2
Several days later…
Far away from the Sovereignty, in a land called the Empire, certain events were unfolding.
“Wait, Isk. Stop right there.”
“What is it, Ms. Risya?”
“Ha-ha, we’re inspecting everyone’s belongings right now.”
“…Come again?” When Risya suddenly called out to him, Iska had paused on the spot. “What do you mean?”
This was the third base of the Imperial forces. To Iska, who was an Imperial soldier, the place was so familiar, it was like his own backyard. That day, he’d sensed something was off as soon as he’d neared the entrance.
“Just look around, Isk. The line for the inspection is right over there.”
“Actually, now that you mention it…”
The entrance to the base had seemed crowded. He’d wondered what could have been happening, but he never would have guessed this was the reason for the gridlock.
“Ms. Risya? Why are you suddenly inspecting everyone’s belongings?” Iska asked.
“Hee-hee. It’s a surprise inspection. Doesn’t that make things more interesting?”
Risya pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and smiled mischievously.
Risya was the Saint Disciple of the fifth seat and the adviser to the Lord. She knew Iska because he had once been a Saint Disciple, too.
“We decided it during a meeting at HQ. Because the Imperial forces haven’t been disciplined lately.”
“Really?”
“Participation is mandatory for all soldiers in the base. So, put your bag on the desk and stand up straight right here.”
Iska did as he was told.
Risya approached with the metal detector.
“Hm. Nothing, huh? Well, that’s a letdown. You really don’t have anything hidden on you, Isk?”
“I think it’d cause problems if I was hiding something…”
“Your body search is done. Next, I’ll check your personal belongings.”
Risya opened the bag as if it was her own. She peered inside.
“Huh? You don’t have anything suspicious here at all?”
“Why does it sound like you were expecting something…?”
“Not even a lewd book?”
“Of course not!”
“…Oh?” Risya’s voice took on a different tone.
She pulled a handkerchief out of the bag.
“Now that’s unexpected. This is quite the fancy-looking handkerchief you’ve got here.”
“Th-that’s just—!” His voice broke.
“Hm? What’s wrong, Isk? Your voice sounded cute there for a sec.”
“I-it’s nothing…”
All Iska could manage was to avert his eyes from Risya.
It looked like a perfectly ordinary handkerchief. It was expensive, just like Risya had said, but she wouldn’t be able to recognize what it really was.
At least, he hoped.
“Mm?”
“…”
“Well, nothing seems to be amiss. It doesn’t look like you are carrying anything inappropriate.”
Risya gave him his handkerchief and bag back.
“Thanks, Isk.”
“…Whew.”
“Oh? Were you that worried?”
“N-no! Not at all! I was sure that you wouldn’t find any issues! Ah…ah-ha-ha…”
He quickly put the handkerchief back into his bag. Or to be accurate, he hid it away again.
……Wow, that was close.
……I can’t believe she found it. Ms. Risya is really smart, so I was worried she’d realize what it was.
Risya had found the expensive handkerchief.
Iska hadn’t bought it himself. His rival—the Ice Calamity Witch Alice—had given it to him to pay him back. It was technically an item from the Sovereignty, so if anyone had discovered that, he would have been in a world of trouble.
“That really had me on edge…”
“Isk.”
“Y-yes, Risya?!”
“So, about this inspection. It takes a very long time to inspect every single soldier.” Risya let out an exasperated sigh. “Can you help me out?”
“With the inspections?”
“That’s right. It’s a whole lotta fun. Last year was pretty ridiculous.” A wicked smile formed on Risya’s face. “Things just kept turning up, and you wouldn’t believe what we found.”
“What sorts of things…?”
“Someone from HQ upper management said if I kept quiet about it, they’d pay me a twenty percent higher bonus that year. I was living it up.”
“What’s the point if you let them get away with it?!”
“Oh, it’s fine. So anyway, you’re in charge now, Isk.”
“Only until morning exercises, though…”
Iska took the metal detector and headed into the inspection tent. He saw a face he recognized.
“Huh? Jhin?”
“Hm? Oh, it’s you, Iska.”
It was Jhin, the silver-haired sniper. He was in Unit 907, just like Iska, and had also just entered the inspection tent.
“Are you on inspection duty?” Jhin asked.
“Ms. Risya asked me for help, or rather…forced me into it.”
“Right, thought so.”
