Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 4 - Chapter 2.8

8 

Having recovered the loot and the poop, I return to our temporary headquarters in the park. 

“Tch, that was awful… I usually prefer staying in. This is the last time we’re doing that, okay…?” 

With the pockets of her lab coat bulging with gems, Lilith flops onto the grass, muttering complaints. 

I returned on my own, and Lilith, unable to attack the Sky King, appears to have jammed as many gems as she could into her pockets and fled. 

“What happened to Snow?” 

“…The Sky King hauled her away when she refused to drop her loot. Since your rope’s still tied to the nest, I’m sure it’ll let her go when she gives up on the treasure.” 

I can’t imagine that greedy woman coming home empty-handed, so it doesn’t look like we’ll see her again for a while. 

After lying on the ground for a bit, Lilith sits up. Alice is there, shirking her hideout-construction duties apparently, so Lilith calls to her. 

“Alice, lend me a hand here, will you? We’re going to start on pesticide development.” 

Gazing into a bucket a short distance away, Alice doesn’t even bother looking at her when responding. 

“Yeah, welcome back or whatever, Lady Lilith. Right now, I’m busy with my orange-crawfish observations, so if you need help with one of your useless ideas, check back later.” 

“It’s not useless! And hey, that’s my crawfish! I got it in exchange for my work!” 

Alice seems focused on the small mokemoke Snow’s been keeping. 

“Alice, do you know how this country meets its food needs? It’s fascinating. They use hydroponics inside factories.” 

“I knew that.” 

“Isn’t that surprising?! And the reason for that is…” 

Lilith freezes after Alice responds without taking her eyes off the bucket. 

“The farms are getting attacked by flying monsters, yeah? I’ve known that for ages and have been working on methods to change that inefficient model.” 

…… 

“…Wait, hold on a minute. Really? Well then, let me hear what you’ve come up with.” 

Aware that our day’s labor may go to waste, Lilith waits with sweat trickling down her brow. 

“This planet’s monsters seem to have a habit of avoiding places that smell like powerful creatures. This is why I forced Tiger Man to give up some of his pee…” 

“Again with the pee?! Why are you all so obsessed with organic waste?!” 

I try to cheer Lilith up as she holds her head and screams. 

“Calm down, Lady Lilith. I mean, you’re still technically a Supreme Leader and an upstanding lady. You shouldn’t be saying ‘pee’ over and over.” 

“I’m not repeating it because I want to! …So did it work?” 

Alice finally looks up from the bucket. 

“No, Tiger Man’s pee didn’t have much of an effect. But waste from a stronger creature should solve that problem… Hey, Lady Lilith, could you come over and fill this bucket with…?” 

“Not another word! Here. Use the stuff Six brought back.” 

Interrupting Alice, Lilith snatches the bag from my hands and holds it out. 

“Alice, use this to complete the development of the pesticide. In the meantime, I’ll…” 

Lilith then reaches into her pockets and takes out some glittering gems… 

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Look, Six! Gems! And they’re gems I’ve never even seen on Earth! No doubt they’ll be worth a fortune if I take them back home…” 

“Those are glass orbs you can find just lying on the ground around here. They look different because of the difference in atmospheric composition, but they’ll return to ordinary glass the moment you take them back to Earth.” 

Lilith throws the rock in her hand. 

“H-how can that be?! Alice, try appraising the other rocks. I’m sure there’s at least one that’s worth a lot…” 

“No, they’re all pretty much worthless… Oh, hey, this one’s a tourmaline. At this size, you can sell it for about three hundred yen.” 

After Alice finishes her appraisal, Lilith falls to her knees. 

Ignoring her, I take out the coins and Sky King feathers I stuffed into my backpack. 

“I brought gold coins and shed feathers as souvenirs. Snow claims the feathers can be sold for a pretty penny.” 

“Good work, partner. I’ll keep the feathers for research and handle the coins. I’ll use them to do some investments and trading, so lemme know when you’re short on money.” 

Whoo-hoo! Guess I’m drinkin’ tonight! 

…Lilith enviously watches our exchange, muttering to herself. 

“Hey, Alice, aren’t you pampering Six a bit too much? I’m your creator. I’ll lend you some money, so could you use your information sources to—?” 

“Do it yourself.” 

