Monogatari Series - Volume 24 - Chapter 2.37

037

The epilogue, or maybe, the punch-line of this story.

It goes without saying that Benikujaku-chan didn’t make her way up the Kitashirahebi Shrine herself – the shrine’s proprietor, Hachikuji, lent a guiding hand.

If she could do that, then she should’ve done that from the start – please don’t say something as heartless as that. At the very least, I wouldn’t have expected her to trigger such ‘odd phenomena’, and from what I heard from Benikujaku-chan herself, she did set off to her older sister’s place first, so it wouldn’t have been until nightfall, when she left the block of flats naked, that she was really, utterly ‘lost’.

Lost.

Losing her way.

Surrounded by dead ends.

To describe it as ‘streaking’ would perhaps give an improper impression that is too much yet too mild, but an eighteen-year-old woman circling the town baring her all is an unpredictable situation – in that sense, we really barely made it in time.

But in the end, I couldn’t say I had much of a hand in this case – the one who really sank her teeth into this case would have to be the one who stayed in the shrine all this time: Hachikuji.

‘Sorry, a slip of the teeth.’

Something like that – snails do have teeth, after all. Teeth about as sharp as a file.

Yes, Hachikuji Mayoi.

She’s not lost at all.

I could never be as certain as her.

Knowing that this world is nowhere near as gentle, I could never hold that kind of conviction – neither could Hanekawa, nor Oshino, nor Gaen-san.

Benikujaku-chan saying that death would be better isn’t something we can outright deny – anyone near the age of twenty would’ve thought that at least once.

But not Hachikuji, who died when she was ten.

But not Hachikuji, who’s been to hell and back.

It’s how she can be so genuinely, so unabashedly glad over her being alive.

What a great thing it is for her to be alive over the last few days, over the past decade.

Thank you, for having been born.

Thank you, for continuing to live.

If I said that in the video, it’d have ended with everybody laughing at me, and for some people it’d be something arrogantly presumptuous to say, but does it matter? Think of it as something god says, something to forget eventually.

Honestly, after having yanked Hachikuji from hell and leaving her with little choice but to become the new proprietor of the Kitashirahebi Shrine, I wouldn’t say I wasn’t worried about whether she was fit for the job or not – it’s not often my thoughts get all knotty over this.

But she’s more than capable.

If you had been at the shrine at the start, I’d probably never have ended up a vampire – but, that’d also mean I’d never have met you, and that simply wouldn’t do.

So, let’s go through the rigmarole first. Shinobu successfully performed an energy drain, and Benikujaku-chan returned to looking like she’s ten – like she’d always been. That said, it was a rather brutish way of recovery, so it must’ve been painful for her – like the opposite of growth pains. But it’s a pain Benikujaku-chan was willing to take.

She didn’t take the easy way out.

Ononoki-chan contacted Gaen-san to let her clean up the mess – and having sprang into action over a kidnapping case, the local police ceased their operation, just like that. Only Gaen-san can manage such an unthinkable task.

Really, I owe her big time…I can’t imagine what I’d have to do to pay her back come four years. But there’s also a part of me that’s looking forward to it…I only say this knowing I wouldn’t see her soon, but going four years without seeing her does make me quite lonely. Can’t she break a promise?

However, being in Australia when the incident happened and having an airtight alibi, Beniguchi Hibari had never been seriously considered a suspect; not by anybody, not even her father.

There was no need to prove her innocence; having only skimmed those messages, Benikujaku-chan jumped to conclusions – well, my guesses don’t hit the mark much either, so I’m not in a position to say much else.

Treating the multi-storey car park as a hiding place because she wanted to jump off it, dropping that front tooth into the postbox because she wanted to turn it into some box of horrors…who’d have guessed?

Kids really are infinitely imaginative.

Needless to say, having reverted to being a small girl, Benikujaku-chan didn’t go back to the Beniguchi residence…gods don’t go back on their word.

The things that were done by her parents-in-name-only – or more specifically, what they didn’t do – wasn’t as simple as neglect.

Not only was it enough for a civil case, it’s plenty even for a criminal case.

No need for Gaen-san to involve herself, my parents (who have already gotten themselves involved under the rather-undesirable moniker ‘guarantor of their son’) probably wouldn’t sit in silence – and neither would I.

