turn them down. 

If I don’t ask these triplet maids to leave… the situation might again turn for the worst. I was constantly wishing for those with different worldviews to go back to where they came from, I… I now deeply realize the difficulty in intercultural exchanges. To think I would even wish for those relatively harmless maids to go back. 

However, not caring about my thoughts, Hikari-san (or Akarisan?) said with a bright smile that didn’t even consider the possibility of being turned down, not hiding how much she thought of it as an honor and something wonderful. 

“Congratulations!” 

She repeated herself. 

I thought that even if I passed my college entrance exams, I wouldn’t ever hear a “Congratulations!” so bright that it made my mood waver, but… That said, it’s not like I really was invited to that something-something-Island. 

Someone like me would just get turned down at the gate. 

“But.” 

There, Akari-san (or Hikari-san?) raised her finger. 

“You mustn’t become flustered. Entry isn’t without cost, you see.” “Eh? I have to pay my own way?” 

Although she was exiled, that rich mistress says some miserly things. 

I felt like I could use that as a reason to hook a refusal in, however, naturally, that wasn’t the meaning. Hikari-san (or Akari-san?) continued Akari-san (or Hikari-san?)’s words, 

“For admission there is a test. Please answer the following question.” 

She finished her statement like so… A test? 

An admission test? 

Why is there a need to pass a test for an invitation I didn’t even ask for…? Aren’t tests something a high schooler like myself hates the most? 

However, that was surprisingly not off the mark. 

In the first place, the Hanekawa Tsubasa that that mistress wanted to invite had an uncontrollable love of tests, to the point where you could basically call that class president a pervert—a test pervert. 

She was the kind of girl to ask for a test herself before being allowed to enter the island. In the spirit of my assumed understanding of Hanekawa’s own spirit, should I ascertain these girls’ style here? 

“OK fine. But, you’ll surely regret it: you’ll regret having tried to test me.” 

What’s with that line? 

I couldn’t become like Hanekawa in the slightest. 

However, I wasn’t taking the triplet maids’ test solely in order to pass as Hanekawa… 

Rather, I judged it to be the better choice. 

Essentially, if there is a test and you can’t get to meet the mistress without passing it, conversely, by failing, Hanekawa wouldn’t have to go to that eerie and mysterious island where it seems like a murder case could happen at any second. 

Kukuku. I’m a pro at failing tests. 

If you need a man born to fail all sorts of tests, that’s me. 

“Is that so. We appreciate this motivation. As expected of the talent which mistress has fixed… has set her eyes on.” 

Hikari-san (or Akari-san?) nearly made a slip of the tongue. 

That group exhibited a tidy atmosphere unfit for these burnt ruins, but in the first place, having mistaken this lowly me in this lowly place, aren’t they in reality pretty clumsy maids? 

“Then for this test… Shall we go with that one?” 

There, Akari-san (or Hikari-san?) shot a glance towards the triplet that was apparently the youngest of the bunch despite being born on the same year, month and day; they were looking at Teruko-san, who had up to now always been one step behind. In response, Teruko-san removed her glasses. 

Now I couldn’t differentiate them. 

The now-identical set of three started steadily changing places, in a quiet motion. In the same kind of motion a magician would move face-down cups in, and I quickly couldn’t keep track of them individually. With or without the vision of a former vampire, that motion was too complicated for calculations to follow. When one hid two passing each other behind her back, I couldn’t even see what they were doing. 

That confusing shuffle only continued for 10 seconds. 

After that, those three snapped into place and courteously stopped moving. 

They were encircling me from three sides like hunters not letting their prey escape—then, they once again lifted the end of their skirts and bowed once. 

One of the three then spoke. 

Someone, I had no idea who, put forward this question: 

“Now, who is the eldest? You have two chances.” 

-----------------
3  These four lines are taken word for word from the introduction of the first volume of Zaregoto, and refer to the different geniuses invited to Wet Crow’s Feather Island by Akagami Iria: Ibuki Kanami, Sonoyama Akane, Sashirono Yayoi, and Himena Maki respectively.