THE COOKIE BAKE-OFF
Something was rocking me back and forth.
I felt a strange force, almost as though my body would be ripped in two. What could it be…?
When I opened my eyes, I found Falfa and Shalsha standing on either side of me, pulling me from side to side as I slept in bed.
But their swaying was out of sync, so they were either scrunching my insides or almost tearing me in half.
“Heave!”
“…Ho.”
“Heave!”
“…H-ho.”
Shalsha was a beat too late!
It’s times like these I see how different they are, even if they do act so much like twins, I thought, but now wasn’t the time to be overwhelmed by emotion.
“That hurts, so stop shaking me!”
“Oh, you’re awake, Mommy!”
“Good, good.”
Falfa beamed, and a slight smile appeared on Shalsha’s lips.
Shalsha was still becoming more expressive by the day. She didn’t used to smile at all.
“You were sleeping for a long time and didn’t wake up, so we got worried and came to get you, Mommy.”
“We already had breakfast. It’s way past time to get up now.”
Seriously? I looked at the clock and, sure enough, it was an hour and a half later than usual.
“Oh, I see… We did just come back from the demons’ castle, after all…”
A lot—a whole heck of a lot—happened at the demons’ castle, so it must have worn me out. I guess I was sleeping soundly now that I was in a familiar bed.
“Whose turn was it to make breakfast today? I don’t think it was mine…”
We all took turns making meals here in the house in the highlands. I had a feeling it was supposed to be Laika’s turn, but wouldn’t she have woken me up properly?
I headed for the dining table and found a mound of cookies placed on it.
Well, more like piled high on it.
Two piles, each on a big plate.
What is this…? There’s enough here to open a bakery… Are we going to have an eating contest…?
“Oh, good morning, Lady Azusa.”
Laika looked exhausted, too, but that was probably mostly due to travel. To be honest, it would be weird if the trip hadn’t worn her out.
“What are these cookies for, Laika? I mean, I wouldn’t mind cookies for breakfast, though.”
There was really nothing wrong with cookies, except that they could dry out your mouth. They seemed rather nutritious anyway.
“Actually, this is—”
A new face popped out from right behind Laika, cutting her off.
“Mistress, please try one of the cookies I made!”
The girl was Flatorte. Unlike Laika, who had only horns, Flatorte also had a tail in her human form, so she stood out like a sore thumb.
“I am sure the cookies I’ve made will be much better than Laika’s!”
Flatorte tried to push her aside, but Laika similarly held her ground.
“Oh no, no. My cookies will be much better, because I am well aware of Lady Azusa’s preferred tastes.”
“Ha! Then she’d tell you they were good just to be polite!”
“How rude of you! That is the most despicable thing about you blue dragons!”
The two gritted their teeth and glared at each other.
Aah, their quarrel gave me the rundown on the situation. Now that I thought about it, they had been talking about having a showdown with sweets on the leviathan on our way home from the demon lands.
Oh. I’d thought they were just getting caught up in the moment, but I guess they actually went through with it.
“Okay. Then I’ll decide whose is the most delicious, fair and square.”
The two nodded, satisfied.
They matched better than you’d expect, didn’t they? They were both dragons, so it wasn’t that weird if they were perfectly in sync.
“Then I’ll get Halkara, Falfa, and Shalsha, and all four of us will decide together whose is the bette—”
“We can’t have that.” “I agree.”
They both refused. They really are in sync.
“I have focused all my energy into baking cookies that you will find delicious, mistress, so I want to see your reaction alone.”
“I, too, have made them to suit your tastes, Lady Azusa. And if all four of you were to act as judges, then there’s a possibility it would end in a draw.”
No matter what the outcome, one of them would end up holding a grudge…
I sat down, and they placed several of each cookie on two plates before me.
In order to keep it fair, I had no way of knowing who baked what.
“I know you will pick mine, mistress!”
“Victory is impossible for you, considering how long Lady Azusa and I have known each other!”
I wanted them to stop fighting, since it would only make it harder to savor the cookies…
Anyway, I started on my late breakfast. If they tasted good, then all would be well.
First, the right-hand plate.
“Ooh, it’s buttery and the texture is very light. It’s not bad at all.”
I ate three in a row. It was a very high-quality cookie.
It would be easy for me to tell who baked it if either of them smiled, so they stood silently with meek expressions.
Next, the one on the left.
“This one has roasted beans mixed in with it. The texture of this one is quite interesting, too. It’s almost like the sweet senbei we had in Japan, where carbonated water was mixed into the dough.”
