6
The next morning.
“Yo, Alice. Is our useless boss still sleeping?”
“Seems she’s awake, but she won’t leave her tent. Can’t blame her, showing off like that and then, well… Figures she’s shutting herself away and staying inside all day.”
The sudden detonation of the base did send Lilith tumbling, but since her tentacles intervened at the last minute, she’s not actually hurt.
Well, at least, her body’s unharmed. That pratfall in the middle of her little spiel left a nasty mark on her pride.
I pick up the breakfast Russell prepared and head to her tent.
“Lady Lilith, how long do you plan to pout? It’s fine. It’s common knowledge among the Kisaragi rank and file that you’re kind of useless. It’s nothing we didn’t already know.”
“…?!”
I hear a sharp inhalation as the tent’s occupant swallows a comeback. I guess she was clueless about her reputation in the organization.
There’s a rustling as something crawls around inside the tent, then Lilith’s face peeks out.
“…That reminds me, Six. I didn’t think much of it at first, but where are Tiger Man and the other agents?”
Her composure restored, it finally occurs to Lilith to ask about the rest of our troops.
“After hearing you would be the one reinforcing us, Lady Lilith, they scattered to the four winds.”
“Wh-why?! Um…wait, does everyone hate me?!”
Despite the fact that she seems the type least likely to care about things like that among the Supreme Leaders, Lilith chooses this moment to get self-conscious.
“……”
“Six, now isn’t the time for you to get all quiet. You’re supposed to reassure me! Tell me that’s not the case! Wh-what am I doing wrong? I’ll do my best to fix it, so tell me what I’m doing wrong!”
I mean, she wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that she uses us like errand boys. That and the whole batshit-crazy thing…
“Well, there’s a pretty long list, but… First, Lady Lilith, compared with Lady Astaroth and Lady Belial, you’re completely lacking in the sex-appeal department.”
“Any last words?”
Lilith, beautiful but modest where it counts, mutters darkly.
“I’m only telling you what you wanted to know, but if that’s how it’s gonna be, whatever. Don’t blame me when the agents you send to bring you food put weird stuff in it.”
“I’m sorry! I’ll try to fix things, honest! So please… But there isn’t a whole lot I can do about sex appeal, y’know!”
Lilith crawls out of the tent with tears in her eyes, pleading as she clings to my leg.
“Your problem, Lady Lilith, is you eat nothing but junk food. Considering that, it’s probably too late to try to address your lack of assets, so why not start by revealing a bit more?”
“I really don’t need you telling me it’s probably too late! I’m a scientist. If there’s even a one percent chance, I’ll keep fighting, even if it’s against fate itself.”
She’s trying to make it sound impressive, but given the context, ehh…
“But…more revealing…? Wouldn’t showing more skin just make me look kind of stupid?”
“When it comes to reputation, you’re already at rock bottom, Lady Lilith. You’re so far down, it’s all up from here. Lose the tacky lab coat. Wearing it doesn’t make you seem any smarter.”
“Can’t you, I don’t know, be a little more tactful?! All right, fine, I’ll try making my outfits more revealing. But surely, there are other reasons, right? If agents are avoiding me just because I’m not showing enough skin, I’m going to have to beat some sense into them.”
Other reasons? Hmm, I guess all that’s left is…
“Well, beyond that, you just need to stop sending us on stupid errands and using us as subjects for your crazy experiments…”
“Wait, isn’t that the bigger issue?! The bit about how I dress is kind of irrelevant, isn’t it?! Forget all this for now. Let’s get our base built today!”
Slightly motivated by our exchange, Lilith grabs her breakfast and scarfs it down.
Back at the construction site.
The location has grown familiar by now, but we got some news today. We’ve figured out who’s behind the explosions.
According to Alice, what sniped our hideout yesterday is some new form of monster.
One moment, there was a flash of light from deep in the woods, and the next, boom went the base, with Lilith sent flying.
A look at the light source revealed a large reptile poking its head out of the ground.
