Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 5 - Chapter 5.4

4 

As I pace around the office, Rose, tucked under a blanket on the sofa, speaks up. 

“Boss, calm down, please. Let’s just wait until Ms. Alice can explain the details.” 

“Alice hasn’t come back, either. And what the hell are you doing? Whose blanket is that?” 

Apparently, when Alice and Viper left yesterday, they were heading to the castle in the kingdom of Grace. 

This morning, the news of the Defeat of the Sand King Celebration and the Demon Lord’s execution came out, but… 

“This is Viper’s blanket that I won from Russell in a fight. I find it soothing to have it wrapped around me.” 

The two Chimeras, who are quite attached to Viper, have also been on pins and needles all morning. 

Heine, the one most negatively affected by the news, has holed herself up in the power plant and is obsessively generating electricity. 

No doubt she plans to ask Mr. Destroyer, currently recharging next to the facility, for help. 

Then again, Heine seemed to have known something like this would happen from the time she was locked up in the dungeon of the Demon Lord’s Castle. 

She might be trying to distract herself by focusing on her work. 

“You probably don’t remember because you were asleep, but when we first met Vi, she said she wanted the kingdom of Grace to execute her as recompense for the demons’ many transgressions. She probably means to take responsibility for the entire war, but I didn’t realize she was this serious about it.” 

Viper had been working hard every day, approaching her tasks with the utmost care and focus, but I guess she was putting in her best effort because she planned to die from the very beginning. 

…Just then, the door to the office opens, and Tiger Man pokes his head in. 

“Six, come with me. Emergency meeting in the cafeteria.” 

I can tell Tiger Man isn’t messing around because, once again, he’s forgotten to purr. 

“I take it you guys have hearrrrd the news? Man, as soon as we killed the Sand King, things got weirrrd,” says Tiger Man, surrounded by Kisaragi agents. 

“Why are they executing Ms. Viper? Do those Grace Kingdom assholes not understand just how valuable attractive young women are?!” 

“Viper’s such a good girl. She’s beautiful but in possession of a kindness and a common sense you’d never find at Kisaragi…” 

“Well, she might not have thaaat much common sense. I mean, the other day when I said, ‘Heh-heh-heh, so, young lady, what color panties are you wearing?’ as a greeting, she tried to answer me normally.” 

The last agent to speak up gets smacked by everyone in attendance. 

Russell, who’s been stirring a pot in the kitchen, says with a note of exasperation: 

“Will you calm down, guys? We have no idea what’s going on until Alice gives us the details. There’s time until the execution. So right now, we should wait on Alice.” 

“Mr. Russell, you need to calm down, too. You’ve been stirring the pot for a while now, but you forgot to put in any ingredients.” 

Russell falls silent at Rose’s words. 

I take the opportunity to get up on a table and shout: 

“Alice hasn’t come back, either, dammit! This is a challenge to us by the kingdom of Grace! Vi is our prisoner of war, so why should we sit back and let the kingdom of Grace execute her?! Beautiful young women are valuable assets! If they’re planning to take one of our assets, that’s no different than a declaration of war!” 

“Wow, I actually agree with something Six said, for once! Yeah, we’re an evil organization! If there’s something we want, we should just take it!” 

“Heh-heh-heh, now we’re talking like a real evil organization. We’ve all been behaving ourselves ever since we got to this rock. Now’s the time to do some real damage…!” 

The Combat Agents, who are all petty thugs at heart, cheer in agreement. 

The rest depends on the influential mutant Tiger Man’s opinion, but… 

“If Vipurr is gone, no matter how grrrrreat a sorcerer stone I obtain, no one else can make me a kid again! If the possibility isn’t zerrrro, I’m not giving up!” 

I don’t understand what he’s saying, nor do I want to understand, but if nothing else, he seems to agree we have to rescue Viper. 

“Ugh, you people really are dumb. Since I’m afraid you’ll mess up on your own, I, Russell of the Water, will lend you a hand. I feel like you all have been underestimating me lately. I’ll show those pitiful humans of the kingdom of Grace just what I’m capable of.” 

“Mr. Russell, you just uttered one of the Kisaragi manual’s forbidden lines. If you come with us, you’ll probably die, so just stay here and cook something.” 

I guess everyone agrees we have to rescue Viper. 

“All right then, let’s get to it! Prepare for war! Remember Kisaragi’s real nature! We’re gonna invade the kingdom of Grace and get Alice and Vi back!” 

““““Yaaaaahoooo!”””” 

And just as we all get fired up… 

“You morons. Why the hell would you want to invade the kingdom of Grace? They don’t have much in the way of resources. The place to invade is Toris, you hear me? Toris.” 

Having returned while we weren’t paying attention, Alice speaks to us from the doorway. 

“So why are you doing the walk of shame despite being an android, huh? Also, the reason we’re gonna invade the kingdom of Grace is to save Vi. We don’t want to take over the country itself!” 

“That’s why I’m telling you to stop. Viper’s execution was decided from the start. It was included in the terms when they agreed to let the demons settle in Hideout City if the Sand King was defeated. We discussed this with Tillis herself.” 

Well, I suppose that’s what I should expect from a cold, calculating android. She’s completely heartless. 

“Hey, Alice, doesn’t Vi’s presence help you as well? I mean, you were piling all sorts of work on her. Given how clever you are, surely you’ve got some way of saving her, right?” 

“It’s true that since Kisaragi’s full of idiots, having Viper was helpful. But to end a war, there needs to be a scapegoat who can take all the blame. And given that’s what Viper wants, the rest of us aren’t in any position to stop her.” 

…True, given how seriously self-sacrificial Viper is, that’s something she’d probably say. 

