3
Having returned to the base, we first decide to wash Mr. Destroyer, who did the most work today.
“Mr. Destroyer really is the best. A mere mole is no match for it.”
Alice, a firm believer in science and nothing else, happily pats Mr. Destroyer’s hull.
The Sand King, which had long plagued the demons as well as the neighboring country, was finally put down after a fierce duel with Mr. Destroyer.
Despite its adorable appearance, it was still a great monster, and it put up a hell of a fight until the very end. Mr. Destroyer is a true asset for allowing us to take care of that monster.
“Mr. Destroyer’s damaged all over now. The least I can do is fill the cracks with grains of rice.”
“What the hell are you trying to do to Mr. Destroyer?! Do you want to die?! I’ll fix the damage myself. It’ll take some time, but my repairs will be so thorough that, by the time I’m done, you’ll be able to see your reflection in the hull.”
Alice has an attachment to Mr. Destroyer bordering on obsession. She forces us to also treat it like a person in conversation, but I suppose that attachment stems from it being a fellow robot.
…Heine, who has been oddly quiet since the end of the battle between the Sand King and Mr. Destroyer, bows her head deeply.
“Mr. Destroyer, was it? Thank you so very much for taking down the Sand King. Usually, you don’t move at all, and I thought you were just lazy, but I was wrong. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for accomplishing the long-held hope of demonkind.”
Heine then deeply bows her head to Mr. Destroyer. It seems like she’s got a strange misunderstanding of what it actually is.
Oh, right, she wasn’t there for the fight between Mr. Destroyer and Russell’s giant robot.
Just when I try to tell her that Mr. Destroyer is similar to a golem…
“Mr. Destroyer says the power you generated is the reason he was able to defeat the Sand King. The electricity you helped create with your high-quality flames was most delicious.”
“R-really?! I see. My flames helped…”
Alice begins pumping the ignorant Heine’s head full of weird ideas, but every Kisaragi operative other than me is already busy preparing the victory party.
Which is why Alice, Heine, and I are the only ones here.
I opt to jump on Alice’s bandwagon.
“Mr. Destroyer is our trump card, and he usually spends his days sleeping as a result. The harder you work in the power plant, Heine, the stronger Mr. Destroyer becomes.”
“Is that true?! …Okay then! From now, I’ll redouble my efforts!”
“Very good. Mr. Destroyer is looking forward to your help, but he doesn’t want you to work too hard. He’s asking that I give you some time off as I promised before.”
Tears spill from Heine’s eyes.
“Oh, Mr. Destroyer…”
Looks like she’s just as thickheaded as me and Rose.
I’ve been hearing announcements of Evil Point gains throughout our entire conversation with Heine, and at this rate, it looks like I’ll be in the black again soon.
As we continue teasing her, Viper shows up.
“Um, I was told preparations for the party are complete, so I came to collect you all…”
“Oh, gotcha. Once Mr. Destroyer’s clean, we’ll head over.”
Hearing that, Heine smiles and offers her help.
“I’ll help, too! It looks like Mr. Destroyer fell asleep. When he wakes up, I’m sure he’ll be surprised by how clean we made him!”
“Huh…? Um, what’s Heine talking about…?”
Clearly understanding Mr. Destroyer isn’t a living being, Viper looks confused by Heine’s words.
“In commemoration of the Kisaragi Corporation’s defeat of the Sand King, I’d like to begin with a short—”
With the microphone in one hand, I’m about to start my lead-in to the toast at the party grounds constructed in Hideout City…
“Get on with it!”
“We wanna drink already! Skip the speech and get to the toast!”
The expendables heckle me without fear.
I suppose it’s about time to make some things clear to them.
“Okay, okay, shut up already! Here’s a toast to the rare feat of all you weak-ass, dime-a-dozen agents surviving the battle with the Sand King… Cheers!”
“Cheers…my ass! We’re not dime-a-dozen!”
With that half-assed toast, a wave of clinking glass washes over our group.
We’ve turned Hideout City square into a party venue, setting up several tables for a buffet-style gathering.
The newly immigrated demon residents have joined us for the toast.
With the Sand King gone, they’ll now formally become residents of this city.
Meaning now’s a good time to get to know them better.
But still…
“There’s a succubus! A real-life succubus! And I bet that girl with the pointy fang is a vampire! Damn, this planet is paradise! I’m so happy!”
“More like a furry paradise… There’s so many fluffy people…!”
“I heard the kingdom of Grace was short on men thanks to the war, but it looks like the demons are in a pretty similar situation in terms of gender ratio… I think I’m gonna like it here…”
Seeing how the agents are eyeing the demons, it doesn’t seem like they’ll need my help making new friends.
The folks on the demon side have surrounded Tiger Man and are offering him praise after watching him fight.
“You’re Tiger Man, yes? I hear you stood resolutely in front of the Sand King to keep it from escaping!”
“Tiger Man, you’re so dreamy! I just love your rugged chest hair… Can I touch it?”
“Sir Tiger Man, if you would spare a moment of your time for us… Ohhh, what a man. Even the charms of a succubus won’t work on him… So this is what a hero is made of…”
The succubi press their chests up against him, but Tiger Man offers no reaction, gulping down the rest of the beer in his mug.
Unused to this sort of reaction, the more they’re ignored, the harder the demonesses try to get his attention…
Rose (predator) and an orc (prey) sit side by side and devour their food. The Lilim girl Camille wanders by to give her thanks, and Tiger Man follows her every movement with an intense gaze.
