1
The witch’s paradise, the Nebulis Sovereignty.
With a single command from the Nebulis queen, a tremor seemed to run through the entire nation.
“This afternoon, we will conduct a surprise inspection of your personal belongings,” she proclaimed.
Those within the palace stirred.
The meeting had been on the verge of concluding. The ministers murmured among themselves after the queen’s abrupt declaration.
A check of their personal belongings?
And without notice?
But why? Did the queen suspect her own vassals of some wrongdoing? Surely not.
“Your Majesty…what in the world is the meaning of this…?”
“You don’t suspect one of us is a traitor…?”
The ministers muttered frantically, one after another.
“Silence.” The queen’s order cut their grumblings short. “I have no particular reason for this. I simply would like to ensure that the palace is conducting itself with discipline.”
“…Discipline, you say?”
“Yes, that’s right.” The queen nodded. “I believe some have allowed themselves to become lax.”
An hour later…
“Mmm… What nice weather.”
Alice was taking a leisurely stroll around the palace courtyard.
Aliceliese Lou Nebulis IX.
The princess was known for her brilliant golden locks and charming face. On the other hand, the Imperial forces—the Sovereignty’s enemy—knew her as the Ice Calamity Witch and feared her great powers as an astral mage.
However…
…at that moment, she hardly looked like she belonged on a battlefield.
“Ahh…I’ve been cooped up in my study from morning until dusk every single day signing documents. My shoulder is stiff, and my whole body hurts. I’m so sick of this!”
In a word, Alice was currently ditching.
She had given up on her arduous work as a princess and escaped into the courtyard to take a break. But in the afternoon, she would need to attend a meeting.
“Whew… I feel refreshed now, but if I skip out on any more work, Rin will give me an earful. I should go back to my chambers.”
So, she returned to the palace.
Once Alice reached the hall, she came to an abrupt stop.
“Oh?”
A few dozen people had gathered there. They held all sorts of positions within the palace—from soldiers to ministers and even attendants. They had formed a line.
“I wonder what’s going on?” she wondered aloud.
“You’ve come just at the right time, Alice,” the queen said when she noticed the princess.
“Your Majesty, what is this?” Alice asked her mother.
The crowd was surprising enough to Alice, but the fact that the queen herself was in the first-floor hall was also shocking. Normally, she would be in the Queen’s Space at this time.
“We’re inspecting everyone’s personal belongings. Every single person who travels through the hall will have their belongings thoroughly searched.”
“…Huh?”
“This is the perfect opportunity,” the queen said, nodding. “Alice, I will personally inspect your belongings.”
“W-wait, Mother?!”
“Come now, Alice. Hand over your bag.”
The queen started to close in on her. It seemed she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Alice flinched and shrunk back.
“Wait, Your Majesty! What in the world…? No one informed me of an inspection!”
“That’s because it was purposefully never announced.”
Alice was surprised. However, the princess’s resistance seemed incredibly suspicious to the queen.
“We’ll begin with a body search.”
“You’re even doing a pat-down?!”
“Alice, stand still.”
The queen held a metal detector, which she passed over Alice from her neck to her hips.
“Oh?” the queen muttered.
“Th-that tickles, Your Majesty!”
“All right, then… Nothing turned up during the search.”
“O-of course! Well, then I’ll just take my le—”
“Stop right there, Alice.”
The princess froze.
Alice had tried to casually leave the hall, but the queen wasn’t letting her off that easily.
“We haven’t finished the most important part of the inspection. We need to check that handbag under your arm.”
“Y-you mean this…?!”
She had done it almost unconsciously. Alice had tried to hide her bag behind her back.
She was concerned about one item in it. Something that she didn’t want anyone from the Sovereignty to know about.
“Y-you won’t find anything improper at all, no matter how much you inspect my belongings!”
“Oh?”
The queen’s eyes glinted.
It seemed that Alice’s response had sounded quite suspect to the queen.
“Nothing improper, you say?”
“Th-that’s right!”
“Then why are you hiding your bag behind you?”
“Urk?!”
“Alice, just give up,” her mother insisted.
“Uh…ugh… All right.”
Alice handed over her bag, and the queen promptly peered inside.
“It appears empty.”
“A-as I said, there’s nothing inappropriate in it at all—”
“Oh? And what is this?” The queen held up a piece of cloth that had been in the bag by the tips of her fingers. “It seems to be a handkerchief.”
“Th-that’s…!”
“Is something the matter, Alice?”
“N-no…”
All Alice could do was avert her eyes.
It looked like a perfectly ordinary handkerchief. Though it was a rather masculine color and style, there was nothing particularly questionable about it. Or so Alice hoped.
“Mm-hmm.”
