Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 4 - Chapter 5.4

4 

“I know, I know. I’m well aware, given that I make plenty of mistakes. It’s why everyone calls me the useless boss. And you, Combat Agent Six, are the one who’s called me that most often.” 

We’re in the middle of a wasteland without any cover in sight. 

If we make our stand here, they’ll undoubtedly spot us, even at a distance. 

At the very least, our parachute drop must’ve been visible from the entire Demon Lord’s Kingdom, and according to Alice, the Demon Lord’s Army is converging on us. 

Which means… 

…not only are we going to face several thousand soldiers, but they’ll be getting a steady stream of reinforcements. 

“Are you serious, Lady Lilith? That’s the core of the Demon Lord’s Army! In effect, it’s their entire military! See those dark-brown boobs up in front? That’s one of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four, Heine of the Flames.” 

Yes, at the head of the Demon Lord’s Army, unmoving as though wary of us, stands Heine of the Flames, her arms crossed over her chest. 

“Ah, one of the competition’s leaders who you mentioned in your reports. I’m not afraid of a pair of tits. Size isn’t everything. Mine are quite well shaped!” 

My flat boss adds some irrelevant information as she and Alice ready themselves for combat without sparing another glance at the forces in front of us. 

“…Um, Lady Lilith, what are you doing? Also, are you really planning to fight them?” 

I can understand Rose’s concerns. 

“I’m just making preparations so that, in the worst case, I can go all out.” 

Their preparations aren’t much. 

They’re just arranging the stockpile of heavy weapons sent over by the teleporter around Lilith. 

“As for the second question on whether I actually mean to fight… Well, let my actions speak for themselves.” 

Surrounded by mortars on all sides, Lilith actually seems quite chipper. 

What’s going on? Is she just getting an adrenaline rush before battle? 

This gloomy character isn’t usually one to enjoy this sort of all-out brawl. 

“Hey, Six, I’m starting to set up, so carry this next to Lady Lilith.” 

“…? Miss Alice, what’s that?” 

“This is a relay interface that lets people other than me create a satellite link. We’ll take the cord from it and stick the end into one of Lady Lilith’s holes.” 

“Phrasing! Alice, that phrasing is wrong on so many levels. Rose, don’t take it in a weird way. My body has an interface device embedded in it through modification surgery so I can interact with machines like this. That’s an important detail, so remember it. I have more openings on my body than most people. And I don’t mean that in a sexual way.” 

While Lilith is busy digging her own grave, we continue readying ourselves for combat. 

Lilith takes the countless cords stretching from the heavy weaponry, pulls them into her lab coat, and does something with them. 

…What the heck is happening under her lab coat? I really want to know. 

“Lady Lilith, should I help you with plugging in those cords?” 

“No thanks. If I let you help, it’s definitely going to end in tragedy. Specifically, a perverted tragedy.” 

Seeing countless unfamiliar heavy weapons, the Demon Lord’s Army, with Heine at the helm, looks increasingly wary. 

“Hey, Alice, shouldn’t we stop this? I feel like it’s going to end with a literal bang.” 

“I figure Lady Lilith’s got a lot of pent-up frustration from having been away from you for so long. This spare-no-expense, overwhelming display of firepower doubles as stress relief. She’s targeting the competition; let’s just sit back and let her do her thing.” 

I suppose that sort of ruthless pragmatism is to be expected of an android with a heart of metal. 

“…However, the points Lady Lilith had saved up were originally meant for the final battle on Earth. If she uses this much firepower on this planet, she’s going to burn through her points and end up in the negatives after a volley or two.” 

As one of the Supreme Leaders of the Kisaragi Corporation, Lilith’s got an insane number of Evil Points. She’s probably earned enough just off the various terrible weapons she’s invented over the years to rank first or second in Kisaragi itself. 

However… 

“Aren’t those the precious points she’s supposed to spend fighting superheroes and giant robots? The math doesn’t make any sense.” 

“Yeah. Ammo sent from Earth is priced way higher than usual… She’s probably thinking that using up all her points here and falling into the red isn’t that terrible an outcome.” 

…Going back to Earth with a negative point balance means punishment, after all. 

Seeing my puzzled expression, Alice gives a cheerful little shrug. 

By now, the cords from the various weapons have all been plugged into Lilith. 

The Demon Lord’s Army, which has been warily keeping its distance, finally begins to move. 

To be specific, Heine, their leader, starts walking toward us. 

Once she’s about twenty meters away, Heine calls out— 

“Hey, Combat Agent Six. What are you doing out here? Are you up to one of your schemes again?” 

Heine’s already aware what’s going on, and she smirks as she addresses us. 

“Or is it that after drawing me away with your decoys, you were planning to go after His Lordship?” 

…Damn, she’s really onto us. 

I mean, there’s no other reason for us to be out here at the same time as Tiger Man’s offensive. 

“I still consider you a worthy opponent…which means if you want a fight, you’re getting the whole army. Don’t complain about fairness, okay? There’s no other way to beat you and your machinations.” 

…Why is she taking the trouble of warning us? 

“…But if you’re willing to surrender so we can swap you for Russell in a hostage exchange, we’ll consider listening.” 

Oh, I see. She hasn’t given up on getting Russell back. 

Unfortunately, it’s much too late for him. 

I mean, the fact that he’s stopped objecting to dressing up like a girl among other things kinda makes it seem like he’s already settled in, but it’s more than that. He’s learned the joys of having the Combat Agents depend on him to make their meals and do their laundry. He enjoys taking care of them in general. 

Just then. 

