Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 5 - Chapter 2.3

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After yesterday’s exchange, we returned to the buggy, where Grimm, seemingly incapable of unlocking a car door, was tearfully pounding on the windows. 

We got back to the hideout with Grimm complaining all the way, first about waking up in some random place, then about the fact that there’s more women all of a sudden, but anyway— 

“Hey, Demon Lord, what are you up to this morning?” 

As I approach her with Heine in tow, Viper looks up from her pile of paperwork. 

“Good morning, Mr. Six. When I asked Ms. Alice if there was anything I could do while waiting to learn my fate, she gave me all this…” 

…Wait, so she voluntarily looked for work because she had nothing to do? 

We’re currently discussing Viper’s fate with the kingdom of Grace. 

For the kingdom’s part, they can’t just pin all the blame on the deceased previous Demon Lord and let bygones be bygones. 

In the worst-case scenario, they might just demand Viper’s life as payment. I don’t really think she needs to be looking for work to do under these circumstances, but I guess she’s a diligent girl at heart. 

I glance over at the stack of papers to see what she’s doing, but because they’re in this planet’s language, I can’t make heads or tails of it. 

“What’re you working on?” 

“Oh, this concerns the allocation of materials to the construction site and where to assign laborers, along with the schedule and—” 

I hold up a hand and cut off Viper mid-sentence. 

“I got it. If there’s something you don’t understand, make sure you ask for help.” 

I say this with the air of a dependable superior, and in response, Viper picks up a sheet from the stack. 

“Oh… In that case, I wanted to ask about this subject…” 

“Sorry, Demon Lord, I’m a little busy right now. Ask someone else.” 

“Y-you’re such a…” 

…As Heine directs an exasperated gaze in my direction, Viper, having put the document back, asks a bit shyly: 

“Um… Mr. Six, since I’ve surrendered to the Grace Kingdom, I’m no longer the Demon Lord. So…if you could please call me by my name…” 

Viper then looks up at me, but I can’t help but notice Heine glaring daggers at me. 

“You do know she’s my leader as well as the former Demon Lord, right? Don’t you dare disrespect her…,” says Heine in a threatening whisper. I guess embarrassing nicknames are out… 

“All right, then ‘Vi’ it is!” 

“That’s it, I’m kicking your ass!” 

While Heine breathes fire, for her part, Viper smiles gently as though to say she doesn’t mind. 

“Lady Viper, you may be a prisoner, but you’re still allowed to get mad, you know. If you don’t, he’ll just keep trying to push his luck.” 

“I truly don’t mind how I’m addressed. But let’s move on for now. Heine, have you been given a job?” 

In sharp contrast to the short-tempered Heine, Viper smiles rather serenely. 

“So, Vi, the thing is…Alice had her try a whole bunch of stuff, but it turns out all she’s good at is fighting…” 

“H-hey…! It’s not like you can do anything other than fight, either! L-let me explain, Lady Viper. I tried to help with the construction, but their tools are weird and…” 

As Heine desperately tries to explain… 

…Squeak…squeak… The sounds of a moving wheelchair filter into the room. 

Eventually, the front door to the dorms cracks open, and a pair of eyes eerily peer in… 

What is this, a horror movie? 

“Hey, Grimm, come in already. You’re creeping me out. If you stay over there, I’m gonna throw salt and try to exorcise you.” 

Suddenly, the door flies open to reveal a cranky-looking Grimm. I guess she really didn’t want salt in her eyes. 

“…You seem to be enjoying yourself, hanging out with a former enemy and some girl you met just yesterday. Sigh, Commander, you’re always so forgiving when it comes to women…” 

Grimm’s being her usual needy self, wheeling herself near Heine and shooting her a venomous grin. 

“It’s been a while, Heine of the Flames, pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four. To think that you, our former foe, would end up as the commander’s concubine…” 

“Now wait just a minute! You take that back…” 

A vein on Heine’s forehead twitches at the comment, and Grimm backs away, clearly intimidated. 

…But the moment she notices Heine isn’t in possession of a sorcerer stone, she takes an aggressive stance. 

