Monogatari Series - Volume 24 - Chapter 2.33

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The first one that came off was a front tooth. It just dropped out. I think it was on the upper row, the second one from right. From my right. But then, not long after that, the second from left upper tooth fell out as well, so maybe it makes little difference.

I was very happy at first. Mummy said milk teeth grow out, so I did not need to go to the dentist for a cavity, but up until now, I have never had a tooth fall out before. Out of all the students in year five, I was the only one who has never had any teeth replaced. My PE teacher said that it was ‘raer’ for anybody my age to have never had a tooth replaced, but it was no big deal.

However, big sis became very worried. She said it might have been because I did not have enough nutrition. Seeing big sis acting like this, I started to become afraid. I was afraid that I could not grow up into a grown-up after all.

So I was really happy to have lost my first tooth. I thought it came out from the shock of having stepped on Mister Snail. It was half-pity, half-sick for me.

But in no time, I no longer felt either of those feelings. It was not only the other front teeth, but all my other teeth that fell into the water. I was very scared, and I picked up all the teeth that fell out, and tried to put them back in, like they were only a while ago. However, I did not succeed in putting every tooth back where it was, because I had no idea which tooth went where.

I became totally frightened.

I thought it must have been because I stepped on Mister Snail, that I was being punished. Even though my gums did not hurt, the rest of my body started to ache.

Thinking back on it now, it must have been the ‘growth pains’ my class has been talking about – but back then, I thought I was being punished by the gods.

It felt like I was being punched all over my body. It was so painful I cannot stay quiet, so I ran and ran and ran – even though just then, I had been challenging myself on how slow I can walk, but now in the rain, I started running.

However, even as I ran, it did not feel any better. It was too painful, I cannot stand it.

I really thought I would rather die.

I want to die, I thought to myself.

So I looked for somewhere high up – somewhere high up enough that I can jump to my death. Mummy taught me that before.

If I seek death, then so be it.

I first thought of the school campus, but I ran in the opposite way. If I turned back and ran back where I came from, I think it would be a mad thing to do – and then I heard a ‘squeak’ sound.

Thinking back on it later, it must have been my clothes cracking open. It could also be the sound of the shoulder straps of my backpack eating into my shoulders.

I saw a car park. The car park was a two-storey car park. It did not look tall enough for me to die if I jumped off it, but I decided to give it a try.

I could not wait for the lift, and since it was so painful, I rushed up the emergency stairs.

If I jump from the roof, I would be happy. I could be free from this pain that seems to be hurting from the outside and the inside.

I can be liberated. If I let go of my life.

But, by the time I went up, I was exhausted. I fell down just before I made it to the roof. The backpack ate its way into my body so much that it was twisting my body – wringing it, trying to snap it like a twig, and it was very difficult getting it off. All of the teeth I had picked up was now all over the floor.

Suddenly, I could not see anything.

I thought it was because I had fainted, but I found out it was because when I was down on the ground, I had a metre of forelocks in front of my face.