CHAPTER 1
The Girl Who Welcomes Death
1
It’s been one week since Lilith the Black bombed the defense facilities of the Demon Lord’s Castle.
Lilith, despite showing up with lots of flashy Earth tech in the hope of wowing the locals into subservience, didn’t actually do a whole lot, threw a tantrum, and ended up invading demon territory.
It was believed the Demon Lord’s Army would swiftly open negotiations after being subjected to the overwhelming firepower of a Kisaragi Supreme Leader, but we have yet to hear from Heine.
Plus, with Lilith back on Earth, it’d be difficult to attack the Demon Lord’s Castle again anytime soon.
Which is why, with nothing to do, we’ve been chatting in the base’s rec room, but…
“Hey, Six, look at this!”
Snow suddenly bursts through the door while I’m playing with a video-game console Lilith brought from Earth.
Holding out what appears to be a report of some kind, Snow says in her self-aggrandizing tone:
“I, the capable one, have brought you information about the Demon Lord! Everything from the Demon Lord’s hobbies, gender, special abilities, to even his favorite foods! Go and make use of my information in your negotiations!”
After reading through a bit of Snow’s report, I crumple it up and toss it over my shoulder.
“Wh-what are you doing?!”
“That’s what I should be asking you! What the hell, Snow?! Judging by everything we’ve been through so far, it only makes sense for the Demon Lord to be a beautiful woman or a pretty girl! And she’s supposed to use the royal we and have some archaic accent or something! Kisaragi’s Supreme Leaders are all women! Why? Because that’s how it’s supposed to be! So…”
In spite of all that…
“…why the hell does your report say the Demon Lord is some middle-aged dude?!”
“How should I know?! And why would the Demon Lord be a woman? The Supreme Leaders might all be women where you’re from, but most rulers here are men! Go on, read the rest!”
Sighing, I start reading the sheet of paper as it’s uncrumpled and shoved into my face.
“‘The Demon Lord Mehlmehl: a powerful being who has ruled over the demon territory for the last two hundred years. He appears to be a middle-aged man with horns. He originally maintained a reasonable distance from humanity, but having had much of his territory turned into desert by the giant monster known as the Sand King, he suddenly began an invasion of the kingdom of Grace. After a long period of war that saw both the Demon Lord’s Army and the human army suffer heavy losses, the royal seer prophesized the awakening of the Chosen One, the death of the Demon Lord, and the arrival of a short-term peace for humanity. However, the Chosen One appears to be missing in action, and the seer was fired for giving inaccurate predictions…’
“…Hey, this part about the seer getting fired bothers me. If Alice and I hadn’t shown up, the prophecy might not have been wrong.”
The Chosen One should’ve been the one to defeat the Demon Lord, just like in the stories.
Adding an irregular element to the mix (namely us) seems to have thrown things out of whack.
…I mean, this planet just happens to closely resemble a fantasy world. It’s not like we’re actually in a video game or a novel, so it’s probably fine if things aren’t totally by the book.
Still, I feel a little guilty about it…
“You say that, but the seer’s already been banished. Besides, why should we believe in some sketchy prophecy? When the seer was still around, they couldn’t even properly forecast the price of commodity futures!”
“You’re a real piece of work, you know that…? We’ve always had our hands full fighting for survival. Let’s leave the past in the past.”
If I ever run into the seer, I’ll apologize and buy them a cup of coffee.
Putting that aside…
“‘He has an arrogant, greedy personality, but he is dedicated to securing prosperity for the demons. The invasion should have demonstrated our power to the demons, so if we hint at the risks to his people, we should have an advantage in negotiations…’ You are a knight, right? You’re not actually part of an evil organization like us, are you?”
Snow’s notes sound awfully similar to something you’d read in a Kisaragi report.
I’ve always thought she was shady, but this is enough to turn me off.
“It’s precisely because I am a knight of this kingdom. I put my nation before any other and pray death swiftly befalls my enemies. When you meet the Demon Lord, you should try that line of questioning on him. I have no doubt he’ll answer the same way. As I was doing my research, I couldn’t help but feel a certain kinship with him…”
Wow, she really was sympathizing with the Demon Lord…
For the sake of this country, maybe I should do something about her first.
At least she’s hot. I bet she’d make a good hostess.
But just as I consider knocking her out from behind and sending her to one of the Kisaragi-run hostess clubs on Earth…
“Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you’d disappeared to. If you’re not doing anything, come lend me a hand.”
…Alice appears in the rec-room doorway, shotgun and backpack in tow.
Previously, Supreme Leader Lilith had ordered:
“You two are to begin espionage and invasion preparations on the surrounding kingdoms, using this hideout as your base.”
She’d also said:
“In parallel, you will be responsible for founding a city capable of supporting human life in this area, with this fortress at its center. Bring life back to these wastelands, tame those woods, and create a foundation for settling earthlings on this planet!”
Since we haven’t taken care of the Demon Lord problem, we can’t start spying on surrounding kingdoms.
Meaning the only work we can do at the moment is the other task: settling this forest…
“Six, the treants are headed your way! Not only are they a great source of lumber, but their leaves can be sold as magic supplies! Don’t let them get by you!”
“Yeah right! I’m a Combat Agent, not a lumberjack!”
