4
After returning to the inn, we recap the events in the castle to the still-restrained chimeras.
“So things have changed. The target we’re going to eliminate is an ex-Kisaragi Corporation leader, the lolicon mutant Tiger Man. No restrictions on methods. Do whatever it takes to eliminate him.”
“Um, I’m sorry Miss Alice, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Um...did he really do something that serious? Maybe there’s a reason behind it?”
The two chimeras appear troubled by our explanation.
“In Kisaragi, you’re executed the moment you do something to children. I know you two like Tiger Man, but you two know what he's like, right?”
“I always thought Tiger Man would cross that line eventually. Just a few weeks ago, he was asking the Kisaragi Corporation’s Legal Counsel whether crimes committed on another planet were actually subject to Earth’s laws.”
Despite our efforts at persuasion, the two who have been thoroughly brainwashed by Tiger Man’s honeyed cunning continue to protest.
“Aren’t you guys Tiger Man’s friends? At least try to have a little more faith in him. Why can’t we settle this by talking it out?”
“That’s right. Whatever else he might be, Tiger Man’s a gentleman when it comes to children. Besides, we don’t stand a chance against him. Russell is right; we should start by trying to talk to him.”
Our opponent is Tiger Man, one of the most powerful of the mutants. Without the help of the chimeras, the odds are definitely against us.
Alice and I swap glances, then exchange nods.
“If you two insist, then I guess we don’t have much choice. Let’s assume that Tiger Man is doing this for a reason and start off by talking to him.”
“Tch, we’re going to try it your way just this once, guys.”
As we shrug in surrender, Rose and Russell smile.
“<—To the sex offender, mutant Tiger Man hiding in the woods! Surender peacefully, and we'll execute you painlessly via lethal injection! If you won’t, we’ll execute you after handing you over to the punishment squadron !>”
Alice spends an hour broadcasting in Japanese over a loudspeaker into the woods near Grunade.
With his sharp ears, Tiger Man should’ve heard her by now...
“Hey, Alice, there’s no sign of him. We should move on to plan B soon.”
“Fair enough. It seems Tiger Man has no intention of engaging in negotiations. We’ve done everything we can. I think we’ve kept our promise to Rose and Russell.”
“Do you two intend to claim that those broadcasts constitute negotiating?”
Since he's not responding to our entreaties, it’s time to shift to a more forceful plan of action.
“So now it’s time for Russell to do some work.”
“Mirunph! Mmmrrmph! Mrrph!”
Russell, who’s been tied up this whole time, starts whining through his gag.
“Lolis are Tiger Man’s weakness. We tried your request to talk to him first. Now it’s time for you guys to listen to our request.”
“Don’t worry, he’ll come. Plan B will work.”
“Phiph iphn't phephophiaphing!”
Russell shakes his head trying to protest, but Alice resumes broadcasting through the loudspeaker.
“<To the fugitive Tiger Man! We currently have the loli chimeras in our custody! If you don't come out now, we’ll force Russell to work in a groping-allowed maid cafe!>”
<Evil Points Acquired>
As I rejoice in my newly acquired Evil Points while sitting next to Alice, Rose backs away a few steps, frowning.
“I don’t know what Miss Alice is saying, but it’s probably nothing good."
“I told you, we’re going to have Russell do some work. We’re just going to make him work in a café. Tiger Man happens to be as possessive of his targets as Mutant Bear Woman...”
Just then:
Something’s thrown at our feet.
I close my eyes, grab Alice, and leap to the side as a loud bang is followed by a bright flash.
“Ack! My eyes!”
Rose screams something, covering her face with both hands and rolling around in pain, but the flash bang’s deafened me, so I can’t make out what she’s saying.
A large object leaps out from the depths of the forest toward us.
From my arms, Alice aims her shotgun and fires as the object heads straight for us.
The object, aka Tiger Man, just covers his face and continues closing in on us, shrugging off the shotgun pellets.
I keep hold of Alice in one arm, while drawing my pistol with the other!