Let’s do what I couldn’t do in that Golden Week a year ago.

I’ll do what I couldn’t do before.

Not because I’ve grown-up.

But for the sake of growing up.

More than that, to make the world a better place.

‘And? What’s going on, Koyomi? If you’re okay with it, go ahead. I’m all ears.’

‘Piss off.’

‘I can’t believe you of all people would tell me to piss off…boo hoo hoo…’

Weeping like a classically-trained actress, Hitagi sat across me – the place was the same as last time, the cafeteria in Manase University.

It looks like it’s going to rain, so unlike last time where we sat at the open terrace, today’s lunchtime was spent indoors.

I say lunchtime, it’s more a meeting, so consider this a lunchminute.

The injunction isn’t completely lifted, and this is something rather delicate, but sharing every story about oddities was a promise I made with this insufferable nuisance of a female uni student – I never thought I’d have to share this, but if it involves a ‘Revolver’, then I guess I have to.

I explained what I could to Hitagi, mindful of the personal privacy of those involved – the tale of a child wanting to hurry and grow into an adult.

‘Hmph. I see, huh, so that’s it. Great job. So you got your happy ending. All’s well that ends well. Ayy, it was worth stopping by in the middle and asking you how it’s going. At least everybody got something good out of it, eh?’

‘Seriously, man, get lost.’

If you weren’t interested, then why even bother?

A happy end this was not.

‘Everyone’s working towards a happy end, aren’t they? That’s a happy end to me.’

‘Why does it sound like you’ve been listening even though you haven’t…’

‘Or should I say Koyomi’s invented a brand-new form of paedophilia by having a kid look like they’re above eighteen? I must say, my boyfriend’s awfully talented when it comes to finding loopholes.’

‘Once your Assam tea latte arrives I’d like to kindly ask you to sod off back to your home. To your real home. Where you can be told off. By your parents.’

‘Deary me.’

Having inserted a gag that would’ve made the floor collapse with laughter were it three centuries ago, Hitagi continued with a question.

‘A “Revolver”; so it’s an oddity that speeds up time?’

Well, for her to remember the name shows she has been listening.

‘It’s less an acceleration and more a revolution. As the name suggests…twisting space and time. You might as well call it a shortcut – instead of going round and round a set spiralling path, it felt more like taking a direct path to the centre.’

A snail is a snail after all.

They’d never go fast – they’d only shorten distances.

‘So the opposite of “more haste, less speed”. “More haste, more speed”. Wanting to grow back into a child, huh. I once reckoned “wanting to return to a former self” to be nothing more than pointless nostalgia, but now, I can’t help but ponder…’

‘Are you actually even pondering…?’

‘Don’t cast doubt over your girlfriend’s words. Putting aside whether that was a lie, the fact that you doubted me means I can foresee our relationship falling apart.’

Her fighting words may be a thing of the past, but her eloquent side hasn’t changed – ‘wanting to return to a former self’, I see.

Eh, it might’ve been the opposite of what I said to the Girls’ Basketball Club in that video message, but I can’t deny the part of me that wanted to return to high school.

Those were good times.

Those were better times.

That wasn’t the case; all I was left with then were painful memories and experiences, yet even so, the reason why those thoughts pop up is because just as humanity looks forward to the future, it also pines for the past.

That’s why people think the past’s a better place.

That’s why people believe.

Yet in order to do this, one must first accumulate enough events to form a ‘past’ – no shortcuts, even if it means going the long way round.

More haste, less speed.

To borrow from that unpleasant swindler, I guess this was the lesson I should take home from this – having graduated, matriculated, and begun a new path, that allure of ‘the past being great’ would still remain in ten years’ time.

‘Once able to capture feelings like not wanting to go home, I see Hachikuji-san’s saved a girl leaving home using her unhappy past experiences. Just as this consultant predicted.’

‘When have you ever acted as my consultant?’

‘I told you, didn’t I? “Since you’re Araragi Koyomi”. Or would you prefer me bringing out the informational board?’

So that’s it.

It’s not exactly easy, but she makes it look easy even though it isn’t, this consulting business.

‘You do know I’m gunning for a top financial consultancy for a billion-dollar company, right? I can’t wait ten years. If only the “Revolver” can work its magic on me too…’

‘What mental gymnastics did you do in order to reach that conclusion from what I’ve said?’

