Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 5 - Chapter 2.4

4 

It’s been several days since Heine and Viper arrived at the hideout. 

Seems Viper’s really good at crunching through paperwork, to the point where Alice has given her an office, and she’s busy at work there today. 

“Vi, I’ve got a puzzle here. ‘A fire above, a flood below. Speak my name, and thou shalt pass.’ What do you think that means?” 

As for me, I’m sprawled out on the couch, struggling to figure out a riddle in a game. 

I really did attempt to clear it on my own, but it’s important to know when to accept your limitations and cut your losses. 

Scratching her pen across the paperwork, Viper raises her gaze after a moment. 

“Perhaps it’s the Flaming Sea Monster, the Balubalu Hydra, that’s said to live on an island nation to the far west. It’s a giant monster that has a brightly burning crest, and I’m told that, in order to keep its body temperature in check, it’s always got its lower body soaking in the ocean.” 

“You sure are smart, Vi.” 

In the game’s text box, I enter Flaming Sea Monster Balubalu Hydra. 

“God’s wrath upon the fool who answered incorrectly!” 

Inside the game screen, accompanied by those words, a horde of monsters attack the main character. 

“Vi! Vi!” 

“My apologies! It seems I was wrong! Then the alternative is the Inferno-Frost Divinity, Magmarion. It’s a demigod worshipped by a certain tribe, said to manipulate burning magma and freeze everything it touches with its frost breath.” 

As I input the answer as told, the screen fills with monsters. 

“To the fool who answered incorrectly multiple times, begone!” 

“Looks like that’s wrong, too, Vi!” 

The main character becomes monster food, and I’m shown the game over screen. 

“My apologies! I’m sorry, very sorry! I’ll pay for this with my body…” 

“You need to stop offering your body at the drop of a hat, Vi! I’m a guy, y’know! It’s getting harder and harder to resist!” 

Just then. 

A knock on the office door, followed by Rose making an appearance. 

“Boss, you here? Ms. Alice told me to come play with you just in case you were bugging Ms. Viper.” 

“Oh? I’m not bugging her. I’m just having her help with the puzzles that sometimes show up in this game.” 

“I think that counts as bugging.” 

As Rose hops onto the open spot on my couch, she starts munching on the snacks in the office. 

It’s the moment Alice’s plans fail and the number of useless anchors in the room doubles. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be here to play with me? Why are you munching on snacks, then?” 

“I don’t understand the reason, but I find being in the same room with Ms. Viper really soothing. It’s like it helps me relax and calms me down enough make me sleepy.” 

It’s not really a reason to toss aside her work and start eating snacks, but now that I think of it, she was napping in the Demon Lord’s Castle, too. 

From what I hear, the room Rose was napping in was the same one where the last Demon Lord often lost himself in his research. 

I wonder if that means she’s got some sort of connection to demons of the Demon Lord bloodline… 

“Why are you staring so intently at my face, Boss? I’m not giving you any of these snacks. Ms. Alice is strict in limiting me to one bag a day.” 

Nah, I can’t imagine this airheaded Chimera’s got anything to do with Demon Lords. 

“You know, I didn’t really want any, but after hearing you say that, I wanna take ’em from you. C’mon, hand over the snacks! Resistance is futile!” 

“What, are we fighting? You know I don’t back down when it comes to food. Maybe it’s because I’ve been eating lots of mokemokes in the woods lately, but I feel like I can smash rocks with my fingers when I hold them out like scissors.” 

After carefully placing the snacks on the couch, Rose makes scissors with her index and middle fingers, waving her hand at me threateningly. 

I guess the fact that we haven’t done much fighting lately means this rookie’s getting a little cocky. 

“You’re on. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Last time we fought was in the desert. I held back that time before things got too nasty, but I’m not showing any mercy this time. We’re going all the way.” 

“Hey, I’m sorry. Let’s not do this. You can have some of my snacks. I just have a really bad feeling about this… I mean, not to ask this again, but what exactly did you do to me back then?” 

“I would appreciate it if you could do whatever you’re talking about outside. It would let me focus on my task…” 

As Viper chimes in apologetically, Rose and I agree to a truce to avoid interrupting her work any further. Instead, we sit on the couch eating snacks. 

Seeing us sitting side by side and eating, Viper chuckles softly. 

“When you’re like that, you two look like siblings.” 

Rose and I exchange glances at Viper’s remark. 

“I’d prefer a cute, girlie little sister who regularly comes to me to get doted on.” 

“And I’d prefer a big brother who spoils me and gives me snacks every day.” 

Right as I think Rose and I are about to go at it again, I realize something. 

“Hey, you’ve been here a while now, Vi, but I haven’t heard any updates regarding the negotiations with the kingdom of Grace. They sure are taking their sweet time…” 

I’ve left all the negotiations to Alice, but it seems she’s struggling against the scheming Princess Tillis. 

Rose interjects with her mouth full of food. 

“Yew hafn’t feard? …Gulp. Princess Tillis is showing a little reluctance over the fact that we want to let demons, the longtime enemy of humankind, settle just outside the kingdom.” 

I guess from a Japanese-ish point of view, I feel like the decent thing to do would be to give the poor refugees a place to settle. Having been involved in this war for a while, though, I can understand Tillis’s perspective, too. 

This war’s been going on for way too long. 

Because so many men have died in battle, female soldiers are a common sight these days. That gives you some sense of just how deep the rift is between both sides. 

With each nation having committed to a fight to the finish, having us suddenly show up and announce, We’re taking in the enemy, so let’s play nice, isn’t going to be acceptable to most. 

I mean, this kingdom’s people were so desperate, they were clinging to a prophecy that a Chosen One would arise and defeat the Demon Lord. 

As for the demons, with their lands turned into desert, having Lilith take out that giant lizard and open up the Great Woods for settlement is a huge stroke of luck. 

But given that the Demon Lord’s Army used up most of its money and can’t pay much in reparations, it’s hardly worth celebrating for the kingdom of Grace. 

“Yeah, I can understand not wanting to suddenly be all buddy-buddy with a longtime enemy… I guess the best solution is for the Demon Lord’s Army’s ally nation, Toris, to let them settle there. 

“I can understand why the demons had to go to war, though, given all the land they lost. I mean, I don’t think I’d be able to resist, either, if there wasn’t any food.” 

It’s weirdly convincing when Rose is the one saying it, given she tried to eat me when she was hungry. 

Just then— 

“All Combat Agents assemble in front of the hideout. Don’t forget your weapons. We’re under attack by a giant monster. Get your asses out there ASAP!” 

—an extremely tense announcement from Alice from the hideout’s PA. 

The sudden interruption causes Rose to choke on her snacks as I jump out of the office. I stop by my room to grab my R-Buzzsaw and exit the base.