They were called tansan senbei—a thin, crispy, sweet cracker. I often received them as souvenirs from people who went to Arima hot spring.
“So, Lady Azusa, who is the victor? I believe it is me, of course.”
Laika stood in front of me.
Her comment…made this much harder…
But still, though they both looked like cookies, the concepts were much different than I’d imagined. It was like having trouble giving an answer to the debate of which was better—math or language arts. It was hard to make a choice.
“Now, which is it? I know the winner is me!”
Flatorte confidently stepped before me as well.
Oh no, what to do…? I want to avoid giving an answer that isn’t well thought out, and hurting someone’s feelings… This would be much easier if one of them clearly tasted better than the other…
As I deliberated, the expressions on both their faces were brimming with confidence.
Smug, you could even say.
“This is clearly my victory.”
“It’s mine, Flatorte’s, obviously. I’ve already got my victory shout prepared!”
Don’t both of you announce your win like that!
It’s getting way too hard to choose!
Oh well. They’ve left me with no choice but to use my secret move.
I stood up.
Both of them stared at me.
“And the winner is—both of you, since they were both so delicious!”
It was too hard to pick a winner, so I fled from the choice with all my might!
This is fine! It’s totally fair! I chose the path with the least sadness! And I really was having a hard time making a decision!
“Lady Azusa, you can’t do that…”
“Mistress, you may be as merciless as you please here.”
Neither one was satisfied, after all. No, no, this was no time to be ruthless.
“This extremely haughty individual ought to cry. It would be perfect karma.”
“Excuse me, this individual is acting all high-and-mighty only because she’s lived here for a long time. Could you please shut her up?”
“That’s what I’m saying! It’s almost impossible to choose because both of you keep spouting nonsense like that!”
I wanted them to put themselves in my shoes for a second.
“And even though they’re supposed to be cookies, they’re clearly different concepts. You would have a hard time, too, if you were asked to choose between an omelet or fried chicken, wouldn’t you?”
“I would choose an omelet.”
“As would I.”
That was a bad example.
I knew Laika liked omelets, though. Were there lots of omelet fans among dragons?
Either way, I knew they weren’t happy with a draw, so I thought of a countermeasure.
“Well, why don’t you sell the cookies in Flatta and decide the winner by who sells the most?”
The two stared blankly at me, as though my suggestion was beyond anything they could have expected.
“See, it’s hard for an individual to choose on their own because the flavors are so different, but it’d be easy to come to a conclusion through sales, right? Why don’t you decide the winner that way?”
“If you say so, mistress, then I have no objections.”
“My victory over you will be overwhelming, and I will show you how much more skilled I am!”
Thankfully, I escaped ending up as the bad guy.
And there was another advantage to this method.
Flatorte was now a new member of the family, and I was waiting for an opportunity to introduce her to all of Flatta.
Selling her homemade cookies would make for an excellent first impression.
That day at noon, I went to the village and gained permission from the chief to use an empty building.
However, since many people in the village went shopping in the morning and stayed inside in the afternoon, we decided to hold the competition the following day.
The two also needed to make more to sell, so it worked well with our schedule.
And I’ll take the chance to tell you now that the cookies that were like sweet senbei with roasted beans were Laika’s cookies. They were apparently originally invented in a hot springs area by a volcano, so they might actually have the same origin as the senbei sold around hot springs areas in Japan.
The next day, we opened the Witch’s House cookie shop in Flatta.
But although the shop had only one name, the cookie sales were calculated separately. They were sold by the bag.
“Welcome! These cookies are much more delicious than the ones beside them!”
“Try these cookies! They’re so much more delicious than the ones over there, it would be stupid to compare them!”
Could they at least stop dissing each other while advertising their cookies?
Now I had no responsibilities, so I relaxed and watched on.
By the by, Rosalie the ghost was floating near the sale stand as the referee, making sure that neither of them played any dirty tricks.
I didn’t think either of them would, but she was also there to make sure the loser didn’t accuse the other of an unfair win. They were both sore losers, so it was possible.
“Bohh of ’em rea-hee are goooooood, ’ough.”
Halkara bought one bag of each type of cookie. She was stuffing her face as she talked, so it was hard to understand her.
Falfa and Shalsha were also taking cookies from the bags and munching on them.
“Falfa is so lucky to have more snacks!”
“That’s great, Falfa. They should make some for us more often.”
There were very few people at first, but the people of Flatta tended to flock around any new rumor, so the crowd gradually got thicker.
“Ooh, we get cookies this time from the great Witch’s House?” “Which one should I get? I guess I’ll get both.” “Great, I’ll get one of each, too!”