"Don't move!”
<Evil Points Acquired>
I press the barrel into Russell, who thrashes around in his restraints in agony from the stun grenade.
Tiger Man, who’s always had a soft spot for Russell, comes to a halt and murmurs.
“...Mrreow, that’s low. Rrrrussell’s alwaysss cooked and cleaned for you all this trrrime.”
“My ears are ringing so I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
Alice, who’s crawled down from my arms, takes out a single syringe and approaches Tiger Man.
“All right, don’t resist, Tiger Man. I’ll at least make sure you don’t suffer.”
“I’ve always liked your sssspunk, Mreowlice. But execution without even questioning is a bit mrruch.”
As my hearing returns, I glance toward Alice as she sidles toward Tiger Man and ask:
“Tiger Man, why did you do this? What happened to the spirit of ‘yes to Lolitas, no to touching’? At least go out with a bit of dignity at the very end, please.”
“Prrrroperly Kisarrrragi. Coming to kill meeee without meowasking any questions and without hesitation. Before I continue, I swearrr I haven’t done anything illegal to Nyowdia.”
Actually, I’m pretty sure kidnapping is a serious and illegal offense.
“Just what are you lot doing herrrere meoanyway? Whrrat happened to purrrotecting and building the city?”
“We’re here because you screwed up big time, Tiger Man. They hired us to come and hunt down the feline monster. At the very least, can you return the national treasure and the princess you kidnapped?”
Since he seems to have no intention of fighting, I urge him to cooperate, and I holster my pistol, but Tiger Man flatly refuses.
"Nyope!”
Alice silently throws the syringe at him, but Tiger Man easily dodges it.
“Stop being such a pain in the ass, you goddamned pedo! If you don’t want us to call Kisaragi’s punishment squad, at least hand over the damned sorcery stone!”
I know we were told the priority was recovering the national treasure, but why isn't the demand to return Princess Nadia first?
...Just then. Rose, who’s been rolling around on the ground, shakily rises to her feet.
“I...don’t think you’re someone who’d arbitrarily kidnap a girl, Tiger Man. You have a reason for doing this, right?”
“When I went to steal the sorrrrccery sssstone, sshheee looked llllooonely, so I breowught her home with mrreeeow.”
Rose draws in a breath, then blows flames out toward Tiger Man.
As Tiger Man leaps back to avoid the fire, I propose a compromise.
“Tiger Man, listen to me, please. We’re in the middle of competing with the Hiiragi Agency of Order to see who can be the one to bring back the national treasure, so can you just give it to us for the moment?”
“...Right. While I’d prefer to execute you, I’ll settle for that. Once we’ve handed over the national treasure and taken the payment, you can steal it again or do whatever you want.”
I mean, what we’re saying is pretty damned awful, but we are, in the end, an evil corporation.
“I craaan't.”
.......
“Surround him. I’ll order a boatload of those shady syringes and we’ll all throw them at him at once.”
“Crrrralm down and lisssten, Meowlice... I said I crran't, not that I won't... Because...”
Tiger Man produces something that looks like a jewel split in half from his pocket.
"The sorcery stone split when I handled it too rough. Mrr.”
“The hell are you doing?!”
We decide to have a temporary cease-fire to figure out what to do, and we’ve gathered around the pieces of the sorcery stone lying on the ground.
"I tried gluing it together using superglue, but what'll we do about this?”
Alice, having repaired the sorcery stone, gazes intently at it and lightly pokes the spot she glued together.
The sorcery stone in front of us is red in color and about the size of two adult fists.
“At a glance, it doesn’t look like it was ever broken in the first place. Maybe we can just get away with handing it over as it is?”
At that suggestion, Rose raises her hand with a proposal of her own.
“Why don’t we just admit that the sorcery stone broke and prepare a replacement? Look, Russell’s sorcery stone is pretty big since he’s part of the Demon Lord Army’s leadership..
“Mrrrmph! Mrrtn!”