Jhin placed his bag on the desk. Iska didn’t need to be told to open it.
“There you go.”
“Nothing strange in here…”
“Yeah, that’s a no-brainer. What kind of person would bring something suspicious into the base, anyway?” Jhin let out a sigh.
He also passed the metal detector test, then gallantly exited the tent.
“See ya, Iska. Make sure you come back before morning exercises.”
“Got it. And make sure to take care of Commander Mismis and Nene.”
After that, Iska heard something from behind him.
A flurry of footsteps approached.
“Ahhhhh?! Wh-what are you doing, Risya?!” someone cried out.
“Everything’s fine. We’re just doing a teensy little inspection.”
Risya entered the tent, dragging someone in behind her. It was a petite soldier wearing a backpack.
“Commander Mismis?!”
“Help me, Iska!” Commander Mismis waved her hands with all she had when she spotted him. “Risya is trying to kidnap me!”
“I just called you over because I happened to spot you walking by. And then you tried to run from me.”
“Urgh…” Mismis, who had been dragged over, finally gave up and put her bag down. “I-I’m telling you I don’t have anything!”
“Oh? First, I’ll start with a body search. Oh, Isk, check Mismis’s bag, would you?”
“There’s nothing in there!” Mismis shouted.
“Well, that’s something we get to find out for ourselves. Hm, right… Nothing from the metal detector.”
That should have cleared up any doubts. However, Risya still seemed unsatisfied and crossed her arms distrustfully.
“Isk, how are things over there?”
“Nothing odd.”
Iska was looking through Mismis’s things. He hadn’t found anything suspicious even after digging through each pocket.
“Great job, Commander. I feel proud to work under someone who’s so perfectly disciplined.”
“What? Ah-ah-ha-ha… Y-yeah. I’m a commander, after all…” Commander Mismis was being evasive, for some reason. She couldn’t seem to meet Iska’s eyes, and she immediately turned away from him to leave once she had her backpack.
“Th-then, I’ll head out. Back to work, Iska—,” Mismis said.
“Please, wait.”
“Eek!”
“You look so scared, Mismis.” Risya’s eyes glinted. “Say…are you sure you’re not hiding something?”
“I’m not! Iska didn’t find anything when he did his inspection!”
“Hmm, really?” Risya opened the backpack and peeked inside. “Your packed lunch, a change of clothes, and a canteen. I see. There’s nothing suspicious at first glance.”
“That’s what I said—”
“Then, how about this?” Risya reached in and pulled out the canteen. “I wonder what this could be?”
“Th-that’s!” Commander Mismis went pale. Her adorable face froze up. “I-it’s just a canteen. You can see that. It’s just got a protein shake in it for after training!”
“A protein shake, huh?”
Risya pulled off the cap of the canteen. Then she poured its contents into a clear glass.
“Huh?!”
Iska couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
It wasn’t a protein shake at all. The brown, glistening liquid gooped out of the canteen. Iska couldn’t quite place what it was right away.
However…
“Hm? Wait, this couldn’t be…!”
It was as if a light bulb had flicked on above Iska’s head.
He caught a whiff of a sweet-and-sour scent from the liquid. It was something everyone had probably eaten with a meal at least once.
“Is that barbecue sauce?!”
“Urk!”
Oh, shoot! They could practically hear Commander Mismis shout her thoughts out loud.
“Iska, calm down! This is just a protein shake!” she insisted.
“But the color and smell are just like…”
“Protein shakes can come in chocolate and yogurt flavor, too. This is just barbecue-sauce-flavored!”
“What?!”
“You should have faith in me, Iska! I’m your boss!” Commander Mismis placed her hand against her chest. Her eyes glistened as she looked up at him. “Do you think I would betray you, one of my own, Iska?”
“No.”
“Do I seem like the type of boss who would sneakily have barbecues every night?!”
“Actually, yes.”
“What, Iska?!”
“Heh-heh-heh.” Risya took a firm hold of Mismis’s shoulders and gave her a daring smile. “We’ve finally caught the culprit.”
“Risya?!”
“Lately, we’ve been discovering small fires of unknown origin on the base’s grounds. I never imagined someone would be having barbecues on the lawn, where flames are prohibited.”
“I’m so sorry!” Commander Mismis shouted behind her as she made a run for it, leaving the sauce behind.