You weren’t listening all along, were you?

Christ on a bike. Never change, Senjougahara Hitagi.

‘Anyway, if we think of it in the realms of oral tradition, the “Revolver” would be a ghost tale of a child who went up the hills and returned home an adult. I’ve only thought of it just now, but isn’t that a bit like being spirited away? A child going missing only for them to return after a decade?’

‘I’m quite sure the latter involves the child returning as a child, right? Either way, spirited away is a good way of putting it. It was Hachikuji keeping the child away from her parents, after all. Almost like taking her in a temple for refuge’, Hitagi said.

It wasn’t a temple, but a shrine – but then again, there is the ‘ji’ [‘temple’] in ‘Hachikuji’…like the snail, such similarities probably deserve further looking into.

Well, this is more a task for Gaen-san…

It’s a necessary distinction.

‘You can do things you couldn’t have done as a high schooler now. Conversely, there’s also things you could’ve done as a high schooler that you can no longer do. Like letting a young girl sit on your shoulder.’

‘Hm? No, I can still totally do that…’

‘If I can bemuse you with a loli slave joke, then it means everything’s really done and dusted. Well then, I’ve still got lectures to attend, so if you’ll excuse me. Let’s continue to do our best, okay? I’m wishing for you to become a man worthy of me.’

‘What kind of conclusion is that?’

‘I’ll keep checking in on you. Don’t get carried away.’

With a gentle grin, Hitagi-san took her bill and left with gusto – if she said she was busy today, then that must mean it’s a long walk from the next lecture hall again.

Time waits for no one.

Although I should imagine she could slow down a bit too…then again, I should probably be grateful that she could spare the time to listen to me in the middle of a busy day.

Right, it’s about time I went to my classes too.

It’s alright if I took my time, but it’s not good if I stopped moving…it’s about time I really needed to meet up with Meniko. As I prepared to leave, engrossed in my own thoughts –

‘Please excuse me, is this seat taken, please?’

As if waiting for Hitagi to leave this entire time, a certain voice beckoned me to sit face-to-face – whilst that seat wasn’t taken at all, and I needed to leave, the déjà vu made me instinctively sat back down.

In front of me, was a lady in a recruit suit – not.

Wearing a healthy-looking white blouse and a skirt with suspenders, a tulip hat and a backpack, in full transistor slender, was a primary school girl.

She wasn’t wearing pumps, nor was she barefoot, but wearing a pair of boots, matching the colour of her umbrella.

‘Go ahead – what about school? I thought you transferred.’

‘Please, I have a half day of lessons for school today.’

Benikujaku-chan sat after finishing that sentence – maybe it’s force of habit, or maybe it’s an oddity after-effect like my vampirism; the only thing that hasn’t changed was her eagerness to please.

A half-day, I see.

‘So, before going back to big sis Hibari’s place – our place, I took the longer path because I wanted to say thank you to Araragi-san.’

The longer path.

Eh, chances are she couldn’t stay until evening, so she made up some excuse to come here and see her older sister, but even so, hearing those words, I’m overjoyed.

In the end, she may have urgently headed back, but I never managed to catch a glimpse of Benihibari…perhaps one day, I can meet her through Mitonon.

It’s a small world – five circles.

When the time does come, I hope she doesn’t find out about my illegal entry with the tween girl – that said, with her coming here and thanking me –

‘Didn’t I say? There’s no need to thank me. I only did what was reasonable – or should I say, what was unreasonable.’

‘I think a world like this is a beautiful world.’

As Benikujaku-chan gave her response, the waiter came by to take her order – now that she no longer needed to pretend to be an adult, will it be orange juice, or will it be a milkshake?

No matter what she orders, it’ll be my treat, a toast to her new beginnings. As I gazed intently on the small girl, anticipating her next move, she ultimately said, nervously,

‘A coffee, please. Black, please.’

…Well, when it comes to that kind of pretending to be something you’re not, isn’t that exactly what a kid would do?

1 Her name is given as ‘Higasa Seiu’ in the preceding book. Same kanji (日傘星雨), different reading.

2 海老反り (ebizori): belly down (sometimes), legs up, hands stretching up or back to meet the legs as the torso arches back (like a shrimp). Look it up if this description isn’t visual enough.

