036
‘Yes, it’s all over! The hardest years of your life are all over!’
Following a tremendous cry that rang across the shrine, the new god of lost children, Hachikuji Mayoi, embraced the woman in the recruit suit; that is, Benihibari; that is, Beniguchi Hibari; that is, Impostor Benihibari; that is, Benikujaku-chan; that is, Transistor Slender; that is, Beniguchi Kujaku-chan, embracing her with a strength that matched the volume of her cry.
The imagery of a ten-year-old-looking god hugging an eighteen-year-old-looking small girl strikes a certain type of imbalance – a hug where both hands struggle to reach towards the back.
‘So, all you have to look forward to is joy after joys! Let’s go and do everything you’ve always wanted to do! You can do anything! Do you know why? Because, Benikujaku-san, you’re still alive!
‘Thank goodness you’re not dead!
‘Welcome, welcome to my place!’
Sitting despondently in the middle of her words, Benikujaku-chan’s face was pressed tightly by Hachikuji’s own – as if she’d been waiting to do it when she finally finished her exposition.
‘Make friends, make love, make your own family! You’ll meet lots of people you’ll like! Be obsessed with everybody! If there’s something you’d like, embrace it tightly the way I’m embracing you right now! You don’t have to give up on anything any more! Magnificent, isn’t it? I’m so happy for you! You can go anywhere you want, and eat any dish you fancy! You can finish every dessert, and you can cure all your rotten teeth! You can be happy in any way you want; you’ll never live a single boring moment from now on! If you want a life filled with wonder, then set sail! There’s no need to wear any masks, you can become anybody! A songstress, a manga artist, an actress, an athlete, a politician, an astronaut, or even be a Pretty Cure girl or a Kamen Rider, you can be anybody! So, a most difficult choice lies before you! Which road would you choose?’
‘I – I…’
In the face of Hachikuji’s relentless barrage, Benikujaku-chan strained in giving a response – she would’ve cried if she could, but the tears had already run dry.
So she gave a half-smile.
Completely un-adult-like.
‘I want to see my big sis.’
‘Then go ahead and see her.’
‘I want to get out of that house.’
‘Then go. But of course, you’ve already left. That place is no home of yours.’
‘I want – I want to hate mummy.’
‘It’s okay to hate someone.’
‘And the uncle who lives with us –’
‘It’s okay if you don’t think of him.’
‘I want some clothes…’
Speaking of which, Benikujaku-chan is naked.
I thought she wore something else after taking off that suit, but if she thought she was causing her older sister trouble, then it’s inconceivable for her to wear her sister’s other clothes.
Benikujaku-chan climbed up this mountain – baring her all, bare-footed.
‘Then I’ll prepare some. You really are free of any desires. What kind of clothes do you want?’
‘Cute ones – kid’s clothes.
‘I –
Benikujaku-chan made a wish – prayed to god –
‘Please, I want to go back to being a kid, please.’
‘Of course you can.’
Hachikuji pressed her face even harder onto Benikujaku-chan’s.
‘This time, take it slow, take it carefully, take it diligently, take it with leisure – take your time in becoming the grown-up you want to be.
‘There’s no need to rush.
‘You can take all the time you need, as long as you’re alive.’
She repeated once more at the end.
Rewinding, repeating, revolving – spiralling.
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