…Looks like Alice really is in a rebellious phase. She coldly dismisses Lilith without a second thought. 

4 

Three hours after we start drilling the well. 

“Lady Lilith, there’s no water coming out, the crowd left, and I’m getting bored.” 

“This is really odd, given that we’re using a super-high-tech Kisaragi drill. Well, in theory, if we keep digging and digging, something’ll come out eventually. Let’s just leave it running on autopilot.” 

It’s an incredibly expensive piece of equipment that no Combat Agent would have the Evil Points to requisition, but a Supreme Leader like Lilith can just leave it running. 

As I’m watching the drilling, Snow comes by and asks: 

“Hey, Six, are you sure this’ll actually produce water? If so, I’m thinking of borrowing some money and buying up the land around here.” 

Water in this kingdom is precious. 

If the well starts producing again, the surrounding land is going to shoot up in value. 

That’s definitely true, but… 

“Far be it from me to mention, but lately, there’s been no trace of chivalry to your actions. What happened to the proud knight I first met?” 

“Quiet, Six. Knights have to eat and put clothes on their backs. I need money to survive. I don’t want to hear it from someone who’s getting an allowance from Alice.” 

Lilith watches our exchange and chuckles. 

“You know, despite it all, you two seem pretty close. Heh-heh, Six, shouldn’t you be more careful? If Astaroth sees you like this…” 

She snickers teasingly. 

“Can you knock it off, Lady Lilith? We’re really not like that. Not with this one.” 

“On this, we agree. I’d prefer someone with money.” 

“I—I see… Sorry about that. I didn’t expect you two to so vigorously deny it… Anyway, let’s leave the rest to the drill, and—” 

I interrupt Lilith before she can finish. 

“Hey, Snow, next! C’mon, next! I’m pretty good at solving problems in developing countries. After water, we need to deal with food! With Lilith’s brains, we can do a tech transfer to get you all the food you could possibly need! Viva la Lilithification!” 

“H-hold on!” 

Despite Lilith looking like she wants to say something, we drag her along to our next destination… 

“This is our kingdom’s farming facility.” 

The two of us look up at the building. 

“Lady Lilith. This just looks like a normal factory to me.” 

“Yes, Six, this is, indeed, a factory.” 

It’s a modern building that looks completely out of place on a fantasy world. 

In stark contrast to its surroundings sits a concrete factory that wouldn’t be out of place in Japan. 

“What do we do, Lady Lilith? Factory farming? Only a handful of places do that on Earth. I don’t think Lilithification is gonna work here.” 

“W-well, hold on, Six. It’s too early to panic. Let’s take a look inside and see if they’re actually doing hydroponics here.” 

Lilith suggests this with naked confusion before stepping foot into the factory. 

“Huh…? What the hell is this…?” mutters Lilith, in a daze as she peeks inside. I follow her into the building. 

“…Lady Lilith, I have to admit I underestimated the bastards of this kingdom. They’re more ruthless than I thought.” 

“Yeah, I thought they were better people until I saw this…” 

It’s closer to a forced-labor camp than a factory. 

Inside, orcs and other humanoid creatures are working farm plots. 

Above the plots float mysterious objects, which resemble fireflies and emit a bright light, illuminating the enclosed factory space. 

“Snow, get your ass over here.” 

“Six, it’s slavery. Fantasy is scary. Developing countries are super scary. Prisoners have no rights here…” 

Snow looks puzzled that we’re taken aback. 

“What? Your farms don’t make use of livestock?” 

“Lady Lilith, she just called them livestock.” 

“Well, sure, we used to employ beasts of burden back in the day for hard labor and stuff…but humanoids? No, nothing like that. We used horses and cows for plowing fields, but this sort of thing is generally frowned upon…” 

Japan had a slavery system for farming back in the Warring States period, and given the level of culture and technology here, I suppose slaves and serfs were to be expected, but… 

“I don’t know what hang-ups you’re having, but this is a mutually beneficial and highly efficient system. We capture relatively tame wild orcs who can’t survive on their own, protect them, and provide them with food in exchange for working our fields. Once they reach the end of their life spans, we show our appreciation by eating them. Seems like a very rational system if you ask me…” 

“This is evil, Six. Pure evil. She just said they exploit their labor and then eat them when they die… They eat humanoids!” 