Basically, we’d successfully executed Alice’s plan: Build a decoy to draw out the bomber.
“…All right, then. Ready, Six, Alice? The enemy is a large monster that takes cover underground between long-range attacks. Now that we know what it is, we can take care of it!”
Lilith’s specialty is long-range shelling using a massive amount of modern artillery.
Her typical MO is to use overwhelming firepower to vaporize a wide area, turning it into a charred wasteland. However…
“While we have no problem with you strafing the woods, please don’t use any of your really dangerous stuff.”
“I mean, the really dangerous stuff is the most efficient way of reducing things to rubble, but that wouldn’t be elegant. However, I, in my peerless genius, have already planned for this! Last night, while you lot were snoring away, I launched a small surveillance satellite into orbit. I’ve already identified the target’s lair.”
In spite of everything, she’s still a Supreme Leader. She’s planned ahead.
I turn to Lilith as she starts scribbling a note. I guess she intends to request some equipment.
“Why can’t you put all that strategizing to better use anyway?”
“Shut up, Six. You simpletons just can’t understand how a genius like myself operates. Now, while we don’t know what method the enemy uses to attack, we can always figure that out after we kill it. And with that… ‘Hypersonic Anti-Submarine Depth Charge!’”
As Lilith happily holds up the compact depth charge, I sigh in exasperation.
“Lady Lilith, you know that’ll mess up the bedrock around here. We’re supposed to settle this area, remember? We haven’t even done a tectonic survey yet. What if you cause an earthquake?”
“So what? If there’s the possibility of an earthquake, we might as well find out about it before we start moving people here. It keeps the damage to a minimum. That’s the power of science!”
The Hypersonic Anti-Submarine Depth Charge.
It’s a weapon particularly hated by people like the Japanese, who’ve been plagued by earthquakes throughout history. The hatred is justified, though. It’s been used to artificially trigger earthquakes more than once.
Lilith stole…or rather, got the inspiration from…the popular monster-hunting game, Monster Panda , where one uses sonic explosives to force subterranean enemies to the surface.
The weapon is primarily intended to be deployed against underground bases, but it’s also been used countless times to trigger earthquakes in areas where a large quake was anticipated within a matter of decades. Of course, in addition to the quakes, it also triggered massive protests from multiple activist groups.
Groups that believe it’s best to evacuate the areas and get the quakes over with. Groups that believe that, if left alone, the quakes might never happen and that consider it hubris to try to control nature. Groups that believe even broaching the subject completely discounts the feelings of the victims. These factions have been locked in a never-ending debate since we triggered the first quake.
Just then, Alice breaks her silence.
“Preach, Lady Lilith. There is nothing science can’t do. Someday, humanity will overcome any disaster. You might be useless from time to time, but you make good points!”
“Of course. Victory to humanity as we close the books on our long history of fighting natural disasters… Hey, Alice, are you sure you don’t need maintenance? I’m your creator, you know…”
As the science cultists work themselves up into a lather, the forest begins stirring, as though sensing the danger.
The trees suddenly part, and from the new opening, a giant lizard shows its face…
“Looks like it detected the danger through natural instinct. But it’s too late! Depth charge, awaaaay!”
Lilith’s tentacle grabs the explosive and tosses it at the lizard’s head.
The distance is about two kilometers.
Despite the considerable range, the anti-submarine depth charge sails high into the sky, falling in a pinpoint arc toward the target and—
A sharp, keening noise pierces the air as the ground violently rumbles underfoot.
The quake passes in a few seconds. Struck by the hypersonic blast from the depth charge, the lizard leaps out of the ground and rolls around in pain.
“Damn, Alice, she really did just cause an earthquake.”
“Impressive, Lady Lilith. Supreme Leaders are something else.”
“Hold on. That wasn’t an earthquake. It was over too quickly! And I didn’t get the Evil Points Acquired announcement! A-anyway, we’ve managed to drag the target aboveground!”
Panicking a little, Lilith turns her tentacles toward the lizard still thrashing around in the dirt.
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