Both types were flying off the shelves.
And I thought I saw more male customers, despite the product for sale being cookies.
“Laika’s the cutest one, though.” “The new girl’s like a big-sister type. I like it.” “Ooh, you going for her?” “You were always a fan of Halkara, though!”
I see, so they were popular like idols in a way. There were only girls in my house, after all.
But there was also a line of girls acting the same way.
“I’d want Laika to be my little sister.” “She’s way too cunning. I’d want someone like the new girl.” “But doesn’t a tail mean she’s the cunning one?” “I like it, even if it does. I could stroke her tail as her big sister to calm her down.”
The world sure is full of interesting people…
The two were cute, so their popularity wasn’t odd.
In terms of outward appearances, Laika looked like she had just entered middle school. On the other hand, Flatorte looked a little older, somewhere between middle and high school.
From my perspective, it felt like my two little sisters were scrambling for my favor, so it wasn’t all that bad.
“Oh, Madam Teacher, that was a vulgar look on your face just now.”
Ack, Halkara pointed it out. She really didn’t need to see that…
“It’s the same face I make when I’m calculating that month’s sales.”
“Wait, you do it, too?”
“You know, I’d say that the addition of Flatorte was a good incentive for Laika, don’t you think?” Halkara commented as she watched the two sell their cookies.
Of course, she was also in the middle of a match, but Laika’s expression certainly looked livelier than usual.
“You really like to observe, don’t you?”
“I was just thinking that if we added some ground herbs to the dough, we could sell it as a wholesome snack to the health-conscious demographic.”
“For business?!”
But it probably really was good for them to have someone to compete against.
Sometimes people talked about competing against themselves, but that rarely ever happened. It was much more common for people to cut themselves too much slack.
So it was easier if the enemy was an outside force.
I’d just likened them to sisters earlier, and that wasn’t entirely off base.
And by the way, the cookies were being received very well. I heard several comments from the villagers:
“The cookies we bought were so good, my kids told me to go buy some more!” “I gave them a taste test, and I am definitely buying them!”
I knew for sure they would do well when I ate them yesterday.
And just as the last cookie disappeared from Halkara’s bag—
“Well, I’m getting back in line to buy one more bag each.”
“Get two, Big Sister Halkara!”
Falfa announced her demands.
We sure were buying a lot of them ourselves…
The two had made quite a lot, likely because they were so confident, so their product remained on the table into the evening despite how much they were selling.
It was just before nightfall.
The last customer bought one bag each, and the competition was over.
“They both sold out at the same time, too.”
“That doesn’t matter; there’s no point unless they’re competing to see who makes more money. If it was who sold out the fastest, then the one who made the least would be at an advantage.”
They both sold their cookies for three hundred gold per unit. That was about three hundred Japanese yen. The price was the same, so whoever sold the most would also be ahead in amounts of money.
“There was no foul play during the time of sale. I, Rosalie, have kept careful watch.”
Rosalie the judge announced there were no violations of the rules, so we would now start counting revenue.
“I believe I can calculate the fastest, so I will count.”
Halkara quickly lined up the bronze and silver coins as she counted them. As a merchant, she worked very quickly.
The two competitors gulped as they watched on.
“I will not lose. The village of Flatta is counting on me as well.”
“It’s not like they acknowledge you as a professional cookie baker. When it comes to quality, you are no match for the great Flatorte.”
“By the way, was there supposed to be a special benefit for the victor?”
“Now that you mention it, I don’t think we decided on one… Why don’t we pick one now…?”
The two started mumbling about something.
Wouldn’t the loser just get a flick to the forehead at most?
For some reason, a mass of townspeople started to gather by the shop. It seemed like everyone was interested to see who would win.
In the crowd, I could see banners with messages like, GOOD LUCK, FLATORTE! and GLORY IS YOURS, LAIKA! If these people could turn something into a festival, they would do it right away…
“All right, I’ve calculated the revenue. The price for each was the same, so I will announce the number sold.”
When Halkara spoke, everyone looked to her, not just the competing duo.
“First, Laika—three hundred units!”
The townspeople cooed, “Wow!” I was surprised, too. The town’s population was definitely less than three hundred, which meant quite a number of people had bought multiples.
“That many? I hadn’t paid attention to how many I was baking.”
Laika admitted the truth. She had made way too much, thinking about it generally.
“The great Flatorte never thinks about the numbers. I knew a good thing would sell, so I trusted in that.”
Both of them seemed satisfied with how things were turning out.
“And now, for Flatorte.”
Everyone looked to Halkara.
The two competitors obviously couldn’t relax, and they both wore prayerlike expressions.