Despite being a Supreme Leader, Lilith’s a bit of a lightweight who’s now recoiling from Snow. 

“Yep, they eat those humanoid monsters. And did you know they can even speak our languages?” 

“Pure evil. Six, this is pure, depraved evil!” 

We reel from the realization that this kingdom’s farming system is so ruthlessly efficient that it puts an evil organization to shame. Snow tilts her head and quips: 

“You did the same thing, yes? Aside from the fact that they resemble humans and can speak, what’s the difference? Here, in this otherwise dangerous world, they can live lives of relative peace. In exchange, we get labor and meat. It’s the whole WIN-WIN situation you two are so fond of.” 

“Yeah…that’s not quite it…” 

“They’re your farming companions, yet you eat them in the end? I don’t get that part. Not one bit.” 

This must be the difference between civilized people and barbarians. 

“Your country must be extremely peaceful and rich in food…” 

I mean, the orcs don’t exactly look oppressed. 

Ethics aside, it’s certainly rational… 

…Lilith points at one of the lights as if to change the subject. 

“What are those floating things? They’re too big and too bright to be fireflies. I mean, they’re bright enough to raise crops.” 

Guess her curiosity as a scientist is overriding her other instincts. 

“Oh, those are fairies.” 

““Fairies…”” 

Hearing Snow’s serious tone, we repeat the word in unison. 

“Yes, fairies. They’re tame creatures that can’t survive without clean water, so in this region, where water is scarce, they’re having quite the tough time. We have them live inside our factory so that they can shine their lights. This allows us to grow vegetables year-round.” 

Upon closer inspection, we notice faint humanoid shapes within the intense lights. 

These bastards… If they can find a use for them, they’ll even exploit adorable creatures. 

I’m starting to think Kisaragi’s the model of corporate social responsibility. 

“…Wait, why are you so fixated on farming indoors? Sure, the sun’s a little strong, but you have plenty of land. Wouldn’t it be better to farm outside?” 

“…? Are the farms of your home world not plagued by flying monsters?” 

Oh yeah, this is a fantasy world. 

Yeah, if a giant flying monster like a griffin landed on a farm, the crops wouldn’t last very long. 

“You know, this planet’s pretty harsh… There are obviously upsides to conquering it, but…” 

“Doing something about that is your job, Lady Lilith. You can Lilithificate things by teaching them how to deal with flying pests.” 

Although crows are the worst of the airborne scourges in Japan, I constantly catch glimpses of things like wyverns on this planet. 

An antipest net won’t do much good against those. 

“…Wellll, all right. We could try surrounding the farms with giant cages. No, no, that’s not much different from the factory-farming system they’ve got now… Do we exterminate the flying vermin? …Given that we’re already struggling with the monsters in the woods, that’s not going to be easy…” 

Lilith folds her arms against her chest, muttering to herself in thought. 

Still, the only thing I can think of is to put automated antiair gun turrets in the middle of the farm. 

Let’s leave the thinking to the smart people… 

“Pesticides! Pesticides are the answer, Six! Let’s scatter some powerful pesticides and grow crops that the monsters can’t eat! It’s perfect. I’ve got a fantastic pesticide I developed a long time ago. It was so strong, it’d even kill people. Monsters stand no chance against it!” 

“Okay, Lady Lilith, now I’m sure you’re just plain crazy.” 

I mean, all she needs to do is drive away the pests, not kill them. 

…Oh, wait! 

“I know! Lady Lilith, I have a great idea! Pee! Pee is the key! You’re ultra-powerful, Lady Lilith, so give me some of your pee!” 

“I’m sorry, what? If you take one more step in my direction, I will shoot you.” 

Seems even with her genius intellect, Lilith can’t quite comprehend the pee solution. 

“Why are you being so difficult, Lady Lilith…? If you’re opposed to it, I’ll go ask for Tiger Man’s pee instead.” 

“I’m so sorry, Six. It seems you need some rest. You should take a vacation to somewhere like Hokkaido. Rest up in the great outdoors and come back refreshed in body and soul.” 

As Lilith stares at me with eyes full of genuine pity, I explain myself. 

“…I see you’re getting involved in nonsense as usual. I mean, how the hell did you even convince Tiger Man to cooperate?” 