“…”
“Well, nothing seems to be amiss. I don’t believe it’s suspicious.” The queen returned the handkerchief and bag to Alice. “You’re all done, Alice. I’m sorry for taking up your time.”
“Phew…”
“Were you that worried?”
“N-no! Not at all! I was certain there wouldn’t be any issues! Ah…ah-ha-ha…”
She stuffed the handkerchief back into her bag. Or rather, she hid it away again, to be precise.
……Oh, that was a close call.
……What would I have done if she had noticed?
It was, in fact, a man’s handkerchief.
It hadn’t originally belonged to Alice.
She had borrowed it from her rival—Iska the swordsman—under circumstances she hadn’t ever expected. If anyone realized the handkerchief had originated from the Empire, it would cause a huge scandal.
“That had me on edge…,” Alice murmured.
“Alice.”
“Y-yes, Mother?!”
“Inspecting every person is time-consuming.” The queen let out a fatigued sigh. “Please help me with the inspections.”
“Would I simply need to do what you currently are? If that’s the case, I can certainly help.”
And so, Alice was roped into becoming an inspector.
She looked over the soldiers and attendants in the hall waiting in a line for their inspections.
“Oh?”
That was when she recognized a small figure among them. This person was trying to sneak away from the inspection line and into the elevator.
“Stop right there!” Alice rushed over to the person and grabbed them by the back of their collar. “I’ve got you, Sisbell!”
“Eek! Wh-what are you doing, Alice?!”
Sisbell—a girl with striking strawberry-blonde hair and enchanting features—was another princess. She was also none other than Alice’s little sister.
“What has gotten into you? I was just going back to my room.”
“You can’t trick me. You headed this way to skip the line, didn’t you?”
“I—I…I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
“Very suspicious.”
Alice pinned her sister with a glare as the girl avoided eye contact.
Alice herself had been scared out of her wits while trying to hide Iska’s handkerchief, but now that she had made it through an experience of her worst fear, she was on top of the world. In fact, she’d say it was Sisbell’s turn to go through what she had.
“Sisbell, you’re always cooped up in your room. You never even attend the meetings. What are you doing every day?”
“I’m focused on my studies,” Sisbell replied proudly without missing a beat. “Unlike you, I engage in battles of the wits, because I’m the intelligent type.”
“…I feel like that was an insult. Well, if you’re going to act shameless, I suppose you wouldn’t feel ashamed if I inspected your things!”
“Uh?! Hey!”
“I’ll do your inspection personally!”
Alice grabbed her sister by the back of the collar again.
First, she’d start with the body search. She waved the metal detector her mother had handed off to her along her sister’s entire body.
“Your back, torso…uhh, and sides.”
“Th-that tickles! Please, Alice!”
“I see. So you didn’t have anything suspicious on your person, after all.”
“Of course I wouldn’t!” Sisbell let out a long sigh. “Well, that’s two minutes and forty seconds of my time I’ll never get back. I’ll be goin—”
“Not yet, Sisbell. I haven’t finished!”
“Oh!”
Alice had relieved Sisbell of the bag on her back.
“What are you doing now, Alice?!”
“If you have nothing to worry about, then submit to the inspection!”
As it so happened, Alice’s mother had said more or less the same thing earlier.
“Let’s take a look in your bag… Oh, it’s just a dictionary and other books.”
Sisbell had said she was the type to engage in battles of the wits, and the tomes packed in her bag were a testament to that. She had specialized books on math and physics, as well as a rather advanced-looking language dictionary.
“Nothing looks suspicious…”
“Obviously. Now, will you please let me go, Alice?”
“Oh?”
Deep below the layer of books, Alice’s eyes stopped on a particular piece of reading material.
It looked oddly thin for a book. On top of that, it was a garish pink. She wondered what it could possibly be.
“What is this…? Hiyah!” Alice pulled the book right from the bottom of the bag.
“Agh?!” Sisbell, who had been the picture of composure until that moment, turned pale. “S-sister, I can explain!”
“The monthly Maiden’s Bible? I’ve never heard of this magazine before. Let’s see.” She couldn’t judge the book by its cover. She opened to a page and scanned through the novel section. Then Alice froze. “…‘Sh-she drugged him with a sedative…and once he was unconscious…t-took him to the bed’… Whuuh…?!”
“N-no, you can’t! Don’t read it!”
“Sisbell!”
Alice batted away Sisbell’s hand as she tried to snatch back the magazine.
Sisbell’s face was bright red.
“What is this?!”
It was a romance novel. And on top of that, it was full of scenes in which the main characters were in wholly improper situations.
Though they were just words, the descriptions were shocking to Alice’s inexperienced mind. She had no idea such a hedonistic adult world existed.
“What did you just make me read?!”
“You’re the one who started reading it on your own, Alice!”