“Oh, hush. With your abilities stripped away, you’re nothing to be afraid of! I can’t believe you took advantage of the fact that I was stuck inside the buggy to seduce the commander! Have some shame, you home-wrecker!” 

“I honestly didn’t expect anyone to call me a home-wrecker…! I didn’t seduce him or steal him away! I was forced into being his slave!” 

Ignoring the dramatization of Angry Wife versus Jealous Mistress, I call over to Viper. 

“Vi, Vi, it’s loud in here with those two arguing! Let’s go play outside.” 

“Huh…? B-but…I have a lot of paperwork to do…” 

Ordinarily, she shouldn’t have to do anything until a decision has been made regarding her fate, but I guess she’s conscientious to a fault. She’s oddly reluctant to abandon her work. 

“Hold on! Commander, I just heard you call her Vi! When did you two get so close?!” 

“I agree with this gloomy curse-woman! Stop calling her Vi!” 

As Viper responds with a forced smile, Grimm puffs out her cheeks. 

“I mean, I’ve known you longer! I deserve a pet name, too!” 

“…Okay, that’s asking for too much. You’re a little too old for that.” 

Grimm takes out a doll and readies a curse, so I grab Heine and hold her in front of me as a shield. 

“Hey, quit it! If you’re going to bicker, do it outside! Why do I have to get dragged into this?!” 

The fact that I grab Heine tighter to keep her from escaping sends Grimm into an absolute frenzy. 

“How dare you flirt in front of me, you home-wrecker!” 

“How the hell does this register as flirting to you?! Is something wrong with your head?!” 

Just then. 

“Um, Ms. Grimm…was it? I apologize on Heine’s behalf. If you’re going to curse someone, please curse me. I’ll endure any curse intended for her.” 

“Er…” 

Ever the martyr, Viper steps in front of Heine to shield her. 

Grimm lets out a yelp of surprise, while Viper deeply bows her head. 

“I understand. You need not explain your motives. I know you have reasons to hate Heine for killing many of the Grace Kingdom’s soldiers. That is why you’ve been picking a fight with her, is it not? Please use me to take your revenge for the fallen.” 

“Lady Viper, I doubt this witch is thinking that deeply about this. Her reasons aren’t that noble.” 

Viper’s earnest plea succeeds in making Grimm uncomfortable. 

“Commander, isn’t this girl the Demon Lord? This is starting to make me feel like the bad one.” 

“Since you’re the one picking fights at random, I’m pretty sure that does make you the bad one.” 

Shocked by my statement, Grimm takes a moment to collect herself before giving Viper a warm smile. 

“I did come here to pay you back for all my comrades who fell on the battlefield, but I’m over that now. Rankis, who always seemed to stare intently at me as I napped in the middle of the training grounds… Oz, who seemed to have a thing for me and would always kindly push my wheelchair away, telling me I was getting in the way of training… Jed, who eagerly pounced on our fateful meeting by accidentally stepping on a handkerchief I’d dropped and then came sobbing to me begging not to be cursed and promising he would wash it… Heh, the men who I could have had futures with all died before me…” 

“Y-you have my sincere…” 

“Look, you gotta stop claiming any man who looks your way is interested in you. It’s becoming a problem. Just think about how embarrassing it is for me walking next to you.” 

After I interrupt Viper’s attempt to apologize for Grimm’s monologue, Heine chimes in. 

“So, um, is everyone in your squad like this? I took you guys pretty seriously when we fought. This just makes me feel stupid for considering you my rival…” 

H-hey, at the very least, I was taking the fighting seriously, too…! 

The clock strikes ten AM. 

Grimm declared she was going to nap until evening, and Heine and I sat watching over Viper as she did paperwork. A short while later, Alice wandered in carrying a big stack of papers. 

“…Here’s some more work for you, Viper. And what’re you two up to?” 

“As the head of this hideout, I’ve been keeping an eye on Vi.” 

“I’m making sure Six doesn’t do anything weird to Lady Viper.” 

