Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 6 - Chapter 4.2

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Doing her best to mask the tremors in her voice, Snow addresses Grace Kingdom’s army.

“You may have already heard, but the enemy we face is a giant monster with little in the way of brains! The main weapon of we humans is our intelligence! There’s no need to face it head on! If we attack it with long-range weapons, we should be able to subdue it without suffering a single casualty!”

Snow—who has accrued an impressive number of screwups over the past few months, then further sullied her reputation with blatant corruption—puts on a brave face, as if blind to the mountain of chips stacked against her.

While I am skeptical about letting this crooked knight take command of the monster-extermination mission, it seems that she actually has a decent reputation as a military commander.

According to Tillis, Snow has a finger on the pulse of the everyday soldier’s motivation, perhaps due to her own humble beginnings.

She also expanded her network of connections to nobles and knights as she clawed her way up the chain of command, and she is well versed in how to deal with prideful individuals like nobles, so if you willfully ignore her rotten core, she is, in fact, a pretty decent commander.

“Hey, Alice, her voice is kinda shaky. Are you sure she can handle this? Do you think she’s scared because she hasn’t seen real combat in a while?”

“Meh, let’s pretend she’s just excited. If she can produce results in this mission, she can go back to being the captain of the Royal Guard. This could be the redemption she’s been waiting for.”

During our consultation with Tillis, emergency bells chimed, signaling the approach of a giant monster nearing the kingdom’s border.

We hadn’t expected Adelie to make a move so quickly. But Snow, who was present when the alarm rang out, was tasked with defeating or capturing the beast.

And if, by chance, she is to fail her assignment…

“Formally joining Kisaragi as an employee? Kisaragi’s not a dumping ground for screwups.”

“Either way, if she can’t pull her weight this time, she’ll be fired. She’s got a lot of flaws, but she’s still half-decent in a fight, so we can probably find a use for her. Besides, corruption is a clear-cut act of villainy. If she worked for us, something like that wouldn’t be a problem.”

Well…Snow may have a garbage personality, but she’s still hot as hell and knows her way around the battlefield.

She’s morally bankrupt, but we do belong to an evil organization, so…

…I guess we can look the other way when it comes to corruption.

“…No, I almost went along with it, but Snow’s underhandedness even puts Lady Lilith to shame. I’ve been working for an evil organization for a long time, and I still find Snow’s actions excessive.”

She’s more than “a little” corrupt.

It wasn’t until after she was caught that we got the full scope of just how bad things were under her watch.

“Yep, while corruption is run-of-the-mill in a backward society, she simply has no sense of moderation. Usually, the more money involved, the more the corrupt actor starts pumping the brakes because they’re afraid of just how deep a hole they’ve potentially dug themselves into, but Snow’s greed knows no limits. The amount of assets we seized was enough to buy a private estate in the Grace Kingdom.”

What happened to the proud knight I once knew?

After Alice confiscated her ill-gotten gains, Snow’s disgraceful crying and pleading made it impossible to reconcile that person with the woman I’d met when I first got here.

“What really gets me is that she was able to keep things running despite the fact that she was accepting bribes and skimming off the top. The merchants, the city’s residents, even the laborers considered her a capable governor. How the hell was she able to get such a great price for the construction contracts despite the fact that she still got good work and wasn’t cutting corners on material fees…?”

…When it comes to making money, she can be pretty damn terrifying.

Since Kisaragi technically benefitted from all her gains, maybe it would’ve been a good idea to let her run the show a little longer…

Still, using company funds without permission and then embezzling it is a crime, even if it benefits the company.

At Kisaragi, internal embezzling and corruption as forms of villainy are actually strongly discouraged.

“All right, we’re nearing the Grace Kingdom’s border! All of you, keep your wits about you and…!”

Astride her unicorn at the head of the army, Snow shouts encouragement at the soldiers behind her.

Since she’s about to go from a debt-ridden knight to a criminal knight if things keep going the way they are, it is easy to see why she’s so motivated.

I am walking a short distance away from the army as the soldiers drag siege weapons like catapults and ballistae along the ground.

The reinforcements from Kisaragi consist of me, Alice, and the ex-Elite Four members.

Grimm and Rose aren’t here, but that’s because when we woke up this morning, we found Grimm’s corpse sprawled out on the ground.

Since there was a voodoo doll and five-inch nails discovered near her body, we assumed she’d accidentally offed herself again.

I’m not sure who taught her about Japanese curses, but we can just ask her about that when we revive her for the umpteenth time.

Rose had her hands full carrying Grimm’s body to the temple for resurrection, and we left the other Combat Agents back at Hideout City.

There’s also a good chance that this giant monster is a decoy. We’d heard from our scouting parties that a giant monster was protecting Toris, so it’s safe to assume that the enemy has a means of controlling giant monsters.