Who would be the victor?
For some reason, Halkara smiled joyfully just before delivering the answer.
“Can you believe it—three hundred units! Which means it’s a tie!”
Of all things!
That must have been the most entertaining result for the spectators, since there came an excited “Oooohhh!”
It was like a high school baseball match, where both teams’ pitchers were throwing strikeouts and the match had to be rescheduled, since no one was winning!
The two looked at each other.
“What should we do now…?”
“As she said, it’s a tie. It’s just the same as before…”
In a way, I was happy that my conclusion that they were both equal was validated.
I stood between the two and lifted one of each of their arms in the air.
“We have two winners! Please give them a warm cheer and round of applause!” I called, and clapping broke out in response. There was even someone playing a flute.
“And this girl is a new member of my household, Flatorte the blue dragon! Please treat her well!”
There was another cheer.
I could hear things like, “Welcome!” and, “Flatta’s a great place!”
“Oh, mistress, did you actually plan all this…?”
It seemed that Flatorte finally caught on to my plot.
“Indeed. Don’t you think it’s the perfect opportunity for Flatta to accept you?”
I hadn’t thought of too many details for it to be called a “plan,” but my relationship with Flatta had lasted for three hundred years so far. Our bond of trust was strong. So even throwing something together would still bring great results.
Flatorte’s eyes glistened with tears.
“I was worried about starting a new life, but…I knew you were great, mistress… Fantastically great!”
Flatorte hugged me on the spot. It was a powerful embrace, since she was a blue dragon, but my status was unfairly high, so I managed.
“Come now, no need to cry.”
“I will stay with you for the rest of my life, mistress!”
This girl was more of a clingy one than I thought. Maybe she had been used to putting up a strong front before.
“Hey, that’s against the rules! You can’t do that!”
For some reason, Laika protested. She should let the newcomer do what she needed to for now, especially since Flatorte truly felt so anxious.
But something about what she said caught my attention.
“What do you mean, ‘against the rules’?”
“The rule was that the winner of this challenge would be allowed to hug you, Lady Azusa, for ten minutes.”
What? This is the first I’m hearing of this… I did not consent to this…
And that’s too long. Ten minutes is too long.
But there was no doubting that they’d both worked really hard, so afterward, I gave a big hug to Laika, too.
That night, the population density in my bedroom increased a bit. And my bed itself was a little crowded, but what could I do?
Laika and Flatorte were on either side of me.
“Now then, let’s get along when we sleep, like the roman numeral three.”
“The what?”
“I don’t know, either.”
Oh right, I was thinking of my old life. And that would imply we were all the same size.
“All of us sleeping in one bed like this makes us seem like sisters, right? So going by height, I’d be the oldest, Flatorte’s the second oldest, Laika’s the youngest, and all three of us are supposed to get along. Okay?”
“I understand, mistress…” “I will follow your orders, Lady Azusa…”
“Okay then, tonight, we sleep together!”
Feeling blessed, I fell straight to sleep and dreamed of having a delightful cup of tea at a café with my two sisters.
“Yaaawn… I slept so well!”
I had a very pleasant night, but it didn’t seem the two on either side of me did.
“I didn’t sleep a wink…”
“Me neither…”
Apparently, neither of them got to sleep.
“Was the bed too narrow for you…? If it was, then I’m sorry.”
“No… I couldn’t calm myself when I thought about how I was in the same bed as you… And, mistress, you smelled so nice…”
“I was so, so happy, I felt like sleeping would be such a waste of time. So I stayed up…”
Both of them sure were making a big deal out of this.
“If you want, I suppose we could do this once a month or so.”
To be honest, it was easier to do things like this now that Flatorte had joined us.
Up until recently, I wanted a way to draw a clear line somewhere when it came to sleeping with Laika, since I am a woman of age, of course, and even though we were of the same gender.
But with the three of us, it was more like a sleepover, so I felt my resistance lessen.
“Oh really?! Do you really mean that?!”
“You’re overreacting, Flatorte…”
Her tail was whipping to and fro… That thing really had a mind of its own. It was way different from a cat’s tail.
“Indeed. You need to be more, you know, ladylike…”
Laika’s face was bright red, too, as she spoke, though…
Ah, I knew it. The younger sisters both look up to the eldest.
Then, I was surprised to see Laika yawn.
“Once preparations for tomorrow are over, I think I’ll head to bed early tonight…”
“I agree… For once, I agree with you…”
Flatorte seemed pretty sleepy as well.
“Hmm? What preparations for tomorrow?”
I thought I was supposed to be in charge of making food today.