“Th-then why are you sneaking around with this on you? You were simply camouflaging it with that dictionary and math book and all those other textbooks on specialty subjects. When you were really just…just smuggling in this smut!”
Yes. Actually, when she looked very closely, Alice saw that the magazine was marked with an over-eighteen warning. Alice wasn’t old enough to buy the magazine, much less Sisbell.
“What is it?” the queen asked.
After noticing the sisters’ spat, their mother, the queen, had made her way over.
“Oh, you’re here too, Sisbell?”
“Your Majesty!”
Alice thrust the magazine right into the queen’s chest.
“Mother, this is a national emergency. Look at what Sisbell had!”
“No, don’t, Aliiiice!”
“Oh my!” The queen’s eyes opened wide. “Sisbell!”
“I-it isn’t what it seems like, Mother. It’s…”
“Alice, you’re in charge of inspections now. I think Sisbell and I need to have a personal chat…about decency and morals.”
“Nooo! I’m sorry, Mother! I’m sorry! I was just curious!”
Alice watched as Sisbell, the first person to be caught in the inspections, was dragged off down a corridor.
“It seems the wicked do receive their punishments.”
She wiped the sweat off her brow.
But she wasn’t satisfied yet. The fact that Sisbell had been found out during the inspections meant that they were necessary after all.
“Now, who looks suspicious…?”
“Lady Alice, may I have a moment of your time?”
“Oh, Shuvalts?”
A silver-haired elderly man in a suit approached her.
This was Shuvalts, one of the royal family’s attendants. And this gentleman also happened to serve Sisbell, the one who so happened to have been found guilty of indecency.
……He couldn’t have.
……Shuvalts wasn’t the one who got Sisbell that book, right?
If he had, that would be a huge problem.
“Lady Alice, have you seen Lady Sisbell? She left her room but hasn’t returned yet…”
“She’s with Her Majesty at the moment.”
“Oh? She hardly ever has meetings with Her Majesty. If she is simply with her mother, then I can rest easy.”
“She’s being scolded, actually…”
“Scolded, you say?”
“Yes, and Shuvalts…” Alice held the metal detector out toward the elderly attendant. “I’m afraid I need to check you and do an inspection of your belongings.”
“As you wish. This must be the inspection Her Majesty instated this afternoon.”
“Yes. And everyone must go through one.”
Shuvalts was practically born to be an attendant. Alice had been reminded time and time again that he was perfect in his role and had always acted irreproachably.
……And he is my little sister’s attendant, after all.
……But she had that on her person.
He served a master like Sisbell. Now that Sisbell had been found guilty of indecency, it was only natural that her attendant should be investigated thoroughly as well.
“I’ll begin by inspecting your belongings,” Alice said.
“I have no qualms. Please inspect them to your heart’s content.” Shuvalts nodded confidently.
As though to prove his words true, all Alice found on him were his pocket watch, a handkerchief, and a comb to fix his hair.
He was flawless. He only carried the bare minimum, just as an attendant should.
“You’re amazing, Shuvalts… You’re always impeccable.”
“I’m touched. Well, I will be taking my leave.”
The attendant left without any humiliation.
The inspections went swimmingly after that. Even Sisbell’s crime had been revealed, but when a certain man appeared, Alice scowled.
“Lord Mask…”
“Hello there, my dear Alice. You’re as fair as ever today.”
The tall man who approached her was wearing a metal mask. He was a member of the Zoa family, one of the three Nebulis royal families. The Zoa were secretly fighting for power against Alice’s family, the Lous.
Lord Mask was something of a veteran adviser.
“So…” Lord Mask looked around.
A number of soldiers had gathered to inspect everyone visiting the first-floor hall.
“There seems to be quite a crowd assembled. What’s happened?”
“We’re inspecting everyone’s personal belongings.”
“Oh? Another interesting idea.” Lord Mask placed a hand against his forehead and went silent for a moment. “Then who are you inspecting?”
“Everyone who travels through this hall. Without exception.”
And you’re definitely not an exception.
Even if she didn’t say it out loud, a man as intelligent as him would be able to glean her meaning.
“I see. However, Alice, my dear, I’m here to attend a meeting that will be starting quite soon. And as you can see, all I have with me is this plastic file of documents for the meetin—”
Beep.
When Alice wordlessly brought the metal detector up to him, it began to go off.
She had waved it in front of his chest.
“You were saying?”
“…”
“Would you mind producing whatever it is you have near your chest?”
“You’re much too cautious…”
The man shrugged, seeming resigned. As though it were only natural, he produced a gigantic knife from his black suit. He claimed it was only for “self-defense,” but the blade seemed too sharp for that.
“Did you intend to bring this knife with you into the meeting?”
“Hm, nothing gets past you, Alice. Your words are as sharp as any knife.”
