Prologue
“That about covers it, Six. You still with me?”
“No, not at all.”
This particular night, I’m being given a nonsensical briefing over the monitor.
Lilith the Black is on the other end. She lets out an exasperated sigh at my failure.
“Six, you may be a meathead, but I thought you were at least as smart as an elementary schooler. I’ll explain one more time.”
The self-proclaimed genius tomboy shakes her head.
“Agent Six, you’re currently on probation. The forced requisitioning of the Destroyer has caused your Evil Points to fall deep into the red. As a result, we’re limiting your access to the requisition system.”
“That’s what I don’t get. I’m here putting my life on the line to beat back our competition. The Destroyer’s just part of the cost of doing business. In fact, you should be giving me a bonus for all my hard work.”
The Kisaragi Corporation’s pride and joy, the multilegged combat vehicle we called the Destroyer, is an assault weapon developed by the woman on the screen in front of me.
We forced them to send us one so we could defeat another of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four…
“We’ve got our hands full here on Earth. We need every fighter we can get our hands on, even lowly minions like you. Yet, you ordered one of our top-class weapons, then let the competition damage it, to boot…!”
“It’s not like we had much choice. According to Alice, they had the higher-spec machine. The Destroyer took damage because its inventor is useless.”
“U-u-u-useless? You’re calling me useless?!”
Lilith seems particularly sensitive to the slight. I suppose it’s because everyone around her is quick to praise her genius on a day-to-day basis.
“If anything, you should be praising us for sending their higher-spec machine to the scrapyard. But that’s fine for now. The real problem is with these new orders.”
“It’s not fine, but we’ll table that discussion. As for your new orders…you’re referring to the orders to build a hideout, right?”
Kisaragi’s newly issued orders.
They want us to build an entire fortress to serve as our base of operations on this planet.
“Last time you had us secure territory, and now you want us to build a base? You’re working us a little too hard. With this latest restriction of yours, I can’t even spend Evil Points! How are we supposed to build a base with no equipment?”
“We’ll let you order the equipment you need to build the base. But no more negative point totals, all right? If you need supplies, put some effort into your villainy.”
Ah, so they’ll send me stuff that’s not weaponry—good to know.
I’ll insist that things like porn and recreational items are necessary for base construction and have them send some over.
“Your thought process is easy enough to read. I’ll make sure they don’t send you anything like adult books or comics.”
“You sure you wanna cut us off from all relaxation? We might take advantage of our new base and rebel.”
“If that happens, we’ll send Astaroth over to put you in your place. She’s been on edge lately as it is.”
Lilith seems amused by Astaroth’s current state.
“What’s wrong with Astaroth? She on the rag? Go ahead and send her some pads as a present from me. Then tell her to treat us a little better and stop giving us these awful assignments.”
“Y-you really are a piece of shit. Astaroth’s on edge because she hasn’t seen a certain someone lately… Oh well. Agent Six, you’ve currently got an Evil Point deficit. Ordinarily, that would mean the punishment unit would come after you, but I’ve taken measures to delay that. Temporarily. Take the time to do some real villainy and get your points back up.”
Lilith lets out a playful little chuckle.
“Let’s just say you owe me one.”
She then reaches over to cut the connection…
“Ahem. You know you still owe me , right? I haven’t forgotten about the fact that you zapped me over here without explaining a goddamn thing. When I get back, I’m gonna grope you till you cry.”
“……What?”
“I’m gonna grope you till you cry.”
“Well then, Agent Six! We’ll leave the base construction to you! Until we meet again…”
“I’m gonna grope you till you cr—”
“I’m sorry! I really am! I’ll give you a proper apology eventually, so please forgive me!”
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