Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 6 - Chapter 4.3

3

“Retreat! Retreeeat!”

The sorry excuse for a knight commander is back in less than five minutes.

As events unfold like a joke with a quick punch line, I murmur in exasperation to Alice.

“…Hey, Alice, can you believe it? That pathetic woman is technically a Combat Agent recruit.”

“If you find yourself outmatched, it’s important to know when to retreat… Though as a Combat Agent, well, yes, it is beyond pathetic…”

Having been swept aside by the giant monster, the royal army’s soldiers flee in a disorganized mass.

Snow somehow manages to get them back under her control as she gallops toward us.

“Hey, Six, what are you doing?! You have to help us fight the monster!”

As Snow shouts at us, I see that she is covered in mud.

…I then direct my attention to the giant monster going on a rampage off in the distance.

“You call that a monster…but that’s clearly a house cat.”

Yes, a cat.

While it is far, far larger than normal, it is definitely a white house cat.

Alice claps her hands together in recognition as she marvels at the giant cat.

“Ah-ha. So that’s the tiger monster that the scouting party reports mentioned was defending Toris.”

“That’s not a tiger, that’s definitely a cat. The way it’s pawing at the soldiers makes it seem like it’s trying to play with them.”

It looks like its natural instincts are set off by the sight of the fleeing soldiers, creating the bizarre scene unfolding before us.

Stepping on the back of a soldier with its front paw, the cat cries out triumphantly, “Meoooow!”

“See! It said meow! That’s definitely a cat!”

Snow then verbally lashed out at me.

“I don’t care if it’s a cat or a tiger, we’re going to go kill it! For some reason, like the Sand King, projectile weapons don’t work on it!”

“Aw, really…?”

The Sand King that we defeated a while ago seemed to be protected by the mysterious powers unique to this world, and as a result, gunfire and other projectiles didn’t work on it.

Taking a closer look, the various siege weapons the soldiers are using are able to hit it, but none of them seem to be doing anything meaningful.

Meaning that the anti-rifle I am carrying won’t do anything, either…

“Melee combat against something that big? Are you freaking kidding me? Besides, I can’t imagine a scenario where I win against it…”

“Where’s your usual bluster? Especially considering you were calling us throwaway opponents and cannon fodder.”

Heine looks at me like I have a second head and smacks Russell’s cheek to wake him up.

Viper gently lowers Russell to the ground, as if she intends to join the fight herself.

“I used to have a pet cat, so I can’t fight it… I can’t bring myself to harm it!”

“This isn’t the time for that! I’ll admit, it’s adorable, but we can’t just leave a dangerous monster to its own devices!”

Even though Snow sounds infuriated, she herself is admitting it’s adorable.

Back when we ran into the giant sparrow monster, the Sky King, Lilith refused to fight it, but I now understand why she couldn’t lift a finger against an animal she’d once owned as a pet.

Suddenly, Heine, who appears to have given up on waking Russell, speaks up.

“Cuteness is no reason to lose your edge. Observe! I’m going to go kill it with Lady Viper and show you the power of the Demon Lord’s Army!”

“Huh?”

In stark contrast to Heine’s spirited declaration, Viper lets out a yelp of surprise.

“…Wh-what’s wrong, Lady Viper?”

“N-nothing! Y-yes, if we show our strength, we can prove that demons are useful. So for the sake of my people and for Kisaragi, who has done so much for me, I’ll set aside my mercy and…!”

Today Viper isn’t dressed in her usual Demon Lord outfit and is instead wearing the power armor designed for Snake Woman.

It is at this moment that the giant cat notices Viper—who charged in with a battle cry—as well as Heine.

Having closed the distance in a blink, Viper pauses.

“…Oof! Is this charm magic…?”

“There’s no magic at work, Lady Viper! Are you letting its cuteness get to you?!” says Heine on noticing that Viper pulled her punch right before it connected.

Viper, who we brought as Kisaragi’s trump card, of sorts, easily folds. We are officially fresh out of options.

…No, there are still two people who haven’t given up yet.

“There’s no need to trouble Lady Viper! I’ll finish you myself!”

“Good, Heine, draw its attention from the front! I’ll attack from behind using my Sword of Searing Heat, Flame Zapper!”

The two former enemies are now working together to face off against a giant foe.

Rather than reminding me of exemplary operatives of an evil organization, the sight evokes the image of our sworn enemies, the Heroes…

“Meow!”

“Ohhh no! Heine! M-Ms. Snow!”

With little effort, the cat swats the two of them aside, and they roll to the ground, unconscious.

Even considering the size of the cat, the damage from that little pat was evidently quite large.

As the two of them are sprawled on the ground, Viper hurriedly makes her way to them.

“Hey, Alice. Why are we having so much trouble against moles, sparrows, and now cats? We’re here trying to seriously be an evil organization, and yet we keep ending up in life-or-death brawls against adorable critters.”