3 雀 is not gender-specific, though technically it should be ‘peahen’ since it’s a she.

4 Literally ファイブサークル (faibu sākuru) in the original. There is a Japanese term for it, and it involves the word ‘six’, but it seems either Koyomi or Nisio had mangled it beyond recognition.

5 See the endnotes for ‘Tsukihi Undo’ from Orokamonogatari on why I translate Ononoki’s ‘oni no onii-chan’ like this. No, unlike what the book says, you should definitely start this series from a few books earlier.

6 二十一九寺 (‘twenty-one-kuji’) and 二十二九寺 (‘twenty-two-kuji’) respectively.

7 For the sake of clarification, the original word is女児 (joji).

8 ‘Transistor slender’ is presumably a reference to ‘transistor glamour’, a Japanese phrase that originated in the 1950s when transistor radios were becoming popular. It refers to attractive women with a small stature, contrasting against the trend towards taller figures then.

9 The original was a deliberate typo / tongue slip: 経験放物線 (keiken-hōbutsusen, ‘experience parabola’), as opposed to 経験豊富 (keiken-hōfu, ‘experience-rich’).

10 In addition to the visual kanji pun, Kindaichi Kōsuke is himself a renowned fictional detective under the pen of Yokomizo Seishi.

11 In the original: 一切 (issai, ‘everything’, lit. ‘one cut’), 十一切 (jūissai, the pun, lit. ‘eleven cuts’), and 十一歳 (jūissai, ‘eleven years old’ and the second part of the pun).

12 In the original, モータープール (‘motor pool’) instead of the standard 駐車場 (chūshajō). Itself loaned from English, but nowadays it’s a false friend, hence the switch. It is more often used around Kansai.

13 Statistics time! The Japanese ‘standard score’ (偏差値) is a measure of a student’s relative academic performance based on the normal distribution. It is identical to a Z-test, but the scale is different, with 50 being the mean, and every ± 10 marks = ± 1 standard deviation. A standard score of 25 means being in the top 99.38% of candidates, hence Araragi’s unimpressed response.

14 This translation uses the European system of numbering floors, so the ‘first floor’ here would be the ‘second floor’ in North America and Japan.

15 ‘Recruit suits’ are a characteristic of Japanese job-hunting culture, and are virtually standardised outfits jobseekers are expected to wear to interviews.

16 Beniguchi’s speech has a highly noticeable verbal tic, in this case, unnecessarily stacked polite forms. If a sentence is supposed to end with masu, she adds a desu after it. If a sentence ends with deshita, she adds a mashita after it. If a sentence ends with masu kara, she adds a desu kara, and so on, presumably a play on what this polite style of speech is called in Japanese, the desu-masu-chō. This unnatural redundancy is approximated in the translation via excessive polite interjections and repetitive sentence structures, amongst other tricks.

17 ‘OB Club’ in the original; for some reason Nisio seems to have mistaken OG (‘old girls’) for OB (‘old boys’) for exactly one time once again (it happened in Shinobumonogatari too). I have taken the liberty of correcting it.

18 This is a very loose interpretation of うつろいねじり (utsuroi-nejiri): a more literal translation would be ‘changing twist’, ‘twist’ in the sense of applying torque, not the plot device or a certain dance. ‘Revolver’ is a purely personal, arguably ill-considered choice taking into account its proximity to the original, its nature as an oddity (‘changing twist’ sounds really lame, honestly), the context specific to this arc, the multiple meanings of ‘revolve’ (and therefore ‘revolver’), and the fact that I have the option to use a lengthy footnote to explain all this. And also the quintessential Beatles album, but you didn’t hear it from me.

19 回覧板 (kairanban). Formal as the prevalent translated term is, it is, in essence, like what a paperboy does, except instead of delivering the papers, the person delivers neighbourhood notices, notifying residents of goings-on in their vicinity.

It may be the end of the chapter, but this is not the end of the book!

‘Chapter Three – Mayoi Snake’ has been translated by Mirrored Translations, and can be found online starting from here.

Since that was translated first, some segments that tie into this chapter have been whited out. Highlighting / selecting the text will make those segments reappear.

Keep in mind certain terminologies or translation styles may change owing to each translator’s personal preferences.