“Geez… When I saw the charcoal scattered around, the thought did occur to me. So it really was you, then.”
Risya sighed. She went after Mismis, who had dashed out of the tent.
“Oh?” Risya called out to a red-haired girl who was passing by. “Nene, is that you?”
“Huh? What is it, Ms. Risya? And you’re here too, Iska Big Bro?”
Nene turned around.
Jhin, Commander Mismis, and Nene were all part of Unit 907.
“Nene, we’re doing a surprise inspection of everyone’s belongings. Could we check yours, too?”
“What?!” Nene flinched.
She always seemed so innocent, which made her reaction seem strange to Iska.
“Um, so, Ms. Risya, I just have a little thing I’ve gotta do. So if you could let me go through the inspection after I go to the meeting room…,” Nene said.
“Nope! Now, put your bag down right here on the table.”
Risya had caught Nene. Apparently, one of Risya’s underlings had gone in pursuit of Commander Mismis.
“Let’s see what we find in here.” Risya looked positively gleeful as she peered into the backpack. “A screwdriver, electric drill, saw, file, and wood filler?”
“Th-they’re just tools. See, Ms. Risya? Nothing suspicious.”
“Hmm…” Risya nodded as she scrutinized the items in the backpack. “I don’t see anything contraband in here. You’ve always been an exemplary person, so I guess we could give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“…Huh? What’s this?” Iska interrupted Risya.
At the bottom of the bag…
…he had spotted a zipper. It practically screamed hidden compartment.
“A double bottom…”
“Aghhh!” Nene screamed. “You can’t, Iska Big Bro!”
She was too slow. When Risya realized what Iska had discovered, she opened the zipper and pulled out what had been hidden underneath.
It was…
“Oh, a magazine?”
She’d found a strange, thin book with a flashy pink cover.
“Ms. Risya, Iska Big Bro…I-I can explain…”
“The monthly Maiden’s Bible? I’ve never heard of this magazine before. Let’s see. Is this a romance story? Let’s look at it together, Isk.”
Risya opened a page to read and started skimming the novel section.
Iska froze.
“…‘Sh-she drugged him with a sedative…and once he was unconscious…t-took him to the bed’…Uh, ahhh…”
“No! Don’t! You can’t read that!”
“The youth these days sure are reading some interesting stuff.”
“Please no, Ms. Risya!”
It wasn’t just any romance novel. Both Iska and Risya were blushing bright red from shock.
“Nene…my little innocent Nene…is reading this adult book!”
“No, Ms. Risya!”
“And it says right here only those eighteen and above can buy it. This doesn’t fall within military guidelines, but I don’t think you should be doing this…”
“It’s not like that!” Nene hollered. Her voice was loud enough to echo throughout the tent. “It’s, um…a book my friend loaned me…and…waaaaah!”
Then she ran off.
“This is your fault, Iska Big Bro!” she called out.
“Why me?!”
Iska hadn’t meant to do anything bad. He’d just found the double bottom and pointed it out. He hadn’t expected something like that to be in it.
“I feel like I did something horrible to Nene…,” he said.
“It’s okay, Isk. Even if you’ve unearthed a young lady’s secret, it was all done to uphold discipline within the—”
Risya was never able to finish.
A commotion ran through the tent, then it went quiet. The force members who had been chatting quickly clammed up and fell into order.
“Hey, don’t mind me.”
“An inspection? Ridiculous. Why would you subject us to this? What idiot came up with the idea?”
A motley pair had entered the tent. The man and woman were clearly on an entirely different level from the tense rank-and-file soldiers.
“Ah-ha-ha. Look, Names, you’re gonna get it for every single knife that metal detector picks up.”
One of them was a feral-looking, petite female soldier who was snacking on cookies. She was Mei, the Saint Disciple of the third seat. And next to her was…
“…………”
“Oh? Did I hit too close to home, Names?”
“I’m simply appalled you would truly think that my knives could be caught by any metal detectors.”
The other person was a man wearing a gray suit that covered him from head to toe. He was Saint Disciple of the eighth seat, Nameless. The man was part of the clandestine unit and supposedly boasted the greatest physical abilities in the forces. The odd pair were part of the upper brass and were charged with protecting the Lord.
“This way, you two.” While the other soldiers shrank around them, Risya welcomed the two with a radiant smile. “Please set your things down there.”