But… 

“I hate to do this, but I’m invoking my wartime command authority. Forget about Viper. We finally got everything settled. Don’t mess it up. This is for Kisaragi.” 

At Alice’s unusually stern warning, everyone present falls silent. 

It’s now morning, five days before the Defeat of the Sand King Celebration. 

Grimm’s voice rings out in the training grounds next to the hideout. 

“Understand me, Commander. I’m not such an easy woman that I’ll forget everything just because you take me on a date!” 

The day after we’re lectured by Alice, Grimm is fuming. Apparently, she’s upset that we didn’t even notice she came back to life at some point. 

“Look, it’s not our fault. You’re usually dead when we need you. I mean, for the Sand King battle, if we’d had you around, we would’ve had a much easier time.” 

Learning she missed out on the battle with the Sand King, especially after missing the Demon Lord’s Army battle, is a heavy blow to Grimm. 

“…I won’t be swayed by sweet words like if we’d had you around… But I made you lunch. Would you like it?” 

I take the bento box from the easily swayed Grimm. 

“Let’s go on a date and eat it together.” 

Hearing that, Grimm curls her lips into a poorly concealed smile. 

“Yes, I suppose enjoying a packed lunch together is a regular part of a date. Um, Commander, can you say the words let’s go on a date again? One hundred more times, perhaps?” 

“N-no way…!” 

Seeing how happy she is just to hear the word date makes me feel guilty considering where I’m taking her… 

“I can’t believe I fell for something like this again! I should’ve known you only invited me out on a whim! It was the first time anyone had asked me out on a date, too! Give me back my first time!” 

We’re near the woods that spread out in front of the hideout. 

“What are you talking about? This is a proper date. Have you never heard of picnics?” 

“Hold on! I can understand calling it a picnic if we’re out picking berries or wildflowers. But this is in no way a picnic!” 

Currently, Grimm and I are gathering mipyokopyoko eggs. 

Since I heard an amateur can’t tell the difference between mupyokopyoko and mipyokopyoko eggs, I invited Grimm, who seemed to have nothing else to do. 

“Besides, why did you invite me of all people? I’m not an outdoorsy type! Snow knows how to tell the difference, too!” 

It’s true that pushing a wheelchair through these woods is a bit of a hassle… 

“Snow hasn’t come back from the castle, and I thought you’d know a lot about things like this.” 

“…Well, sure, I do use monster components as part of my job sometimes, but… Sigh, okay, just this once, all right? But in exchange, you need to help me gather materials to use in my rituals.” 

Well, I guess I can help with that. 

…And lo, there’s some right there. 

“Hey, Grimm, which pyokopyoko’s eggs are these?” 

“These are mipyokopyoko eggs. A strong shock will make them explode, so mind how you handle them… I heard you’re short on money since Alice cut off your allowance, but are you so broke that you need to take odds jobs like this?” 

“I’m broke enough that I can’t go partying in the kingdom these days.” 

Grimm smiles thinly. 

“…Then how about we go drinking tonight? I’ve heard about that girl Viper. I know you two were close, so I’m sure you’re still struggling with that… As the Archbishop of Zenarith, the least I can do is comfort you at a time like this.” 

“…Okay.” 

But I’m not going to be comforted. 

I’m going because there’s something I want to ask Grimm about mipyokopyoko eggs… 

Three more days until the celebration. 

The demons in Hideout City have started asking us for jobs. 

They feel that, because Viper and Heine have been working so hard for their sakes, they can’t just sit around doing nothing. 

I guess the news about Viper’s execution was intentionally kept from them so as not to cause a stir. 

With a sudden increase in her paperwork, Alice gets caught grumbling pretty often. She better not look to us for assistance, though. Since we can’t read the local language, there’s nothing we can do to help. 

When I shrug my shoulders and cite that as my excuse, she threatens to print out a bunch of paperwork in Japanese for me to do instead. 

I return the favor by telling her it’d just increase her workload because she’ll have to go through and correct all the errors Combat Agents would make filling out the forms. She seemed to have a pretty hard time believing we would brag about something like that. 

Two days until the celebration. 

Lately, Tiger Man’s been howling at night, which has been a serious nuisance. 

There are even more voices joining the chorus tonight. 

Seems they’re trying to distract themselves from Viper’s absence. 

But with three of them howling, it’s just way too loud. 

Too much yowling is going to attract monsters to Hideout City and the kingdom, too, so I wish they’d stop. 

“Tomorrow, there’s going to be a huge festival commemorating the defeat of the Sand King. They’ll also be conducting that ceremony at the end of the festival, but you guys better not intervene.” 

The day before the victory celebration, Alice comes in to give us one final warning. 

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but in wartime, command authority is absolute within Kisaragi. 

Everyone here knows that. 

An organization can’t survive without following its chain of command. 

Everyone seems to nod in agreement, and then… 

Tonight’s the long-awaited Defeat of the Sand King Celebration. 

Maybe it’s because there’s a particularly beautiful moon out, but the three beasts we keep in the hideout are howling again and drawing attention from monsters. 

It’s possible that predators will be attracted to the city even with a festival underway. 

As hired Combat Agents, we must fulfill our duty and defend the kingdom of Grace. 

And so driven by that sense of duty… 

“We’re the Combat Agents of an evil organization! You think we give a damn about rules?! Ha!” 

““““Yaaahooo!”””” 

This is about par for the course for Kisaragi Combat Agents. 

If they wanna throw a celebration so badly, we’ll gladly bring the party. 

I take out the mask I usually don’t wear because it’s so stupid-looking and head into the city to witness Viper’s last moments.