“So you were getting in her way. Look, unlike you two, Viper is good at her job. Here, you can have the game console Lady Lilith left behind. Go play with it over there, Six.” 

I take the handheld console from Alice and plop down on a sofa. 

“Ha, getting yelled at by a brat! If you want to avoid that in the future, stop bugging Lady Viper! Unlike you and I, Lady Viper’s received the highest-quality education to be worthy of the throne. Which is why she’s perfectly capable of governing a city!” 

Heine puffs out her chest as though Viper’s accomplishments are her own, and Alice retorts: 

“Don’t think you’re not part of the problem, either. Now come with me. I’ve figured out your new workplace.” 

Heine insults me as she looks back and forth between Viper and me. 

“Huh?! W-wait, I want to be with Lady Viper…! It’s really risky to leave her alone with this bastard!” 

“I’m a proper gentleman. I have enough restraint to delicately toe the line with people who really want me to leave them alone.” 

“The whole point is that you shouldn’t be doing anything at all! So, Alice, what’s my job going to be? Is helping Lady Viper not good enough?!” 

Reluctant to leave us, Heine keeps the complaints coming. 

“Oh, relax. You’ll be working in a comfortable, welcoming environment and doing important work that makes use of your talents.” 

“What do you mean, my ‘talents’?! Are you going to make me do perverted things similar to what Six is constantly subjecting me to?! Am I cursed to wind up in those situations whenever I run into you guys?!” 

As Heine whines with tears in her eyes, I grow increasingly curious about where she’s going to be assigned. 

“Well, if you’d prefer that sort of work, I guess we can make that happen. But our Combat Agents are all talk and no action. They don’t have the balls to follow through on anything they say to the women they harass. Besides, in our company, we may be lenient with untoward advances to a certain extent, but actual sexual assault is subject to punishment.” 

“R-really?! You’re serious?! I can really trust you, right?” 

As if gaining a measure of hope from Alice’s words, Heine asks for confirmation again and again. 

This is Alice we’re talking about. I’m almost positive she found a better use for Heine than base perversions. 

As the loud one is led away by Alice, the only sound left in the dorm lobby is that of Viper turning pages and running her pen over paper. 

I turn on the game console so I can focus on that instead of interrupting Viper’s work. 

“No, you’ve already gone down this hallway! It’s a dead end! Oh, oh, there’s a monster following you from behind!” 

“But this is the only hallway left! You sure there wasn’t a puzzle on the way here?! Dammit, the monster’s in the way!” 

The game Lilith had been playing is pretty hard, and because I’ve died so many times, it didn’t take long for me to ask Viper for help… 

“Mr. Six, I caught a glimpse of a red button next to one of the torches!” 

Peering into the small screen from next to me, Viper points at the torch in question. 

“Oh, you’re right! Good work, Vi! …Dammit…! Hey, that killed me! This was a switch to a trap door! What now, Vi, what now?!” 

“S-s-sorry, I’m so sorry! That’s my fault; I’ll take full responsibility!” 

Vi’s expression takes on a look of extreme concern over the fact that I died in a game. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Vi. We only got this far because we worked together. I won’t force you to take responsibility for a little mistake like this…” 

“Mr. Six… Yes, you’re right! Let’s focus on getting past this point for now!” 

During our exchange, the main character respawns, depleting one of his lives in the process. 

Viper and I start over, determined to get through this section… 

“…Hey, I hate to interrupt you two while you seem to be having so much fun, but once you’ve made a little more progress, I need you to get back to work.” 

Here comes Alice’s voice, sounding as annoyed as ever. 

I don’t know when she sneaked in, but the android’s back with a brand-new stack of papers. 

“……Er!” 

Viper suddenly turns beet-red and covers her face with both hands. I guess she’s embarrassed for getting too absorbed in the game. 

“Vi, you can’t pretend nothing happened just by hiding your face, Vi. So let’s just get through this level, Vi.” 

Despite the fact that we’re pretty close to getting past this level, she no longer says a peep and isn’t much help anymore. 

Guess I’ll have to finish this on my own!