2
Activating the power armor’s general-purpose camo feature, I use my arms to hide my face and duck into the shadow of a garbage can.
While it’s not on the level of high-priced equipment like the optical camo, it’s enough to let you avoid casual scrutiny.
I figured it would be fine, since she told me to leave her there, but I didn’t think it’d end up this way.
“Commander, come out here! I know you’re here! You have until I count to ten! If not, I’ll curse you so that you won’t be able to meet any attractive members of the opposite sex for at least a year!”
Yikes. Talk about suicide terrorism.
In spite of the possibility of getting hit by the curse herself, she’s willing to suffer the consequences if it means she can get her revenge.
But this doesn’t even rise to the level of a threat.
If I won’t meet new attractive women, it just means I will focus on the ones I already know.
I’m already surrounded by women—female bosses, subordinates, coworkers, and even enemies.
I wouldn’t be able to handle any more potential heroines, so I don’t care if I don’t meet new—
“I’m right here! Here I am! Let’s just calm down!”
I raise my hands and rise from behind the garbage can.
It’s better to have as many new encounters as possible.
Duh.
“You ass! I’ve always dreamed of being carried that way, and then you tossed me into a dumpster!”
The stuffed cat that was chasing us dodged when I threw Grimm at it, complicating the situation.
Even I wasn’t planning to go that far, but…
“I get what you’re trying to say, Commander. You’re saying the world’s spinsters should be disposed of. Heh-heh-heh… What to do? What to do? What should I do to this insufferable ass?”
“Wait, calm down. Let’s negotiate. I’ll introduce you to one of my lively co–Combat Agents. He’s young, strong, and loyal, and he’s got a promising future, too!”
Note I haven’t claimed he’s handsome.
Is the situation too much for even a desperate spinster to bite?
…But Grimm goes quiet for a few minutes.
“…That’s the same thing the matchmaking service told me; I won’t be fooled. But I suppose I can at least listen to your pitch. Depending on what you say, I might forgive you for throwing me in the trash.”
Grimm is standing barefoot in the middle of the road, rooted to the spot by inner conflict, when a shadow falls across her.
The cat doll that had been following me suddenly appears behind Grimm and…
I can’t shake a sense of déjà vu at the sight.
I act before I think.
I draw my pistol and shoot the cat doll in the head.
“Eeep! W-wait, Commander—what are you…?”
Behind the frightened Grimm, the cat doll keeps its club raised, reaching up and pressing its free hand to its head.
Grimm glances over her shoulder and sees what’s going on, then runs toward me.
“Help, Commander! I just had a terrible flashback!”
“I feel close to remembering something, too! This is bad. That weapon looks familiar as well!”
Yes, I remember that heavy club.
I may easily forget faces and things people say, but when it comes to combat, my memory’s pretty good.
Yes… There’s no mistaking him.
“I remember now! That’s the Battering Hero, the Golden Bat! He was a Hero who had to give up his dream of becoming a professional ballplayer after tearing a tendon, and because his name is similar to a very famous Hero, he’s referred to as the Imitation Bat…”
“No, that’s not it, Commander! That can’t be it! Because I’m feeling déjà vu over the thing inside the cat doll, too!”
Grimm ducks behind my back, pointing her finger at the cat doll.
“You, identify yourself! If you’re undead, then you can’t escape Lord Zenarith’s rule! And that doll’s one of my masterpieces! I’m really fond of it so don’t damage it… Oh no!”
Ignoring Grimm’s warning, the cat doll begins to stuff the cotton spilling from the bullet hole back inside.
“What are you doing to the fruits of my labor, Commander? Do you know how much time it took to make this many dolls…?”
“This is hardly the time! The other dolls are coming closer, too! Are you sure you’re a bishop or whatever?”
The dolls nearby approach and surround the cat doll, as though to shield it.
Minus the cat doll in the middle, the dolls move awkwardly, as though they’re puppets on strings.
“In the name of Archbishop Grimm, I beseech you, Lord Zenarith! Remove your blessing from the undead here and return them to—”
“Stop that, dammit! How many times do you plan to kill yourself? We’re out of offerings to sacrifice to bring you back to life!”
I’ve lost count of the number of times Grimm’s done her suicide spell; pretty sure we’re playing with fire here.
But Grimm tilts her head with a curious expression. “What are you going on about, Commander? Undead can’t commit suicide. I’m just going to remove the blessing of undeath from them.”
“Do you not remember how you’ve been dying lately? You keep collapsing along with the other undead!”
Seems this useless bishop doesn’t remember that she was removing her own blessing each time along with the rest.
Grimm looks unconvinced. “I find it hard to believe that I, Miss Grimm, would do something so stupid… Still, there’s something wrong with these dolls. They didn’t even twitch at the mention of Lord Zenarith’s name. There might be a necromancer inside that cat doll…”
Necromancer.
A term that describes magic users who control the dead and that conjures images of antisocial and depressive people.
But the cat doll in front of us is most definitely the warrior type.
“Nah, just from fighting with that thing, I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of meathead. Necromancers are pretty smart, right? I mean this one’s dumb enough to possess a cat doll.”
“Not so loud—it can hear you… Hey, Commander, it seems to be quivering…”
The cat doll begins to tremble as though holding back its anger. It points its free hand toward the ground…
<Elite Four member of the Demon Lord’s Army, Gadalkand of the Earth, commands you!>
I hear the order inside my head like my internal announcer.
Probably because it has no vocal cords.
<Kill all the living in this city!!>
The cat doll issues the command telepathically.
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