Hey now, no need to look at me like I’m stupid. 

“He made a fuss about it, so I told him it was under your orders.” 

“And you wonder why my reputation is so bad! It’s all your fault! Also, the reason Tiger Man’s urine works is because its properties instinctively incite fear on a bestial level, like territorial marking. Mine wouldn’t have the same effect.” 

Lilith glares suspiciously at me as she backs away. 

“Well, we won’t know for sure until we try. Only losers never try.” 

“Shut up! Why do you only get motivated over weird things like this? That’s not your character type! Also, I’m totally telling Astaroth about this.” 

Snow seems a little put off by our discussion, but then she grows contemplative. 

“…Well, the suggestion sounds like the ramblings of a moron, but it might be worth a try.” 

“I thought the only idiots on this rock were our Combat Agents, but I guess I was wrong. I swear, everyone around me is a hopeless moron!” 

“Since even Snow is suggesting we try it, why not just take one for the team, Lady Lilith? We’ll look the other way.” 

Lilith’s tentacles writhe beneath her lab coat as she tries to intimidate me. 

“No, the idea I said was worth trying is using the waste of powerful monsters.” 

Lilith and I just exchange a glance after hearing Snow’s calm explanation. 

5 

The Sand King, a giant mole that lives in the desert. 

The Forest King, a giant lizard that, according to Snow, lives in the woods near our hideout. 

Apparently, there’s also a giant monster that rules this planet’s skies… 

“Hold on there, Snow. I get from your description that this ‘Sky King’ is an impressive creature. I also understand that the scent of such a beast’s pee would definitely terrify most other monsters, but…” 

Lilith’s expression becomes serious. 

“I’m a scientist, not a Combat Agent. Sure, as a Supreme Leader, I can fight, but this sounds a bit outside my wheelhouse.” 

“Stop making excuses, Lady Lilith. If you can take out this Whatever King, we can start developing the land around here. This is the time for our Supreme Leader to show us why she’s fit to lead.” 

Leaving the city of Grace, we’re now making our way across the barren wastelands. 

“Heh, I’ve got pretty sharp ears, you know. I’ve already heard the rumors. Lady Lilith’s powers have put settling the Cursed Forest in reach. Not only that, but I’ve also heard she defeated countless monsters and savages single-handedly…” 

I have no idea where she got this information, but Snow rattles off her knowledge with a cocky smile. 

“I’ve seen glimpses of your many talents, Lady Lilith. No doubt with your power, we could even defeat the Great Beasts…” 

“Well, sure, I probably could. I’m a Supreme Leader, after all. I may be the least suited for combat out of all the Supreme Leaders, but based on its name, it’s a flying monster, right? Then it’s a perfect target for my specialty: ranged attacks. But I hardly think gathering its pee should be my job.” 

“Could you quit bellyaching and just get it done, Lady Lilith? Look, I’ll give you this golden beetle I found on this planet.” 

“In that case, I’m willing to give you this orange mokemoke hatchling. I captured it in the woods, thinking it’d be worth a fortune to a collector.” 

The beetle I show her draws Lilith’s interest, but she’s still less than enthusiastic. 

“Just what do you take me for anyway? I mean, the beetle and the crawfish are interesting, so I’ll take them, but I feel like you’re trying to bribe me… Besides, we were originally discussing technology transfers. How did that turn into me fighting a giant monster? As I keep telling you, I’m a scientist. I’m a researcher. Neither are the same as a Combat Agent.” 

An unusual trinket or two is usually enough to mollify her, but she’s being awfully contentious today. 

“Lady Lilith, you’re a huge fan of Monster Panda , right? This is just like the giant-monster-hunting quests in the game. The only difference is that we’re doing it in real life. C’mon, Lady Lilith, come hunt with me.” 

…… 

“Hunting quest… Hunting quest…” 

Lilith the Gamer takes the bait. 

I just need one more push. 

“Based on the name, I bet the Sky King’s a dragon! Don’t you want to see a dragon? The thing you killed in the forest was a lizard, but this time, it’ll be an actual dragon. I mean, why don’t we take out this Sky King or whatever and become dragonslayers?” 

“Dragonslayer… Dragon… Dragon…” 

Lilith’s eyes brighten. 