“Lady Azusa, the cookies have proven to be extremely popular, so for the next while, we will be making them every other day.”
That often?!
Oh no. I didn’t think they’d be that well received. It was supposed to be a one-day-only deal.
“And by the way, it seems we’ll be selling in the town of Nascúte tomorrow. We’ll need to prepare today. I didn’t sleep very much, but I’ll do my be— Yaaawn…”
Flatorte gave a big yawn, too.
Feeling somewhat responsible, I decided to help make and sell them.
The day we brought the cookies to town, we sold much more than we had in the village.
Frankly, we made so much money we could live off these cookies.
“Can you imagine if we produced them en masse and sold them throughout the country?” said Halkara. “It’d be amazing!” She sounded like a CEO.
“No. Each individual cookie must be made with love and care, otherwise they won’t be good.”
“Only the great Flatorte can make her magnificent cookies. It won’t taste the same from the hands of another.”
Both of them sounded like professionals.
“Madam Teacher, don’t you think some weird switch has been flipped in them? They are acting like cookie-baking professionals, aren’t they?”
“They sure do look like they have thirty years’ experience…”
From then on, the cookies sold very well. Maybe too well.
We got a request to open up shop in the provincial capital of Vitamei, and after that, more and more people began associating dragons with cookies throughout our province.
And then we returned to Flatta again and for one day sold cookies there.
“Madam Teacher, it really is getting to be too much…” Halkara was staring at the line leading out the front of the shop.
“I know. Say what you will, but they are really getting burnt out…”
Exhaustion was starting to catch up to the two dragons after several days of work in a row.
But the more they made, the more they sold, so they just kept on making.
“We have to stop them sometime, otherwise they’ll collapse… I don’t think dragons die from overwork, though…”
“Yes… We should probably intervene at some point…”
But a little while after opening sales, something strange happened to the air about town. And the clear skies suddenly clouded over.
“Oh dear, I’m getting a chill…”
Halkara started shivering.
I, too, felt an ominous presence.
“Long time no see, Sister.”
The girl with sheep horns on her head was the demon king, Provato Pecora Ariés, also known as Pecora.
Beside her was Beelzebub, holding a parasol above her to protect her from the sun.
There was also Vania the leviathan, holding out another parasol—it was like a matryoshka of parasols.
“Aah! Why did you come here?!”
“I heard this was where those extremely popular cookies were being sold, so I came to have a taste. By way of leviathan.”
Oh! I thought it had suddenly gotten cloudy—that was the leviathan! Since Vania was in human form, then that meant everyone had hitched a ride on her older sister, Fatla.
“There is always trouble when Her Majesty travels, so I really wish we didn’t…” Beelzebub sighed.
“I—I pray this will all go smoothly…” Vania seemed frightened, probably because she was traveling with the demon king.
“Eh-he-he-he, so we should line up, yes? I suppose it wouldn’t be too terrible to join a queue like a commoner every once in a while.”
Pecora then politely went to the end of the line.
But even the most common of commoners seemed to understand the terror of the demon king.
“H-hey… There are demons behind me!” “I thought something was in the air, and turns out it was a giant demon!” “The legendary leviathan!”
The villagers were frightened. Some of them may have been acquainted with Beelzebub, but it seemed the leviathan had a big impact on them.
Then, Pecora spoke to the villagers with a smile.
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance! I am the demon king.”
“It’s the demon king!!!” “It’s the end of the world!!!” “What are we gonna do now?!?!” “O great Witch of the Highlands, please defeat the demon king!!!”
All those waiting turned pale and ran off.
The line shrank to about ten people in an instant.
Or from a different perspective, there were ten whole people who weren’t going to run away?
“Oh, well, now we can make our purchase quickly. Wonderful.”
Pecora seemed excited by her sudden stroke of luck, but I knew her ulterior motives.
“You scared off the villagers to put yourself at the front, didn’t you…? I bet that’s why you came on a leviathan, too.”
“I don’t quite understand what you mean, Sister.”
You sure look like you know what I mean!
This demon king is always up to something…
On the other hand, now with fewer customers, Flatorte and Laika stared on blankly in amazement.
“I think we can carry the rest of the inventory back, but what should we do, Laika…?”
“Oh dear, I don’t know…”
Though Pecora ended up buying all the remaining stock, the cookies now had the reputation of attracting the demon king, so we had significantly less people asking us to make more.
Pecora’s arrival did cause us trouble, but the two were finally freed from a long stretch of work, so I suppose all’s well that ends well.
I was sure we could go into the village once a month or so for a more relaxed little sale.
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