As Russell tries to object through his gag to his fellow chimera’s suggestion, Tiger Man shakes his head.
“From whrrat Nyowdia trrold me, the sorcery strrrone used in Gurrrrnade is special. Rrrrurrrssell’s sorcery stone is a blue water stone, so it prrrobably can’t be used as a substitute.”
Tiger Man’s words seem to jog Rose’s memory about something else.
“Oh that reminds me, Tiger Man. What sort of life is Miss Nadia living right now? I mean, she’s a princess. Isn’t it hard for her to live out in the forest?”
“She’s enjoying life in the trrrrailer home sent frrrom Kisaragi. She's rrrreeally happy with the food from Earrrth, and she was overwhelmed by the luxury desserts.”
Rose lets out a sigh of relief then smiles.
“I see, then that’s a relief... Speaking of which, since she’s a princess, she probably needs an attendant or a bodyguard who’s a woman, doesn’t she? For example, I think I’d make a pretty good candidate.”
“It’s obvrrrrious Rrrrose just wants to eat delicious food. If I werrre to find an attendant, it’d be Rrurrssell, who can do chores.”
A look of resignation comes to Russell’s face as Tiger Man pulls the restrained chimera closer.
Just then...
“That’s enough!”
Adelie appears in a flash of blue-white light, her foot emitting an energy aura as she unleashes a jump kick against Tiger Man. She appeared out of thin air. Her armor must be equipped with optical camo.
Adelie’s sneak attack appeared impossible to avoid, but Tiger Man somehow manages to block it by holding an object out as a shield.
With her sneak attack foiled, Adelie jumps backward and points her index finger accusingly at Tiger Man.
“Vile monster who kidnapped a young girl and is now trying to kidnap a young boy! I, Adelheid the Dark Gray Savior, Apostle of the Hiiragi Agency of Order, will fight you!”
I thought she might have listened in on our conversation while cloaked, but based on her attitude, it seems she’s not aware of our relationship with Tiger Man.
“What the heck are you doing? Self-proclaimed heroes shouldn’t be doing sneak attacks.”
“Saving lives matters more than being honorable. I’ll happily be called a knave if it means it saves a boy's life.”
Adelie’s bright smile is like a breath of fresh air... but everyone’s attention is focused on something else...
“Oh, the sorcery stone’s in tiny pieces now.”
Adelie freezes at Rose's soft murmur.
"...No, you have the wrong idea. I was just trying to save the boy being held by the monster.”
Oh, I see, she seems to think Tiger Man’s the one who tied up Russell.
Well, true, Russell being tied up with metal wire and gagged looks all sorts of criminal, but...
“<Hey, Six. Who the hell is thrrris woman who appuurrred out of nowhere and shattered the sorcery strrone?>” Tiger Man asks in Japanese, but we can’t have her learning that he’s affiliated with Kisaragi.
As I struggle to figure out how to respond, Alice speaks up.
“We can punish Adelie later. Six, stun that feline monster with a flash bang.”
“Got it. Monsters are vulnerable to loud noises and light. Hell, it might even be spooked off by the bang.”
“<So you’re saying I should flee into the woods when Srrrix throws the grrrrrenade?>” Tiger Man murmurs in Japanese while Alice and I talk to each other as though he can’t understand human speech.
“I’ve heard this monster is strong, but maybe the two of us can take it down together? It’s better to finish it off here than to scare it away and have it run back into the woods...”
As Adelie tries to put a dent in our plans, Tiger Man holds up Russell threateningly.
“Damn, with Russell as his hostage, we can’t afford to attack him!”
“Oh... Oh no. If I attack the monster, something terrible might happen to Russell..
“Are you telling us to sacrifice Russell?! Adelie, I thought you were better than that!”
Adelie hurriedly shakes her head in response to our bluffing.
“N-no, that’s not it! Yes, we need to prioritize the boy’s life! Okay! Let’s go with your plan!”
I throw the flash bang before I even finish hearing Adelie’s reply!
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