“There ya go.” Mei tossed the leather bag slung over her shoulder onto the table with a thump.
Meanwhile, Nameless said, “Does it look like I’m carrying anything?”
He appeared empty-handed. This was his way of saying he didn’t have anything suspicious on his person, but it also meant he didn’t have the many necessary items required of a soldier, which wasn’t good, either.
“Oh? But what about your documents for meetings, Nameless? We have a meeting with Their Excellency today.”
“I memorized everything.”
Nameless was indifferent toward Risya’s critique.
“Hmm, all right then. Next, we’ll… Wait, Ms. Mei?! What is this?” Risya yelled as she opened Mei’s bag. “There’s nothing in here!”
“What? There are jerky and cookies.”
“Where did your meeting documents go? Did you memorize them like Namele—”
“No way.”
“Then bring your documents with you!”
“Let’s sit next to each other for this meeting, Risya.”
“So you’re planning on looking at my documents…” Risya sighed loudly.
If Mei had been lower in rank, Risya would have scolded the other soldier, but they were both Saint Disciples.
“Well, fine… I’m not the one who’ll get in trouble. Okay, you two go in. I’m busy, you know.”
“You’re the one who stopped us.” Nameless let out a sigh.
“See ya!” Mei wandered off.
They both had very strong personalities, which seemed fitting for Saint Disciples.
“Whew… Guess this is the last one.” Risya wiped her forehead. “Okay, Isk, let’s get back to our regular duties.”
“Morning exercises should be starting soon. I have my training, and you have your meetings, right, Ms. Risya?”
The Imperial forces were starting their daily routine. Most of the soldiers had gone to work already. No matter how long Iska and Risya waited at the base’s entrance, no new arrivals came through. Or so they both thought.
“Haah… Haah… I’ve completely miscalculated! I can’t believe both my alarms broke at the same time!” A petite female commander was running in, completely out of breath. “I, Pilie, have made the greatest mistake of my life. I can’t believe I’m late due to sleeping in.”
“Commander Pilie?”
“Oh, it’s P.”
Iska and Risya both called out to her when they saw her.
Commander Pilie Commonsense. Though she had soft black hair and looked put-together, she secretly had a terrifying amount of ambition and wanted to scale the social ladder. It was common knowledge that she saw Commander Mismis as a rival in all aspects of their lives.
“P, over here.”
“Risya?!” Pilie’s eyes glittered when she turned toward Risya. “Good morning, Risya! If you’re speaking to me…does that mean you’ve finally decided to recommend me to headquarters?!”
“No, not at all.”
“Oh…I see. But even if you aren’t, you’re wonderful, Risya. What is it that you need?”
She stopped to stare at something next to Risya. She was looking at Iska.
“Hm? Aren’t you one of Mismis’s? I’m in a hurry to get to morning exercises, you know. If you need something—”
“We’re inspecting everyone’s personal belongings.”
“…Come again?”
“Headquarters has asked us to do a body search and bag inspection of everyone in the base. You’re our last one.”
“A-an inspection?!”
She jumped, or rather, she flinched back with such intensity that her beautiful hair turned into a bird’s nest.
“N-no thank you!”
“Commander Pilie?”
“Don’t come near me, you crony of Mismis! Someone as upright and honorable as me would never have anything suspicious on her person!”
“Yes, of course. So we’d just like to confirm that with an inspection…”
“You pervert!”
“Pervert?!”
“I-if you lay a hand on me, I’ll scream! Then everyone will know you’re a deviant for the rest of your lif—”
“P?” Risya firmly gripped Commander Pilie’s shoulders from behind. “You seem pretty flustered right now. I think that means doing an inspection will be worthwhile.”
“Risya?!” Pilie said.
“Okay, Isk, open up P’s bag.”
“Nooo! St-st-stop! Don’t you dare put a finger on my—mrph?!”
“Shush, P.” Risya was holding Pilie back and covering her mouth. “Do it, Isk!”
“Got it.”
The bag looked like it was from a luxury brand, which seemed too fancy to bring into an Imperial base. Iska opened it and started pulling everything out, one object at a time.
“Ms. Risya, it’s a foldable umbrella.”
“That’s fine. Okay, next.”
“A change of clothes for exercises.”
“Okay, next.”
“A sports drink.”
“Okay, next.”
“An electronic notepad.”