“Just being huge like that is a cheat in itself. But the only thing in our arsenal that would be an even match for them is the Destroyer, and it’s currently out of juice after exterminating the Sand King and salvaging Mr. Mogero. We need Heine to focus on recharging him…”

Kisaragi mutants have a final option of turning into giant versions of themselves as a means of fighting the giant robots fielded by the Heroes, but the only mutant currently assigned to this planet is Tiger Man.

And he’s currently off on a journey of his own.

…It is then that Viper, who has taken advantage of the giant cat being distracted by the fleeing soldiers, comes back carrying Snow and Heine on her back.

“Mr. Six, Ms. Alice. I’ll do something about that giant fluffball, so I’ll leave these two to you.”

After setting down the two on her back, Viper turns back to the giant rampaging cat.

“What do you mean, you’ll do something about it? Given its size, I don’t think even your Demon Lord Punch would be enough to inflict a mortal wound, Vi.”

“I have an ace up my sleeve. Now that I’m the mutant Snake Woman, if I take a lot of damage…”

Wait, does she mean…?

“You can turn giant, too, Vi?”

“Yes. When I became a leader in the Kisaragi Corporation, Lady Lilith gave me the requisite modifications.”

Viper smiles as though it isn’t a big deal, but Heine stands up unsteadily.

“L-Lady Viper…I never knew that… I won’t let you go! Please don’t risk your safety for us demons any further!”

Heine clings to Viper with a look of deep sadness, on the verge of tears.

But…

“Listen, Heine. We’ve been given so much by Mr. Six and the other members of Kisaragi. More than we can ever repay. I want to help everyone. It’s all right, I have no intention of giving up the life that Mr. Six worked so hard to save… It’s true that becoming a giant will take a few years off my life expectancy, but it won’t kill me immediately… That being the case, I have no reservations.”

Viper’s resolve is ironclad.

As she approaches the giant cat, Heine calls out to her, “Lady Viper! I applaud your determination! But we can’t have you risking your life to fight something so adorable! If in the off chance you die, people will say that a former Demon Lord died in battle with an oversize kitten!”

“…I—I won’t die, Heine, so don’t say things that’ll make me doubt my decision.”

As Viper shows a bit of doubt, I come to a realization.

“Vi, you can’t go giant here! If you do…!”

“…? This is a wasteland near the border. I don’t think there will be any damage to the surroundings if I fight while in giant form…”

As Viper turns back to me and tilts her head, Alice realizes what I want to say.

“Ah, I see. It’d be one thing for mutants who look like animals to become giant, but if Viper became giant even though she doesn’t look any different from a person… There’s no cover out here.”

“That’s right! If you become giant your clothes will be destroyed and you’ll be completely naked, Vi!”

“P-please reconsider, Lady Viper! There’s tons of humans here!”

Hearing that, Viper turns back to face the giant cat even as her shoulders faintly tremble.

“…If I can be of help to everyone, I don’t mind being naked…”

“I can hear the tremble in your voice, Vi! You really shouldn’t force yourself! When you’re big you can be seen from a mile away, and since we’ll be looking up at you from below, it’ll be really bad…”

“We don’t need the details! Lady Viper’s already frozen in place!”

As Viper covers her face and curls into a ball, the giant cat twitches its nose and sniffles as it glances around…

…until its eyes land on us.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! How’s that? You want some of this?! When I heard there was a giant tiger monster stomping around Toris, this is the ace I prepared just in case!”

Snow has gathered her nerve when we weren’t looking and opened a bag.

There’s white powder spilling from inside the bag, and the giant cat’s eyes are locked onto it.

Oh no, she brought out something really dangerous…

“…From what I’m detecting in the air, that white powder is definitely catnip. She has Tiger Man’s precious reserve supply. He’s gonna throw a fit when he gets back…”

“For one who used to be a proud knight, Snow sure has her klepto moments. I think she’s actually better suited to being a rogue.”

I’d heard she grew up in the slums, so there’s a good chance she was a petty thief when she was younger.

The giant cat warily heads over to Snow as she throws the catnip powder into the air…

“Look at that, Six. Snow’s actually being useful. Looks like it’s working.”

“Wow, yeah. Impressive, especially since she’s been a walking punch line of late.”

“It probably sounds weird coming from a demon like me, but you guys are pretty awful.”

At the cat letting out a purr and rolling around at Snow’s feet, the fleeing soldiers seem to have regained their senses.

The soldiers gather first in squads, and once they gather into company-size units, Snow has them surround the giant cat, who is now completely under her control.

The soldiers are equipped with harpoons and nets, and it seems our lessons learned from the fight with the Sand King have been implemented by the royal army. Tillis has our reports to thank for that.

Despite the fact that the army is getting into position to take it down, the giant cat still focuses solely on the catnip.

Reassured by the sight, Snow looks triumphantly over at us.

“Look what I did! Hey, Six, since you’ve been such a help to me every day, I’m happy to split the credit with you this time!”

