3
And so, I capture the weird woman who falls off the roof and proceeds to writhe around on the ground in pain.
“Who the hell is this woman…?”
“She really did seem intent on saving me. What a pity. I guess I’ll give her an A for effort. Alas, if she’d been a man, I might have ended up betraying the Commander by accident.”
Since Grimm seems intent on spouting more nonsense, I ignore her and survey the hog-tied woman lying on the ground.
Her white armor is definitely closer to our power armor than the standard armor.
“Urgh… Damn it all… I, an ally of justice, will never bend to evil!” says the weird woman as she squirms along the ground.
She definitely has Crazy! Do not interact! written all over her.
“Commander, what is it? …Ah-ha, I bet you’re thinking dirty thoughts because she’s a woman, aren’t you? You naughty boy. You can’t go around seducing another woman while you’re on a date…”
“I keep telling you, we’re on a mission, not a date. I’m pretty sure she’s the suspicious person we’re here to find.”
I set aside the crazy spinster who’s pouting despite her age and kneel in front of the new woman.
“…Now. What did you say your name was? I had something I wanted to ask you.”
“I’m Adelheid Krueger, the Umbral Savior! My friends call me Adelie! But I have no intention of answering any questions from you, villain!”
…Shit. My Don’t-Get-Involved alarm is going crazy.
Usually, interrogating a beautiful woman is a great opportunity to earn tons of Evil Points and get away with sexual harassment, but…
I shove all my internal struggles aside and just ask her directly, “Hey, Adelie… Do you know what a Hero is?”
Yes, she has the same air as the superheroes I’d fought countless intense battles with on Earth.
“…Who’s this Hiro you’re talking about? …Oops! I’m not telling you anything, villain! Also, Adelie is a nickname reserved for friends, so don’t call me that!”
Given that she seems sincere in her response, does that mean she’s unrelated to the Heroes from Earth?
I figured someone this uptight and uncooperative would be someone associated with the Heroes for sure, but…
“Hey, Ms. Adelheid, you mentioned something about justice, didn’t you? Meaning you fight for what’s right, and all that?”
“Yes, I’m an ally of justice… Also, I don’t like being called Adelheid. It’s not very cute. I guess you can call me Adelie.”
Adelie speaks casually as she lies on the ground, and I can’t really be certain that she’s the suspicious individual going around causing trouble.
“I’m Combat Agent Six. This is Grimm. We’re currently patrolling this area looking for a suspicious individual who’s been causing problems for this city…”
“…Oh, so you know the woman in the wheelchair?”
At that question, I explain the reasons behind my little to-do with Grimm earlier.
Having heard that, Adelie lets out a sigh of relief.
“Oh, thank goodness. So there wasn’t some innocent woman being kidnapped by a villain. Mr. Agentsix, I’m sorry for insulting you by calling you a villain. I had no idea you are also a warrior for justice trying to keep the peace. I mistook you for the villains in black who, according to rumors, have been engaging in heinous acts around the city.”
I have a good idea of who she is talking about, but I decide to keep quiet.
At this point, Adelie opens her eyes and declares, “This must be fate! I, Adelie, will assist you in your quest to find this suspicious person!”
“I’m pretty sure it’s you, though.”
“Hey, Commander. As the Archbishop of Zenarith, I’m giving you a warning. You really shouldn’t get involved with this person.”
At my accusation of her meddling, Adelie squirms and protests.
“I’m not a suspicious person, oh ally of justice! If you’re patrolling the city to keep the peace, then we’re on the same side!”
“What do you mean, we’re on the same side? This country’s peace is kept by the police and us Combat Agents. Do you have permission to be doing any of this?”
“There’s no need for an ally of justice to get permission to keep the peace. Of course I haven’t asked for permission!”
“Hey, Commander, it’s not too late. I really think it’s better to avoid getting involved with this person.”
I mean, sure, I’d prefer not to deal with her, too, but I need to make sure…
“Hey, you. Did you attack one of the kingdom’s farms recently?”
“I did attack an evil farm that was using orcs as slave labor, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
No, I’m still not sure she’s the one.
“I also heard a meat-skewer vendor’s having a lot of trouble because his sales tanked after having the source of his main ingredient leaked. Might you have any idea what I’m talking about?”
“I did report a stall vendor that was using meat from a source so foul I can’t say it out loud, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
W-wait, no… I’m still not sure she’s the one.
“Hey, Ms. Adelie, could you tell me more about your good deeds?”
“Well, there was an innocent maid girl at the reservoir being forced to endlessly create water, so I started a protest to rally the people against her heinous treatment.”
“So you are the suspicious person!” I can’t help but comment and hoist the hog-tied woman to my shoulder.
“N-now hold on, citizen! I was just doing what justice demands! What are you planning to do to me?!”
Well of course, I’m going to—
“N-no, you can’t, Commander! You’re planning to do pervy things to her by using the excuse that you’re interrogating her, aren’t you?! Just like when you captured Heine of the Demon Lord’s Army’s Elite Four!”
No, I’m just going to turn her over to the authorities.
“Wh-what?! Don’t do that, oh ally of justice! That’s something evildoers do! Of course, I understand why you’d be tempted, since I’m well-known among my comrades for being super-beautiful, but…”
“You obnoxious tart, coming out of nowhere to steal the Commander! I mean, the Commander said he’d be willing to do pervy things to me if I wasn’t a clingy follower of Zenarith or if I was okay with him not taking any responsibility!”
Yup, my instincts are right.
Since I now have two crazy women on my hands, I need to get rid of one ASAP.
“Ally of justice, where do you plan on taking me?! While I do think we would have pretty good chemistry since you keep the peace of this city night and day, we’ve only just met and—”
“You don’t plan on going to the meeting motel, do you?! Hey, Commander, it’d be the lowest of the low for you to do that with another woman while on a date with me!! Pick me, not this random intruder! I’ve been with you for so much longer!”
Maybe I should just turn both of them in…
“We’re heading to the police department.”
At that, Adelie stops squirming.
“…If you don’t mind, could you please tell me why you’re going there?”
“To hand you off to them.”
Hearing that, Adelie begins to squirm against my shoulder.
“No, not the police! Please wait! Let’s talk about this!”
“Quiet! You’re bad news, I just know it!”
Ordinarily, for an evil organization like us, trouble should be a good thing.
We can dive headfirst into the trouble and turn things to our advantage through complaints.
Then we can demand things like restitution and damages to line our pockets.
But her…
“Hey, Commander, you’re weirdly calm today. I figured you were going to sexually harass or bully her by using the interrogation as an excuse,” Grimm whispers to me quietly, ignoring Adelie, who is pitching a fit while slung over my shoulder.
“I have the right to choose who I harass, y’know. For some reason, this girl’s just not doing it for me…”
No, that’s not right.
“To be blunt, I think she’s extremely annoying.”
“I heard that! You’re pretty rude, you know!”
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