“Six, is that one of the leaders of the Demon Lord’s Army?” 

Her preparations complete, Lilith calls over to me. 

“Yes, that’s one of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four, Heine of the Flames.” 

Hearing that, Lilith orders a PA speaker and calls out toward Heine— 

“<Test, test. You, Boob Girl. Can you hear me?>” 

Heine tilts her head at the sudden, booming voice calling out to her in Japanese, at which point, Lilith addresses them in the local language. 

“We come bearing a message for the leadership of the Demon Lord’s Army. We urge you to surrender to us. This is a warning. If you insist on fighting, in the name of Lilith the Black, this land will become a burning hellscape.” 

…Other than Heine, who looks a bit surprised at the ultimatum, the rest of the demons break out in raucous laughter. 

While they hoot and holler, Heine, the only one not howling, slowly raises her hand. The laughter immediately stops. 

“Since this is coming from your side, I doubt that threat is hollow. Six, who is that?” 

Still on her guard, Heine calls over to me. 

“This is my boss and one of our Supreme Leaders, Lady Lilith.” 

“O-one of your Supreme Leaders…” 

Since she’s already acknowledged us as fierce adversaries, this news causes Heine to break out in a cold sweat. 

“Alice’s example taught us not to underestimate anyone, not even a child. I mean, if she’s this calm facing this giant army, there must be at least a speck of truth to those words.” 

The increasingly wary Heine once again waits for us to make the next move. 

Seeing this, Lilith smiles faintly, as though things are moving as expected. 

“…Well, what’s it going to be, Heine of the Flames? Will you surrender? A fight will hurt my wallet, so I’d prefer a peaceful solution.” 

Lilith’s casual attitude, indicating she doesn’t much care which way things turn out, makes Heine even more cautious. 

It’s easy enough to see that Heine’s seriously considering how to respond to Lilith and the mysterious weapons surrounding her. 

“…We can’t just back down to a handful of people. You sure you don’t want to surrender? If you give us back Russell, we’ll make sure to let you go… Your whole group’s made up of young girls. Demons are pretty bloodthirsty. If a fight breaks out, I won’t be able to stop ’em.” 

…Ah, it’s come to threats. 

But that’s war for you. 

We’re an evil organization. We’ve seen plenty of awful scenes. 

That’s why I speak up next. 

“Hear that, Alice? Heine’s over there babbling nonsense about Lady Lilith surrendering. Seems she doesn’t think much of Kisaragi, does she?” 

As my words ring out across the wasteland, Heine’s and (for some reason) Lilith’s eyes widen in shock. 

“Hah! They struggle enough with Six and me, yet they’re going after Lady Lilith? They must have a death wish. If Lady Lilith wants to, she could easily vaporize everyone here in five seconds. I guess this is it for Heine. She might be our enemy, but I’ll miss her…” 

As Alice picks up the thread, Heine goes deathly pale. 

…Is it just my imagination, or did Lilith do the same? 

“W-wait! W-w-we’re not disrespecting her…!” 

“S-S-Six! Alice! I’m negotiating right now. Just hang on a minute.” 

Having come this far, I’ve made my peace with whatever happens. 

Let’s push it as far as it can go. 

“Lady Lilith, leave it to me. We might not be much compared to your power, but we can at least stay out of the way and cover your back.” 

“And leave the support to me. If you end up hurt, I’ll make sure to patch you up!” 

Ignoring the panicking Lilith and Heine, we prep our weapons. 

I have no idea what I can do against this giant army with just my R-Buzzsaw. 

But… 

“Lady Lilith can take out an army this size without breaking a sweat! Even if we lose, know that most of you aren’t getting home alive!” 

“Yeah, you guys are finished! Your opponent is Lilith the Black. There’s a reason she’s got the world’s highest bounty on her head!” 

As Alice and I shout out our challenges, the Demon Lord’s Army stirs. 

Responding to our aggressive posture, Heine calls out to us, shivering. 

“Y-y-y-you’re really going to do this?! F-f-f-f-fine! You’re going to fight this army?! You’re sure?! Absolutely sure?! I can’t afford to have you disrespect me in front of my troops! I mean, it’s a little late, given that I got sent to the castle in a compromising position thanks to Six, b-b-but I still can’t afford it!” 

“F-f-f-fine, let’s do this! I can’t show any weakness in front of my subordinates, either! Although, thanks to Six, my authority as a boss is pretty much wrecked.” 

The two of them exchange glances and, after a moment, let out sighs of relief— 

“B-but, you know, we’ve already fought Tiger Man and suffered a lot of casualties. So maybe we’ll pull back and call it a stalemate!” 

“G-good point! Attacking you after Tiger Man’s retreat would feel like I was just stealing his thunder! I couldn’t do that! And no doubt we took a little damage ourselves, so we can let you go here…” 

Keeping my R-Buzzsaw at the ready, I hurl an insult in support of Lilith at the Demon Lord’s Army behind Heine. 

“You pathetic bastards, you think you can disrespect Kisaragi and get away with it?! You losers are all dead meat! Alice, Rose, tell ’em!” 

“Hah, they’re not even worth killing. We’ll capture you all and use you in my experiments!” 

“A-as a Battle Chimera, fighting’s in my blood! Lots of you look delicious! I’ll go all out!” 

I keep trash-talking as the two leaders look on with pale, shocked faces. 

“We’re the evil organization the Kisaragi Corporation! We’re not afraid of some Demon Lord’s Army or whatever! Come all at once, if you dare—!” 

With support from her precious subordinates, Lilith also lets out a yell. 

“Don’t taunt them!”