“…You’re just trying to make me an accomplice in your theft of Tiger Man’s catnip, aren’t you? He’s actually pretty hard on anyone who’s not a kid, so I refuse to get involved with this one.”

Snow keeps her eyes on the giant, purring cat.

“…I’m technically still seventeen. Given my age, do you think he’ll go easy on me, too?”

“You don’t have an ounce of the innocence that a child has. Also, given your looks, I’m pretty sure you never stood a chance of persuading Tiger Man to do anything… Oh, looks like they’re going to catch it now.”

The soldiers all throw their nets over the cat, but it’s so preoccupied with the catnip that it pays them no mind. It simply purrs in satisfaction.

Just when it seems like we have this one in the bag—

“I bring news! We’ve spotted a mysterious force in the distance! …Um, what is that? They’re riding something odd…”

One of the soldiers who has been keeping watch of the surroundings comes to give a puzzled report to Snow.

“An army riding weird objects? …Ah, I see, it must be that woman, Adelie or whatever. So they intended to use the giant monster guarding Toris as a decoy then circle around while we were busy dealing with it. Those of you subduing the monster, continue your work! The rest of you, we’ll reorganize our forces to engage the new enemy! Now’s the time to show them the power of—”

Snow turns to face the newly spotted forces…

“…Hey, Six. What are those? They have a lot of those odd machinations you use every now and then.”

“Those are clearly transport vehicles. Combat transports at that… Hey, Alice, we’re in deep this time. Why the hell do they have modern weapons?”

In the wastelands spreading out before us, there are several dozen combat transports approaching us.

Since they don’t have any turrets, they’re probably APCs, armored personnel carriers.

“I explained it at the meeting, remember? There’s a possibility that the faction that took over Toris had technology and modern weapons along with living weapons that are comparable or superior to those from Earth. After all, they conquered Toris in a single night. I knew they had something up their sleeve, but this just made conquering this planet a lot harder.”

Given that they have armored transports, it’s safe to assume they’ve also got firearms.

If they only have enough troops to man a few dozen APCs, we’ve probably got the advantage in sheer numbers. But there’s far too big a gap in terms of equipment. If they have machine guns, it’ll end up a one-sided slaughter.

More than anything, the enemy we see atop the APCs are all dressed in outfits similar to the power armor that Adelie was wearing.

Seeing them, Alice calls out:

“Retreat!”

Alice takes out her teleporter at roughly the same moment, scribbles down a quick note, and sends it.

“Wha…?! W-wait, Alice! We’re almost done defeating the giant monster! I don’t know how strong that force is, but we should be able to buy enough time to—”

At this point, I have to interject, even though Snow clearly doesn’t want to let go of her potential win.

“Each of those guys over there probably has about the same fighting ability as us Combat Agents.”

“Retreat!”

And so Snow orders the army’s retreat without a moment’s hesitation.

While there’s no one who as hungry for glory as she is, the fact that she is willing to immediately retreat against an enemy without even fighting once again proves her skills as a commander. She never hesitates to make the tough decisions.

The fact that the soldiers immediately switch to retreating despite the fact that they had almost finished subduing the giant cat speaks to the quality of their training.

“So, Snow. I’m finally convinced you didn’t gain your rank through your connections, money, or your body.”

“Why are you bad-mouthing me at a time like this?! Damn it all! Those of you who can move quickly, help the slow ones! Throw aside your heavy equipment as you flee! They’ll also serve to impede the enemy!”

As Snow leads her men to safety, Viper picks up the still out-cold Russell and holds him out to Heine.

“I’ll cover the retreat. I’m leaving him in your care, Heine.”

“Huh?! Wait, Lady Viper!”

With that, Viper begins running to the very rear of the Grace Kingdom Army.

“Ahh… Despite being a member of an evil organization, Lady Snake Woman is still a leader, I see. She really is good at her job. Not only can she fight, but she can do paperwork well. And not only do the demons love her, but the way the former Elite Four follow her…she has my undying respect…”

“Wh-what the hell are you going on about? Of course the demons love her… Mmph!”

I cover Heine’s mouth and whisper into her ear:

“Lady Dandruff doesn’t know that Snake Woman is Vi. We’ve got a pool going among the Combat Agents to see how long it’ll take her to notice, so don’t tell her.”

“How blind does she have to be not to see it under these circumstances…? I mean, sure, it’s probably better she not know since she’d probably pick a fight with us, but… Oh, never mind!”

Heine pushes Russell into my arms and hurriedly chases after Viper.

“I’ll go cover the retreat with Lady Viper, so I’ll leave Russell to you! We’ll buy you a little time, so at least give me a few more days off, okay?”

Heine doesn’t wait for a reply and begins to summon flames to her hands as she’s running.

“Hey, you weirdly dressed humans…! I’m Heine of the Flames, former pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four! I don’t know who you are, but you’re not getting past me!”

She bares her large canines, unique to demons, and challenges the approaching army—!