7
With the giant lizard dead, the rest of the monsters withdraw like a receding tide.
I guess the lizard must have been the pack leader around here.
The science nerds insist on checking out the corpse, so we’re about to head toward the target when…
“Wait, whaaat?!”
Lilith lets out a cry of surprise as she glances down at her device.
“What is it, Lady Lilith? Was that earthquake actually your fault, Lady Lilith? Did you get a massive influx of Evil Points?”
“No! I already told you I didn’t get the point announcement! But when I double-checked my score, my point total was a lot lower than it should be…”
Alice helpfully elaborates as Lilith keeps rechecking her device in shock.
“While you’re on this planet, all supplies are going to cost you Evil Points. Basically, after your battle, Lady Lilith, the points were spent on your automatic resupply of ammunition and energy cartridges for your energy weapons. You were generous with your ammo yesterday, after all.”
“Wait just a minute. That applies to leaders like me, too?!”
On Earth, the cost of ammunition and energy cartridges that Lilith uses is automatically deducted from her bank account.
But on this planet, even things that are cheap to buy with cash require payment in Evil Points.
This clause was originally put in place to force me to commit acts of villainy whether I liked it or not, but…
“Are you kidding me?! My strength is based on the fact that I have access to unlimited ammo! If I stay here, I won’t be useful for long!”
Flipping out when a policy of her own making comes back to bite her—what a lovely boss.
“No one’s kidding. That’s your own damn rule, remember! You might spend your days goofing off, but since you’re here, we need you to do actual work. If you spend all your Evil Points and still end up useless, I’m gonna take out my pent-up frustration on you! You’re going to understand at least SOME of my suffering!”
“Nooooooooo! I don’t wannnnnnnaaaaaaaaaa!”
As Lilith tries to return to the camp, we spend the next hour cajoling her with a mixture of threats and reassurances.
Finally getting out of her funk, our bothersome leader makes her way to the target.
“Wow, that’s big. Dinosaur-class, even. How is it supporting its own body…?”
Lilith speaks with a hint of surprise, looking up at the giant lizard sprawled out with a huge hole through its head.
It really is a giant lizard, and it’s big enough that if someone told you it was actually a dinosaur, you’d likely believe them.
“Damn, giant lizards are sick. Hey, Alice, let’s try eating this thing. Then when I get back to Earth, I’m gonna brag about eating dinosaur steak.”
“Just because you Combat Agents are tough doesn’t mean you should go around putting random things in your mouth… Huh.”
After patting the lizard’s body with her hands, Alice quizzically tilts her head.
“What, you want a slice of dino-steak, too?”
“I don’t eat, you idiot. But try touching it. The skin feels metallic.”
I reach over and touch the lizard, and just as she says, the skin feels solid and cool to the touch.
With her interest piqued, Lilith begins taking a skin sample. I wander over and open the beast’s jaws.
““Oh…””
Alice and I peer inside the mouth.
“What is it? …Oh-ho-ho, well, well…”
Lilith joins us in staring into the creature’s maw.
The lizard’s innards are mechanical.
There appears to be a deployable turret inside its mouth. I have to guess that’s what blew away our hideout.
It’s then that I notice the hole in the ground the lizard popped its head out of also looks faintly metallic.
“Lady Lilith, Lady Lilith, notice anything odd about this thing’s lair?”
“…Any way you look at it, it’s clearly a highly advanced, man-made structure,” says Lilith curiously, directing her tentacles toward the ground.
Is she searching underground with sonar or something?
“…Hah! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Six, Alice, listen up! There’s a giant subterranean facility in this region! This is getting really interesting! Tell the other agents to be careful when exploring this place! Any damage will be met with severe punishment!”
As Lilith cackles maniacally, Alice and I peer into the giant hole.
“…Um, the facilities are a wreck thanks to the depth charge you used, Lady Lilith.”
“…Okay, tell the others to…uh…just be careful when they’re down there…”
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