Lord Mask gave her a forced smile. Was he trying to throw her off by smiling? For a moment, Alice was cautious about that possibility.
“It’s time for tea. Well then, I bid you adieu.”
He disappeared.
It happened in an instant, right before Alice’s eyes.
“Hey! He ran away!”
Lord Mask had a type of astral power that could manipulate space-time.
It seemed that he’d teleported himself away. The meeting he was supposedly going to had likely been a lie. He must have wandered into the hall specifically to find out what Alice and the others were doing.
“He knows exactly how to push a person’s buttons…”
Regardless, the inspections were going well.
Though he had escaped her, Alice was confident in her skills as an inspector after encountering Lord Mask.
“All right, who’s next?!”
“So this is where you’ve been, Lady Alice.”
“Oh, Rin.”
Alice was raring to go, when none other than Rin, her attendant, appeared before her.
“What’s wrong, Rin?”
“Why are you asking me that when you were the one who snuck out of your study, Lady Alice? And you still have so much work…hm?”
Rin had caught sight of the metal detector that Alice was holding.
“And now, you’re playing some strange game…”
“It’s not a game. I’m doing official work. Her Majesty asked me to.”
The queen had yet to return from scolding Sisbell. In other words, Alice was in charge of the operation.
It was her responsibility to oversee the situation.
“Rin, come over here,” she said.
“Huh?”
“I’ll do your inspection myself.”
“On me?!”
Rin was flabbergasted.
It was as though she had assumed she was exempt from the screening process.
“Wait, Lady Alice! It’s me! How long have I been serving you? Surely, you could allow me to skip the inspection!”
“No, Rin, there are no exceptions.”
Even Alice had been inspected by her own mother. Not a single person who came through the hall would be an exception to the rule.
“Since you’re my beloved attendant, I’ll personally inspect you. I trust you that much.”
“I see…”
“I inspected Shuvalts as well. You’re just as good of an attendant as him, so please do not resist further.”
First, she’d start with the body search. The moment Alice held the metal detector in the vicinity of Rin’s hips, the sensor started to blink bright red.
“It’s going off!”
Alice was flabbergasted.
This was the second time the metal detector had gone off since Lord Mask. She was certain she’d found something.
“Rin! What in the world are you hiding?”
“What? Oh, this is…”
“So it’s under your skirt!”
“Wait, Lady Alice?!”
Alice ignored Rin, who attempted to stop her, and reached under Rin’s skirt.
“Ouch?!” she cried out when a sharp metal needle pierced her finger.
“I was trying to warn you…” Rin sighed as she pulled up her skirt.
She revealed knives, needles, wires, and all sorts of other things that would have set off the metal detector.
“As your guard, they’re necessary for my work. This is the bare minimum I walk around with to fulfill my duties.”
“It completely escaped my mind…”
Alice’d had a lapse in judgment. After dealing with Lord Mask, she’d gotten ahead of herself and forgotten she was dealing with Rin.
“Right, right. Of course the metal detector would go off for you.”
“As long as you’ve realized that… Well then, I’ll be going—”
“Wait a second.” As Rin tried to leave, Alice called her back in a chilling voice. “Rin, that’s not like you.”
“What?”
“Normally, you would insist on working with me.”
But Rin hadn’t done that this time. Instead, she’d tried to walk right out of the hall as quickly as could be. Just like Sisbell had.
“Rin, could you show me the inside of your bag?”
“Y-you mean this?!”
Rin was clearly flustered. Alice had actually felt something was off from the start because Rin had been clutching her bag—something she never did.
“There’s nothing in here! It’s just my things!”
“That’s exactly what we need to inspect. Let’s begin!”
“Wha?!”
Alice snatched the purse from Rin. Then she started looking through the bag without letting Rin get a word in. What she saw was entirely unexpected.
It was milk. As well as almonds and chopped cabbage.
…And a cryptic hand-written note that was labeled, “Growth Recipe.”
“Th-that’s…just my lunch! I brought whatever I had in my fridge!” Rin said in a panic.
However, Alice was more interested in the recipe than the ingredients.
What was she growing? Why milk, almonds, and cabbage? And why was Rin panicking so much? The only conclusion Alice could draw from all of this was…
“You didn’t!” Suddenly, an answer appeared in Alice’s mind like a spark. “All of these things supposedly help with developing a bigger bust size! And this says ‘growth’! Rin, you’re not trying to increase your bust size, are you…? Wait, Rin! Where did you go?!”
“Waaaah!”
Rin had taken off running. Her face was as red as a cherry as she went.
“No, I’m not! I’m not! It’s a friend’s!”
“Rin! Then why are you running?!”
“Why, Lady Aliiiice!”
And with that, the Sovereignty’s surprise inspection came to a close after catching one offender and one poor girl off guard.
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