“A 23mm antiaircraft gun for Six, a heat-seeking missile launcher for me…” 

As Lilith begins planning for an aerial battle against the yet-unknown monster… 

“Six, I don’t mean to complain when I’m the one who got Lady Lilith so fired up about this, but what are you scheming? You’re being awfully cooperative today.” 

“There’s a dangerous, giant monster hiding out in the skies around here, right? Then we should use the opportunity to get her to take it out. Otherwise, it’ll become my problem sooner or later.” 

Yes. Now that I’m aware of this dangerous thing’s existence, I’m almost positive that someone’s eventually gonna ask me to kill it. 

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that it’s best to nip potential problems in the bud as soon as possible. 

“Well, it’s technically the Guardian Beast of this kingdom, so I can’t have you killing it…but still, if there’s a battle, there’s a chance that highly valuable Sky King feathers would get scattered around the area. And that would be…” 

As Snow struggles to deal with her inner turmoil, I’m starting to figure out why she raised this idea. 

However… 

“Guardian Beast, huh…?” 

I feel like we might be courting some sort of divine punishment by hunting a creature this revered… 

“Six! Once we’re dragonslayers, let’s go meet those Dragon Squad Whatever Rangers whose names I can never remember. Then we can taunt them and tell them, Dragon Squad, huh? That’s a cool name. Well, but we’ve actually killed a real dragon. ” 

“You realize doing things like that is why you skyrocketed to the top of the Heroes’ most wanted list, right?” 

I let out a weak laugh as Lilith enthusiastically holds up her fist. 

There are a lot of problems having Lilith as a Supreme Leader, but so long as I’m with her, I don’t have to worry about losing. 

6 

“Liar! Six, you’re a liar! Dragonslayer my ass! That’s a sparrow! That’s just an overgrown sparrow!” 

“Don’t blame me, it’s this planet’s ecosystem that’s screwed up. But the important thing is the bird poop. Could you hurry up and gather it?” 

The Sky King is a sparrow. 

A really, really big sparrow. 

It’s so big, it makes the griffin I fought look small. 

“This isn’t right. The aerodynamics wouldn’t work if you scaled a sparrow to that size!” 

“Please stop rambling and hurry up with the poop sample. Lady Lilith, as a scientist, you must be good at gathering samples, right?” 

The giant sparrow hops around the wasteland, pecking at the ground with its beak. 

“What do we do, Six? I can’t exterminate a sparrow! When I was little, I picked up a weakened sparrow and nursed it back to health… I’ve had an attachment to them ever since…” 

“You’re a Supreme Leader of an evil organization! You’re not supposed to be so cute and sentimental! That’s not gonna win you any cool-boss points!” 

Lilith and I are hiding behind a random boulder, arguing while watching the sparrow from a distance. 

“Hey, Six, the Sky King is known for its curiosity. Why don’t Lady Lilith and I go gather the Sky King’s droppings while you draw its attention?” 

Snow, the only one unfazed by the giant bird, pitches her plan. 

“Yeah, no. That plan will get me eaten for sure. Your fancy head of snow-white hair would be way better for drawing its attention. I’ll do the dirty work of gathering the poop, so go be a knight for once.” 

“No, no, I can’t possibly let my commander do something as filthy as gathering bird waste. This sort of dirty work is something for the rank and file. You should have the honor of acting as bait.” 

…… 

“Hey, that reminds me. Why are you, of all people, so eager to go digging through poop? Do people pay tons of money for Sky King poop or something?” 

“O-of course not! I’ve no ulterior motives! I’ve been learning about science from Alice while helping her. Yes, that’s it. I’m working to fulfill my scientific curiosity! I just want to poke around the Sky King’s poop. I have no other motives!” 

“Would you two cut it out with all this poop talk? Poop this and pee that. You sound like a pair of ten-year-olds.” 

Lilith’s voice is thick with exasperation, but I actually think her comment is pretty insulting to ten-year-olds. I’m pretty sure they’re a lot smarter than that. 

“Tch, we’re just wasting time arguing. I’ll go draw its attention, so you two better grab its poop. If it’s valuable, we’re splitting the profits!” 

“Okay, leave it to me! Oh, just so we’re clear, the droppings themselves don’t have any value. However, it’s possible we might find some valuables buried in them.” 