I’m stuffing my face, enjoying the chaotic atmosphere of the party, when Viper comes over to me.
“Mr. Six, thank you so much for everything. It’s thanks to you all that the demons have managed to smile again. We were invaders, and yet… How can we ever repay you…?”
As Viper goes through her spiel again, I wave the piece of meat I’ve been eating at her.
“Vi, you’re always so formal. You just need to say something like, Thanks, I look forward to working with you from here on out, and leave it at that. We Combat Agents are really only good for fighting, so we might not have a lot to do most of the time. When I have downtime, though, I’d love it if you helped me with video games again. Sound good?”
“Yes, I’d be happy to! …Um, oh…that is…”
Viper replies eagerly but then seems at a loss for words.
…Oh, right. I’m going to have a bit of free time now that the Sand King’s gone, but I guess people like Viper, who are actually good at paperwork, will find themselves even busier from now on.
“Oh, right, I understand. Vi, you’re gonna be the most in-demand person in the hideout, after all. But you still owe me, so I won’t forgive you if you just forget about it. At the very least, I’ll have you help me finish this stupid game we’ve been playing. That’s something I won’t budge on as the branch manager.”
At my selfish request, Viper looks a little happy and a little sad…
“Very well. So you still need my help to finish the game…”
“Yes, it’s a promise. A promise is binding! I easily forget promises that don’t benefit me, but I never forget promises like this one.”
Just then.
“There’s no need to thank him, Viper. He didn’t do anything in the fight against the Sand King.”
Despite being unable to hold her liquor, Snow interrupts our conversation, glass in hand…
“I did contribute! When the Sand King showed up, I protected Alice! Besides, you didn’t do anything, either! All that talk at the start, and you’re nowhere to be found during the fight!”
“Silence! That very subject is why I’m here! …Remember, I was close by when the Sand King appeared, was I not?”
Snow says this quietly, as though in a whisper.
“I was caught off guard at the time. And well…”
…?
“Oh! Hold on… When the Sand King made its dramatic entrance, did you get caught up in the blast and pass out?!”
“Shhh, don’t say that so loudly! Others might hear us! A-anyway, I can’t face Her Highness like this. In the worst-case scenario, I might be dismissed from her service…”
……
“So you want me to let you take credit for saving Alice? I’m desperate for glory this time, too! Don’t eat off my plate!”
“Please…! If I get fired and have nowhere to go, could I possibly…you know…like Rose and Grimm…?”
What about Rose and Grimm?
I hope she’s not begging me to marry and support her like Grimm always is.
Backed into a corner, Snow glares at me.
“Why can you never take a hint?! Or are you really just that stupid?! Anyone else would’ve figured out what I’m getting at by now!”
“What the hell are you talking about?! Why are you yelling at me?”
“Why do you two always get into a shouting match the moment you see each other?! Can’t we all just get along?!”
Viper hurriedly tries to insert herself between us, but Combat Agents are pretty much all thugs, Snow notwithstanding. This squabbling’s just our regular form of communication.
“I’ll forgive you today for Vi’s sake, but you won’t be so lucky next time!”
“Th-there are times when I really envy you. I think of just how blissfully easy it would be to say what I want, do what I want, and live life as I please…”
Viper lets out a sigh of relief as we bury the hatchet for the moment.
“Vi, you’re always so tense. Try to relax a little. Here, I’ll lend you the video game, so play it when you want to slack off from work.” I hand the portable console to Viper.
She doesn’t have to be totally useless like us, but I do think this girl should take it easy every now and then.
“N-no, I don’t think it’s good to skip work… But okay, I’ll borrow it for a bit. I’ll return it in a week or so…”
“Only a week? You can keep it forever if you’d like. I mean, I plan to come see you in the office every day anyway.”
Having taken that awful game into her hands, Viper smiles as she bows her head in thanks.
“One week will be plenty… Thank you for everything, Mr. Six.”
As Viper happily cradles the game to her chest, I can’t help but feel uneasy.
I feel like I just caught a glimpse of what they call a “death flag.”
“Hey, Vi…”
“Oh, Viper, there you are.”
Alice appears before I can say anything. If she’s here, I guess Heine fully took over the task of cleaning and shining Mr. Destroyer.
“Ms. Alice, is it time?”
“Yeah, it’s time. All right, let’s get going. Snow, you’re coming with us.”
Time for what?
When I try to go with them, Viper stops me.
“I have a few things left to take care of, so please wait here, Mr. Six.”
Oh, I guess she’s finishing the last of the paperwork for today.
Snow’s probably going with them because she was useless in the fight, and they’re making her help to make up for it.
“All right then, Vi, see you tomorrow.”
As I call out to her, Viper briefly turns back to glance at me.
“…Yes, see you tomorrow.”
She furrows her brow a moment, and her smile seems forced.
As I watch her delicate form recede, I think back to what she said when she took the game from me.
“One week will be plenty… Thank you for everything, Mr. Six.”
I wonder she didn’t just say thank you.
Why did she make it feel like that was the last time she’d speak to me?
I decide to ask her about it when she’s done with her work for the day, but…
…after leaving with Alice, Viper never returns to the hideout.
The announcement that the kingdom of Grace would celebrate the defeat of the Sand King by executing the Demon Lord came the next day.
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