Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 7 - Chapter 3.3

3

Alice and I stand in front of the conference room door in the Grunade Palace before I kick open the door and stomp our way inside.

“All right! Come on out, Adelie! What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Pbbt!”

As we barge into the conference room, Adelie suddenly spews the tea she was drinking across the place.

Inside, a silver-haired young man who was discussing something with her sits frozen in shock, while the knights guarding him place their hands on the hilts of their swords, ready to deal with any potential threats.

“Agentsix?! W-what are YOU doing here?!”

Adelie wipes the tea from her chin with a handkerchief and stands up.

“We’re Combat Agents, so it should be obvious. We’ve been hired to go retrieve the national treasure that’s been taken by the feline monster.”

“We can ask the same of you. This your next conquest after Torace? The princess mentioned you and all the dark rumors surrounding your arrival.”

Adelie hurriedly responds in a panic to our sudden accusations.

“T-that's not it at all! Since we were about to be blamed for the feline monster stealing the sorcery stone, I came here to prove our innocence!”

“T-that's right! When our messenger communicated the precarious state of Grunade due to the theft of the treasure. Dame Adelheid volunteered to come and help retrieve the national treasure from the monster! For some reason, my elder sister Lydia believes I’m behind the theft, but I swear that it isn’t me!”

The one who follows up on Adelie’s testimony is the young man who was discussing something with her.

This must be Lydia’s younger brother.

“But, Your Highness. She was responsible for all sorts of villainy in the Grace Kingdom. She claimed she was a servant of justice and started enforcing laws as a vigilante. And because she let a giant feline monster loose, our virtuous superior was badly injured.”

“Yep, and we’re told your second princess has been kidnapped. That woman there has a history of trying to kidnap a boy.”

Hearing our accusations, the prince looks worriedly up at Adelie.

"...Dame Adelheid?”

“N-n-n-n-no, that’s...! Well, it’s true, but it’s not true! Yes, what they’re saying is true, but there’s a deep reason behind all of it!”

We know better than anyone that she’s actually innocent.

“Hey, Miss Adelie of the long rap sheet! You seem pretty cozy with the prince’s supporters, but this is what we call good old-fashioned political meddling!”

“Careful, Your Highness. They’ve got a history of knocking off royals. Just look at what they did to Torace. The moment you’re on the throne, they’re probably going to start demanding payment for their support.”

"..."

“Please wait, Prince Madia! Don’t go all quiet on me! You were the one who sent a messenger to our agency regarding the feline monster! We had no idea that anything like that had happened until you sent us your message! You can use the lie detector crystal on me if you wish!”

At Adelie’s plea, the prince—Madia—seems to return to his senses.

“T-that’s right. According to the messenger who met with Dame Adelheid, she acted with utter shock, as though the news had hit her like a bolt from the blue...”

“They can say whatever they want. And it’s pretty easy to fool lie detectors. There’s plenty of ways for them to play dumb if they want to.”

Alice continues to stir the pot, prompting Adelie to produce an object and place it on the table.

“Hiiragi Agency of Order Crystal Series number two! The crystal of truth!”

I poke the crystal ball Adelie put on the table, making it roll around.

“I’ve seen something like this before. I remember seeing a magic device that would chime ding-dong when someone lied.”

“I’ll explain, so listen to me! This works on the same principles as the karma-measuring orb. If the words are false, the crystal ball turns black. I’ll try it out first, so you try lying!”

Desperate to convince the prince that she’s telling the truth, Adelie enthusiastically places her hand on the orb.

“Please believe me, Your Highness. I have no involvement with the monster that took your national treasure. And I really am here to prove my innocence.”

As Adelie makes her earnest declaration while looking the prince in the eye, the orb begins to glow a bright white.

“Dame Adelheid...you’ve done enough. I will trust you. Ahm... While I appreciate you two coming to warn me...”

Before the prince can finish, Alice and I put our hands on the orb.

“I'm actually a modified human from a really distant planet here to invade and conquer this world.”

“I’m something like a golem created by the hand of a human being and I'm not even human. If I take heavy damage, I’ll self-destruct and reduce the area round me into a burnt-out wasteland, so be careful how you handle me.”

At our ridiculous statements, the orb continues to shine brightly.

“...Y-you two... You’re not lying... Is that the truth...?”

Seeing the orb shimmering, Adelie and the prince gulp down a breath.

“Despite the fact that I'm supposed to be on a mission to save all of humanity, I’m just a rank-and- file employee on a super-low salary being used and abused. What I’m really good at is stuffing peanuts into my nose, then blowing them right where I'm aiming.”

“My special skill is calculating pi to the eighty- trillionth place within a minute. Among the members sent to invade this planet is a weirdo who tries to poop in a princess’s room and. when sent on an infiltration mission, takes a bath in the enemy commander's room and relaxes in their bedroom..

“Dame Adelheid, this orb is broken.”

“Th-that’s not it. They’re probably telling the truth... No, that’s impossible, isn’t it? I’m sorry!” 
With doubt cast on the orb’s effectiveness, Adelie looks on the verge of tears as she pleads her case.

As the prince gazes at Adelia with skepticism, she shoots a pleading glance over at us for help.

Evidently struck by Adelie’s entreating look, Alice sighs and responds.

“Hey, Adelie, where I come from, there’s a saying that the just always win. Given that you love to wail on and on about justice, if you really are a servant of justice, prove it by beating us. Whoever takes back the national treasure from the feline monster is the winner and righteous. It’s nice in its simplicity, isn't it?”

“...I see. We’ll face off to prove who’s right! I like it! I really like it!”

Alice’s proposal is the sort of thing that’s common in shonen manga series, but it seems to have struck a chord with Adelie as well.

“I’m sure you’ve got terms you want fulfilled if you win, right? Awful, scandalous terms that I can’t possibly accept, maybe something gross or filthy...!”

Adelie hugs herself and backs away.

“Then...when we win, can we judge you to be evil and execute you?”

“Of course not! Can’t you come up with something a little nicer?!”

Alice chimes in, sounding like a villain trying to force unreasonable terms on the main character.