I’m currently with Alice and Snow in the woods near our base.
“Don’t be like that, partner. We’re seriously short on building materials. We gotta save up on Evil Points. I’ll give you some spending money when we’re done, all right?”
“Don’t think you can just buy me off with spending money every time! I’m only taking gold coins! Shiny ones at that!”
As the trees—er, treants run away using their roots as legs, I ready my R-Buzzsaw.
Treants are the walking-tree creatures you occasionally see in fantasy games and stuff.
I’ve given up dwelling on the weird creatures on this planet. It’s pointless to question why trees would move around.
It’s a world with magic, after all. There might even be a world with killer vegetables somewhere in this vast universe.
As I struggle with the injustice of this planet’s ecosystem, Snow calls out from behind.
“Wait, Six! If there’s a steady supply of gold coins to be had, I’ll take up woodcutting!”
“A-are you serious?! If you ditch the whole knight thing, your boobs’ll be the only positive trait you have left! …Hey, there’s something in the trees!”
As I turn around in exasperation, I notice one of the trees has a bunch of round things stuck to it that resemble black ping-pong balls.
“…Hmm? Ah, mipyokopyoko eggs. Great, let’s grab them.”
Snow then goes to casually pick them up, but I seem to recall that name being…
“Hold on, aren’t mipyokopyokos the things that blow up? What are you going to do with the eggs of a creature that dangerous?”
“Mipyokopyoko eggs won’t explode if you don’t subject them to shock. You can use them as weapons and throw them at enemies. And if you dry them out and grind them into powder, they become a potent fire starter. In other words, they’re valuable.”
Man, she really does have money on the brain twenty-four seven.
“Don’t leave them in your room at the hideout and accidentally hatch them.”
“I’d never do something that stupid. These don’t hatch unless they’re exposed to pure moonlight for an extended period of time. Nothing will happen if you leave them in the dark.”
Still, between treants, mokemokes, and these tongue-twister mystery monsters, this world really is full of weird creatures.
As I grab the mipyokopyoko eggs, my mind wanders.
“Hey, morons! The treants are getting away!”
““Oh.””
A while later, Alice addresses us in front of the pile of lumber in the hideout’s storehouse.
“Well done, you two. Here’s your payment. Remember, we have more to do tomorrow.”
With the war against the Demon Lord’s Army suspended, all available Combat Agents other than me are off gathering materials.
In the storehouse, there’s also stone from the mountains and piles of ores.
“Whoo-hoo, a shiny gold coin! I’m gonna drown in booze tonight!”
“Hey, Six. If you’re going drinking, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind having this peerless beauty accompany you.”
After receiving my pay from Alice, who looks all of twelve years old, I’m in a pretty good mood.
“Screw that! You’re just planning to leech off me, aren’t you?! ‘Peerless beauty’ my ass. Now that I know what you’re like on the inside, I barely consider you a lady!”
“Heh-heh, you clearly don’t know anything about women. Having a tiny flaw or two makes us more relatable and approachable.”
Your issues are just as huge as your tits.
“Look, if you buy me dinner, I’ll pour your drinks for you! I’ve been in survival mode for so long that I really miss eating out!”
“You just got a gold coin! Treat yourself! And what do you mean by ‘survival mode’? …Wait. You did get your coin, didn’t you?”
Hang on a sec, did Alice only pay me?
Hearing my question, Alice looks over while wearing an expression that seems to say, Of course.
“For now, I’m funneling Snow’s income into paying off her loans.”
“Which is why, to reduce my living expenses as much as possible, I’ve been gathering things that seem edible from the woods. You’re my commander, remember? You have to make sure your troops stay fed!”
The former captain of the Royal Guard has sure fallen far.
“Oh, so I’m your commander again, am I? Just the other day, you were talking about how you wanted nothing to do with me… Hey, there’s no point in shoving your boobs up against me. I can’t feel them through my power armor.”
Snow has been firmly pressing her chest against my arm, but discovering her advances aren’t very effective, she gives herself a squeeze instead.
“You bastard… I remember how you ogled me when we first met! What the hell? Have you found a new target to harass? Are you seriously going to claim you’ve found someone better?! I’m pretty confident in these! They’re the best breasts in the kingdom, if I say so myself! Commander, please! Feed your poor, starving soldier!”
“J-just how far are you going to fall…? I’ll buy you dinner, so stop feeling yourself up already…”
Ordinarily, I’d shut up and enjoy the show, but this is just too sad to consider sexy.
Watching my pitiable subordinate celebrate, something else comes to mind.
“Hey, speaking of troops, what are Rose and Grimm up to?”
“Those two did their daily training at the castle, then went to seek an audience with Princess Tillis. They mentioned wanting to discuss the future…”
Well, I guess those two are technically soldiers of this kingdom.
And while Rose formally became a Combat Agent Recruit the other day, she hasn’t signed the contracts for her salary and other matters yet.
Wait…
“Those two are working, but you, the knight, are off making money on side jobs?”
“It seems you’ve forgotten my job is to keep an eye on you. And a knight’s role during peacetime is to preserve that peace. That means watching after you troublemakers is my responsibility. In other words, this is my top priority, not a side hustle.”
Snow says this with a serious expression as she busily stuffs the eggs she plundered into a bag.
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