“Uh!” Pilie gulped.
Risya noted the commander’s slight distress.
“That’s it! Isk, that seems suspicious. Inspect what’s on it!”
“Okay. Oh, but I can’t. It starts up, but there’s a lock screen.”
“Well, P will give us the password. Won’t you, P?”
“…” Pilie was silent. After a while, she said, “I-I forgot it…”
“Feigning ignorance, are we? All right, then. We’ll work through the combinations. Isk, try 0909.”
“What’s that?”
“P’s birthday.”
“Oh, it unlocked.”
“Oh noooo!” Pilie’s scream echoed all around.
Several hundred lines of what was titled Commander Pilie’s “diary” showed up on the screen.
“Isk, read it aloud.”
“Uhh… ‘I went shopping at the capital’s department store today. Staff officer A from headquarters appears to prefer wine over sweets. They’re old and can’t taste much, so anything expensive will work fine. Female manager B just had a baby last year, so I’ll prepare a stuffed animal as a gift. This will get me top marks in the next evaluation for sure.’ Wait, she’s bribing everyone!”
She was trying to get on the good side of management through gifts. It was obvious she was trying to improve her assessment scores.
“Ms. Risya, this seems like a problem…”
“Keep reading, Isk.”
“All right. ‘But the one to target is obviously the Saint Disciple Risya. I need to kick Mismis off her pedestal and become her favorite. I’m sure that I’ll get into headquarters this year.’ …Wow…”
“P? You were really going to use me like that?”
“No, I wasn’t! I wasn’t!” Pilie started wrenching herself out of Risya’s grip. “This is all a misunderstanding! It was the work of a hacker, obviously. Someone got into my notes and changed them!”
“Who would do that? Let’s get this reported to headquarters…”
“Nooo!”
Commander Pilie was dragged off by some underlings. She would probably be scolded by headquarters and forced to write an apology.
“Well, looks like the last one was the biggest catch.”
Risya crossed her arms, looking content. She had a giant smile on her face as though she’d accomplished something momentous.
“It’s so nice doing the right thing… Oh, wait?” Risya blinked in surprise.
At some point, she had been apprehended on both sides by the arms.
“Nameless? Ms. Mei?” she said.
It was the two Saint Disciples. Though they’d left the tent earlier, they’d returned.
“Um, what are you doing…?”
“Well, Risya…”
“There is one last person who hasn’t gotten an inspection yet.”
Iska observed dumbfoundedly from the sidelines. Though Risya hadn’t had a worry in the world until that moment, now her eyes opened wide.
“You can’t be serious?!”
“Yes. We still need to do your inspection, Risya.”
“You didn’t think you’d get out of it after inspecting us, did you?”
While Nameless had Risya apprehended, Mei held up Risya’s standard-issue bag.
“That’s my…?!”
“I brought it from your locker room, Risya. Well, let’s take a look inside.”
“N-no, Ms. Mei?! That bag has a huge secret in it! There are very important documents only me and Their Excellency are allowed to seeeee!”
“Huh?” Mei turned around. She was holding a can of beer that she’d pulled out of the bag. “Hey, Risya, is that documentation you’re talking about this cold can of beer?”
“Th-that’s not…”
“Looks like there’s more.”
Mei turned the bag upside down. Cans of beer clattered out one after another. Risya didn’t have just one or two in there.
“Aghhh!” Risya screamed.
It was too late to try to pick them up. Everyone in the tent, Iska included, had witnessed it all.
“Drinking on the job, Risya?”
“That looks like a breach of guidelines to me. What would Their Excellency think?”
“I-it’s not what it looks like!” Risya shook her furtively. “This is, um… Someone obviously stuffed beer cans into my bag! Right, Isk?”
“…”
“Um? Huh?” Risya said.
“I’m not sure what to say…”
“Isk?!”
“Then it’s settled.”
Ka-chak. Nameless handcuffed Risya.
“You can give your excuses to headquarters.”
“Let’s get going, Risya. You’re such a dummy. Soda’s a million times better than alcohol.”
“Noooo!”
Risya was escorted away by Mei and Nameless.
“I—I—I was just stressed from having to work overtime and never getting a break!”
She disappeared from the tent, and Iska was left all on his own.
“Are the Imperial forces okay…?”
With the inspections only leaving him anxious, Iska sighed deeply.
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