CHAPTER 1
Vs. the Forest King
1
My scream echoes through the park-turned-campsite.
“Goddammitttttt! What the hell is with this planet?! I’ve had it! I’m going back to Earth!”
It’s been a week since the Undead Festival ended and our newly completed hideout exploded in front of our eyes.
This latest setback has put our morale at an all-time low. After all, we’ve pulled out all the stops for our latest effort—even dragging out the Destroyer—yet this is what we have to show for it.
Sitting on the grass and polishing her shotgun with the occasional squeak , Alice opens her mouth to speak.
“An exploding hideout or two is to be expected…but still, this is getting old. We don’t even know what caused the blast. We cleared out the area around the base with the Destroyer and burned a decent chunk of the forest for good measure. Just about all we can do is build another base to catch the attacker in the act…”
“Like hell we’re doing anything that convoluted! Remember, they won’t even send reinforcements until the base is ready. And to think, if we had a Supreme Leader with us, we’d be able to finish off this war with Toris and even do something about our competition and those damned woods…”
The Undead Festival has left its mark on our unit.
For starters, Snow’s been focusing on her work as a knight, trying to recover the trust and, more importantly, the pay she lost with her screwups during the Undead Festival.
As I fix my gaze on her bloodshot eyes, showing how hungry and desperate she is for status, I don’t see a trace of the proud woman I first met so long ago.
Next, there’s Rose. She hasn’t been back ever since announcing she’d be spending the rest of her days as Patrasche.
Looks like she’s been totally domesticated by a daily routine of eating her fill and being coddled by some old geezer.
Apparently, the only reason she conveniently showed up in the castle courtyard to face off with Gadalkand was because she was there to submit her resignation letter.
I snatched the letter, obviously.
I figured her cover would be blown after the Undead Festival ended and she’d be forced to come back, but I guess I underestimated her dedication.
And finally—
“Hey, Commander, I’m not sure what’s got you upset, but I’m sure a full stomach will help. Look! I’ve got a bento box here that I started prepping before the day even started! I heard you’ve been living in the park lately, but a bento lunch on the grass should put a positive spin on the situation.”
Grimm then happily opens up a bento box, skewering a piece of karaage fried chicken with a fork and offering it in my direction.
“Say ah.”
Grimm smiles beatifically, despite the bright morning sun she usually withers under.
“…Ah.”
I play along and open wide, at which point Grimm pops the piece into her own mouth instead.
“Juuuust kidding. Tee-hee, don’t mind me, Commander. It’s just a little teasing from your cute subordinate. But if you insist, this time, I’ll…”
This seems to amuse her, and Grimm giggles softly while reaching to skewer another piece of chicken…
At the same time, I grab a fork of my own and stab the piece in front of me.
“Oh! No, no, Commander! Let me feed it to you! …O-oh? Did you want to feed it to me?”
As I wordlessly move the piece of karaage toward her, Grimm, with her cheeks flushing, slightly glances off to the side and opens her mouth.
“Ah— F-fwait, fwannder! That’s too much! Wait! Did I annoy you?! You’re going to get me all greasy! Stop!”
I reduce Grimm to tears by force-feeding her karaage without a word. I then confiscate the bento box, munching on what’s left while wallowing in despair.
Our assignment is to build a hideout and begin settlement plans.
If we can’t find a way to accomplish it, we’ll be stuck on this miserable rock for the foreseeable future—
“Screw it, let’s call them over anyway.”
Ignoring the sobbing Grimm, I realize the obvious as I scarf down the food.
We were told to call over a Supreme Leader after the hideout was completed. They never said anything about the hideout needing to still be there. We did actually finish the thing. It’s not our fault it blew up almost immediately afterward.
“I spent all night making that lunch! At least pretend you’re enjoying it! Or at the very least, stop eating it in silence! One word of praise…that’s all I ask…”
Just like that, we’re technically finished with our hideout-construction mission.
Sure, it exploded after completion, returning to dust.
I suppose it’s a technicality verging on fraud, but as a proper evil minion, this is the sort of thing we’re supposed to take pride in, right?
“And another thing, what happened to the necklace or ring you promised to buy me?! I’m not saying this because I want the physical object, mind you. I just want…well, a token of your…love and affection…!”
I finish off the last of the food.
“Yo, Alice, I figured out what we’re gonna do next! Technically, we already finished building our hideout. Let’s just go ahead and call over one of the Supreme Leaders tomorrow. Then if they ask us where the hideout is, we’ll flat-out tell ’em it blew up. Once we get them over here, they’ll be stuck for a while. So while we’ve got ’em, we can get ’em to help us solve our pesky exploding-hideout problem.”
“…That’s all well and good, but everything depends on who we call over. For example, this sort of stunt’s not going to fly with Lady Astaroth.”
“You bastard, you’re not listening to a word I’m saying! Hrmph! Yes, clearly, it’s my fault for bothering with a bento in the first place!”
Alice looks at me skeptically, but I already know who we’re calling over.
“…What’s going on, Grimm? You look like you’re about to cry. Oh, the bento was delicious, by the way. Thanks a bunch.”
After spending the past few moments yammering on about something, Grimm looks over at me. It seems like she has something she wants to say, but she only manages to mumble a few words.
“That’s not fair, Commander…”
What’s her problem?
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login