Based on Snow’s description, I assume that means various shiny objects. 

“ Sigh , can’t you two phrase it a little better…?” 

I leave behind a muttering Lilith and start running toward the Sky King. 

“The Sky King likes shiny objects! If you’ve got something valuable, use it to draw the bird’s attention!” 

“Yo, over here, birdbrain! Look at this!” 

As I step out from my hiding spot, the Sky King stops pecking at the ground and turns to look at me. 

“It’s the giant golden beetle I found in the Cursed Forest! If you want this, you better—” 

“Heeeeey, what the heck are you doing?! That’s my beetle!” 

Despite Lilith’s ambivalence when I first offered it to her, it looks like she’s grown attached to the beetle, and she lets out a shrilled objection. 

Captivated by the shimmering golden insect, the Sky King locks its gaze onto my hand. 

I gently place the beetle at the Sky King’s feet… 

…and watch it promptly devour my offering in a single bite. 

“Now!” 

“What do you mean, ‘now’?! It ate it! It just ate my precious beetle!” 

As we speak, the poor bug is becoming acquainted with the Sky King’s stomach. 

“Six, when I said shiny things, I meant jewels and precious metals!” yells Snow as she edges toward the Sky King. 

“In that case, leave it to me! Look at thiiiiis!” 

Learning my lesson from the loss of my golden beetle, I pull out something shiny the Sky King won’t gobble up. 

It’s my prized possession: the necklace I bought to placate a certain clingy disaster who’s been begging me for a new one. 

I feel like it’s brimming with the accumulated wrath of a vengeful spinster, but with this…! 

I swing Grimm’s necklace around to draw the Sky King’s attention… 

“Chirp.” 

“Oh.” 

Instead of the necklace, the Sky King grabs me . 

“…Lady Lilith, it seems this is it for me. Working at Kisaragi was awful and abusive, but still, I had fun here and there. Please give my regards to Lady Astaroth and Lady Belial…” 

“Don’t give up! Hang on, Six, I’ll shoot that thing down, and…” 

“Wait, Lady Lilith! The Sky King is a Guardian Beast! I can’t have you slaying it!” 

“Chirp!” 

Gripped in the Sky King’s talons, I’m carried high into the air. 

7 

“…This is Combat Agent Six. Lady Lilith, can you hear me? Over.” 

“This is Lilith, and yes, I can hear you. We tracked you part of the way using the satellite-link system, but we lost you around the rocky area. Where are you, exactly? Over.” 

Having been dragged off by the Sky King… 

“Right now, I’m in the Sky King’s nest. Looks like Snow was right about its nature. It hasn’t attacked me yet.” 

…I’m currently in its lair. 

“Lady Lilith, this is pretty impressive. There’s tons of shiny stuff here.” 

The bird’s nest I’m in is overflowing with glimmering objects. 

I can see a wide assortment of gems and an enormous pile of gold coins. 

There are also magic swords and glowing armor poking out of the heap. 

“Six, I’d like to hear more about the shiny stuff. Then again, it’s probably just junk a bird would collect. Glass beads and pretty rocks, right?” asks Lilith, trying to convince herself that the sparrow hasn’t actually collected anything of real value. 

“There’s a ton of jewels and gold coins. Also, there’s piles of things that look like magic swords…” 

After delivering my report, I hear a brief, muffled response from Lilith, and an oddly polite Snow calls back. 

“Commander, can you hear me? It is I, your loyal subordinate Snow. I am relieved to hear you are safe. When you were taken from us, I felt an ache in my heart for your safety…” 

Who the hell are you? 

“Hey! Give me back my radio and don’t butt in! But yeah, we’re glad you’re all right… So, Six, do you know where you are? I’ll come fetch you myself.” 

…… 

“I don’t know where I am exactly, but it’s somewhere between some cliffs. I’m about to request some rope so I can climb down on my own, so you don’t need to come get me.” 

““We can’t have that!”” 

My boss’s and my subordinate’s voices overlap. 

“…There’s some Sky King droppings in the corner. I’ll collect a bit and head back.” 

The Sky King is curled up in the back of the lair, having lost all interest in me the moment I let it keep the necklace. 

Doesn’t look like it’ll attack when I leave. 