Alice has already declared that this giant monster is a living weapon belonging to Hiiragi.

As I watch the army trudge along in front of me, I call over to the demon contingent:

“You know, that reminds me. Isn’t it usually the job of the Demon Lord’s Army to control monsters and send them off to battle? Come to think of it, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you guys act like the genuine leaders.”

““?!””

The former members of the Elite Four snap to attention after hearing that.

“Wh-what did you just say about us?!”

“I can’t let that comment slide. I’m pretty sure I had the airs of an elite demon. Back when I fought you, Six, I used a giant robot that I found in the ruins and almost killed you, remember?”

Looks like I struck a nerve.

“I mean, the only thing Heine ever did was get dragged into pervy situations at the drop of a hat. And Russell, you just ended up being a weak throwaway character. I think Gadal-whatever of the Earth was the most ‘elite’ of the Elite Four.”

At my honest appraisal, Heine and Russell stop dead in their tracks.

“…I’ve been thinking this for a while, but you really don’t give us enough credit.”

“Yeah, it seems like we’ve been too friendly recently, and you’ve forgotten who we are. Six, you realize that there’s two of us here, don’t you?”

The fan-service demon and the chimera maid stare daggers at me.

“Vi, Vi, they’re trying to pick a fight with me even though I’m their boss. Could you put them in their place, please? All I said was that it should be the demons going around controlling giant monsters.”

“Uh-Umm… Listen, you two. Mr. Six is technically your boss, so you shouldn’t get so up in arms over small matters.”

“N-no fair, Six! Don’t hide behind Lady Viper!”

“Y-yeah! Picking a fight and then tattling? What are you, five?! Fight like a man!”

…I stand in front of Russell and hike up his skirt.

“Wai—!! Wh-what are you doing in public…?”

When Russell moves in a panic to hold down the hem of his skirt, I take the opportunity to circle around behind him.

I then put him in a choke hold…

“Hey, Six! Russell’s foaming at the mouth! Okay, okay, we’ll accept you’re stronger than us, so let him go! Let go!”

“M-Mr. Six, please stop! It looks really bad when you put someone who looks like a little girl into a choke hold…!”

I wipe my brow with satisfaction after I show Russell who’s boss.

“Y-you’re still surprisingly ruthless to a childlike Russell… Especially given how cutely he’s dressed…”

“I think you should worry more about the fact that Russell seems completely at home dressing that way. He actually gave the appropriate response to having his skirt hiked up.”

Viper, unable to abandon her former subject, picks Russell up and puts him on her back.

Just then, a buzz travels through the part of the army Snow is leading. And when I look over to see what’s happening…

“There’s the giant monster!”

…the scouts shout out at the top of their lungs.

Snow’s voice rings out over the troops.

“All units, take your positions! Show them the determination of the Grace Kingdom’s army!”

Even though Snow’s voice is thick with enthusiasm, the soldiers are moving sluggishly.

They aren’t fighting an invader that is threatening them but a giant monster.

There is no guarantee that the monster will harm the Grace Kingdom if left alone.

At the lack of motivation among the soldiers, Snow calls out again:

“I know how you feel! I’d probably be unmotivated too if I were you! I understand that you’d be hesitant to fight, especially given that the war with the demons has finally come to an end! But remember! The war is over!”

The soldiers tilted their heads curiously at Snow’s desperate plea.

“At this rate, the army will stand down and our budget will plummet. If that happens, just how many of you here will end up jobless…?”

The soldiers all go pale at her statement, and Snow raises an arm.

“But I promise you, brothers! If we defeat this giant monster, I’ll let the kingdom’s leadership know just how much you’re all needed! And even if we cannot defeat it, I promise that I’ll get those of you who fought valiantly off the list of downsizing candidates!”

Light returns to the soldiers’ eyes.

“Given how long you’ve been in the army, can you find other jobs? Of course! I’m sure it’s possible for those of you with a varied skill set… But think of all that you’ll lose if you’re no longer a soldier! As a soldier, I’m sure that people respectfully yield the road to you on the street, while bar owners give you drinks on the house for your service! It’s a law that soldiers are treated well during wartime, and since the war has only recently ended, I’m sure you still receive special treatment!”

I’ve gotta hand it to Snow. She definitely has leadership potential.

While what she’s saying is completely abhorrent, the previously demotivated soldiers hold up their fists and cheer.

“Show the people why we’re needed! Let’s kill the giant monster and get all sorts of praise! There’ll be a reward for those that inflict serious wounds! There will be money and glory waiting for us if we go home with this monster’s head in hand!”

The fact that she puts money first and glory second is so very much in character for Snow, but looking at the faces of the soldiers, it’s clear her words have had an effect.

“Chaaaaaaarge!”

As Snow forges ahead on her unicorn, the soldiers behind her loose a fearsome war cry!