“Hold on, Six, forget the droppings for now. Instead, let’s look into these shiny treasures…” 

“Do you have any idea how rare an opportunity it is to be able to enter the Sky King’s lair?! Don’t you dare leave that nest empty-handed! Forget about the poop and grab a few magic swords!” 

Forgetting the whole reason we’re here, my boss and my subordinate focus on their greed. 

“I’m not taking that stuff at a time like this. It won’t mind me pilfering some droppings, but it’ll come after me if I make off with any of its precious treasures.” 

I glance over at the Sky King. It’s taken a real shine to the necklace and is now using its beak to toy with it. 

“What sort of cowardly excuse is that?! Leaving behind treasure that’s just sitting in front of you—what sort of adventurer are you?!” 

“Ma’am, I’m a Combat Agent.” 

Hearing that, Snow throws insults in my direction. 

“Lady Lilith is right! To sneak into the Sky King’s lair and acquire its haul—that’s the sort of adventure story every man dreams of! And you’re going to throw away that opportunity?!” 

Sky King? Adventure? It’s a giant sparrow. 

It’d be a different story if I was in the lair of an actual dragon. 

Ignoring the two yelling at me over the radio, I shovel some poop into a bag… 

“Six, don’t you leave! We should be close now!” 

“I won’t leave you to face danger alone, Commander! If we must die, we’ll die together!” 

With their goals completely changed, the duo yells with ragged breath… 

I mean, these two are just getting in the way. 

If they make it to the lair, I bet they’re gonna make my escape harder. 

As I struggle to figure out a way to convince them to back off, the Sky King raises its head. 

I don’t know why, but the damn thing is still toying with the necklace I was planning to give Grimm… 

“…Combat Agent Six to Alice at headquarters. I’m in a weird situation. Think you can gimme a hand with those smarts of yours, partner? Over!” 

A necklace falls from the lair atop the cliff. 

As it hurtles down toward Lilith’s head, she grabs it out of the air with one of her tentacles. 

“Hmm, is this…?” 

“Isn’t that the necklace that bastard showed the Sky King earlier…?” 

The Sky King left the lair to look for food, so I retrieved the necklace and tossed it at Lilith. 

Evidently figuring out that I dropped it, Lilith holds the necklace up to the light and glances skyward. 

“Six, can you hear me? A necklace just fell on top of me. You’re nearby, right?” 

“Combat Agent Six here. That’s correct, Lady Lilith. I’m above you. The Sky King should be coming back soon, so if you could buy me some time, that’d be great.” 

““What?”” 

As Lilith and Snow wail in unison, they’re swallowed up by a giant shadow. 

The Sky King, now with a full belly, has returned to its nest. 

Before it lands, it catches sight of the necklace that Lilith’s holding up to the light… 

“Chirp, chirp, chirp!” 

“Who the heck was it who said the Sky King was gentle?! It’s super hostile!” 

“Lady Lilith, it wants the shiny object! The necklace you’re holding! It’s after that!” 

As Lilith risks life and limb acting as bait, I stuff as many coins and Sky King feathers as possible into my backpack. 

But it’s not quite time to climb down the rope. 

It’ll be a problem if the decoys leave me behind, so I egg on their greed. 

“Lady Lilith, I’ll drop you some of the Sky King’s treasure hoard.” 

Warning the decoys, I grab the remaining gems next and toss them toward the ground. 

“Well done, Six! Good work! Grrr, damned bird! Now that it’s on the ground, this treasure is free for the taking! Get lost!” 

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” 

Glancing down from my perch, I see Lilith guarding against the Sky King’s pecking while stepping on gems with her foot and slowly pulling them toward her. 

As for Snow, she’s cackling as she crawls around on the ground, gathering up gems in both arms. 

“Chirp, chirp, chirp!” 

“Evil organizations are pillars of avarice! We can’t back down to a mere bird with this much loot in plain sight!” 

“A wonderful attitude, Lady Lilith! I will not back down! Even against a Guardian Beast!” 

With the two of them caught up grabbing the treasure raining down from above… 

“This is Combat Agent Six. I’m returning to base. Got plenty of souvenirs for you. Over.” 

“Yep, good work. Try not to get caught up with the decoys. Over.” 

Gathering up the poop and the backpack, I sneak away from the area. 

8 

Having recovered the loot and the poop, I return to our temporary headquarters in the park. 

“Tch, that was awful… I usually prefer staying in. This is the last time we’re doing that, okay…?” 

With the pockets of her lab coat bulging with gems, Lilith flops onto the grass, muttering complaints. 

I returned on my own, and Lilith, unable to attack the Sky King, appears to have jammed as many gems as she could into her pockets and fled. 

“What happened to Snow?” 

“…The Sky King hauled her away when she refused to drop her loot. Since your rope’s still tied to the nest, I’m sure it’ll let her go when she gives up on the treasure.” 

I can’t imagine that greedy woman coming home empty-handed, so it doesn’t look like we’ll see her again for a while. 

After lying on the ground for a bit, Lilith sits up. Alice is there, shirking her hideout-construction duties apparently, so Lilith calls to her. 

“Alice, lend me a hand here, will you? We’re going to start on pesticide development.” 

Gazing into a bucket a short distance away, Alice doesn’t even bother looking at her when responding. 

“Yeah, welcome back or whatever, Lady Lilith. Right now, I’m busy with my orange-crawfish observations, so if you need help with one of your useless ideas, check back later.” 

“It’s not useless! And hey, that’s my crawfish! I got it in exchange for my work!” 

Alice seems focused on the small mokemoke Snow’s been keeping. 

“Alice, do you know how this country meets its food needs? It’s fascinating. They use hydroponics inside factories.” 

“I knew that.” 

“Isn’t that surprising?! And the reason for that is…” 

Lilith freezes after Alice responds without taking her eyes off the bucket. 

“The farms are getting attacked by flying monsters, yeah? I’ve known that for ages and have been working on methods to change that inefficient model.” 

…… 

“…Wait, hold on a minute. Really? Well then, let me hear what you’ve come up with.” 

Aware that our day’s labor may go to waste, Lilith waits with sweat trickling down her brow. 

“This planet’s monsters seem to have a habit of avoiding places that smell like powerful creatures. This is why I forced Tiger Man to give up some of his pee…” 

“Again with the pee?! Why are you all so obsessed with organic waste?!” 

I try to cheer Lilith up as she holds her head and screams. 

“Calm down, Lady Lilith. I mean, you’re still technically a Supreme Leader and an upstanding lady. You shouldn’t be saying ‘pee’ over and over.” 

“I’m not repeating it because I want to! …So did it work?” 

Alice finally looks up from the bucket. 

“No, Tiger Man’s pee didn’t have much of an effect. But waste from a stronger creature should solve that problem… Hey, Lady Lilith, could you come over and fill this bucket with…?” 

“Not another word! Here. Use the stuff Six brought back.” 

Interrupting Alice, Lilith snatches the bag from my hands and holds it out. 

“Alice, use this to complete the development of the pesticide. In the meantime, I’ll…” 

Lilith then reaches into her pockets and takes out some glittering gems… 

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Look, Six! Gems! And they’re gems I’ve never even seen on Earth! No doubt they’ll be worth a fortune if I take them back home…” 

“Those are glass orbs you can find just lying on the ground around here. They look different because of the difference in atmospheric composition, but they’ll return to ordinary glass the moment you take them back to Earth.” 

Lilith throws the rock in her hand. 

“H-how can that be?! Alice, try appraising the other rocks. I’m sure there’s at least one that’s worth a lot…” 

“No, they’re all pretty much worthless… Oh, hey, this one’s a tourmaline. At this size, you can sell it for about three hundred yen.” 

After Alice finishes her appraisal, Lilith falls to her knees. 

Ignoring her, I take out the coins and Sky King feathers I stuffed into my backpack. 

“I brought gold coins and shed feathers as souvenirs. Snow claims the feathers can be sold for a pretty penny.” 

“Good work, partner. I’ll keep the feathers for research and handle the coins. I’ll use them to do some investments and trading, so lemme know when you’re short on money.” 

Whoo-hoo! Guess I’m drinkin’ tonight! 

…Lilith enviously watches our exchange, muttering to herself. 

“Hey, Alice, aren’t you pampering Six a bit too much? I’m your creator. I’ll lend you some money, so could you use your information sources to—?” 

“Do it yourself.” 

…Looks like Alice really is in a rebellious phase. She coldly dismisses Lilith without a second thought.